The motion of the train does little to appease my self-inflicted nausea. How the hell will I get through this very long day? The trade fair in Kent is always a busy one. Dread fills me to the brim as I think of the noise and having to be overly nice to everyone, when my head is pounding. I feel like I've not slept for three whole days.

Thoughts of my day ahead are gladly interrupted by my mobile.

Morning beautiful ... can't wait to see you. The driver will be picking you up at 3:30 p.m.

Once you are in London, you will pick up Erin in Balham.

Jonny xxxx

I tap in a speedy reply.

I'm soooo excited

Jessica xxxx

The butterflies flutter around in my stomach and my spirits lift at the thought of seeing Jonny at his home. Maybe I will make it through the day after all.

***

As predicted, the Kent fair was busy, tiring and very loud. My professional self did very well, hiding the fact she had a humdinger of a hangover, with cheekbones aching from all the smiling she has done. The relief of being picked up by Jonny's driver is evident as I sit down in the back seat. I mould into it, and a heavy sigh escapes my mouth.

"Are you okay, madam?" The young man driving is looking at me from his rear view mirror. He has very short, dark blond hair with attractive chocolate brown eyes. He's cleanly shaven which only enhances his boyish good looks and he has a very pleasant manner. He seems genuinely courteous and polite. I guess he would have to be if he works for Jonny.

"Call me Jessica, I hate being called madam. It's so bloody formal." I see his eyes crease upwards as he laughs.

"In that case. Are you okay, Jessica?"

"I'm good, thanks. Well, put it this way . . . I am now! It was my birthday yesterday and I've been feeling rather fragile for most of the day." I smile, looking back at him.

The driver winces. "Hangover and work, never a good combination."

I roll my eyes with a smirk. "Tell me about it. Sorry, what's your name?" I ask, leaning slightly forward.

"Simon."

"It has been a long old day, Simon." I wearily tell him, relaxing again in my seat.

"Well, we have a bit of a drive, so just relax, Jessica." Making myself comfy, I look out of the tinted window. The outside world passes me by in one continuous tiring blur. I feel my heavy lids getting heavier and heavier and heavier.

I must have dozed off as some time later, I'm woken up by the sound of Simon's voice, talking on his hands free mobile.

"Okay, we'll get to you in about fifteen minutes, Miss Laurelson." I hear him say.

I do feel a little better for the nap in the car but I think I had better freshen up just a little before Miss Sour Puss graces us with her perfect presence. Digging out my life saving doer upper bag. I find my vanity mirror; my much needed blusher and lip-gloss. I touch up my fading make-up with just a few swishes of blusher upon the apples of my cheeks and a sweep of plum lip gloss over my pale lips. Then I brush my hair, which falls naturally and flirtatiously onto my achy shoulders.

I do feel better, but do I look better? Holding the small round mirror in my outstretched arm so I can see my whole face in its reflection, I'm pleasantly surprised. Jessica Neel, you are restored to glory. I smile to myself.

***

We pull up outside a contemporary double fronted house. Simon gets out. I watch him as he briskly walks up the red-bricked path to the front door of Miss Sour Puss.

I continue to look on as Erin Laurelson confidently comes out of her door, walking down the path towards the car. As she reaches the door, she actually waits for Simon to catch up with her so he can open it for her. I tut to myself, what a complete and utter bitch of a bloody diva! You work for a celebrity; you are not THE celebrity, I inwardly scold her.

There is something about Erin, I just don't like. I want to slap that sour face of hers, if only to change her sullen expression. However, what she lacks in warmth, she makes up for with style.

Her long, light golden blonde hair is in a high chignon. She's wearing a fitted capped sleeve A-line top in gold with black skinny jeans and a sexy pair of patent stiletto heeled platforms. I mean, she's a total babe!

"Hello, Jessica." You can tell it is literally killing her, having to be so nice to me. She speaks like she's about to cough up a bloody fur ball or something.

"Hi Erin, how are you?" I politely ask.

"Very well, thank you." There's an uncomfortable pause. I'm trying to think of something else to say, while she sits there completely motionless, staring straight ahead. I feel like I am sat with a bloody cyborg!

"So how's the family, Jessica?" she eventually asks.

I detect the caustic tone in her voice. I sit there, trying not to rise to her bait. Keep calm Jessica; she's just trying to goad you.

I eventually feel calm enough to answer. "Very well, thanks for asking." My sarcasm is duly noted by her pursed lips.

"Tell me Jessica, what exactly does your husband think of you being Jonny's new play thing?" Simon looks at me from his mirror, we make eye contact. He looks panicked. Does he think there's going to be a nasty cat fight in the back of his posh car?

I think carefully before I answer. Inside, I am so fucking incensed. I want to rip her face off and make her wear it inside out, but I can't lose it. Screaming and shouting at her won't achieve one damn thing.

I coolly respond instead. "I understand you deal with a lot of Jonny's business affairs, but you need to know to stay out of my business, Erin."

"That's a bit of a problem, though. You, Jessica Neel, have become Jonny's business; therefore that now makes you my business." she smugly tells me. Deep breaths Jessica!

I lean forward. "I'm only going to tell you this once, stay out of my business," I slowly inform her, glaring at her with little effect. She continues to just sit there with a punch-worthy sardonic smile on her face. What a complete bitch!

I glance at Simon who faintly smiles at me. I hope the smile is out of respect for the way I have handled the abrasive Miss Laurelson and not a smile of pity.

"Here, you best put these on . . . now!" She thrusts a bag onto my lap. Inside is a blonde wig and Jackie O style sunglasses. I put them on, feeling slightly ridiculous as we sit there in stony silence for the rest of the way. I didn't have to endure the torture for too long, though.

"Here we are, Jessica. This is Mr. Riley's home." Simon pulls up slowly while my heart beats furiously against my breast.

"Thank you, Simon." He gets out of the car and kindly opens the door for me, followed by Erin. I have to admit; I did love the fact that he chose to open the door for me first. Have that, you caustic cow!

Jonny lives in Chelsea, in a beautiful white-terraced town house, which has been split into two prestigious apartments. There's a black wrought iron railing protecting the front of the house with three cascading steps leading up to the glossy black door. A video security system is visible along with a top of the range intercom. I'm feeling nervous and excited. His home is truly stunning from the outside and it's in a very affluent area. The kind of place, I've only ever seen on TV or have read about. It feels like I am walking around in some kind of extravagant dream; I haven't even set foot inside yet.

I'm nervously standing behind Erin as she stands beside the intercom. She looks at me, hesitating to press the button then gestures with her hands to allow me to press it. I feel embarrassed and a little out of my depth, but I wasn't going to let that cow know that.

"By all means Erin, you press the button, please." She smiles forcefully as she presses it. Then we wait a short time before hearing Beef's deep voice asking who it is.

"It's Erin Laurelson and friend." She overly enunciates the 'friend' part. And friend? What a complete bitch! The loud buzz allows us entry.

The hall is cream and spacious. A beautiful wooden, curved stairway leads to Jonny's apartment, but there's also a lift to the right to take people up. Erin and I walk in frosty silence as we step into it. I quickly take off the wig and sunglasses and begin to preen myself, checking my hair and smoothing down my dress. The reality of where I am suddenly hits me. It's so different being here, as this is Jonny. This is his lifestyle; miles apart from mine. Meeting in hotel rooms is neutral territory, so I've never felt as vulnerable as I do right now.

Erin, with her frosty features, continues to ignore me. That's when my panic truly sets in. It suddenly dawns on me that I really am here. There's a strong probability that all of his friends are going to hate me, too? My throat constricts at the thought of feeling alone in a place I am not familiar with, in a room full of people who cannot stand the sight of me; miles away from anything I know, or anyone I can call a friend. Maybe Jonny will realise just how different we really are? He will see just how invisible I am in his world. I never thought it possible after last night, but right now, I'd kill for a bloody drink!

When the lift doors open, all of my fears and heavy weighted thoughts soon evaporate. There stands Jonny. Wearing a wonderful, welcoming and radiant sexy smile on his face. He nods at Erin, who wanders off into another room.

He looks divine in a V-neck, sage coloured cashmere jumper over a white T-shirt and black fitted jeans. The contrast of the green jumper against his warm skin tone and his sexily tousled brown hair enhance the golden flecks in his hazel eyes.

"Hey, Beautiful. God, I've missed you." He rushes up to hold me in his arms. I hold him back so tightly, I almost constrict him. Never before has it felt so good to see him, to finally have him in my arms makes me suddenly feel so emotional.

"Are you okay?" He holds my chin up so he can look directly into my glassy eyes. I have a sudden and overwhelming feeling of longing for this beautiful man before me.

"I've missed you, that's all." I tell him sweetly, with emotional blue eyes.

"That's good to hear, Dimples, but you are here now and I want you to relax, be spoilt and have a good time."

"I'm sure I will." I lean into him; I need to have his lips on mine. He kisses me softly. Our bodies merge as one with our tender hello kiss. I just love how he smells and tastes, it's comforting and reassuring.

"I'll give you the grand tour of this place and then you can get ready. Everyone will be arriving at 8:00 p.m. so you have plenty of time." He excitedly starts to show me around his lavish home, all three beautiful floors of it.

The high ceilings give the impression of more space, and although, most rooms are spacious, they are comfortably sized and homely. The walls are white with solid oak floors throughout. The furnishings and furniture give the home sumptuous depth. Jonny has added splashes of vibrant colour, whether it's from the furniture itself; such as the huge chenille sofas in bright colours, or the different coloured rugs in many of the rooms. The two ground floor reception rooms have large flat screen TVs and the most spectacular marble fireplaces.

The third room on the ground floor is a stunning dining room, which boasts a large round table and chairs to seat ten people. The magnificent room has a huge crystal chandelier hanging as a wonderful centrepiece over the spherical glass table. It is quite simply beautiful.

Different paintings and photographs hang in all the right places. The kitchen is impressively large with an island in the middle. White walls with high gloss units in an off-white colour, yet the matte black accessories on the stainless steel worktops add a striking balance to the minimalistic decor.

The four bedrooms situated on the middle floor look heavenly in coordinated white bed linen. They're all fitted with the largest mirrored wardrobes I have ever seen and they all have lavish en suite bathrooms. The floors are carpeted in a sumptuous cream carpet with the softest looking deep pile rugs, white in colour, all around the beds; the kind which make you want to lie down and snuggle into them.

The two guest bathrooms within the apartment are all in glossy white marble with the shiniest silver taps. They have lavish walk in showers and spa baths; large mirrors grace a focal wall to give the illusion of even more space.

On the upper floor, there's a small library and a study decorated wall-to-wall with awards and photographs of other celebrities with Jonny. The gym up there has an outside-decked area built onto it which includes a hot tub. The view up there is quite simply, breath taking; the whole house is breath taking. Jonny Riley is indeed, breath taking.

"Do you like it, Jessica?" Jonny asks.

We stand beside each other looking out at the beautiful view below us, resting against the stone wall, which surrounds the outside decked area. "I'm totally speechless. Everything is stunning, it really is, Jonny," I say in dazed wonderment.

Jonny looks at me and smiles. "I remember when I first came to look at this place. I was just like you, open mouthed and speechless."

"How long have you lived here?"

"About eighteen months, now. I needed somewhere safer to live. It's handy too, as it's close to a lot of places I need to be or get to. It does get lonely though, tinkering about by myself in this big old place."

"I can't imagine you ever getting lonely, you're always so busy and usually surrounded by people such as Beef and Erin." I tell him.

"It's not the same though, is it?" He looks out at the city and for a moment I actually feel his loneliness. I take his hand and clasp it into mine.

"You're not alone though, are you? I'm here."

"Yes, you are. Even if it's only for a little while." He embraces me into his chest, placing a loving kiss on my head. He then blows away a heavy and thoughtful breath into my hair. "Right, birthday girl, I have a surprise for you. Come and see."

Together, we quickly walk down to one of the bedrooms. He holds the door open for me, gently ushering me in. I see a well-dressed woman, in her forties with the kindest face. She stands next to a rail of clothes, accessories and shoes. I look at Jonny with a rather confused frown.

He's smiling at me like a big kid, pulling me further into the room. "Tonight you have your very own personal shopper. Anna here will help you choose something for tonight. She'll also do your hair if you want her to." Jonny beams.

"Seriously, you've done all this for me?" I ask with wide eyes.

"I wanted to treat you. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I love it! Thank you . . . thank you." I run up and kiss him all over his face and neck, forgetting Anna is right there. I embarrassingly realise I am publicly displaying my over zealous affection right in front of her. I shyly look down at the floor before stepping away from Jonny, much to his amusement.

"Take your time and enjoy." He blows me a kiss as he leaves the room. Anna closes the door behind him with a kind smile.

"Okay, Mrs. Neel, come and take a look at the rail. Let's get you trying on some fabulous clothes."

"Please, call me Jessica." She smiles sweetly. Her grey eyes show such genuine kindness, helping me to instantly feel at ease with her.

There are just so many fabulously different clothes to choose from, I hardly know where to begin. Fortunately Anna is great at her job.

"So, what sort of look are you going for tonight, Jessica? To be honest with you. I think you already look fabulous in that dress, but Mr. Riley wants you to be spoiled, so spoiled you'll be," she tells me with a sweet smile.

"There's so much to choose from, though." I declare in amazement, completely overwhelmed with all the clothes and accessories that surround me.

"Why don't you just choose what jumps out at you and we'll go from there?" Anna kindly tries to coax me.

I browse the rail. Familiarising myself with different length dresses, beautiful tops and skirts, trousers that are boot-cut or skinny fit. Then there are all the accessories and shoes in different styles and colours. I feel like I have died and gone to home shopper's heaven.

I think for a moment. "I want to look lovely, but not too tarty or over the top, if you know what I mean?" I say with crossed arms and a pensive frown.

"I do, Jessica. How about a prom style dress, as they are elegant yet cutesy?"

She holds up a couple. One is a strapless, deep brown taffeta dress with a heart shaped bodice, gathered waistband and full short skirt. The other is a black and baby pink chiffon dress with a cross front. Both are indeed stunning. I decide to just grab a handful of hangers and enjoy trying them all on.

I go into the en suite to undress. I'm happily trying on different outfits when I notice something on my back. I move up close to the large mirror and see that I have a few bite marks on my lower back; when I look down at my ass I have a couple on there, too. I have a sudden flashback of me in my drunken stupor. Shawn is having sex with me from behind. He's excited about the fact the girls are at his mum's, and I'm too drunk to feel anything.

He can get overly passionate with biting me when highly aroused. He's done it once before when we were on holiday in Portugal. I was so bloody angry. I didn't speak to him for two days. Fuck! Fuck and another fuck!

My heart goes to my mouth. How the hell will I explain this to Jonny? I hear Anna gently knocking on the door.

"Let's have a look then, Jessica." I open the door. She takes one look at me and can tell there is something terribly wrong. "Whatever is the matter? Don't you like any of the outfits?" she asks sadly.

I can't bring my shocked eyes to even look at her. I just shake my head in quiet disbelief. "It's not that, Anna."

"What is it then?"

I lower the black towel to ashamedly show her my back. Her sympathetic expression tells me that she now fully understands my big dilemma. I can barely speak. "Jonny will flip if he sees this." I tell her solemnly.

"Maybe he won't notice them?" Anna takes a closer look.

I quickly pull the towel back up. "I don't know if I'll be able to hide them from him, possibly in the dark but what about in the morning?"

She blinks slowly. "That I don't know, Jessica. Maybe keep a dressing gown on?" Her kind sympathetic face makes me want to open up to her.

"You know the situation between Jonny and I, don't you Anna?"

She nods gently. "Yes, I do."

"My husband did this last night. He got a bit carried away."

She tilts her head and weakly smiles. "Certainly looks that way."

I protectively tighten the towel around my body. "You probably think I am a complete bitch, don't you?"

She laughs dismissively. "Believe me sweetheart, after nineteen years in this business, nothing surprises me anymore."

I'm grateful for her diplomatic reply. "I expect you have a few tales to tell." I say with a raised brow.

She busily tidies the clothes rail, respectful of the garments that hang before her. "I never tell. That would be unprofessional and wrong, Jessica."

I try to help by putting a dress on a hanger. "I think I should tell Jonny about the bite marks." I say, handing her the just hung dress .

"He may not notice if you keep them covered up," she innocently replies. I try to stop a faint smile from forming across my face. She's obviously unaware of just how close Jonny gets to me when we are in bed and we are, most certainly, always naked. Maybe she's right, though. Maybe he won't notice the marks? Who are you trying to kid, Jessica?

"Thanks for listening, Anna. I really appreciate it."

"My pleasure, but we still need to get you ready, don't we? So get trying on some outfits . . . just avoid the lower backed ones!" I nod with a thankful smile.

I try to put the bite marks out of my mind and start enjoying myself. Today has been hard enough. I'm so pleased to be here with Jonny, in his home. So I intend to make the most of this precious time with him. Maybe there will be a right time to tell him about them later?

Feeling a little less anxious. I choose my outfit. I decide to go for a one shouldered with drape side, knee length, Grecian style dress in a pale shimmery blue with three inch, silver strappy heels. It's divine!

Anna pins my hair up, leaving a few seductive tendrils hanging down. My make-up is minimal except for smoky eyes with the darkest black mascara. I look at my transformation. After my shitty day, I'm delighted with it.

"Oh, Anna, you've made me feel so much better. I can't thank you enough." I say excitedly, checking myself out in the mirror.

"You look simply stunning," she says. I proudly smile back at her.

Anna and I continue to chat for a while until I hear Jonny at the door.

"How are you getting on in there?" he asks. I quickly open the door. Jonny looks at me with his sexy mouth slightly parted. His eyes are loving and wide. He walks in, taking hold of both my hands. "You look amazing, Dimples."

"You'll have to thank Anna as I was useless choosing." I shyly giggle.

Jonny looks over at her. "Thanks, Anna. Please make sure that anything you thought Jessica looked great in, is hung up in that wardrobe, won't you?"

"Yes, Mr. Riley." Anna nods sweetly at me.

I look on in amazement at Jonny and then at Anna. I'm now clapping my hands, jumping up and down like a silly fool.

"Seriously? I can't believe you've just done that. Thank you for my birthday presents, Jonny." I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him slowly and softly, not caring this time that Anna is our audience. Jonny takes my hand and pulls me along the hallway, towards another door. He quickly opens it, never letting go of me. I look around the bedroom and although its decor is much the same as the other, this one is bigger and has a huge TV on the wall. It's obviously Jonny's room.

In a low, husky tone he whispers to me, "I needed to get you alone before everyone arrives." He starts to kiss me all over my face and neck as his hands lift up my new dress. I'm pinned against the door as his one hand ventures inside my thong, pushing it to the side. His finger then ventures into my wet and ready sex. I begin to groan with pleasure as he slips two fingers in, pushing them in and then out, reaching into places I've never been touched before.

I feel myself weaken at the knees. Jonny lifts my right leg, resting it on his hip; then unbuttons his jeans to reveal his impressive erection. He penetrates me without hesitation. I sigh at having him inside of me, gripping his broad shoulders for dear life as we hurriedly fuck.

All of my weighted worries disperse because he's inside of me, filling me with all that he is. Nothing or no one can hurt me now.

"Jessica, I just had to be inside of you." he growls against me. With gyrating hips, he picks up the pace. My groin pushes in hard to meet his fervent thrusts. A combination of deep pushes and hard relentless pumps fuse our rampant bodies. His moans of pleasure push me over my climactic mountain; my orgasm is quick, intense and deep.

The tensing of my muscles then takes Jonny. His rapid breathing and hot breaths on my ear, combined with him driving at speed into me, makes me feel the wave of yet another rising orgasm beginning to peak.

I manage to cry out his name. He thrusts so hard my head is banging on the door. I have every single inch of him inside of me. . . . taking me.

"Jess . . . oh, shit . . . I'm coming." He fucks me hard until he finally explodes inside of me with immense force. We're panting and throbbing as one. Jonny rests his perspiring head onto my shoulder, breathing heavily on my neck. We're too breathless to talk or move. We stand there together, entwined and enjoying the aftershocks of our frantic fuck.

His sweaty lips kiss my exposed shoulder. "No one makes me feel like you do, Jessica."

"I should hope not." I smile, resting my head on his heated chest.

"I can't tell you how much I have missed you. Even with all the things which go on in my life each day, all I want is you, Jessica."

"I want you, too. I mean that, Jonny." I hold him close. Everything feels so perfect that part of me doesn't want to ever let him go.

"We had better sort ourselves out before everyone arrives." Jonny hands me a towel before pulling away from me.

"Do I have 'just fucked' smudged eyes now?" I ask him.

"No, you don't," he kisses my nose. "You look perfect." Just how much does this man make my heart swell? I'm at my happiest when I am with him. Wait! What did I just say to myself? I'm at my happiest when I am with him? That's when it hits me. All becomes crystal clear while an inner sense of calm takes hold of me. I finally realise just how much I am in love with Jonny.

*HEY MY LOVELY WATTSTERS....FEELING CONFLICTED??
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