⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
This chapter contains slightly sexual activities toward the end. Read at your own risk.

Chapter 7: She's Not Worth It

I spun on my heel to face her. "Vanessa."

She put on her fakest smile. "How've you been? Since, you know..." She mimicked a pout and held her heart (or whatever it was inside the left side of her chest because it was certainly not that). "your wittle heart was bwoken."

Don't hit her, don't hit her, don't hit her.

"I'm fine. How about you?" I didn't care. I was just trying to be polite. Even if all I wanted to do was break one of her bones and slap her silly with it.

"I'm doing alright. Especially since James finally popped the question."

I stilled.

I caught them only three days ago and they're already engaged? Unless, this had been going on for longer than I thought. How long had they been sleeping together? A year? Two years?

My knees felt weak, but I couldn't collapse and sob in front of her. She'd most likely film it and show it to James' family to tell them how pathetic my life was.

"Wow." My voice cracked. I cleared my throat. To prevent myself from running away with tears in my eyes, I distracted myself by playing with a hangnail on my thumb. "Congratulations. I'm very happy for you."

Lie.

I hope you rot in hell.

"Thanks." Vanessa taunted me with the diamond ring that was bigger than mine. She'd always been one for expensive things. It was no wonder James bought her a big ass diamond ring that was bigger than my fist.

Vanessa took my hand in mine and a gasp left her mouth. She was eyeing the rock on my finger and pouted her lips once again.

If she pouted her lips in a mocking manner one more time, I'd personally cut them off. "Awww, look at how tiny this ring is compared to mine. Your fiancé must be a loser."

She casually folded her fingers in front of her and rocked back and forth on her heels. "Who's the lucky man?"

"None of your fucking business," Kiley chimed in, gently guiding me farther in line. Food didn't even sound good to me anymore. The smell of Vanessa's floral perfume was making me want to vomit. You could tell Kiley was angry by her face that was as red as Rudolph's nose and her clenched jaw.

Vanessa was lucky looks couldn't kill. "You've already messed up Bailey's relationship so why don't you shut the hell up and get the hell out of my sight?"

Vanessa replied with a scoff and a shake of her head at first, but then she wore a sarcastic smile.

She wiggled her fingers in a wave, but she made sure to flaunt her ring in my face one more time. Tears were pooling in my eyes, but I looked away to not give her the satisfaction.

We were going to go our separate ways. I was going to disregard my growling stomach and rejoin the boys at the table and Vanessa was, hopefully, going to exit through the doors of the mall. We should never cross paths again after this. That was until Oliver ran up to Kiley with a drawing on a napkin in his hand.

"Look, mommy! Look what Uncle James helped me draw."

I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a frustrated sigh. It was hopeless. The kid was so loud, his voice bounced off the high ceilings and even caught the attention of strangers. If Vanessa was all the way at the exit, she still would've been able to hear him.

Opening my eyes, I found Vanessa marching her way back with her eyes trained on Sammy who was trying to appear as though he wasn't watching. Keyword there being 'trying'.

Vanessa's devilish grin grew wider the longer her eyes darted toward Sammy, me, Oliver then Kiley. I just knew she was putting the pieces together. She was going to make keeping this secret a hell of a lot harder.

"No way. Sammy is pretending to be James because you were too chicken to tell your parents what happened?"

A warmth permeated throughout my cheeks. Sammy was giving her the death stare as she burst out laughing while Kiley looked like she would explode at her at any minute. Stranger's turned their heads at us, some of them stuffing their faces with their food as they watched the scene unfold.

"Just wait until I tell your parents about this at the party tomorrow."

Heh?

"You say what now?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? Your parents invited my mom and I to your Christmas party. Said it'd be a good time for us to..." She put her fingers up to form air quotes. "talk things out." She dropped her hands to her side and exhaled a scoff. "Your mom was always a naive bitch."

My fist clenched tighter and I visualized me beating her to the point where she was rushed to the emergency room. She could sleep with my boyfriend, call me pathetic and laugh at me all she wanted, but she had no right to bring my mother into this.

This was it. I was about to pound her into the ground. But before I could take a swing at her, Kiley dragged me out of the line and back to the table with the boys.

"She's not worth it," Kylie whispered into my ear. She was rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me down, but all I wanted to do was get out of there.

"Give me your keys."

"What? Why?"

I didn't have time to explain. Vanessa was already leaving the food court and the mall through the nearest exit. I grabbed Kiley's purse and fished for her keys until my finger felt a hoop and pulled them out.

I took long strides to the exit where Vanessa left through and noticed her black BMW reversing out of the parking lot. I heard my sister yelling at me, but my main focus was getting home.

And fast.

***

"Bailey, slow the hell down!" Kiley kept tugging on my arm, but despite her requests, I swung the door open and sat in the driver's seat, starting the engine before anyone could close their doors.

"Bailey, what the hell are you doing?"

Kiley's voice blended into the background as my eyes were solely focused on the road. I scanned the cars in front of me for a familiar black car but I couldn't see anything. I would be screwed if Vanessa spilled the beans already. My hands were white-knuckling the steering wheel the whole time until I ran into a red stoplight. I slammed the steering wheel with my fist and screamed a curse word. Damn slow ass drivers.

"Good. We're at a red light. Now, you have time to tell us what the hell is going on."

"I have to hurry up and get home."

"Why?"

"I need to tell mom and dad the truth before that bitch does. It's bad enough we're lying to mom, but to have my ex best friend tell her the truth and not us, she'd kill us."

"I understand that, but you need to think of people other than yourself. What if we crash? Because you're speeding." She poked me in the chest.

"Our lives are more important than telling mom the truth before Vanessa. So, slow the hell down before the cops pull us over."

I finally went easier on the gas pedal, but my mind was still going a million miles a minute. What if Vanessa showed up at my house already?

What if she took the faster route? Why didn't I take the faster route? How is mom gonna react? If she killed me, what would she use? The knife or the gun?

Five minutes later, we drove into the neighborhood and when we got closer to the house, I spotted her car parked in our driveway.

Dammit!

I threw my car door open and stormed inside until I felt the weight of a hand land on my wrist. I turned to see Sammy whose eyes flicked from the front door to mine. "Hey."

I instantly relaxed looking into Sammy's eyes. On instinct, I wrapped my arms around his torso and laid my head on his chest.

We may still be outside with snow crunching beneath our shoes, but it felt warm in his arms. His body warmth reminded me of the contained flames in the fireplace, the sound of the sparks flying free from the orange and red fire.

"It's gonna be okay. Whether she told your parents or not, everything will be fine," he whispered in my ear.

His words calmed me down and all those thoughts that were occupying my brain mere seconds ago dissipated into nothing.

I kept repeating his words over and over again in my head, approaching the front door. We got inside and I slowly stepped towards the kitchen where I heard mom's and Vanessa's voice.

"Mama."

Mom's face lit up when she saw me. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding in when I saw how happy she was. However, a small part of me was confused. My face scrunched up and my brows furrowed at her smile that reached her eyes.

I peeked at Vanessa who wore a fake smile at me. She had the chance to ruin my relationship with mom. Why didn't she tell her? Unless she was playing mind games with me.

"Miss Vanessa over here said she was in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by to say how excited she is for the party tomorrow."

I arched a brow and moved my eyes between mom and Vanessa who winked at me in a taunting manner.

God, I wanted to wring her little neck. Just seeing her face brought back the anger I felt at the mall. "Is that all she told you?"

Mom looked taken aback, but nodded nonetheless. I took a deep breath. It broke my heart to do this but I had to come clean. She had to hear it from me before Vanessa blurted it out out of nowhere. I pulled out the chair next to mom and took a seat. My hands were trembling and my palms were sweating. I knew this wasn't going to end well. "Good. Because mom, I need to tell you something."

"Well, what is it, love? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. But there's something you need to know."

She gestured for me to go on. I decided that I should rip the bandaid off. No beating around the bush. I had to tell her that I lied. I was sure she'd understand. Or at least I hoped she would. "I've been—"

"wondering why the hell you invited Vanessa and her mom to the party tomorrow. You know we don't like her. Hell, that's an understatement. We hate her."

"Kiley Rose Underwood! How dare you be disrespectful to our guest!"

Vanessa sat back in her chair with her arms folded. She was enjoying the bickering that she caused and took the bowl of popcorn that mom set out for her in her lap to stuff her face. God, please let her choke.

"I don't care! Don't you see she's manipulating you? Acting all sweet and kind when you know how she treated Bailey in high school. She took everything she wanted for herself."

"Maybe there's a good reason behind that, lo—"

"There's no good reason for what she did."

I couldn't stand being in here for another second. Between Vanessa being here and Kiley and mom bickering, I was starting to get a migraine.

No one noticed me as I stormed off. Finally having the privacy of my bedroom, I slammed the door shut. I thought about everything that conspired today as I plopped on my bed.

Running into Vanessa.

Racing home to get here before her.

And, of course, the one that hurt the most.

Finding out about Vanessa's and James' engagement when that should've been us. That should've been us getting engaged. After the second year, I started leaving hints that I wanted him to propose.

I left my laptop open with a website for engagement rings on the screen for him to see. I told him my ring size. I watched movies with wedding scenes in them and made him watch it with me when the scene started.

And now, to hear that he was engaged to her and not me, made me rethink our entire relationship. They'd clearly been together long enough to get engaged. Had they been seeing each other since the start of my relationship with him?

I heard a soft knock at the door. I still heard mom and Kiley yelling at each other. This time, with Vanessa getting in the middle of it. There was only one person it could be.

He opened the door and lightly shut it behind him. Wordlessly, he took a seat at the edge of my bed and gestured for me to lay my head on his lap.

The moment my head made contact with his lap, I broke. The tears that were accumulating in my eyes spilled onto his jeans and my sobs were muffled.

When I gave my heart to James, I thought I was putting it in safe hands. I never thought he'd end up doing more harm than good to it. I never thought I'd be crying over him.

This was why I never dated in high school. I didn't want to put my heart on the line like this.

I felt kisses on my cheek and fingers touching my skin as they moved the hair out of my face. My sobs stopped and all I was crying about was forgotten.

I sat up and stared deep into his eyes. His flannel was off and his biceps were too big for his v-neck. Then there were his bow-shaped lips. Pink and plump.

The urge to jump him returned and this time, I wasn't sure if I could avoid it. His lavender-scented cologne filled my nostrils.

I leaned in and bit his bottom lip. His lips felt smooth, like chapstick recently touched the skin. Our breaths were mingled together. My fingers curled around the material of his shirt and I pulled him closer, closing the distance between our lips. One kiss turned into another. And another. His soft kisses were sweet, but I wanted more. I wanted all of him. I found the neckline of his shirt and threw it onto the floor, whimpering at his hands under my sweater and against my skin.

He pushed me away.

Not too hard. Just enough to break the kiss.

What was happening?

Doesn't he want me?

Why didn't he want me?

"What is it?" I was starting to panic. He didn't want me. He wanted Vanessa. Just like everyone else. He was also gonna leave me for her and I knew it. "Is it Vanessa? Do you want her instead?"

"No." He didn't hesitate. His voice was stern. He was shaking his head over and over and a sigh of relief broke out of my lips. "No, I promise you. That's not it. She sleeps around and I have no respect for women like that. They're trash." His hands took both of mine.

"You're upset. You're crying. Taking advantage of you being vulnerable...it doesn't feel right. I'd feel guilty." He took his shirt from the floor and slid it back on, my eyes still on his chest as if I'd develop x-ray vision within the next few seconds.

"I'd want our first time to be something special. Not like this." He cupped my cheek. My face leaned into the warmth of his hand and a corner of my lips twitched upward at the touch.

He was a gentleman. If it was possible, it made me fall in love with him even more.