The first thing I hear as Jonny and I come down the stairs, is Lydia's giggle and her exuberant voice.

"Thank you, Mary. Where are our divine hosts?" I hear her ask.

"They are still getting ready, Lydia." Mary politely answers.

"It's okay, Mary . . . we're here now." Jonny interrupts, rushing to greet Jake by enthusiastically shaking his hand before kissing Lydia affectionately on both cheeks.

"There you both are! Oh my darlings, don't you both look truly fabulous?" Lydia says, obviously pleased to see us.

Embracing her and giving Jake a welcome kiss, the feeling is very much mutual. "I am delighted that you both are here. The girls are getting ready upstairs, they can't wait to see you." I tell them, holding onto Lydia's hand excitedly, who, as always, looks absolutely stunning. Tonight, she is wearing a floor-length black evening dress. The A-line sweetheart bodice in sumptuous satin, fits her svelte frame perfectly. The cascading ruffles of organza, simply give her dress that all important WOW factor! Jake has certainly made an effort tonight, too. He's clean shaven with his hair tied neatly back. He handsomely wears a black slim fit Tuxedo with a crisp white shirt and a black satin bow tie. Individually they look gorgeous, together . . . they are simply perfection.

Lydia playfully pushes against me. "It's so good to be here, darling. I can't wait to see Lissy and Lottie." She smiles, squeezing my fingers.

"How was the journey down in that phenomenal dress?" I ask, eyeing up her gorgeous gown.

"Awkward, darling. I had organza going in places I didn't even know existed." Lydia's naughty brow arches, followed by a devilish giggle. "However, we are here and that's all that matters," she adds with a smile. Her dark eyes look at the decorated staircase, before looking back at me. "I have to say, Jessica. You really have made the place look amazing and the smells that are coming from the kitchen, have me salivating already." Lydia's animated hand gracefully glides through the air, wafting the tasty aromas around her face.

"Thank you, Lydia. We have loved making the apartment all festive." I say, appreciating mine and Jonny's handiwork. It's then, that I notice Lydia and Jake's overnight bags by the lift. "Shall I help you take your things up to your room?" I ask my dearest friend.

Jonny interrupts. "Jake and I can do that, Jessica. If you ladies go into the reception room and grab a bottle of champagne on the way, we'll be down in a minute." he says, brushing my back with his thoughtful hand. God, I love it when he does that! Come to think of it, I love every single way that Jonny wishes to touch me. Chastising myself for allowing my horny mind to wander, yet again to Jonny, I focus back on the lovely Lydia. "Are you hungry? I'm sure Mary will have something you can eat for now." I ask, about to lead her into the reception room.

Lydia shakes her head. "We had a bite to eat before we left, but I would love that glass of bubbly, darling." She smirks over her shoulder at me.

"Okay, I'll be back in a mo." I reply, turning to the sound of the girls rushing down the stairs. They almost bounce towards us in their new and fancy dresses.

Lydia opens her arms to greet them. "Oh, Lissy and Lottie! Don't you both look wonderful?" The girls, wrap their young arms tightly around her.

"You look gorgeous girls," I add, delighted to see them both with ecstatic smiles on their sweet faces.

Letting go of Lydia, Lissy and Lottie then cuddle me. I sweep them in my arms, happy and wanting to burst with pride. After our quick embrace, they both confidently show off their dresses to us. "You've not met Lydia's boyfriend, have you girls? He'll be down in a minute, unless you passed him in the hallway?" I ask with a smile.

Swishing her dress, Lottie replies. "We didn't see anyone, Mum."

Lydia steps forward, touching the girls on their arms, watching her man quickly coming back down the stairs. "Here he is . . . here's my lovely Jake." Lydia's outstretched hand is quickly held by him.

Jake greets the girls with a radiant smile. "It's lovely to meet you, Lissy and Lottie. I've heard a lot about you." He warmly holds his hand out, shaking Lottie's hand first, then Lissy's.

"Nice to meet you, too," both girls reply.

Jonny wasn't far behind Jake and brings himself right beside me, smiling. "You girls really do look lovely." His compliment to Lissy and Lottie is met with coy smiles and a choral. "Thank you."

I hold my hands up, apologetically. "Oops! I forgot our drinks. I'll quickly grab that bottle of bubbly."

Lottie's eyes widen. "Can we have some bubbly, Mum?"

Lowering my chin, with a frown. I hold my cheeky daughters face in my hand. "You can have some bubbly lemonade, yes." I playfully reply. My teasing is met with a groan and a cute pouty lip.

"Jake, shall we go into the reception room? We can have our drinks in there." Jonny gestures for Jake to join him.

Lydia clasps her hands in front of her chest, with dramatic effect. "Awww, isn't it lovely to see them both reunited, Jessica?" she teases.

"I think they have really missed each other." I answer, smiling sarcastically.

"Very funny ladies," Jake jovially dismisses our comment.

Jonny looks at me, laughing with a shake of his head. "Are you getting that bubbly, Dimples?"

I pivot on my heels. "I'm getting it now, Mr. Riley." I walk away with my very best ass wiggle because I know he's watching.

***

As the evening has already started to draw in, the room really does look enchanting with the glow of the Christmas tree and the log fire burning. Lydia and the girls stand there quietly, taking in the serene atmosphere.

"Oh, Jessica, it's like stepping onto a film set . . . it's just perfect." Lydia says, her lustrous lashes blink in wonderment.

"I'm glad you think so, Lydia. I was frightened we had maybe gone overboard."

Looking all around, she approvingly smiles. "Not at all."

"We did enjoy getting all the decorations. It took four men to bring the Christmas trees up," I chuckle to myself, leaving the champagne on an ornate little drinks table.

Lydia sashays across the room, settling her svelte self into one of the leather chairs. "So, when is everyone else arriving?"

"Helena, Steph and Harry are coming together from Devon at about six and everyone else is coming at seven." I tell her, looking into the glowing fire.

"I'm so excited. I bet you girls are too, aren't you?" Her brow curves high when she addresses Lissy and Lottie.

"I am," Lottie answers with enthusiasm. I'm relieved to see Lissy nodding zealously beside her. She is such a quiet soul. I'm very aware that this is a big deal for her. I sporadically keep checking on her, ensuring that she feels okay.

I look at Lottie. "The band will be arriving soon, to set up."

Her voice goes high with interest, "A band?"

"It's not The Wanted, but apparently they're great," I say.

Lottie now stands closer to me. "Who are they, Mum?"

"They are called The Covettes."

Lottie flicks her long hair off her young shoulders. "I've never seen a live band before, so I really can't wait." Her twelve-year-old, soon to be thirteen, body is literally buzzing with what the evening ahead will bring.

A small frown forms across Lydia's face. "I can't say I have ever seen a live band either."

I let out a combined sigh and giggle. "What are we like, Lydia? Getting closer to forty and never seen a bloody live band?" We eagerly clink glasses at our lack of life experience. Come to think of it, seeing a live band was never something, which appealed to me. In my younger days, I was far more comfortable on the dance floor rather than watching someone perform on stage. Being with Jonny is opening my eyes to lots of new things and people. I have no doubt, I will be experiencing a lot of new things now. Some I may welcome, some I may dread, but being with Jonny shall certainly never be dull.

Jonny and Jake are returning to where we are, chatting while they walk. They've both been at the far end of the large room, while Jonny has modestly been showing Jake his wall gallery of pictures of himself with celebrities that he himself admires. As always, I am pleased to see him. It's completely ridiculous, but if I don't see him for a while . . . my heart literally pines for him. I can't explain how much he affects me. It's like time slows down when he's not around. Each passing moment, kind of just drags and life is intolerable without him. As soon as I see him, all of my numbed senses are kicked back into action. My body reacts to him, whenever he's nearby. My pupils dilate, my heartbeat quickens and my skin craves for his touch.

I watch him confidently talking to Jake. He really is the sexiest man alive. Every glorious inch of him is drenched in sexy as fuck, sex appeal. He looks hot in a suit, even hotter . . . without a suit. For crying out loud, Jessica Neel . . . get a grip!

Jonny stands behind the chair that Lydia sits in. He leans on it with his elbows, his expression is sexily cocky. "Jake has just been telling me how he thinks you are going to be very drunk by the time everyone else arrives." Jonny grins stupidly behind Lydia. She swivels in her seat to look at his teasing face.

Jake cuts in. "She has brought four bloody dresses, but we will only get to see one as she'll pass out before getting a chance to wear the rest." He sniffs. Lydia throws him a 'you-are-so-not-getting-any-tonight' glare, but Jake just shrugs his shoulders, cheekily blowing a kiss at her.

Lydia sits tall, placing her clasped hands upon her crossed knees. "I can assure you darlings, my alcohol content shall be closely monitored. I intend to enjoy the night but remember it fully, come the morning." She holds her head up regally high.

Handing her a freshly poured glass of champagne, I laugh. "Ignore them, Lydia. We have some serious celebrating to do this evening," Without hesitation she grabs the bubbly from my hand while I continue. "Tonight we are celebrating Jonny getting his first American film role. You and Jake moving in together. Most of all, we are celebrating . . . us all being together." I put my arms around Lissy and Lottie, looking lovingly at Jonny as I do so.

"Mum . . . can me and Lottie go and see what Mary is doing?" Lissy sweetly looks up at me.

"Of course you can, are you feeling hungry?"

She screws her angelic face up. "Not really, we just want to see how she's getting on."

I smile, pleased that they both feel comfortable enough to leave my side. "Okay then." I reply.

They hurry out of the reception room, excitedly chatting to one another as they do.

Lydia smiles at me. "They look happy, Jessica."

"They do, don't they? I still have to pinch myself that they are here," I whimsically reply.

"How have they been with you, Jonny?" Lydia's question is warm but direct.

Jonny runs his hand through his lightly ruffled hair. "Lottie and I have been getting on really well. I'm sensing Lissy is wanting to get to know me a little more, but I don't want to push things. I'm just following her lead at the moment." He says, glancing in my direction.

"That's a good way to do it," Lydia agrees.

Jonny is soon beside me, snaking his arm around my waist. He pulls me into him while he carries on, "I want them both to feel happy and comfortable here. They've been through a lot, but they're great girls. I am willing to give them all the time and space that they need." I lean my head on his shoulder, by way of a thank you. He has shown only patience and kindness towards the girls. I know all he wants is to be given a chance to be someone who they grow to respect, admire and ultimately someone they enjoy being with. I put my hand on top of his which still holds my waist.

"I think she just feels guilty, Jonny. She actually does like you . . . she told me herself. It's just she's very close to Shawn, so she feels like she is betraying him by liking you. However, we've had a little chat and I think she feels a lot better now." I tell him, gently stroking his hands.

He smirks. "Actually, I have a little surprise for them both. A slightly early Christmas present but I don't want you to think that I'm trying to get them on side by spoiling them or anything."

I turn to face him. "What is it?" I ask, curious to know what he has bought the girls.

Jonny smiles. "I've got tickets for them to see The Wanted, with backstage passes and a meet and greet with the guys."

"You're kidding?" My open mouth and shocked face has Jonny panicked.

Looking guilty, he lowers his head. "It's too much, isn't it?"

I quickly kiss him on the cheek. "No . . . no, it's not. They are going to be hysterical though. That is such a lovely thing to do, Jonny . . . thank you." I kiss him again, this time on his mouth.

Jonny pulls back, looking deep into my eyes. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't . . . they will love it!" I give him a broad, assuring smile. "Anyway, how did you manage it?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Jay knows their manager, so I thought I would pull a few strings." Jonny smirks.

"Thank you." I whisper, looking up at him with complete adoration. Lifting my hand, he kisses my fingers with his full mouth. A longing shiver runs all the way down my spine. My body's way of telling me that it wants Jonny now.

"I think you're going to have two very excitable young ladies," Lydia laughs.

Jake gulps back his champagne, then walks over to Lydia by the fire. He places his caring hand on her shoulder. "Do you need to freshen up babe? We don't really have long until the party starts." He smiles lovingly at her.

Lydia stands up out of the chair, wrapping her arms around Jake's neck. "Is that your way of getting me alone, gorgeous man of mine?" she says, stroking his tied back hair with her long fingers.

"See . . . that champagne has already gone to her head!" he jokes.

"Darling, I am merely dizzy in love," Lydia purrs suggestively.

"Of course you are," Jake says. They kiss infatuatedly. Ordinarily, public displays of affection can leave many feeling awkward, uncomfortable or downright sick. However, Lydia is classy and Jake is laid back cool. Seeing them openly worship one other. For me, is endearing and charming. If I'm being completely honest . . . a tad hot. That is exactly what I wish myself and Jonny were doing, right now!

After peeling her lips away from Jake's, Lydia grins at me. "We will see you later then, darlings."

"See you both shortly," I chuckle.

Arm in arm, they blissfully wander out of the room. Jonny is still laughing and shaking his head. As soon as they are out of sight, he turns me around to face him. His seducing hands lower to my ass. "Alone . . . at least for a short while." He smiles, his voice quietly seductive.

"Every time I think I can't possibly love you anymore than I already do. You, Mr. Riley. Go and do something so wonderful . . . I find that I can." He brings his lips down to mine and doesn't just kiss me, he seizes them . . . takes control of them.

After kissing me senseless, he caresses my jawline with his finger, our foreheads still touching. "I am glad you do," he whispers.

"Is there no end to your perfectness?" I ask, pushing myself against him.

"I'm not perfect, Jessica. I'm just me," he answers resolutely.

"A perfect me." I reply softly.

Taking his hand, I place it on my chest. Feeling his hand over my heart, is like it's preciously being held in his grasp. I am giving it to him wholeheartedly and unreservedly. My heart is his. Forever and always.

Jonny leans down, giving my mouth a sweet and lingering kiss. "How the hell did we get to be so happy, Dimples?"

"We must be doing something right." I suggest.

"We are right, Jessica," his voice is so gentle and sexy. I hang off his every alluring word. His mouth widens into a gorgeously tilted smile. "I know I keep telling you this, but I really am glad that you bumped into me that day in The Broadway, nearly knocking me on my ass." I giggle as the moment, once again, flashes in my mind. We often reminisce about our first meeting. It's one we both never tire of remembering. That was a moment that forever changed both of our lives. If it had been one second before, or one second after . . . our meeting may never have happened.

"I know I have said this to you before, too. I'm just grateful that I didn't end up on my ass. Your first impression of me could have been very different," I suggest.

He pulls on my hips. "Seeing you on your ass would certainly have made an impression, beautiful." Jonny's wicked grin and facetious eyes tell me exactly what his thoughts are.

"I bet it would." I bite my lip, looking up at him with sultry eyelids. An open invitation for him to kiss me.

His pulls me against his bulging erection. "I want to take you upstairs." He breathes hard against my mouth. "Don't think for one second that I failed to notice your teasing ass wiggle from earlier today." He says, digging his fingers into my aroused flesh.

"We can't," I breathlessly remind him.

Jonny stands impossibly close, kissing my neck. I want to wrap myself around him and let him take me right here and now. As much as I want that. It can't happen. I have to fight the urgency between my legs. Jonny doesn't just have a personality to die for, he has a fuck-onality like no other man. He can weaken any woman with his sexual charm. He's like an addiction; one hit and you're hooked. Or in my case, one fuck and I'm fucked.

I pull myself away. I can't go upstairs with him while my girls are downstairs. It just doesn't feel right. I wish my traitorous sex would just accept that. It continues to pound for him: throbbing with fervent desire. What a complete bitch my vagina is! I occupy my aroused self by fiddling with my hair. Anything to distract myself from being alone with Mr. Shaggable Riley.

"You look flustered." His throaty laugh fills the room. The slanted smile he wears, literally turns my knees to jelly.

"I'm glad that my being turned on amuses you," I pout at him.

He drags his finger down between the valley of my breasts, his lips twitching into a faint smile. "That it does." He says in a deep, husky tone. There is that bloody smile again!

"I'm going to have to drink to suppress my frustration," I admit in defeat.

"Or . . . it just may have the opposite effect. You may turn into a raging sex maniac and have to fuck me in the toilet," his reply is almost a growl. Damn!

I quirk my brow. "Is that wishful thinking?" I ask, blinking slowly.

Placing a tender kiss on my unsated lips, he turns to leave the room. "Now that would be telling, Jessica."

Like I've said before . . . a total clit tease!

***

Lissy and Lottie are excitedly watching the band set up. Mary and Frankie have nearly finished everything in the kitchen. The waiter and waitress have arrived and Lydia and Jake have joined myself and Jonny in the smaller reception room. There's a buzz of anticipation and exhilaration.

I turn to Lydia. "I'm glad you decided to keep that dress on. It really does look stunning on you," I say with a wide smile. She playfully curtsies, gently pinching each side of her ruffled black dress. Her glossed black hair is still immaculate, regardless of the fact that she has more than likely just had sex with Jake.

"Thank you, darling. Jake rather likes it, too." Her lewd, high, brow and her feigned look of innocence is returned by a smiling and slightly red faced Jake. Although he acts a little coy at times, secretly I think he gets off on Lydia's blatant sexuality.

Nevertheless, playing the game . . . he rolls his eyes. "You're incorrigible, Lydia."

She swans towards him. "But you love me, regardless."

"God help me, but yes I do." Jake's handsome face grins with adoration as he sensually brushes his hand down the back of Lydia's dress.

In the other room, we can hear the band begin to do their sound checks. Loud drums, bass guitar, keyboards and percussion blend to create a rhythmic and melodic beat, with intertwined sweet vocals.

"They sound great, don't they?" I slip my arm around Jonny.

"I told you they were good, didn't I?" he replies.

"The girls won't leave that room now." I laugh.

"As long as they're enjoying it . . . that's all that counts." Jonny beams, looking totally relaxed.

"Did you do a playlist?" I ask.

"I've requested a mix of old and new, some Christmas songs and some slower ones near the end. They know what they're doing." Jonny smiles.

I tilt my head and smirk. "Slushy ones at the end, huh?"

Tapping his toe to the beat, Jonny brings my hand to his lips, kissing it. "It has to be done, doesn't it? Any excuse really, to have your body pressed up against mine."

I stroke his fingers with my own. "A slow dance with you at the end of the night, is something I shall very much look forward to." I tell him. Jonny responds to me by softly kissing the tip of my nose.

Lydia interrupts with a raised voice, to ensure she's heard over the music. "Did I just hear you say slow dancing at the end of the night? I should warn you, darlings. Come the end of the evening, a slow dance will probably be all I'll be able to bloody well manage in these heels." Lydia rests one arm on Jake, enabling her to show us her gold skyscraper heels.

"My God, I would get a nosebleed wearing those bad boys!" I exclaim.

"A nosebleed could be on the cards, should I fall," she sniggers.

"Hold on tight to your lovely lady there, Jake. We don't want a trip to A&E tonight." Jonny smiles across to Lydia and Jake.

"I certainly intend to, buddy. I'm on another promise tonight." Lydia giggles with delight at Jake's cheeky reply.

Jonny lets go of me with an adoring smile. "I'm just going to check all is okay, as mum and the others will be here soon."

"I'll come with you as I want to check the girls are okay," I respond, rushing up behind him.

***

When I enter the other reception room, the sounds filling the room are sending vibrations through the floor to my feet. The lighting is low except for some footlights pointing upwards. Lottie is bouncing around like an over-excitable kitten, while Lissy is much less animated by doing a lot of head nodding, toe tapping and smiling like a fool. I momentarily stand in the doorway to capture the moment and treasure it always. It's not long before Lottie spots me and rushes over, quickly followed by Lissy.

"Are you having fun?" I ask, bringing my arms around them both.

"They are brilliant, Mum." Lottie wraps her arms around my waist. I kiss the top of her head.

"I'm glad you are both enjoying yourselves."

Lottie's bright blue eyes look up at me. "Shall I ask them if they want anything?"

"If you want to, darling." She gives me a little nod then dashes off towards the band.

I notice Lissy has a faraway look blanketing her face once again. "You okay, darling?"

She looks a little lost. "Yes . . . where's Jonny?" she asks in her soft, quiet voice.

"He's just checking everything is okay with Mary and the waiting staff, as everyone will be arriving soon." I tell her with a loving smile.

Lissy wraps her arms around herself. "I'm nervous, Mum."

"Why?" I ask, stroking her silky hair.

"I don't know, I just am." she answers.

My arm tightens around her, holding her protectively. "If you need me. You only have to come and find me, okay?" I reassure her.

She lets out a burdened sigh, resting her head on me. "There is so much to take in."

"Like what?"

"This place, the people . . . everything really." She confesses.

I lower my head to look at my darling daughters face. "You know Lissy. I once felt exactly the same as you."

"You did?" she asks with sweet disbelief.

Remembering the overwhelming feeling I had when I first became a part of Jonny's life is something I shall never forget. Part of me doesn't think I should ever forget how it felt to be thrust into his celebrity lifestyle. It will keep my feet firmly on the ground. My head from out of my ass. It will stop me from being devoured by the trappings of fame. Many do get complacent about where they have come from. They forget who they truly were before becoming famous. I don't think I will ever be totally comfortable with the whole celebrity thing. For the most part, it definitely does have its perks but there are sides to being a celebrity that I would rather have no part of. Nor should I. It's Jonny who is the famous one. There will only ever be one celebrity in this relationship. It's his life, his work and ultimately his fame . . . not mine. He is merely the man who I love. The man who loves me. I didn't fall in love with the fame . . . I fell in love with the man within the fame.

I pull my apprehensive daughter closer. "I know exactly what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed, Lissy. You will soon get used to it. All the people who are coming here tonight are those who are close to Jonny. They will only be family, friends or close colleagues." I reassuringly smile down at her.

"Okay," she says, wrapping her arms around me. I rest my chin on the top of her head, hoping that I've made her feel just a little better. We stand in a comforting embrace when Jonny comes over looking genuinely concerned.

His hand lands gently on my back. "Everything okay, Jessica?"

I look at him, grateful that he's here. "Yes, we're fine. Lissy is just feeling a little out of her depth, that's all." Neither of us let go of the other.

Jonny now looks even more worried. "Really? Is there anything I can do?" He stands to the side of me so he can see Lissy's hidden face.

She turns her head towards him. "I'm okay now, thanks." Lissy politely answers.

Seeing my daughter be so gracious with Jonny and to then give him such a pure and forgiving smile; really is a defining moment for the two of them. Jonny's tense shoulders drop down in relief as soon as he sees her reassuring smile.

Jonny glances back at me. "I just wanted to tell you that Mum, Harry and Steph have just arrived. They are dying to meet the girls and to see you."

Lovingly rubbing Lissy's back, I reply. "Okay, I just need to tear Lottie away from the band. We'll be along in a minute," I tell him with a thankful smile.

"I don't mind waiting here with Lissy while you get her." Jonny offers.

I hesitate to leave Lissy but her bright eyes and relaxed expression, tell me it's okay to do so. The two of them, stand beside one another; cheerfully looking on as I walk to the other side of the room to retrieve my youngest daughter. "Lottie, darling, there are some people we would like you to meet in the other room."

Lottie turns around with a tattooed grin on her face. "Okay Mum, see you later guys." She waves and the five funky looking band members all wave back at her.

"They didn't need a drink or anything then?" I ask.

"No, they've all got their bottled water." She tells me in a happy sing-song voice.

"We can ask them later if they want anything to eat." I tell her, holding her hand as we walk back towards Jonny and Lissy.

Lottie doesn't even reply to my comment. She's obviously far more interested in who she is going to be meeting next. Her following question only confirms this. "Who are we meeting then, Mum?" she innocently asks.

Jonny has obviously heard her question, too. "My mother and my oldest friends, Harry and Stephanie. They've just arrived and are wanting to meet you and your sister, Lottie." He beams at her.

Without a care in the world she walks straight past us. "Okay."

***

Together we walk into the other reception room. Helena, Harry and Stephanie make a glamorous trio in their party attire and are already comfortably chatting with Lydia and Jake. Helena's welcoming hands are held out to greet me. "Jessica! Merry Christmas, my lovely . . . oh, and here we have your two very gorgeous daughters." She has a warm gleam in her eye.

"Merry Christmas to you, Helena. It's so good to see you," I reply with mutual affection.

We both wrap our arms around each other like long lost friends. It feels good knowing that she's genuinely pleased to see me. After our fond embrace, I turn to share a joint cuddle with Harry and Stephanie. "Harry . . . Steph . . . Merry Christmas to you both. How have you been?" I ask while excitedly being squeezed to death by them both.

"We're great, thanks Jess," Stephanie says with her chin on my right shoulder, Harry on my left. "All the better for being here, though." She giggles. After our trio hug we all pull back from one another, each of us eyeing up what the other person is wearing.

"You're looking rather hot tonight, Jessica. Give us a twirl." Harry holds my fingers with his outstretched hand. I playfully oblige by rotating once on my heels. My beautiful dress swishes around my body as I turn. Jonny's eyes follow my every move. He has a roguish smile tattooed on his lips alongside a silent smugness about him. It's like he's saying to himself, "She's mine . . . all fucking mine!"

Stephanie is buoyantly by my side. "Yes, you do, Jessica. You look absolutely fab, you really do." Her bright, impressed eyes look me up and down one more time. Then she eagerly grabs my hand, entwining both of hers around it. "Now, the last time we were here things really didn't go as planned, did they? One minute we were dancing, the next I lost my dance partner. So gorgeous lady, you have some serious making up to do." She gives me a little pout, followed by a little frown. Then she winks at Jonny before laughing. Stephanie's infectious giggle reminds me of why I liked her so much the first time that we met. Her curly auburn hair looks gorgeously pretty, pinned loosely up with corkscrew curled tendrils hanging attractively down the side of her face. She really is beautiful in her adorable knee length cocktail dress; the teal shade really complements her hair and flawless skin.

I lean into her. "You definitely have your dance partner back, Steph. I hope those heels you are wearing are all warmed up for later." We both look down at her black suede platform heels.

Posing with her hand now on her hip, she says, "Damn right they are, Jess." She holds her pose for a second until she cannot contain her laughter anymore. God, I love this crazy girly!

Helena pushes between us. "Now enough about dancing and shoes . . . will you please introduce me to these two young beauties of yours, Jessica?" Lissy and Lottie both blush as all eyes now rest on them.

Grabbing each of the girls by the hand, Helena pulls them closer to her. "Now, let me get a good look at the two of you." Her eyes keenly digest Lissy and Lottie with piqued interest. Both girls smile politely yet they look like they are slowly dying of embarrassment.

Putting my arm around Lissy's shoulders, I start the introductions. "This is my beautiful daughter Lissy." I give her a tiny reassuring squeeze.

Helena smiles with a how-do-you-do nod of the head. "What a lovely girl you are. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You, too." Lissy shyly smiles back.

Moving across to Lottie, I once again give her shoulders a loving squeeze. "And this is my beautiful Lottie." I proudly grin.

"My . . . my . . . you are a gorgeous little lady too, aren't you?" Lottie blushes at Helena's compliment, coyly tucking her golden hair behind her ear.

"Nice to meet you," she confidently replies with her head held high and sporting a big smile.

Helena looks across at Jonny. "I've been told you are a budding little artist?"

Lottie nods with a wide grin before answering. "Art is my favourite subject in school."

"Well, what do you think of my work then, Lottie?" Helena looks to one of her paintings on a nearby wall.

"I haven't really had a chance to get a good look at them yet, but of the ones I have seen . . . I really like them," Lottie replies honestly.

With an impressed quirked brow, Helena slowly nods her head. "That's nice to know, Lottie. I am glad that you like them. I'm already loving your confidence by the way. It will get you far, my lovely." Helena's eyes flick over to me, flashing me a no-wonder-you-are-so-proud smile.

Lottie is instantly drawn to Jonny's mum. "Do you think you could take me to one of your exhibitions one day?" she asks without hesitation.

Helena smiles broadly at my sweet, assertive young daughter. "Of course I could. I would love for you to come and Lissy too, of course," Helena replies, looking at Lissy's attentive face.

"I am sure they would love that very much, Helena," I say, pleased that the introductions are going well.

Helena smiles. "It really would be wonderful if they came, Jessica. For me it would be a welcomed respite from some of the dull artsy types who often frequent my exhibitions."

Jonny interjects, "But, Mum . . . you are one of those dull artsy types."

Helena matter-of-factly holds her one finger up. "Now, now Jonny. Pretending to be one of those dull, artsy types does not mean I am a dull artsy type. Now make yourself useful and get your thirsty mother a drink." Jonny shakes his head and laughs.

"Mum, I could never accuse you of being dull," Jonny replies, sweetly touching her arm.

Lissy grabs my arm and whispers, "I like her, she's funny."

I grin. "Yes she is, darling."

With the introductions over, we happily mingle together, catching up with each other's news. I have a new sense of belonging with people old and new. Most importantly, I am with people that I care about and who care about me.

I love to watch Jonny and Helena interact with one another, their closeness is uncomplicated and natural. It really is wonderful to watch their mother/son bond. Shawn always felt on edge in his mother's presence and was never truly at ease when she was around. I also like to watch Harry and Stephanie with the same interest; they have been friends for so long they just gel perfectly together. There's a deep love hidden behind their longstanding friendship. A love, that I doubt they are even aware of. I guess only time will tell whether that love will develop or not.

Lydia and Jake are enjoying getting to know Helena, Harry and Stephanie. Their raucous laughter can be heard while they talk about many different things, even Lissy and Lottie join the group as they exchange fun and interesting conversation. One by one everyone who is important to us is here at the party. Beef arrives all suited and booted with his friend, Janie. According to Jonny, she often accompanies him to social gatherings.

Helena has us all laughing right away, when she asks poor Beef whether the tailors had to turn three suits into one to fit him. Janie, who I've never met before, tries to stifle her laugh. She is wearing a long crushed velvet deep purple dress, which flatters her curves. She is mid-forties, attractively plain with dark chestnut, chin length hair. Jonny introduces us and, although she's a quiet lady, she is pleasant all the same. Apparently she and Beef have been friends for many years and Jonny insists that is all they'll ever be. It does leave me a little confused about their relationship but if I'm honest, I don't detect a romantic spark between them. Then again, Beef is not exactly a heart and flowers kind of guy. So maybe, she's just happy to settle for whatever he can give her. On many an occasion, I have often wondered if there has ever been a Mrs. Beef in the picture. Jonny thinks that Janie is as close to a relationship as Beef will ever have.

Jay Scott and his wife Lara, arrive a little late. I am surprised to see how tall she is compared to him; even without heels she would still tower over him. However, they do make an attractive couple. He's dressed in a black suit with an eye catching red shirt and she's wearing a short, silver cocktail dress that shows off her giraffe like legs. Her long blonde hair is curled and swept to one side so it cascades down past her collarbone, resting upon her generous chest.

Jonny introduces us and straight away I know that this is a strong, independent woman. To be with Jay Scott, I suppose one would have to be. Otherwise, his dominant character would overshadow someone completely. From our first meeting, I can tell that Lara Scott is a feisty lady who won't take any shit.

Simon brings his young and gorgeous girlfriend, Mitzy. He looks handsome in his casual charcoal suit and Mitzy looks fabulous in a short, gold and black bodycon dress. She looks a bit shell shocked when she meets Jonny but that simply adds to her sweet charm. For a girl who dresses so confidently, it's cute to see how she holds so tight to Simon's arm for reassurance.

***

The party is in full, festive swing. The Covettes are going down a treat in the one room and the dining room table is a palatial feast for one's palate, seasonal food at its finest.

Mary proudly looks on as Frankie places the final plate of food beside the colourful spread, which is now before our eyes.

"Oh, Mary, the food looks absolutely fabulous. I literally am drooling, it all looks so delicious." I put my arm around her.

"I am delighted, too, Jessica. There have been no major disasters in the kitchen, it all went really smoothly. I really couldn't have done it all without Frankie, though," Mary says as Frankie shyly smiles at us both.

"It has been great fun Mary, I really have learnt a lot today," the young girl says.

I grab them both a glass of champagne. "Now I hope you are both going to relax a little and let the waiting staff take over from you?" I ask with a wide smile.

"We will enjoy the evening, yet keep an eye on the kitchen, too." Mary winks.

I give her a big cuddle. "You just can't stay away, can you Mary?"

She shakes her head. "I'm no good at delegating when I can do it myself, Jessica."

I roll my eyes. "Frankie, please try to keep her away from the kitchen," I request.

"I'll try, but it may be a losing battle." Frankie shrugs her petite shoulders. I nod, agreeing and laughing at the same time.

Jonny strolls in and his eyes widen when he sets eyes on the food laid out beautifully on the table. "Wow, the food looks fit for a king." His broad smile and admiring eyes fix upon me.

"Isn't it just?" I reply, still appreciating all of Mary's culinary masterpieces.

Jonny walks right over to a delighted Mary. "Well done, it really does look great. I appreciate all your hard work, Mary. You really are my star, thank you." He kisses her on the cheek then cockily picks up a few red grapes.

"Thank you, Mr. Riley." The way her eyes quickly look down at the floor and the sudden flush to her cheeks show how much it means to her to get Jonny's approval. Mary prides herself on her loyalty and professionalism, but seeing how upset she got when she was talking about Jonny leaving for New York showed to me her true fondness for him. All that she has done here today, has been for him.

Jonny then stands beside me with a serious expression, popping the last grape into his mouth. "Jessica, can I have a quick word?"

"Of course." I follow him out into the hallway. He suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me towards the dimly lit toilet beside the beautiful staircase. As soon as the door closes behind us, he pins me up against it with both his hands above my head. Jonny looks deep into my eyes before kissing me with slow, sensual determination. As hurried, as he was to get me here, with his kiss he takes his sweet time. I, as always, surrender to his beautiful mouth. I close my eyes, not wanting him to ever stop. When it does, I am still lost in his kiss for a few serene moments. I can feel the heat of his breath on my satisfied lips.

I slowly open my eyes. "What's that for?" I ask in a breathy whisper.

Jonny gently rubs our noses together. "It would seem I am missing you, Dimples."

I tilt my head with a slight grin. "Are you now?"

"I am having to share you with a lot of people this evening, so I figured this might be the perfect opportunity to get you alone."

I lightly caress his lips with my own. "How very cunning, it appears to have worked."

His eyes sexily narrow. "I fucking love it when a plan comes together." Our lips lock once again in sentimental passion, his body pressing into me harder. As our kiss trails off, I playfully bite on his bottom lip: giving it a salacious lick after. This isn't about Jonny wanting to have sex with me. It's just as he says . . . he just needed some time alone with me.

He holds me against him. I stand there just breathing him in. "I can't believe we only have a few days left before you leave." I mumble into his chest.

Jonny's body tenses. I lift my head to look at him. "I know." is his only reply. He looks detached as the sadness blankets his face.

"What's wrong, Jonny?" I ask, holding his hand.

Bringing my hand up near his heart, he looks at me. "This is an amazing film offer. I know it is, but I don't know if I can do it, Jessica. The timing feels all wrong. I'm having serious doubts about the whole thing now."

I search his eyes. "I am not going to lie to you, Jonny. It's going to be hard. But if anything, the timing is right."

He frowns. "Why?"

"Because of the girls and work, I'll be staying in Cheltenham quite a bit anyway. Until the girls feel more comfortable about coming to stay here on a weekend, I will be needing to spend more time away from here. We have all made a great start but I'm still trying to rebuild my relationship with them. That's going to take time. I think the fact you will be away, will give me that time needed to get securely back on track with Lissy and Lottie."

He stands back, looking a little offended. "So you think my being here won't let you do that? What happens when I return?"

I hold him against me, worried that what I've just said has completely come out wrong. "I think if you were here, it would probably take longer. You are a constant reminder of why I'm not with their Dad. It will give Shawn time to adjust to my seeing them, too. As great as things are going, we still have to handle things sensitively, Jonny. They both need time to see me in my new life without Shawn. They need time to get used to hearing me talk about you and having you in my life. Like I've already said, we've made a good start . . . but we have a long way to go yet. Besides, you can't turn this role down. It's a role which will open many doors for you." I wrap my arms around his neck.

Jonny's frown has deepened. "You didn't answer my question about when I return."

"When you return. I will be here waiting. More in love with you than ever. I will have settled into work and had precious time with Lissy and Lottie." I reassure him, stroking his lonely mouth.

He looks over my shoulder, looking lost and sad. "You make me sound like a nuisance."

Bringing his face closer to mine, I smirk. "I can confirm you are a definite distraction."

Jonny continues to pout. "You're going to be too busy to miss me."

Again, I smile. "So will you."

He looks sternly at me. "I can assure you. Jessica. I am without doubt, going to fucking miss you."

I lean in closer, to kiss his sulking lips. "I am going to miss you more than you will ever know, my darling. I'm just trying to turn a negative into a positive here, Jonny."

"Positivity seems to have eluded me." He says, sighing heavily.

I hold him tightly in my arms. I'm trying to give him something more tangible to hold onto but it's useless. Who am I trying to fucking kid? I must be in complete and utter deluded denial. This is the man who has turned my life completely upside down. The man that I love so very passionately. So why the hell am I not being completely honest with him? It's true that with Jonny in New York, I will have the time to focus on my daughters. It will give Shawn, time to adjust but that doesn't mean that I will be any less lost and lonely without him. I keep on trying to convince myself that his going away is going to be painless but it won't be. It's going to be more painful than I can possibly imagine. I may have Jonny believing my bullshit but it's about time that I admitted to him that I feel just as scared as he does.

"Jonny?"

"Yes?"

My adoring eyes lift. "I know I'm trying to be positive, but the truth is . . . I am absolutely terrified of you going. There's a part of me that wants to beg you to stay. Of course I don't want you to leave. I love you with all my heart. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm okay about you going, but I'm not. I'm not lying about me needing time with Lissy and Lottie. I'm not lying about Shawn, but I am lying about being okay . . . I'm not okay. How can everything be okay when I can't even stand you leaving the room, let alone the country?" Before I even have time to stop them, my tears fall down my cheeks. Tears of truth spill from my eyes without warning and without giving me time to prepare.

Jonny grabs me. "Please don't cry beautiful. I can't bear it." Holding me within his comforting arms, he rests his chin on my head; letting out a deep sigh. "Weirdly, your words make me feel better." He pulls back so we are nose to nose, breath to breath. "What we have is special, Jessica. I love you. You must know that no amount of time apart is ever going to change that. However, we must make a decision . . . together we have to decide. Do I stay or do I go?" He asks THE question, the question that we have both been trying to avoid.

I hold my head up, looking into his troubled hazel eyes. "You have said you will do the film, Jonny. You have to honour that promise." I tell him quietly, fighting back my tears.

Jonny strokes my cheek. "Are you sure?" he asks, with eyes never leaving mine.

I nod, needing to swallow first before answering. "I am sure of our love, Jonny. In fact, it's the only thing I am sure of. You need to do this film, then return to me."

Jonny smiles. "I can certainly do that." he tells me before clasping his hand around the back of my neck, pulling my lips to his. After delivering his tender kiss, he rests his forehead against mine. "All the time that I am in America, Jessica. My heart will remain here with you. I love you so much. I always have. I always will. Always."

With an aching heart and trembling hands, I cuddle him so tight. I stand there holding onto my darling Jonny, cherishing how it feels to have him in my arms and his body next to mine. "Now I feel okay." I tell him, leaning back to look him in the eye.

"So do I." Jonny says, blinking at me with loving spheres.

I smile, stroking the side of his face. "We had better stop hiding in the toilet and get back to the party."

Jonny nods with a smile. "Are we good?" he asks.

Holding his hand, I turn to open the door and say, "We are good."

Holding me from behind, Jonny kisses my neck and whispers in my ear, "When do you want me to give the girls the concert tickets?"

"I think before they go tomorrow, it would be a lovely parting gift from you."

"Okay . . . let's get back to the party." Jonny kisses my shoulder then takes my hand.

Luckily, everyone was having too much of a good time to even notice our absence at the party. Time momentarily seems to stand still as I look at everyone here, unified in happiness.

Lydia and Stephanie are dancing and laughing. Jake and Harry look preoccupied in deep conversation. Helena is with Lissy and Lottie, her expressive face and animated arms have both the girls mesmerised.

Jay and Beef are head to head in comfortable conversation. Simon and his girlfriend, Mitzy are cosy and close in a corner; while Mary and Frankie are sat quietly together with another glass of champagne in hand. This all happens beneath the soft, festive and enchanted lighting, with the band playing merry Yuletide tunes in the background.

The Christmas spirit fills the room and truly makes it feel magical. If only I could capture this special moment and put it in my pocket. All of those present have in some way travelled along with me on my journey and contributed towards my being here beside Jonny . . . happy, content, loved, and in love.