Sorry for the long wait guys.

Kihyun widened his eyes as he suddenly felt Shownu's lips against his. It was fast and somewhat sloppy. He could taste the bitter flavor of alcohol on his mouth, and now smell it so strongly off of him. The daydreams of fireworks and butterflies slowly faded from his mind, seeming like silly childhood thoughts from so long ago.

For as long as he could remember he'd longed to kiss Shownu, to feel his lips between his own...
But never did he imagine it'd be like this...

The kiss wasn't pleasant to him at all and Shownu showed no signs of affection with it. Instead of beating with nerves Kihyun felt his heart drop and was washed over with a strange sense of sadness. He turned his head breaking their lips apart, but Shownu brought him closer and kissed him again. "Shownu..." Kihyun muffled through his lips getting his hands free and pushing the older male away from him. "Shownu!" He shouted lightly.

"Hmm?" Shownu grunted, his eyes falling shut as he suddenly fell forward, his head landing on Kihyun's shoulder and body going limp.

Kihyun checked to find him completely knocked out. He pushed him off of him a bit more aggressively then he meant, causing him to fall back onto the mattress with another grunt, but not wake up. Kihyun then stood from the bed quickly feeling the sadness mix with another wave of intense emotion, this time anger. He watched his longtime crush with piercing eyes he never thought he'd have towards him before sharply turning away and leaving the room, practically slamming the door behind him.

He sniffled lightly wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve just now noticing the tears that were threatening to break from his eyelids. He held them back the best he could as he pulled out his phone and texted his, Jooheon, and Hyungwon's group chat.

Kihyunie: where are you guys..?
I want to leave.

As the few minutes passed he began to comprehend more of what just happened. He felt his bottom lip shake a bit and the pain in his chest made him almost feel sick to his stomach. He was so confused on whether he was sad or angry or something new entirely.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was what heartbreak felt like.

He sucked in a few hard breaths, trying to keep himself calm. He managed to compose himself a bit and wiped the few tears from his cheeks. Just until I can leave... he repeated in his mind as he headed downstairs to find his friends who weren't answering.

He tried to hide his face from the mass crowd of people, who were slowly dwindling, as he looked around the house but couldn't see his friends anywhere. He moved to the kitchen, which was more empty, but again didn't see them. Where the hell are they? He pulled out his phone deciding to call Jooheon first. He heard it begin to ring and then moved the phone away from his ear as he heard a familiar ringtone coming from the food pantry to his right. He opened it to find Jooheon inside with someone.

"Kihyun??" Jooheon asked awkwardly shuffling away from the person.

On closer inspection Kihyun noticed the other male was Minhyuk, Shownu and wonho's other friend.

"Wh-what did you call me for?" Jooheon asked fixing a few stray pieces of his hair and he nervously glanced to Minhyuk who was seemingly re-buttoning the first few buttons on his shirt with an amused smile.

"I texted the group chat. I've been looking for you. What're you doing—You know what— never mind, can we please just leave." Kihyun explained feeling a rush of emotions come back as he tried to speak.

"Sure what's wrong?" A concerned tone crept into Jooheon's voice.

"Can we please just look for Hyungwon and leave first?" Kihyun asked.

"Of course, um... Minhyuk-" Honey started.

"I'll see you later." The older stated for him. "Go ahead."

"Lets go..." Kihyun stated as they left the area together.

-&-

After a while of searching for Hyungwon, texting, and calling him to no prevail the two had just left, figuring he had already gotten home somehow. Normally Jooheon would've been more concerned but he was more worried about how Kihyun was acting. He knew it was rare for his friend to be so openly upset, even if he wasn't showing it all.

"Okay, my folks say it's okay for you to stay the night." Jooheon stated as he walked into his bedroom to find Kihyun sitting on his bed with a pillow tightly in his arms. "Did you call your mom?" He then asked sitting down next to him.

Kihyun nodded to him slowly. "Thanks Joo..."

"Of course." Honey replied shifting a bit and looking at his friend semi-anxiously. When he was met with only silence he decided he should try talking first. "Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

Kihyun suddenly felt all the emotions flood back and buried his chin into the pillow sniffling as he tried but failed to hold back the tears.

"Kihyun?" Jooheon widened his eyes in shock, it was rare that he saw his friend cry. Still he placed a hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly. "What is it?"

"Shownu He-" Kihyun was cut off as he took a sharp inhale. He paused a moment. "Shownu kissed me."

"Huh??" Honey asked. "But... isn't that a good thing?"

Kihyun shook his head a bit violently. "No! Cause he was drunk out of his mind." He sniffled a bit feeling a slight anger spark again. "The way he kissed me was like it didn't even matter who I was, I was just there, the one available. There were no good feelings at all, and it was gross and sloppy and tasted like alcohol. And when I pulled away he tried to kiss me again until I pushed him away and he passed out. It wasn't romantic, Hell it didn't even feel like he liked me, and he didn't even ask... like that was my first kiss... and it was horrible!"

"I'm sorry Kihyun... Did he do anything else?" Jooheon asked.

"No but it was enough..." Kihyun trailed off feeling the anger disperse as he was able to say it out loud. "I just... I've liked him for so long, and on the rare chance I ever imagined I would have a moment with him, I thought it'd be more... magical? I don't know, it's stupid, I'm being a baby." He hid his face. "I guess I got my expectations up too high."

"Kihyun... it's not stupid, and you're not being a baby. It was a jerk move for him to force a kiss on you, even if he was drunk." Honey put his arm around his friend more properly. "And everyone has expectations like that when they like someone... You have a right to feel let down."

"It just hurts." Kihyun felt himself finally let go, sobbing lightly into his friend's pillow. "Why does it have to hurt so bad?"

"Kihyun..." Jooheon pulled him into a proper hug now, hoping to calm him as his body shook with his cries. "It gonna be okay..."

Kihyun leaned into his friend, feeling at least a little more relieved to let it out.

-&-

The next Monday at school Kihyun had been trying his best to act like normal again. Before Hyungwon and his tutoring session with the new underclassman Chnagkhyun, Jooheon had been hovering around asking if he was okay. He stated he was fine and asked him not to say anything around Hyungwon. He had enough to worry about with his Wonho drama.

Now however Kihyun was dreading his life because it was free period and he had to go to his sports club. The same one Shownu was definitely going to be at. He hadn't had much of a problem avoiding the older all day, but now he was nervous about seeing him again. In all honesty, he didn't want to see him, which was so different from what he felt before. His feelings were still there, but now along with them came the memory of Shownu's sloppy drunk kiss as well as a piercing feeling to his chest

The club was meeting on the soccer field, since the P.E. Class was using the track, and Kihyun's feet seemed to drag as he walked there. Luckily once there he didn't see Shownu and quickly moved to blend into the crowd.

"Alright!" The coach shouted starting to give instructions.

Honestly Kihyun didn't listen to a second of it He was too busy watching every angle, praying not to see who he was trying to avoid.

"Kihyun!" The coach suddenly called his name.

"Huh?? Sorry coach! What is it?" The small boy literally jumped back into focus.

"Go with your group to storage shed A to empty it." The coach pointed toward the group who was walking away.

"Ah, Okay. Sorry." He bowed quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, before jogging after the group. Across the field he saw Shownu look back at him, but quickly hid behind his group members to avoid contact. Damnit the one thing I try to do is not draw attention to myself and I fail. He let out a quiet but long sigh. This is gonna be a lot harder than I though.

-&-

Kihyun was helping his group empty the storage shed and was so invested in his work he almost didn't see Shownu approaching him. Why is he walking over?? Kihyun quick think of an excuse to walk away. And yet he couldn't, it was as if his feet were suddenly stuck to the ground like concrete had dried around them.

"Kihyun-" Shownu was cut off by a voice calling across the field.

"Can someone help me with these soccer nets!"

"Coming!!" Kihyun took all his energy and sprinted towards the person without second though, leaving Shownu behind. He knew he was probably being to obvious, but the fear of what would happen in that conversation took over him. He glanced back, worried Shownu would follow him, but he didn't. The older simply turned around and walked back toward the school building with his head hanging.

Kihyun ignored the pang of guilt inside him at how sad the other had looked and tried to focus on helping his other club mate. What's wrong with me? He asked himself. It's not like I'm the one who forced a kiss on someone, why should I feel bad? He let out another sigh.

Why did everything have to get so damn complicated...?

-&-

Kihyun felt oddly tired as he walked to his locker to start and gather his things for his next class. He looked at the inside of the small metal door at the few things hanging on it. A picture of him Hyungwon and Jooheon when they graduated from middle school, a ribbon he'd won at a music recital and other small things. But what his eyes lingered on was the small paper from his freshman orientation.

His name and student ID was on it as well as his home room, but what was really important to him was the name his peer mentor had signed at the time: Son Shownu.

He smiled a bit thinking back to that time when he and his friends were just freshmen. Hyungwon and Jooheon had luckily been set in the same group, but Kihyun had ended up on his own. He was a lot more shy back then, and to say he was a nervous wreck was downsizing. Here he was supposed to do welcoming activities with a bunch of students he didn't even know, he remembered being so nervous he was shaking the whole time.

But things changed when one particular senior walked up to him. He still remember his slight smile, and the tone of voice he'd spoke in.

"Hi, you're Yoo Kihyun right? I'm Son Shownu, your senior mentor. I'll be the one helping you through your orientation."

Kihyun was taken aback instantly. He couldn't believe this guys who was quite big and stoic could have such a friendly smile, and speak so softly... His nerves had diminished and was replaced by a warm feeling spreading in his chest. Shownu had brought him an instant sense of relief. And by the end of orientation Kihyun knew his feelings had  moved from respect for his senior, to a small crush. One that only began to grow over the next few years...

"Kihyun."

A voice broke him out of his memory and he quickly slammed his locker to hide what he'd been staring at. "Shownu?" His breath caught in his throat as he said the name. He looked at the older with slightly wide eyes and felt himself tense up.

Shownu let out a small breath, taking half a step back. He seemed saddened by his scared reaction. "Can we talk for a minute?"

Kihyun relaxed slightly, not meeting his eyes. "Sure.... um.... about what?"

"The party... I was drunk..." He started before there was a slight pause so he decided to continue. "Honestly, I don't remember much other than that, but I remember you were there, and you took me to my room..." he trailed off as if trying to piece things together.

"And you forced a kiss on me." Kihyun stated bluntly. He didn't know where the sudden bolt of confidence came from but it went almost as quickly as it appeared.

"Right. I am so sorry. Really, I don't know what came over me, or why, I'm not usually like that, drunk or not and- you know what it doesn't matter, there's no excuse. I hurt you, and I'm just really really sorry." He bowed to him.

Kihyun suddenly looked around quickly hoping nobody was still around. "Shownu, don't do that." He pulled him back up slightly. "You're the senior, people will think it's weird."

"It isn't weird. No matter the age, I wronged you, I should do anything I can to make it up to you." The older responded seriously.

Kihyun couldn't help but feel his heart jump slightly at his words. He was reminded again of the kind and polite Shownu he met at freshman orientation. "Okay Okay, but just not here... it's our problem, I don't want people to assume anything."

"So you won't avoid me like the plague anymore?" Shownu asked.

Kihyun shook his head no.

"Then... can I prove to you that I want to make it up to you? Earn your trust back over time?" Shownu asked still seeming very serious.

Kihyun thought for a moment before nodding. "Mhm, But don't do something stupid again."

"I won't I promise." The taller replied.

The bell indicating class was starting rang and kids started filling the halls, making Kihyun jump slightly. "I um... gotta go to class." He suddenly felt very nervous around him again, like he had before, where his cheeks burned and his heart sped up slightly.

"I'll see you later then?" Shownu responded stepping away.

"See you later..." Kihyun stated in a somewhat small voice before they both went there separate ways.

Kihyun couldn't help but have a slight smile on his face for the rest of the day.

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long I've had a hectic life lately. Anyways I hope you like the new part, and hopefully none of you hate Shownu too much right now... oof. Tell me what you think so far. Vote and comment, bye!
~Hannah😋