Evan didn't talk to Connor for the next few days. He sent a text telling Connor he didn't hate him, but it received no answer. He didn't have the courage to leave a voicemail or email, so he left it alone. They had never fought before.

Evan knew that Connor had a couple of disorders like depression and bipolar disorder, but he had never really seen them in action. He didn't even know if that night's events were caused by them or the alcohol. What he did know was that Connor was Evan's only friend, so he was alone for a while. When his mom was at work or classes, he was alone, and he refused to talk to her when she was there. He was not going to have the conversation about being gay anytime soon. He wasn't completely sure himself.

It was then, sinking into a probable depression, that Evan received a text from an unknown number

Unknown: Is this Evan Hansen?

TreeBoy: Yeah, who's this?

Unknown: I'm Connor's mother

TreeBoy: Is Connor okay?

420Mom: Actually, that's why I'm texting you.

420Mom: Maybe you should just come over

Yeah, that never means anything good.

Evan made his way to the Murphys' house, which was a few blocks away. When he got there, he was greeted by Mr. Murphy, who let him in and gestured for him to sit in the living room with them. Looking around, he saw all of the Murphys. Except for Connor.

Evan's eyes widened.

"Connor... wanted you to have this," Mrs. Murphy said, handing Evan a piece of paper, a handwritten paragraph on it.

"Y'know we barely ever heard you name. Almost like you were just close acquaintances, maybe," Mr. Murphy started. "And then we saw it. Dear Evan Hansen." Evan looked down. Sure enough, at the beginning of the page in messy print, it said his name.

"So, he gave this to you? W-when? Is...." Evan wanted to ask if Connor was okay. He saw the looks in their eyes. Even Zoe, who Evan could never picture sad, looked somber. Something had to be wrong.

"We didn't know you two were even friends," Mr. Murphy continued. That was an understatement. They had literally kissed just a few nights ago. "And then we see this letter. It seems to suggest pretty clearly that you and Connor were... or at least for Connor, that he thought of you as...." As what? Boyfriends? Best friends? Mr. Murphy was beating around the bush. Talking about Connor in past tense, like he didn't even exist, like he had faded out of existence.

"I mean it's addressed to you; he wrote it to you." Evan stared at the note, feeling too nauseous to read past the first three words.

"These are the words he wanted to share with you," Mrs. Murphy added.

"His last words." Evan felt himself on the verge of tears, not for the first time that day.

Zoe mumbled something.

"Zoe, speak up," Mrs. Murphy said to her daughter.

"You say that like you already accept that he'll die. He's in a fucking coma."

"Zoe, don't talk to your mother like that!" Evan was starting to feel awkward, but, hey, his only friend wasn't dead, so that's a plus.

I'm honestly grinding out chapters here