In a brilliant room filled with calming sound of the autumn wind, we were all seated here. The great summer sunlight pours in without any forgiveness. There were all sorts of people about the room from someone who looks like a yoga instructor to a banker type. We were all here for the same reason. I closed my eyes from the white board with the title of the class on it. I tried not to take it all in one moment. But I cannot stop seeing it from the side of my glasses. The words written in gentle curvy letters:  Grieving and Acceptance 101. 

In this uncomfortable metal chair, I got to see the therapist walk us through introductions. It was fair enough with the yoga instructor struggling to smile as she gave her name. The banker said everything with a stone cold deliverance. I curled my fingers around the chair as I saw them come around toward me. My bomber jacket rested my name tag as I held my breath. I moved my hands to straighten out my jeans as they came closer to making me talk. 

It had been well over since everything else occurred. But I will not have any rest until I confront it head on. I must do this for more then myself. I combed my raven hair from my face as more names and reasons were said. Stupid long hair, I ought to have stuck with a pixie cut. But Doran advised me on trying something new. I swelled up with the memories of the last year. I narrowed my eyes as I remembered Boris as he kissed my forehead. I felt my fingers with their roughness touching my lips as remembered what I told him.

The brilliant room and pleasant pictures of the forest almost drown out everything bad that had happened. I restlessly moved my feet under my chair. The old injuries stilled flared up every now and then when I sit still too long.  I rubbed my palm again and felt the scar from the passenger door handle. I closed my eyes as I could still make out the outline of Boris. He sat there at the wheel as he screamed at me in a panic and pushed me out of the car.  He drove off like a madman as he couldn't accept what I had to say.

I felt my chest stiffen up as I opened my eyes again. My friends and family send me here because they care. I needed to me here. I adjusted my glasses the perky therapist with his cool voice reached me, "Will you please tell us about yourself?" 

I peered down at my hands. I hadn't realized that I was crying. I swallowed, "My name is Nellie Hobbs.  Please call me, Nel. I am here as I lost one of the most important persons in my life."