On Saturday evening, despite the sun lurking well above the horizon, Kieran lay in bed. He'd tumbled into it on Friday night after his brother had picked him up and had scarcely left it all day. He hadn't eaten or drank anything either, as much as Jake checked in and tried to force it on him. Tonight, his headache matched his heartache.

The knocking on his door intensified the throbbing in his skull, and he pulled the navy comforter higher over his head to muffle the offending sound.

"Kieran," Jake's voice rang out.

Kieran stayed still, planning on pretending to be asleep, which would deter Jake as he wouldn't enter without permission. The drawn blinds and dark room would help his case.

"Brinny's on the phone and says it's urgent."

Kieran was too overwhelmed to handle whatever romantic meltdown she was having right now. He just wanted to disappear.

"It's about Naomi," Jake added with a hopeful lilt to his last word.

That almost got Kieran to move until he recalled how she had left him when the world caved beneath his feet. He had no desire to speak to her, despite how much his heart ached with each inhalation of her fruity scent on his pillow. He should change the pillowcase, but he struggled to do that too.

Jake's footsteps retreated after a minute, departing then pausing before disappearing. Kieran breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the comforter's softness and warmth.

Thirty minutes later, hurried footsteps rushed to his door, followed by aggressive knocking.

"Kieran, get up. We need to fix this!" Brinny's firm tone carried inside.

As he remained silent and still, Jake's tense voice said, "No, you can't—" but the door swung open.

Brinny stepped over a tray of food left at the doorway and flicked on the light. As Kieran's eyes adjusted to the switch, Jake's curled shoulders and fidgeting hands caught his attention.

"Sorry, I tried to stop her," he said before leaning down to pick up the tray with unsteady hands and darting away.

Kieran wanted to tell Jake this wasn't his fault, but that took energy he didn't have today.

Brinny folded her arms in front of her blue sweater and said, "Kier, you need to come with me and talk to Naomi."

He shook his head. That would only end in more pain or rejection.

"If you care about your relationship, you need to do this now." Brinny's tone had never been more firm, but he still maintained his choice.

"She left me, Brin." Speaking irritated his dry throat. Jake reappeared with a glass of water that seemed more appealing now. Kieran sipped it to build up the courage to voice yesterday's events. He set the glass on the bedside table and sighed. "I broke down about Katy, and Naomi abandoned me for her ex."

"That's shitty. But you also hid an entire murder trial from the woman you love. That's not nothing either."

His heart thumped in his chest as his eyes widened. Brinny knew, yet she'd come here to fight for his happiness. A tear tickled his eye, then another until he was shaking and crying into his comforter. She sat beside him, alternating between gently stroking his back and hugging him from behind.

"We'll figure this out, Kier. I promise. When you're ready." Her earlier pushiness had evaporated from her tone.

The question remained, did he want to? Was it worth the risk of being rejected twice over? Regardless of the answer, at least he had a genuine friend. Someone who saw the untrue accusation for the falsity it was and who unquestionably trusted him. He hadn't suspected that person would be Brinny, but they had grown a lot closer.

"Thanks for not..." His bottom lip trembled, and he met her blue-eyed gaze. "You're a good friend."

She squeezed his hand. "So are you."

Once he'd calmed down, Brinny gave him more space. "Naomi's the one who told me."

He tensed. "Did she share it on social media or something?" His heart raced. Would he lose his job again? What about the few friends he'd made?

"No, she called me to ask about it. She's upset you never told her."

While it'd been wrong to keep from her, he had planned on telling her today. Her douchebag ex beat him to it. "I'm upset she chose her fucking ex over me."

"Would she be calling me about this if that was more than a panic reaction?"

That gave him a little hope, but not enough to reach out to her again. She still hadn't responded to his message, and that spoke volumes. He'd given her a piece of his heart, and she tossed it in the sun to rot.

***

After Brinny left, Jake, who must have departed sometime earlier, appeared at Kieran's doorway, knocking on the frame. "Can I come in?"

Kieran nodded, not wanting his silence to keep negatively affecting his brother, especially since he was one of two people who supported him through these accusations that continued to haunt him.

Jake stared at his thin black socks, rubbing his feet together. "I'm sorry I let her in the apartment. I didn't know what else to do."

"It helped, thank you." Kieran had no desire to punish his brother with his misery. That was a page out of their mother's book.

Jake nodded without making eye contact. "Can I make you a meal? It can be anything you want."

"Sure, I can help."

Kieran's legs struggled to support him as he rose from the bed. Pins of shooting pain danced within as blood returned to them. He told Jake he'd meet him there, so he could change out of the clothes he'd worn to meet Naomi yesterday. He'd reassured himself earlier in the week that she'd react okay to the news if he approached it the correct way. What a joke. It turned out his anxiety was right the whole time.

Each step toward the kitchen was slow and laboured, but he made it there. He set his hands on the cold, dark countertop. "So, what's on the menu tonight?"

Jake's sadness-filled brown eyes met Kieran's with a look of defeat. "Whatever you'll eat."

Jake had been cooking meals all day and knocking gently at his door to tell Kieran they were ready. But each time, Kieran remained in bed without opening the door. Guilt was overtaking the anger and pain in his body.

"Whatever you think is best."

"And will you eat it? There's frozen pizza if you want one."

He shook his head. That would only remind him of Naomi. "Would you make me something off the app?"

Jake sighed and scratched at his bare chin. "You hate the app."

"Some days it's not so bad."

Jake's lips turned into a forced smile. "At least it's not a total loss."

It was bad enough that Kieran was devastated, but he refused to let it rub off on his brother. "Plenty of people love your app. You have many users and positive reviews."

"Just not the person I created it for. I can never find the right way to reach you, like trying to respect your space to process when you needed support that Brinny, of all people, offered you."

Kieran studied his brother. "You created the app for me?"

Jake nodded.

"Why?" While he was vocal about the benefits of exercise and proper nutrition, Jake had never shamed Kieran for his size.

"In Kingston, you were so... the man you became after the trial was not my brother. My brother is a fighter. He's selfless and determined. He can do anything."

Jake's words brought tears to Kieran's eyes. He wasn't sure that he'd ever viewed himself in that light. But he had protected Jake growing up because no one else would, and he didn't deserve the way their mother especially treated him.

"But after the trial, you... it hurt to see you like that. Seeing Mom's selfishness and psychosis destroy you. I kept thinking, if I hadn't left Kingston or if I'd returned sooner, I could have stopped her." He took a few breaths and looked at Kieran. His hands trembled at his sides.

"I researched ways to help with depression. You weren't open to therapy after the trial and what you revealed after our name change came with risks, but studies said that proper nutrition and exercising had very beneficial effects on your mental health. I thought if I at least encouraged you to do that, my brother would return." The pain in Jake's voice brought Kieran back to their childhood in Kingston.

Fuck, how many snide comments had Kieran made about the app and healthy eating over the years? He could really be an asshole.

"I'm sorry I didn't appreciate it like I should have."

Jake shook his head. "It's not your fault. I wish I understood what you need like your friends do."

"The only reason I have the strength to have friendships like that is because you supported me. You were the only one through the whole thing. Nothing anyone does will ever make me forget that. Do you want to know what I loved about Naomi early in our relationship? That you two got along so well. No matter how my life changes, you'll be in it, and I'll always need you, brother."

Jake nodded as his eyes glassed up.

"Pick whatever meal from the app you think will help me the most."

Jake smiled weakly and opened the fridge to draw out leafy greens, a whole fish, onion and pepper. Kieran grabbed a knife and cutting board to help him prep leafy greens while Jake prepared the fish with the precision of a surgeon. The act of quietly cooking and eating with someone who cared about him this much lifted a weight off his chest.

Once they'd finished eating the meal that tasted pretty decent aside from the bitter greens, Kieran asked. "What did you mean when you mentioned Mom earlier?" Their mother had initially been reluctant to support him but came around not long after the accusation and fought for him through the trial.

Jake sighed and readjusted his utensils. "I kept it from you because so many people had treated you horribly. I didn't want to add to that pain, but you also deserve to know."

"Know what?"

"You must recall how the anonymous tip about you turned Katy's accident into a murder case against you?"

It was almost impossible to forget. The officers had plenty of questions in the beginning, especially given that he and Katy were alone at her time of death, but it seemed like they believed the real chain of events and that his grief was sincere. Even Katy's family had stayed at his side, consoling him as they tried to untangle the webs of the upcoming house purchase, life insurance, and funeral arrangements.

"Our mother made that tip."

Kieran scrunched his nose. "That's impossible. She supported me throughout the trial."

"But before the accusation, you still planned to move to Halifax, even after Katy's death. She wanted to stop you."

Kieran tensed. He recalled her passive-aggressive jokes about him abandoning her even after Katy passed, but Jake had to be wrong. "Mom wouldn't have done something that would have sent me to prison."

Jake tapped his fingers on the wooden table. "I have proof that was inadmissible in court because of how I obtained it and how they said she may be protecting herself, but I can show you if you'd like. Keep in mind how cruel she is. If you're not ready for it today, that's fine."

"Show me."

After Jake clicked away on his device, Kieran's phone chimed with a new message with an attached file. It contained a collection of e-mails from their mother to a man she must have been seeing then. Jake had highlighted sections in various colours. Kieran skimmed the yellow text.

'Ungrateful bastard,' 'abandoning me,' and 'teach him a lesson' all stood out. The words hit him in the chest, especially given that she thought that about him while he suffered. That she had zero compassion. Had any of her reassurances been sincere?

"In the pink section, she admits going to the police station to file a report about you intimidating her repeatedly and how she feared for Katy often. She mentioned you might be cheating."

"Intimidate her how?"

"In reality, because you were ready to leave her behind as you should have, given her toxicity. In her eyes, through physical proximity, a controlling nature, a volatile temper and subtle threats. She was speaking about herself and not you."

Kieran couldn't read anymore. He was ready to vomit. Never in his life had he done anything but support his family. The only time he stood up to her was to defend Katy or Jake when his mother was being unjustly harsh.

This was his family. He'd known his mom was flawed, and he'd loved her despite it, but to see how little she thought of him as a person, that she could ruin his life just to control him. How could someone ever do that to their child, let alone when they'd suffered their worst loss? His limbs were iron, and he was ready to fuse to the floor.

"That's the main reason we changed our names and left. It was the only way to get away."

Kieran was almost afraid to ask his next question. "And Dad?"

"He had no involvement besides checking in on us during the trial out of genuine concern. I have kept tabs on his contact information if you want to speak to him. If you tell him about this, I imagine he'll believe it straight away and wouldn't breathe a word of your new life to that manipulative witch."

"And her?"

"She's been fired several times and arrested and released for separate incidents of drunk driving and minor assault. She's still living in Ontario but lost the house."

Kieran wasn't sure how to feel about the news. He had lost so much of his life because of her. Katy's family had stopped speaking to him and thought he was a murderer. The house was gone, his career, his long-term friends. After the year he endured the trial, he'd spent the next two rebuilding his life in Winnipeg only for the mess she created to upend his life again.

"Please don't let this destroy what you have with Naomi. I know it hurts that she left you there. But we both knew this would shock her. When you're together, it's like having you back at your best. I might not need a relationship, but it vastly improves your quality of life. Naomi's not a bad person. She's just processing. Don't give up yet."

Kieran would give her more space and see if she reached out. But in the meantime, he planned to talk to his dad to make sense of the mess his mother had created in his life.

***

(English translations in the in-line comments)

An hour later, he dialled his dad's number and listened for each ring, contemplating how to explain his two years of silence. All he got was an automated response from a voicemail service, but it was for Marcel Tremblay.

"Allo, Papa, c'est Mathieu, ton fils." Was it silly to remind his dad he was his son? He could have other Mathieu's in his life. Kieran chewed on his lip. He couldn't start spilling his guts in a voicemail. Best to keep it casual. He'd apologize for his silence, tell his dad he was alright, and leave a callback number. "Désolé de ne pas t'avoir contacté depuis longtemps. J'suis correct, et tu peux me joindre à ce numéro, si tu veux. Merci."

Kieran tidied up his room, making his bed and gathering clothes. As the room looked more inviting, and he got the window open to air it out, his phone rang.

M. Tremblay.

Initials that matched Kieran's old identity too.

He lept for his cell, nearly knocking it off the desk. He was out of breath just answering it, prompting his dad to think something was wrong.

"Non, Papa." Kieran sighed. Perhaps it was a lie that things were okay. "But it would take an eternity to explain it."

"It's been over two years since we last spoke. I'm overdue to 'ear about your life."

Kieran took a deep breath and got everything off his chest, the relationship and recent implosion with Naomi, his job, and Jake's revelation about their mother. It was an over-share for someone he only talked to sporadically, but his dad seemed attentive the entire time.

"Câlisse," Marcel swore. "Si j'aurais su..."

"I didn't even know until tonight. Jake or Jay just told me."

"Another name change."

"For both of us. After what Mom did, Jay was worried she'd do more damage, so we changed them and moved."

"Comprenable. And now what do I call you?"

Despite responding to the name, Kieran still didn't feel like him. "Dans mon coeur, c'est Mathieu, but I changed my name to Kieran."

"Are you 'appy?"

That question weighed him down. For two months, he had been. "I was, but I'm scared it's over."

"You always 'ave a place 'ere with us if you need un p'tit peu de repos."

The rest sounded nice. "Jay might enjoy the space."

"'E is welcome, et ta blonde, Naomi, aussi." His dad's accent made the vowels in her name dance from mid to low to high tones more dramatically than usual.

Kieran wasn't sure if he could still call her his girlfriend. He'd been keeping secrets from her, and she got pissed off and fled with her ex. He was unsure what stung more, the silence, her choosing Greg, or that she left Kieran at his most vulnerable. Those weren't the actions of someone who loved him, although neither was hiding this bombshell of a past. They'd both rushed into this head-on because they connected so well, but perhaps it'd been a mistake. Jake had warned him from the beginning to slow down.

"And if ever you need a fresh start, there is no shortage of work in la belle province. Especially if you've kept up your certification, we can easily 'ire you. We 'ave a few large projects coming up aussi."

"Merci, Papa."

"It's the least I can do." Silence hung on the line between them. "Tu me manques beaucoup, mon p'tit gars."

Kieran chuckled as it'd been years since he'd surpassed his father in height and size, but he still used the nickname they did back when they'd all lived under the same roof.

"Tu me manques aussi, Papa. Je te rappelleras bientôt." Kieran meant both as he'd always missed his dad and now that Kieran had broken the silence, he wanted to speak to him more regularly.

"Looking forward to it, mon fils."

As Kieran hung up, an overwhelming warmth flowed through his chest. It felt so good to be who he was and to stop hiding. He would call his dad back soon, and he longed to visit. It was the first time since the confrontation Friday evening that he was looking forward to something, which made him realize he wasn't looking forward to talking to Naomi again.

Câlisse.