This is a short chapter but the latest chapter of my vent book/the latest announcements explain why.

"Heidi, Evan was a little worried about your reaction to what actually happened. Connor sort of... tried to kill himself. Again." Evan sent Zoe a grateful smile, but Heidi's face fell.

"Evan, sweetie, you could have told me that." She regained her bright composure. Evan bit his lip. "Evan?"

Silence.

"Ev, what's wrong?"

"So did I," Evan mumbled.

"What was that?" Heidi asked, face falling again. She obviously heard him.

"I should step out," Zoe said standing up. She left the room.

"I tried to kill myself too," Evan said, still not looking away from Connor.

"Ev... you know I'm always here for you."

"I know."

"Why... why did you do it?" Evan looked into her eyes. She wasn't sad or angry. She just looked scared.

"I couldn't find another foothold." Evan took a deep breath.

"So you let go? That's... that's how you broke your arm?"

"Let me finish. I just... you care so much about me."

"Of course I do, I'm your mother!" Evan flinched when she raised her voice. He closed his eyes and continued.

"But you could've had a whole amazing life. And I came along, and I ruined it." Evan looked up at her. "You found the love of your fucking life!"

Heidi gasped a little, but said nothing. "But then he left, and it is all because of me, isn't it? He left because of me! And now... and now all you do is work so that I can have a good life, Mom, I want you to have a good life." He looked back down at Connor. "And now... now I might lose Connor too."

"It's not your fault that Connor is dead." Evan put his hand in his pocket.

"He said it himself." He pulled out a piece of paper. "If it wasn't my fault, why does this say it was?"

A suicide note. "Dear Evan Hansen, I'm sorry you didn't love me. Now you can... you can..." He couldn't bring himself to read any further without crying.

Heidi provided just what he needed: A Mom Hug (TM)

I want A Mom Hug (TM) right now but my mom is asleep );

I'll probably manage

I'm trying hard to keep my mind off of some shit right now so I'm on Wattpad

~ Sea