The darkness of the evening fills the apartment. I stand up, wondering when Jonny will be home. I've been so caught up in nostalgia, sometimes painful nostalgia. That I've only just realised how much I have actually missed him today. When I am down, Jonny always makes me feel better. I need to feel him beside me. I need his loving warmth to warm my hurting soul.

I am suddenly struck with an awful, deep-rooted panic. How the hell am I going to cope with not having him here when he goes to New York? Shit! The anxiety sucks me down into a bottomless pit. Can I really let him go? Fuck! Can I really?

I walk downstairs to the kitchen to see what Mary is doing. When she isn't there, I go into the main reception room. Where to my surprise, I find her with Jonny and Beef. Mary is leaning over Jonny, holding something to his eye and whispering.

"Oh, you're back. How long have you been home?" I ask, pleased to see him. As I get closer, I can clearly see something is very wrong. "What the . . . ?" my voice shakily trails off. I can't even finish my sentence because Jonny has a bloodied black eye. I despairingly look at Beef and Mary, then back at Jonny.

I kneel beside Jonny, who tries to give me a reassuring smile. "What happened?" I ask with pleading eyes.

"I'm okay, don't panic." Jonny strokes my arm, but I can see he's in a lot of pain. Mary has an ice pack pressed on a lump just above his brow bone. My confused thoughts run wildly away with me.

"Who did this to you?" I ask in a trembling, panicked voice.

Jonny holds my hand. "Darling, calm down. I'll be fine. I have to tell you something, but I don't want you to be angry with me."

My panic-stricken voice rises, "Why . . . what has happened, please tell me?"

Jonny looks at me, nervously swallowing. "I have been to see Shawn." Shit! What did he just say?

I blink hard, not understanding. "Shawn? I don't understand . . . why?"

"To try to talk to him." Jonny tells me, wincing as Mary moves the ice pack on his eye.

"Did he do this to you?" I ask with tears now forming in my eyes. Jonny nods, looking over at a shaken looking Beef. I try to process what he's telling me. Panic surges through me once again. "Shit Jonny, you didn't fight?" I try to stand up, but Jonny pulls me back down.

"No, no . . . of course I didn't fight with Shawn."

"Then what happened?" I desperately search Jonny's face. Beef steps forward. His deep voice is quiet but strong.

"Shawn is what happened, Jessica."

"Shawn hit you?" I am now looking back at Jonny, he nods slowly. "Did the girls see?" I ask, fearful of his answer.

Jonny shakes his head. "I don't think so."

I lean against his knees. "Why didn't you tell me where you were going?"

"Because you would have tried to stop me." Jonny says, trying to smile.

"Too bloody right. What were you thinking, Jonny?"

"I just wanted to try to make him see sense, but as you can see it didn't quite go according to plan." He attempts another smile, but it hurts him when his eyes crease upwards.

I hold his hands in mine. My stomach is gnarled, when I look at his raw and bruised face more closely. "I can't believe you would be so stupid."

He looks down at the floor. "I wanted to try to make things better. I'm so sorry, Jessica."

I grip his hands tighter. "Don't be sorry, but please promise me you won't do anything like this ever again."

Jonny rests his head onto mine kissing the tip of my nose. "I promise." He then carefully stands up, kissing a scared looking Mary on the cheek. "Thank you Mary, I think I'm going to have a shower now." Jonny's pride has been hurt. I don't think I have ever seen him look so dejected as he quietly leaves the room.

"I'll be up in a minute," I shout after him, but he doesn't answer. All three of us stand there in stunned silence. I look at Beef. "Is he okay?" I ask.

"Just a little shaken, I think." Beef rubs his concerned hand over his smooth head.

"I'm just going to check on Mr. Riley's dinner. After the day he has had. I don't want to spoil his meal, too." Mary is visibly shaken. I walk towards her, wrapping my arms around her.

"He'll be okay, Mary . . . nothing a bit of TLC won't sort."

"I hope you're right, Jessica." She tries to force a smile.

"Do you want Beef to take you home after you've checked dinner?" I ask.

"There's no need. My husband is collecting me, I texted him earlier."

"If you're sure?"

Mary smiles. "It's a kind offer, but really there's no need."

I nod, stroking her arm. "As long as you're sure?"

"I am . . . thank you." She quickly leaves the room.

Beef and I look at one another once again. His tanned face is so tense as he nervously walks towards one of the leather chairs near the fireplace.

"You okay, Beef?" I have to ask because I've never seen him look so perturbed either.

Stretching his arms out in front of him, he blows a burdened breath away. "I'm fine. One hell of a day, though."

I slump down into the chair opposite him. "What was he thinking?" I ask with a heavy sigh, nervously clasping my hands on my lap.

Beef looks at me. "He was just trying to sort things out for you, Jessica."

"Did you go to the door with him?" I ask, frowning with worry.

Beef shakes his head, looking sadly back at the fire. "Jonny didn't want me to, but I followed anyway in case things turned nasty. It's a good job I did, really."

I lean forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees. "Tell me what happened, Beef?"

"Shawn answered the door and Jonny calmly told him he wanted to talk to him, but Shawn wouldn't let him in. So Jonny then asked him why he wouldn't allow the girls to see you. That's when Shawn hit him. I went to protect Jonny, but he told me to back the hell off. Then he walked straight back up to Shawn. Telling him he deserved that and if that's what makes him feel better for destroying his family, then he will happily stand there and be punched over and over again. So Shawn hits him again." Beef looks pained, telling me his re-count of what happened.

"Shit, Beef! He really said that?" I lower my head into my hands. I am shocked, scared and yet strangely proud. I know Jonny meant what he said to Shawn. He probably would have kept taking the beating because he believes he truly deserves it. His perverse chivalry only makes me love him even more.

"That's not all, Jessica. When Jonny approaches Shawn again. He also tells him that they both love the same woman. He knows that Shawn is hurting and trying hard not to love you anymore, but deep down Shawn also knows that you're not a bad mother and punishing you by using your daughters is just wrong." Beef says, staring at me hard.

I swallow with disbelief, blinking back my tears. "Then what?" I ask.

"Shawn just closes the door." Beef grips the arm of the leather chair with his overly large hand. He looks so upset about it all, like he's blaming himself.

"There was nothing you could do, Beef. We both know that when Jonny puts his mind to something, there's just no stopping him. Why do you think I am still here?" I anxiously laugh.

Beef's surly expression changes to a small smile. His formidable shoulders shrug heavily. "He's a fucking pain in my ass," he gruffly says, tinged with a little humour.

I smile but it soon leaves my lips as the enormity of what Jonny has done hits me. "I'm overwhelmed by Jonny's actions, Beef. " I say, bringing my shaky hand to my chin.

"He loves you very much, Jessica."

"I know he does." There's a relaxing, comfortable silence between us.

I notice Beef's gaze on me. He hesitates before speaking. His whole upper body rises as he takes in a deep breath, slowly letting it back out. "Why do you think I was always so guarded with you when we first met?" Beef quietly asks.

My eyes widen. Remembering how once upon a time, Beef always used to make me feel so inadequate and unworthy around him. His coldness had always bothered me so much.

I shrug my shoulders, tilting my head with a weak smile. "Because you didn't like me?"

Beef smirks to himself. "It was never about me not liking you, Jessica. I've only seen Jonny care about one other woman and when he met you, he had the very same look in his eyes. It didn't work out for him with her. So when I found out that you were married. I thought, here we go again! For me, you just meant more heartache for him." Beef admits with a smile.

"Who was this woman?" I ask, pretending to not know about the mysterious Georgina. It has to be Georgina that Beef is talking about. Jonny's forever love!

"Her name is Georgina. Who she is really doesn't matter though. My point is, he fell for you harder than he ever did with her and he hardly knew you. Georgina was someone he had history with, yet never before had I seen him want someone as much as he wanted you. I won't lie, Jessica. It worried me." Beef stands tall, his magnificent shadow, blankets the reception wall.

"So what happened between them?" I ask, my hands nervously tighten together.

Beef shakes his head, turning his back on me. "It's not for me to say. I am sure one day, Jonny will tell you all about her. What I can tell you is this, it took him a long time to get over her and my job is to protect Jonny. I protect him in a professional manner every single day. However, Jonny is not only my employer. He's my friend, too. I'm able to shield him from everyday harm in the physical sense, but when you see a friend who is emotionally crippled by their own hurt. That's a tough thing to have to handle, Jessica. It's something I never want to see him go through ever again." Beef is opening up to me in a way I never thought possible. His relationship with Jonny runs very deep. I now completely understand why he acted in the way in which he did towards me. Beef was only trying to protect Jonny's heart.

"You care about him very much, don't you?" I ask in a soft voice.

Beef smiles without any hesitation. "I love him like a brother."

My heart swells at Beef's candid words. "How long have you known Jonny?"

Beef comes and sits opposite me. "We had mutual friends in Devon. We always got on and had a laugh together. I'd been a bouncer in a couple of the local clubs for years and when Jonny's career took off, he asked me whether I'd be interested in being responsible for his security. That was over ten years ago."

I look at Beef with a dipped chin. "Remember when I first met Jonny? You scared the shit out of me!" I tell him with a small smile.

His weathered face softens, then he laughs at my admission. "I suppose that is kind of the idea, Jessica. I am meant to look scary."

I laugh, relaxing into the leather chair. "That's true, but even after that. I always felt that you didn't like me."

Beef's eyes dart up at me. "I am sorry if I made you feel like that, Jessica. I was just looking out for Jonny, that's all. I've watched his career grow and when someone becomes famous, they become public property. That's been tough for Jonny. He's one of the good guys in this business. He really cares about people, which unfortunately can make him an easy target for all of the undesirables in this world."

I stand up and walk over to Beef. Even though he is sitting down, I am still very much dwarfed by his burly body. I don't even need to bend down too far in order to give him an affectionate kiss on his big cheek. "I really am glad we've had this chat, Beef. I now have a better understanding of you. Jonny is extremely lucky to have you looking out for him, he really is." I affectionately stroke his shoulder.

Beef looks proud. "Believe me, it's a pleasure. I get to travel, meet all kinds of people and work with someone who is like family. I have a great life."

"So, are you all set for New York?" I ask. Whenever I mention New York, my stomach just rolls forward.

Beefs nods, with a wary smile. "I'm looking forward to it, but I know that Jonny is feeling very torn about going. He really is going to be a nightmare, mainly because he will be missing you."

I agree, with a weighted sadness in the pit of my stomach. "It's going to be tough for the both of us, but we can talk to each other every day. I know I'm going to miss him terribly, regardless. I'm hoping that by keeping myself busy, it will keep the pining at bay." I solemnly look out at the room in front of me.

Beef stands, placing his giant-like hand on my shoulder. "He will kill me for telling you this, but he's told me that leaving you behind Jessica, is going to be one of the hardest things he will ever have to do."

I am being overtaken by my emotions. I try to hold them back, biting down on my lip. "Letting him go Beef, is one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. Only today I panicked when I realised he won't be here soon." Beef squeezes my shoulder, a consoling squeeze. I lift my hand to give his a gratified pat.

"That is why he wants to celebrate your first Christmas together by having a party; he wants to leave on a high." Beef explains.

"I'm looking forward to it, I really am. I just hope I can hold it together." I weakly smile, with tears in my eyes.

"You will Jessica. Besides, he's not going to be gone forever. He'll be back before you know it."

I know Beef is trying to ease my mind but even a day without Jonny, feels like a damned eternity. I try to stop my chin from quivering by being strong. "No, he's not." I quietly respond.

"In fact, we both will be back before you know it." Beef's broad grin greets me, pulling me from my solemn slump.

I smile, still facing the man who used to intimidate me so much. His bright eyes still on me. "Thanks, Beef. I suppose I had better go up and see how my wounded prince is doing."

Beef's loud laugh fills the room. "I'm heading home now. So I'll see you both tomorrow, Jessica. Take care of him, won't you?"

"I certainly will. See you tomorrow." I turn, heading towards the door.

"Oh, and Jess?" Beef turns to face my direction. I am near the reception door so his gruff voice has to be heard from across the room.

"Yes?" I ask loudly.

"I'm glad we've had this chat. I just want you to know that how I used to feel about you, is not how I feel about you now." I nod with a thankful smile.

"The same applies to you, Beef." I leave the room feeling light. A new and deeper understanding has passed between us. I walk up the stairs with a smile on my face and needing to be with Jonny.

*WHAT ARE YOU LOVELIES THINKING ABOUT THE BONDING BETWEEN BEEF & JESSICA? HIS PREVIOUS ATTITUDE TOWARDS HER KINDS OF MAKE SENSE NOW, RIGHT?