Naomi sat at the kitchen table with Shivanna, eating waffles much like she had the first time her heart had gone through the wringer. Today, they'd topped them with frozen berries they'd picked together in July, back when Naomi's relationship was uncomplicated. She sighed.

"Not even the waffles are cheering you up?" Shivanna asked with a concerned tone.

Naomi tapped her socked feet against the linoleum flooring. "I feel so restless like I don't know what to do or what I want."

Shivanna set down her utensils. "Have you thought about hearing Kieran out? You don't need to decide before you two talk. Remember how it felt when Greg spent a week thinking about your asexuality without talking to you about it?"

It had sealed her choice to end their relationship, but she was the one with the decision to make here. Although Greg had likely thought the same during that conversation.

Would Kieran reconsider his feelings if she waited too long?

Her stomach shifted like she'd consumed rotting fish instead of the fluffy waffles. Despite how he kept secrets from her, she liked him a lot. He'd always respected and celebrated her asexuality, he'd poured effort into impressing and getting to know her, and it had all felt genuine. Maybe Shivanna had a point. Distance would make this hurt worse.

"I'll see if he's free today."

"It can be over the phone, or if you want to invite him here, that's cool. I'll be around." Shivanna's art summer camps had wrapped up, and now she was prepping for her upcoming school year with September nearing.

"Thanks."

After they finished eating and cleaning up, Naomi took Cleo to the backyard and grabbed her cell. She sat in a lounger chair, and the dog jumped up beside her. Cleo's soft fur and warmth comforted Naomi's jitters.

After she found Kieran in her contacts, she called him. His voice lacked its usual enthusiasm as he said, "Hey."

Had she pissed him off or was he still upset, like he'd been in the parking lot? His text had seemed forgiving, but she'd not replied to it.

"Hi, how are you?" she asked out of reflex.

"Mediocre, and you?"

"Not great either. I thought we should talk after... everything. Did you want to come over, or would you rather speak on the phone?"

Kieran was silent for longer than comfortable, making the nerve endings on her skin prickle like they were charged with static electricity.

"If you're planning on getting back together with your ex, I'd rather not drive there to find out. You can just tell me."

His statement stung. She'd always been faithful and reassured him she had no feelings for Greg. Was he trying to push her away now that she knew the truth?

But he wouldn't have tried to persuade her at work or texted her if that were the case. Kieran had admitted he worried about Greg in her life, but her silence had been about Kieran's lies, not her past relationship.

"He's not part of this at all."

Cleo licked Naomi's hand with her warm, scratchy tongue.

"He's a huge part of this. If it weren't for him, Jake and I could have told you about this yesterday in a much less upsetting way."

"You really were going to tell me?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I wanted you to know I loved you first, then tell you... it's difficult to share."

His words hit her like a glacial wind gust to the face. She didn't miss the 'loved' instead of 'love'. Whether he'd done it intentionally, she couldn't tell, nor did she have the courage to ask. Her feelings weren't as clear as they'd been two days ago either, but hearing him echo that made her heart clench up.

Her voice came out shaky. "I wish that you'd told me instead of him."

"Me too."

Silence hung between them, and it bugged her that she couldn't read his reactions. This all felt odd and off between them. But if speaking to him confirmed anything, it was that she missed him, regardless of the secret that he'd kept from her.

"Do you want to come over?"

"Only if Jake can be there too. I'm not good at talking about what happened. It brings up a lot of terrible memories."

The image of Kieran outside of her work, breaking down, tugged at her heart. She bit hard on her bottom lip. That night, she had walked away while he was in pain. She had been in shock, but he'd also been there for her countless times. "He's welcome too."

"I can text you when we leave." His tone was flat.

"Ki..." Was she supposed to call him Kieran or Matt? "I'm sorry for leaving you after I found out."

The line was quiet, and Naomi assumed she'd discovered what had pissed him off. But she had a right to be upset with him too. He had given her a reason to doubt his love and sincerity. His secret was shocking, and he'd never even alluded to it. But she didn't want to have that conversation over the phone, and she suspected he didn't either.

Since he didn't respond, she added, "You two can come by anytime. I'll be around all day."

"Okay, I'll talk to Jake and see when he's free. See you later."

"Later," she said, the words stinging. No 'I miss you'. No 'I love you' or 'Can't want to see you'. Dread weighed her down like an anchor. The line clicked off, and Cleo snuggled closer to Naomi. Naomi squeezed her tight and stroked her soft fur. It almost seemed like she would join the ranks of the brokenhearted again.

Now that it was more likely, she realized she couldn't lose Kieran.

Kieran and Jake arrived an hour later. Jake greeted both her and Shivanna with a smile and Kieran tried to do the same, but his action seemed forced. He wore an old t-shirt she'd never seen and a pair of worn jeans. Cleo trotted up to him and awaited the attention he gave her with a genuine grin. Stroking her fur relaxed him enough that Naomi went for a hug when he stood. She sensed he was holding back, but after a moment, they both melted into the gesture, and he stroked her back. Relief flooded her body.

As they pulled away, Jake asked how they wanted to proceed, speak alone or as a group first. Naomi figured it was better to get all the cards out on the table first and then patch up their chipped hearts. She asked Shivanna to stay too, as it would help to have a second set of eyes on Kieran to see if she was misinterpreting his unease or if he was that cold toward her now.

Jake looked around the room at the three of them, settling his gaze on his brother. "Kieran, would you like to tell them about Katy? Who she was, the future you planned together."

It surprised Naomi that Jake still called his brother by his fake name. Although Jake was very entrenched in his routines, so maybe it was his practice now.

"Do they need to hear that?" Kieran asked.

"It's helpful to give them context and show how important she was to you."

Kieran nodded like a child following their parent's instructions. "Katy was... She..." He looked at Jake.

"Start with how you met." Jake's voice was far more gentle than it ever was with Kieran.

Kieran took a deep breath and ran his hands along his jeans. "Katy..." He blinked away tears. "Katy worked in a bakery near my apartment. At first, I went for the baking, but I kept going back to talk to her. She was this... she brightened your day with her smile and kind words, and the way she cared about each person who walked through the door."

He smiled weakly at Jake through his tears, and Jake acknowledged him by returning the gesture and nodding.

"She knew each customer's favourite items, what days and times we came in, and after going there for a month, she'd have a special box tucked aside for me. Each time she'd sneak in a surprise and shyly explain how she thought I'd like it because of the other items I raved about. I always tried it first and told her how much I liked it. She was such a great baker I never had to lie."

His eyes shone both with adoration and pain. He had said he loved both Naomi and Katy in very different ways. It seemed like he still loved her, and Naomi couldn't imagine him hurting her like he'd been accused of.

"It took two months to build up the nerve to ask her out. Back then, I was terrified of rejection and that I was misreading her signals. But she talked to me longer than anyone else. My selections always looked better than what was on display, and if I ever missed one of my regular days, she'd notice and check if everything was alright when I returned."

He inhaled a shaky breath and wiped away his tears. No accusation lurked in his words, but Naomi sensed the comparison. Katy would have believed and comforted him in Naomi's position, and Naomi ran.

Kieran was composing himself, so Jake stepped in. "We were raised by two parents more invested in their egos and bickering than their children. Kieran loved and looked out for me, taking the blame and that cruel woman's verbal lashings, standing up for me, and finding the best ways a kid could to accommodate my needs. It took me much longer to do the same for him. I deeply regret that."

"You had to get out of that house and survive. I expected nothing. I'm so proud of everything you've done," Kieran's voice cracked, his love pouring through as it had for Katy earlier.

It warmed Naomi's heart to see their close bond, and surviving a childhood like that would create that. She hated that they'd both been through that, and Kieran had lost the woman he loved on top of that.

"Luckily, he had Katy... do you want me to continue?" Jake asked.

Kieran nodded and leaned his head further into the couch cushions with a long exhalation.

"He and Katy were together for three years. After a year, they moved into a shared apartment, and after two, they started planning their future. It included a house on the coast near her family, just outside of Halifax. They found and had almost purchased one before her accident."

Naomi had read some of those details in the articles, but from Jake and with Kieran in pain beside her, it hit her differently. She mourned for his loss. Unsure of whether to reach out for his hand, she paused, and Cleo jumped up on his lap instead, putting a content smile on his face.

"The woman who gave birth to us tried to control any person in her radius. She latched onto Kieran and hated Katy. Katy loved him, and that threatened that unstable narcissist. We grew up being manipulated and shamed for not being unwavering in our gratefulness and adoration. When we didn't live up to her unrealistic expectations, she'd punish us with neglect, humiliation, and verbal abuse. So, she did everything in her power to drive Katy away from Kieran, blackmail, lying, and threatening her livelihood. Their life would have been unlivable in Kingston."

Jake sat up straight in the orange armchair and met Naomi's gaze. "When Katy died, Kieran was as devastated as her family, if not more so. Katy was his life, his partner, the person who cared about him in all the ways he deserved. No one called it murder in the beginning. The thought didn't even cross Katy's family's mind. They flew out to be with him and deal with the aftermath."

Kieran tensed.

"Understandably, Kieran still wanted to move to Halifax. Even without Katy, that was his dream, and her family encouraged the decision. Until our mother felt threatened and placed an anonymous tip to the police, which opened an entire investigation that destroyed his life. She sat there at his side, supporting him and getting sick satisfaction out of being needed again, while her lies took his friends, his job, and Katy's family away from him."

Naomi's blood ran cold. Had Kieran's mother been that horrible? Given all the other devastating things she'd done, it fit, but it shocked Naomi to the core.

"That's horrifying," Shivanna said.

"She's a terrible person." Jake inhaled and his hard expression relaxed. "I told Kieran to change his name and that we needed to move, but not what she had done. He didn't deserve to live in the chaos that she made of his life, nor did I want to risk her tracking us down again. Kieran wanted to tell you yesterday. I'd advocated for earlier, but he'd said you both needed more time. I suppose, given your reaction, he was right about the timing."

Everything they'd both said seemed sincere, and Naomi's head was spinning with all this information. "Can Kieran and I talk alone?"

Shivanna nodded, and she and Jake left for her art studio.

Kieran remained a distance away from her on the couch, glancing at Cleo and stroking her head.

"Kieran—Do I call you that?" Jake did, but... Everything about this situation felt off.

He sighed, still not making eye contact. "I don't know anymore."

"Would you prefer Mathieu?"

"Matt."

"Matt," the word sat oddly on her tongue, but it suited him. "Are you... That's... Where do we start?"

He ran his hands over his jeans. "I should have told you about this earlier, but I feared it would be the difference between you choosing your ex over me."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" His gaze sought hers, and it was charged with pain and anger, although none transferred to his tone. "That's what you did when you found out."

"I defended you. That's why he and I were fighting when you walked up, but you also hid this from me, and it was shocking. It didn't matter who was there, Greg, Shivanna, Ian, Marc, I would have left with anyone. Greg was the one there."

"Just like I feared."

Naomi's face grew warm. She wasn't the only one in the wrong here. "You kept your past a secret!"

"We both have secrets. I never hurt anyone. I was wrongly accused and proven innocent, but the second murder accusation appears, people disregard the verdict and assume I'm a criminal." His face was red and his breaths came out ragged.

"I didn't know that when you approached us."

"But I told you I was innocent. You didn't believe that? After all this time together?" His eyes were glassy.

"My first reaction was to defend you, but I saw the article about the accusation." She took a deep breath. "Ki-Matt, we don't experience the world in the same way. When we were at the club, how many times had you been touched and heard things that people wanted to do to your body before we met?"

Matt swallowed. "A few times."

"By Brinny, the woman you were flirting with, right?"

He nodded.

"At least half a dozen guys who weren't Greg felt entitled to do that to me. When I pick a running route, I have to do a mental inventory of recent assaults and consider how well-lit the paths are so that I don't 'make a bad choice' and get myself assaulted. I have been drugged and nearly assaulted before when I was out having fun with my friends. I walked away from that situation shaken, but okay, and didn't report it, so that guy is still out there. Even guys who are reported don't always get charged, so it's difficult to dismiss my fears when there's proof that there was a trial and that you admit part of it is true. I believe you now, but you can't be mad at me for needing time to learn more about the situation and process the news."

Matt was quiet, assessing her with his lips pressed together. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Were you okay after...?"

"Yeah, my friends found me in time, and I don't remember it happening."

"Stil..."

"It's part of why the news set me on edge. But what Jake told us, and what you've been through with your mom... It's horrific. I get why it was hard to talk about. And now you understand why I panicked. I hope we can move past it together."

Matt just nodded.

"Do you think you'll ever confront her about it?"

"The silence is enough of a message. Anything else would open me up to more abuse. I called my dad, though."

"How did that go?"

Matt bit his lip, and wrinkle lines formed on his forehead. Naomi felt for him. While he didn't sound as awful as his mom, the man stood by as his wife mistreated his children.

"Pretty well. My French is rusty, but he didn't mind."

"Did you two talk about the trial?"

Kieran nodded. "He regrets not getting more involved then and when we were kids and wants to make up for it."

"That's good. Must feel nice."

His first genuine smile of the day appeared. "It does."

Matt rubbed his feet together. "I'm going out to visit him for a few weeks."

He'd mentioned on their first date that he wanted to have a better relationship with him, so it made sense, but the timing left her uneasy. She swallowed that feeling because they'd fought enough already.

"That's great. You must both be excited."

Matt nodded then looked from her to the coffee table. "While I'm out there, it'd be good for us to take a break."

All the blood drained from her face, and her skin turned to ice. This couldn't be happening. They'd both shared their grievances and connected about his dad. Why did he want a break?

Cleo leapt up and trotted out of the room as if she sensed the impending drama.

Naomi connected better with Matt than she had with anyone. Even in her worst moments, he loved and accepted her. She had to fight for this and make up for how she'd hurt him.

"No, I'm sorry for leaving with Greg, but that part of my life is over. It's clear he can't be my friend without romantic motives, so I'm done with any of his involvement in my life. I promise. Not friends, not acquaintances, nothing."

"It's not that."

"Then what? You said on the phone that you didn't want to drive here for me to break up with you. I thought you wanted this because I do," her words came out weakly. "I love you."

Matt reached out and took her hand for the first time today. His touch was soothing, but she suspected his words wouldn't be.

"I didn't plan this, but after everything that happened, I need time to heal alone. When you left, it hurt me in terrifying ways. I want to love you that much, but doing that showed me I haven't been okay since Katy died. Being with you made it fade, but the second you showed doubts, it destroyed me."

That pain in his voice killed her. He'd always been so good to her, and she'd... destroyed him. "I'm so sorry, Matt. I really love you, more than I've ever loved anyone." Tears clung to her eyes.

"I should be able to handle a little uncertainty, but if I can't, it tells me I need help. I don't want to put you through what Jake endured. It shook him up this weekend, and he's still affected. It's not a break forever, but it's what I need right now."

Naomi nodded, despite the tears growing in her eyes. She pulled her knees to her chest as the tears fell like a rainstorm. Matt came to her side to stroke her back. She apologized repeatedly regardless of him telling her she neededn't.

One question plagued her. The answer could destroy her, but not knowing would do the same.

"Will you still want us when you're better?"

His words were soft. "I will."

She tumbled into his arms and clung to him, wishing her love could heal him, but knowing it wouldn't.

Thanks for your patience with these irregular updates. I imagine this won't be anyone's favourite chapter. I have one more chapter to close off this arc of the story that I'll post next weekend. I plan to take a bit of a break from the series after that and potentially write a third act to close off the series.

If you're looking for something a bit more upbeat to read in the meantime I have started posting my NaNoWriMo project "Flight Risk".  Audrey, a Canadian dive instructor meets an interesting travel companion on her flight home from her second home in Indonesia for her friend's wedding. If you like travel stories, adventures in nature, fake dating, ace-rep, and romantic comedies you should enjoy it :)