The next day the headlines are much more personal and hurtful; Riley Got Cheating Wife Pregnant . . . Riley's Lover Was Pregnant . . . Jonny's Lover Loses Baby . . . Ectopic Scare For Riley's Cheating Lover.

In light of these painful headlines, Jay decides to release the statement on behalf of Jonny and myself.

Obviously, many people didn't even know about the ectopic pregnancy. We are both surprised and taken aback by the outpouring of kind-hearted messages we receive from Jonny's friends and those he had worked with in the past.

"I'll be glad when they find some other poor bastards to write about." Jonny throws one of the morning papers down onto the kitchen worktop.

Mary, who is busily buttering some toast, literally jumps out of her skin from the sound of the paper slamming down onto the hard steel surface. Her startled face looks across at Jonny. She can see how harassed he is, so she offers him a sympathetic smile with her kind and loyal green eyes. "They will, Mr. Riley, just you wait and see."

Affectionately Jonny smiles at his trusting housekeeper. "I hope you're right Mary, I really do."

Seeing myself, coldly described, as a cheating wife along with how the press can callously write about our baby, is not the greatest way to start the day. I am swamped by feelings of shame, embarrassment, hurt and loss.

I feel two arms wrap around me and Jonny's chin resting on my shoulder. "You okay, Dimples?"

I let out a slow breath. A 'no, I am not' kind of breath, but choose to play down my feelings. "I'm fine." I quietly reply.

"It will blow over . . . believe me." Jonny brushes his cheek against mine.

"I'll be okay, I'm just feeling sorry for myself, that's all." I place my hands on top of his, enjoying the comfort his embrace brings.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Resting my head against the side of his face I reply, "This cuddle helps." Jonny gently sways with me from side to side then lets me go, spinning me around so quickly I am now facing him. His cappuccino eyes momentarily look at me before he places the most gentlest of kisses on my lips. If kisses were a way to make all the shit in my life disappear, then this kiss was it. Jonny is trying to kiss all of my woes away, all of our woes away. He wants to vanquish all that is troubling me by showing me his love, by letting me feel his love. I sigh once more, but this is a contented sigh; a 'you are so bloody wonderful' kind of sigh.

Assured that I am feeling better, Jonny picks up his toast and quickly takes a sip of his coffee. When Beef strolls into the kitchen, he looks down on the counter at all the papers and a deep frown forms across his broad forehead. He is a man of few words anyway, but the sympathetic smile he throws me speaks volumes. That's right Beef . . . I'm still making front-page news because of my infidelity!

"I had better hurry up." Jonny grabs his mobile and wallet.

This is the first time Beef and Jonny have been out in a few days and I'm worried. I know how the press is going to pounce on him as soon as he steps foot out there. I wish he didn't have to go, but he has an important meeting with a casting director. I am more nervous than ever about him leaving the apartment today, as it seems there are a lot more press out there since the news broke about the ectopic pregnancy.

"Make sure you look after him, Beef," I request.

"I sure will, Jessica," Beef says.

Jonny stands in front of me, stroking my arms. "I'll be okay."

"There are so many out there today . . . just be careful," I beg.

"Simon is going to stay with you and Mary whilst we are gone. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but hopefully it shouldn't take all day."

"Don't worry about me, handsome. I am going into the library to indulge myself in some peace and quiet with a nice book for company," I sweetly shrug.

"Okay, darling, I'll see you later." Leaning forward, Jonny smells light and fresh with a distinct zingy aroma. His hazel eyes are bright and warm as his luscious lips kiss mine. Shit! He hasn't even left the room and I miss him already!

***

When I go up to the library, I just sit there, gathering my thoughts. I try not to think of my daughters. They're not wanting to have anything to do with me is like a raw, open wound which doesn't ever want to heal. I wonder how they are. I wish I could hear their voices or better still, hold them! No! No! No! I can't think about them! I just can't!

With feelings of boredom, sadness and loneliness, I browse the vast array of books. I am trying to decide which one to choose so I can settle down and be taken into a realm of fantasy within a corner of my mind. Anything, just to forget literally everything on the outside of these walls.

I brush the book spines with a choosing finger. I smile when I reach Of Mice and Men. I remember this classic Steinbeck novel well as we studied it in secondary school. I have fond memories of it being one of the first books I read which kind of just stayed with me. I pull it out to reacquaint myself with it again. As I open the first page I find a folded up piece of paper. With curiosity I open it. It's a hand written letter, so with the same curiosity I begin to read it.

23rd April 2008

My darling Jonny,

I write this letter with a heavy heart. I hope you understand my reasons for not joining you in London. I know I explained it to you, but I hope deep within your heart you truly do understand. I always knew you would be a success one day, as it has always been your dream to be an actor (all those awful drama club productions at school obviously paid off in the end). I thought I would be able to handle the fame side of it, but I can't. I thought my love for you would be enough to help me deal with it, yet I find it isn't. Although there is no doubt in my heart of my feelings for you, Jonny. I know that if I leave Devon and join you in London, I would hate it. Everything that I am is here in Devon; my job, family and friends. I realised by leaving them, I would only be following your dream and not mine. I would end up resenting you and probably hating all we ever were to each other and I can't do that to us.

I have thought about this for weeks and weeks. I've cried myself to sleep for most of them, as this decision is the hardest and most painful one I have ever had to make. Letting you go hurts me more than you'll ever know because I love you. You will always be in my heart, Jonny, and I want you to be happy in all that you do and with those you choose to do it with.

Do you remember this book? We used to study from this exact same book. I give it to you now to treasure always, just as I shall always treasure our sweet memories together.

Never forget I love you and I wish you well.

Your forever love,

Georgina xxxxxx

Shit! It's a Dear John love letter! I swallow hard, folding up the letter as it was before. My emotions rush through me from the raw and emotive words, which have been thoughtfully penned by someone from Jonny's past.

He has never mentioned a Georgina before. She is obviously someone who he knew a long time and someone whom he loved very much; the heartfelt words show just how much she loved Jonny.

I feel like I have disturbed something so preciously private. I now have so many questions running wild within my head. Who is she? Where is she now? Does Jonny still think about her? Does he still think of her as his, forever love? Too many questions!

Of course I can never ask. Damn right you can never ask, Jessica Neel! This letter was not meant for you to ever see.

I feel like I have intruded on something I shouldn't have. The date is 2008, but the emotions, which lie within this letter, are still as strong today. I carefully place the book, along with the letter, back to where it had been before. I'm laying it to rest, so to speak. So too, must the questions I have about the mysterious Georgina. I can't let Jonny know that I have found the letter. I would hate for him to think I have read something which was only ever meant for him to see.

As irrational as it seems, I feel jealous of the memories they share. I know Jonny and I are just creating ours and I suppose Jonny may feel exactly the same way about Shawn and me. Yet, I still can't shake off the tinge of jealousy that I carry with me now. The fact is, both of us have a past. It is completely and utterly ridiculous to feel threatened by someone who is very much a part of Jonny's. I must now try to ignore my groundless thoughts and feelings . . . I must forget about Georgina.

***

The day drags on with fleeting thoughts of the letter, the complete frustration of being unable to go out, missing Jonny and my girls and a not yet being one-hundred percent recuperated body. Fed up, I decide to go and lie down. At least there, I have the comforting scent of Jonny on the pillow. Without even knowing it, I'm eventually lulled into a deep slumber.

My eyes start to twitch, I feel myself being roused from my deep sleep by the feeling that someone is in the room with me. I slowly open my eyes to the pleasing sight of a smiling Jonny at the end of the bed.

"How long have you been there?" I mumble drowsily.

"Not long . . . just long enough to see how beautiful you look when you're asleep," he answers.

I stretch like a cat with a coy smile. "How was your meeting?" I ask with a strained voice.

Jonny smiles. "It went well, I think. In spite of everything, they're still keen for me to have the lead role."

"That's fantastic news." I sit up, lying back on the pillows.

Taking off his jacket and hanging it up in the mirrored wardrobe, Jonny carries on talking. "I should hear in the next few days whether I've definitely got it or not."

"What was the press like?" I ask.

"We had a couple of paps follow us. There are still quite a few outside, but they'll soon get bored." Jonny says, seemingly unbothered.

"I really am not looking forward to setting foot out there for the first time," I say, smoothing down my bed-head hair.

Jonny closes the wardrobe door and sits down on the bed. "Do you think you would be up for a quiet dinner somewhere nice in a few days' time?"

My mood brightens. "I thought you would never ask, I am slowly going crazy not being able to go out." I admit.

He moves closer, taking my hand. "Are you sure you are up to it, Jessica? You know the press will be out there."

I lovingly smile at him. "I need to face them sometime. It's a nice relaxed dinner with the man that I love, nothing is too tiring about that." I assure him, stroking his face.

He laughs, kissing my knuckles. "It's a date then."

Just him doing that sends tingles of desire through my just woken body. That is, until a random thought pops into my head to taunt me. I tense with a small frown forming across my forehead. "Do you think the public are going to hate me? Shit, what if I get egged or something awful like that?" I nervously blink.

Jonny huffs. "They could bloody well try."

"Maybe I should wear waterproofs . . . just in case?" A forced little giggle passes my lips.

"Beef and Simon will be with us. If anyone's going to get egged, it will be them." We both laugh.

All joking aside, I really am shitting myself about facing the press and indeed the public. I can't however, keep hiding away. I have to confront my fears, head on! I am quietly going crazy just being cooped up in the apartment. It will do me good to spend some time with Jonny, even if it is under the watchful eye of a hungry press pack.

I wrap my arms around Jonny's waist. "So where are you taking me?" I excitedly ask.

"A little Italian place, not too far from here. I didn't want to take you too far. At least it's getting you out for a bit and giving the press their much wanted first pic of you."

"You make it sound so romantic." I playfully roll my eyes.

Jonny grins. "You know what I mean. I don't want you to overdo things, that's all."

"I know exactly what you mean." I kiss his neck and snuggle into it, wrapping myself over his hips and legs.

I feel his chest rise as he speaks, "I missed you today." Hearing him say the words that I've been feeling all day long, gives me a pleasurable warmth. I hold him tightly, like I never want to let him go. I think of Georgina and try to imagine how it must have felt to give up the man who is tightly in my arms right now. "Judging by the constricting cuddle, am I right in thinking you have missed me too?" Jonny's deep laugh echoes through his chest.

"I really have missed you today, Jonny. I've been feeling so frustrated and bored . . . I am missing the girls terribly. So much so, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself anymore." I feel a little pathetic, admitting just how needy I am. I don't want Jonny thinking I'm only clinging to him because he's now all I have left . . . I cling to him because I love and need him.

"I knew something was up when I left you this morning." Jonny says quietly, running his fingers through my hair.

The frustration I feel comes tumbling out of me. "I'm used to being busy and, although I am feeling much better, I know my body still needs time to fully heal. Yet, my mind just wants to get going. I really need to see my girls, but I know I'm not yet strong enough to face a battle with Shawn." I bury my face in Jonny's chest with a long, drawn out sigh.

"It won't be long until you'll be running around like you were before. It's only been a week since the operation and already you are so much stronger. As soon as you are well enough, then you can face Shawn," he assures me.

"I know. At least I have meeting your mum and going out with you to look forward to. Plus, Lydia and Jake want to come up in a couple of weeks' time as well." I say, sounding a little more positive.

Jonny laughs. "I don't think you're going to have much time to be bored because so do Stephanie and Harry."

I rest my chin on his shoulder. "We have a busy time ahead of us, then?"

"We certainly do, Dimples."

There's a gentle tap on the bedroom door. "Jonny, your mum has just arrived," Beef loudly announces. We both look at one another. Jonny looks confused, quickly jumping off the bed to answer the door. I am left feeling completely unprepared for this! Shit!

"Mum is here now?" Jonny asks with surprised wide eyes.

Beef looks just as confused, shrugging his shoulders. "She has just this minute arrived."

"Why has she come early?"

"I don't know, but she's waiting for you downstairs." I hear Beef walk away, his heavy feet thudding all the way down the hall. I honestly don't think I will ever get used to how ginormous that man really is!

"Well, my beautiful Dimples, you're going to meet my mum." Jonny kisses my nervous mouth.

"You go on down, I'll be down in a minute." I just need to have a quiet panic attack!

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you?" Jonny gently asks.

I lightheartedly shoo him away. "No, I'll be fine. I want to freshen up a bit first." Then have another quiet panic attack!

"See you in a minute then." He says, slowly walking out of the door.

I breathe in deeply, trying to calm myself down before getting out of bed. Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm not ready for this! Standing up, I look at my reflection. My boot cut jeans with a turtleneck cashmere jumper in a deep blue colour, look casually classic and not too creased after my nap. I go to the bathroom to quickly brush my hair and to sweep a clear gloss across my nervous lips. No matter what colour the gloss is, it is always my saving grace. I pout back at my reflection, flicking my hair off my shoulders before heading downstairs. Now I am ready!

I hear excited chatter as I enter the reception room. I walk in wearing the biggest and bravest smile on my lip-glossed mouth. Please don't hate me! Please don't hate me!

"Here she is . . . Mum, this is Jessica," Jonny attentively strides towards me, placing his loving arm around my waist before we walk towards what appears to be a beaming face of friendliness. So far so good! "Jessica, this is my mum." Jonny proudly introduces us.

His mum has vivid red hair, obviously out of the bottle, but striking nevertheless. It's cut in long layers on top but short and tapered round the ears. Her porcelain complexion along with her pale green eyes can carry off such a bold cut and colour. She certainly makes an impression!

Her sense of style is timelessly classic. She wears tailored black trousers and low-heeled boots paired with a white, fitted three quarter sleeve blouse. The outfit is finished off with a long necklace resting within her cleavage and a large selection of colourful bracelets. She definitely looks younger than her sixty-something years and Jonny has the same defined facial features as his attractive mother. She appears to still be wearing a genuine smile, so yes . . . definitely a good first impression!

"Oh, Jessica, it's so nice to meet you at last." She embraces me like she has known me forever. I let go of Jonny in order to reciprocate her warm and friendly hold.

"It's a lovely surprise to meet you too, Mrs. Riley." I say with warm affection.

"Dear girl, call me Helena. There's honestly no need for such formality with me." She still has hold of my arm and doesn't appear to be letting go any time soon. Maybe she really doesn't hate me?

"Mum saw the headlines this morning and decided to come early." Jonny interrupts.

"The bloody press really does get on my tits, Jessica. When I saw the newspapers this morning, I just knew I had to come. Do they have no bloody shame? Jonny was just telling me it was your bitch of a mother-in-law who told the press about the pregnancy. I bet she's single, isn't she?" I cautiously nod; too stunned to say anything else. Jonny told me his mum was a straight-down-the-line kind of woman who doesn't ever mince her words; I am quickly finding that out for myself. Although she's obviously bemused about the press, her angry rant is almost comedic in her West Country twang.

"Shawn's dad left her about ten years ago," I manage to quietly answer.

"See? What did I say? No one gets that vindictive unless they're not getting enough sex." Helena animatedly shrugs her shoulders.

My cheeks flush. "It was a shock to find out what Catherine did, yes." I have to agree.

Helena's frown is harsh. "She will regret doing that, you mark my words."

Jonny sweetly touches his mum on the arm. I don't know if he's gently trying to persuade her to change the subject, but it lightens the mood somewhat. "Do you want a drink, Mum?"

"I'll have a gin and tonic please, Jonny. All those bloody journalists really do turn me to drink. Don't any of them have homes to bloody go to?" Helena fumes.

"It would seem not . . . I'll get you that drink. What would you like, darling?" Jonny smiles at me. How I have missed his wonderful smile today.

"Just a glass of water, please." Helena throws us both a confused look.

"Jessica is on strong painkillers, Mum, so she's not drinking at the mo." Jonny kindly explains.

"Ahhh, yes, of course. So are you feeling better now, my lovely?" she asks.

"I am, thank you." Jonny brushes the small of my back as he leaves the room. This is it . . . this is where the pretending she likes me, literally stops!

Grabbing a few grapes out of the fruit bowl beside her, Helena asks with a smile. "So how do you like London, Jessica?" Okay . . . is that a real smile she is giving me? Or the 'I'm watching you' kind of smile?

"I haven't really seen any of it yet. I have been recuperating in here. Hopefully I will get to see more of it, just as soon as I am better," I politely answer.

Helena screws her face up. "I'm not a fan, as Jonny will have already told you I expect. Far too many people for my liking, sirens going off all the bloody time and don't even get me started on the smog. For almost a week after every visit, I am still finding smoggy bogeys up my nose!" I can't help but burst out laughing at her comment.

Helena's deadpan face looks back at me, and for a moment, I think I have offended her. Shit! As I'm about to profusely apologise, she joins me in my impromptu laughter.

"I am so pleased you are well, Jessica . . . and that you are both happy. That's why I came. I needed to know Jonny was okay and that you're not letting those fools get you down. I can see they are not . . . and that pleases me." She happily pops another grape into her mouth.

"What pleases you?" Jonny is carrying his mum's gin and tonic and a glass of iced water for me.

As he hands Helena her drink she catches his eye and answers his casual question. "That you are happy."

"I am . . . very happy." Jonny rests his hand on my hip, proudly pulling me into him. God, I love this man! Helena's gaze instantly softens at the sight of us together.

"You are a naturally beautiful girl, Jessica. It's a relief to see all your assets are indeed real. The last girl I saw on Jonny's arm was in the paper and my God, her lips were like dinghies and her breasts were like bouncy castles." Jonny rolls his eyes at his mum's words.

"I have told you both before, Allira was drunk that night. I was only helping her to walk safely in those bloody ridiculous high heels she was wearing," He takes a sip of his Jack Daniels and Coke, heavily shrugging his shoulders. "Why on Earth do women put their feet through such torture?" With a crooked grin, he carries on. "I am actually more concerned by the fact my chivalry has indeed gone unnoticed here. And for the record, she never was my date. There was a big group of us out that night . . . shit! I'm never going to live that damn picture down, am I?" He shakes his head slowly, still wearing his delicious crooked grin.

Helena holds her crystal tumbler near her mouth, tipping it slightly with her wrist before speaking. "No, you won't! However, you have indeed redeemed yourself with Jessica. She is stunning." I feel embarrassed by Helena talking about me as though I am not here. Although she's being lovely and complimentary, I find myself blushing nevertheless. Although I can't deny, I am quietly elated that she thinks I am much more attractive than Miss Tits and Lips!

"Thank you, Helena. Jonny tells me your house is by the sea; how long have you lived there?" A divertive question to steer Helena away from any more talk of my assets!

"The house used to belong to my parents. When they both died, I inherited it. Jonny was conceived there and was born there. It's a very well-loved house." She talks about her home with such great affection, as Jonny often does.

"You're very lucky to live by the sea. It must be so wonderful?" I say, looking across to a still smiling Jonny.

"Nothing beats it, Jessica . . . you must come and see the place." Helena says with an illuminated grin.

"I'd love to."

"So what do your parents make of all that's going on in your life at the moment, Jessica?" She asks with innocent interest.

"Both my parents are dead. Dad was never around; apparently he used to drink a lot. He died when I was three and Mum passed away of ovarian cancer when I was eighteen." It still always hurts to explain why my mother isn't around. I've had eighteen years experience of it, yet the pain never lessens.

"That's tragic, my lovely. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

I solemnly shake my head. "I was an only child."

"Something else you and Jonny have in common then." She smiles.

"So how long are you staying for then, Mum?" Jonny smiles at me with his rescuing eyes. His mum's questions are in no way intrusive, but with everything going on, any deep conversations drain me. Talking about my mother is just another reminder of someone else I have lost.

"I'm only staying a couple of days. I have some of my artwork in a local gallery, so I will need to get back for an exhibition they're doing at the weekend." Helena explains with a smile.

"I'd love to see some of your work," I say brightly.

"Oh, you must come to an exhibition soon," Helena enthusiastically replies.

"What kind of work do you do?" I ask.

Helena thinks for a moment with pursed lips. "I'm not one who likes to be placed into a certain category, Jessica. I paint from the heart. I love to paint the naturalness of all that's around us, capturing the spirit of movement we humans take for granted. The sea has been my creative friend for many years; however I do like to experiment with many sources of inspiration."

"Mum has created landscape paintings using watercolour, pastels and oils. She loves to experiment; in fact a lot of the paintings in this apartment are Mum's." Jonny enthusiastically and proudly points at a couple of the impressive paintings, which surround us in the reception room.

My eyes glance at the beautiful canvases. "I've admired many of the paintings I have seen here, they truly are stunning." I look across at Helena, who is looking at her own paintings with bright eyes.

"Thank you Jessica, that's very kind." Graciously, she smiles.

"So enough chatter, are you both hungry? Mary has cooked red snapper this evening?" I look at a happy Jonny, he clearly loves having his mum around.

"All that travelling has indeed made me hungry and very thirsty, too." Helena holds up her near empty gin and tonic glass to an amused Jonny.

"We will eat in the dining room, Mum. I'll get you another drink, but I'll help Mary first. Okay?" Jonny glances at us both before leaving the room. It's very sweet to watch Jonny playing the attentive host to his dear mum.

"I wish I could indulge in a gin and tonic." I smirk at Helena who puts her arm around me as we walk into the dining room.

"It won't be long until you can, my lovely. I'd offer you a sneaky bit of mine, but Jonny would tell me off." We both giggle. I really think Helena Riley and I are going to get on famously well!

***

Mary prepared a delicious red snapper grilled with lime butter, served with baby potatoes and sautéed vegetables. I had an enjoyable evening watching the natural closeness between Jonny and Helena. She's a spirited woman who has an abundance of stories to tell. She spoke of her life before becoming a mother, how becoming a mother changed her.

She also shared with me the most sweet, and charming stories of when Jonny was a child. He truly has inherited his mother's charisma, passion and earthiness. I now fully understand what Jonny meant when he spoke about how his mum keeps him so grounded. She nurtures him with her experienced guidance and faithful support without trying to change the person that he is. I'm in awe of the touching mutual respect they have for one another. It's a joy to see.

After our wonderful dinner, Helena helps me carry the dishes out to the kitchen whilst Jonny relaxes in the reception room. "You don't need to help me, Helena. Go and relax with Jonny, you haven't come all this way to slave away in the kitchen."

Helena grins. "I have an ulterior motive, Jessica. I wish to talk with you . . . alone."

Shit! I knew it was too good to be true! "Oh, I see." I swallow hard with nerves, looking down at the dirty dishes on the kitchen worktop; anything, just as long as I don't have to look her in the eye.

"Don't look so worried, my lovely. I honestly don't bite." I weakly smile as Helena steps nearer to me. She leans in closer still before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. Her strong perfume of orange blossom, bergamot, musk and orchid is carried on the faint breeze that follows behind her. Enveloping both her hands around mine, she softly speaks, "Thank you, Jessica."

"For what?" I ask with pleasant surprise.

"For making my wonderful son, so happy."

I can't help but blush. Her warm choice of words make me feel so very blessed. "I hope I continue to make him happy. He never fails in making me happy, Helena. These past few days have been so difficult. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him."

"Just keep loving him the way that you are, Jessica. You captivated him from the first moment he saw you. You treat him as a person and not a celebrity. I've seen a lot of fake people who come and go around him, who are only ever with him for their own gain. Then there are those who can't handle the fame side of his life, and abandon him altogether. There is usually no middle ground for those in Jonny's life."

I open up the dishwasher and look over my shoulder at Helena who now has the dirty plates in her hand. I take them from her before speaking. "I think he has all the important people he needs by his side now, though." I start to load it, but Helena stops me. She has a kind yet serious expression begging to be heard.

"That's true, but it has been so hard for him knowing who he can truly trust. He may have this public image and it's an image he takes very seriously, but when he walks off a stage or a film set, he is simply . . . Jonny. Don't ever let the celebrity side of his life affect your relationship, Jessica. He loves you and wants to be with you. I believe you want to be with him too, or you wouldn't be here now. I know how difficult it must be without your daughters, but from what Jonny tells me, you are a wonderful mother. Your girls will eventually realise that and they will one day need you again." Her eyes fall deeper on me, as she thinks for a second. "What I'm trying to say is, you and Jonny have both been to hell and back to get where you are now. Sometimes you will still have days that are going to be bloody hard, but you need to remain strong and remember why you are here.

I believe it's because of the love which now binds you both together . . . don't ever forget that, Jessica." Helena's words of wisdom are almost poetic.

I finish loading the dishwasher, closing its door. I stand up slowly, looking at Helena. "I know it's not going to be all plain sailing, but I love Jonny and I will do anything to hold onto our love. I do miss my girls terribly and now the pregnancy story has gone public, I honestly don't know how they will cope with that." It's a relief to be able to share my worries with Helena. As a mother, she can fully understand my anguish over Lissy and Lottie.

Helena crosses her arms with angry frustration. "That is exactly why I can't get my head around what your mother-in-law has done. She has completely ignored the feelings of her own son, and more so, the feelings of her granddaughters. I would certainly hope she feels very ashamed of herself right now because she only acted out of malicious spite."

I nod gently, looking at my feet. "I never thought she could be so heartless, yet part of me kind of understands why she has done it."

Helena scowls. "Don't you make excuses for her, Jessica. I know things have been awful for everyone involved, but to publicise something so private and tragic is just wrong on so many levels. Her son not only has your betrayal to contend with, but also his own mother's, now."

"I know." I try to swallow down the lump forming in my throat.

Helena apologetically smiles, touching my arm. "When I say betrayal, I don't mean to sound so harsh as I believe you cannot control matters of the heart. I am merely stating how your husband will see things. When Jonny first told me about you, he fought so hard against his feelings because he knew you were married. I know how you tried to fight your feelings too, but ultimately no ring or piece of paper can prevent two people from falling in love. As horrible as it is, it happens and there's not one damn thing you can do about it."

I lean against the kitchen worktop. "I thought I loved Shawn, I really did, but meeting Jonny changed my life. I love him more than anything. He has awoken every sense within me. I feel incomplete without him. I want you to know that, Helena. When I didn't see him for a month, I thought I was going to die of a broken heart," I quietly say, stopping for just a moment. Completely embarrassed by my sudden outpouring, I shyly look down at the floor. "I can't believe I am actually telling you all of this." I say, stunned by my openness with Helena. Her frank and grounded warmth just puts my soul right at ease, a quality I know I can trust.

Helena shakes her head with a small smile. "I'm glad that you feel able to tell me. I can see with my own eyes just how happy you make each other. It won't take long for the rest of the world to see it either. I'm kind of relieved, too; if I'm honest, that I actually do like you, Jessica. I know how much it meant to Jonny that we get on. So can you imagine how awkward it would have been, if we didn't?"

I'm nodding enthusiastically and laughing. Oh, I certainly can imagine! "I thought exactly the same thing. I was scared you would hate me," I admit.

Helena throws her head back with a laugh, clasping her hands together with a clap. "It's a bloody relief all around, then."

"It certainly is; I really do appreciate you not judging me, Helena." I look into her eyes. I'm just so grateful that she sees me for who I am, not who they say I am. Her eyes only look at me with genuine warmth and acceptance.

"Why would I judge someone who has fallen in love with my son? He's a very special person. I'd be more concerned if you hadn't fallen in love with him, Jessica."

I dreamily reply, "He's an incredible person . . . he really is."

Helena takes my hand and places it on my heart. "You may be able to control your thoughts, but you can never control what is in there." I look at her, blinking back my tears as her words touch me deeply, just as her wonderful son has touched my life. She obviously has been a big influence on him and they share many beautiful qualities. Even the way Jonny catches my tears with his thumb, Helena does exactly the same as one slowly falls down my cheek.

"Tears of happiness, I hope?" she whispers.

Right then, I need to be with Jonny. The love I feel for this man has overwhelmed me. I graciously nod, slipping my arm through Helena's; knowing that the man that I love more than I can sometimes comprehend is in the other room waiting for me. Once again, I feel blessed.