"ɪ'ᴍ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʙᴇɢɢɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴏᴠᴇʀ sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴏɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ." 

 — ᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴅᴀʏ, ᴘɪᴇʀᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴇɪʟ & ᴋᴇʟʟɪɴ ǫᴜɪɴɴ 

❖

I'm all smiles eating decadent vegan crepes across from my guardian in the pouring rain. Well, not directly in it, but on one of La Fraîcheur's private patios. But while I love this refreshing environment, Jayden who hates it, virtually ignores it all! I've easily become captivated watching droplets lick against the window in their subtle ways, the city life as an erratic but vibrant background.

Although the horrors of last night with Ren still haunt me, today has been amazing so far. For Jayden has me flying high as I keep obsessing over what she told me after the incident, how she's 'ready to be destroyed'.

I have yet to bring it up to her since I fear I'm only overthinking it, but I suppose I can find out now? "So, last night, Jay, the talk we had after the incident, that talk . . ." I murmur.

"What about it?" Jayden grins across from me, finishing her French toast. "I remember it all, Cica."

I'm scared to ask the question, of getting rejected again. I eat the last bits of my morning meal, staring down at my plate since looking into Jayden is impossible right now. "Does it mean—" I swallow. "Does it mean that we're in a relationship now . . . ?"

"Of course we are, Ophelia Mae. We have been from day one—"

"You said you were done, that you're ready to be destroyed."

"Yes." She nods.

"So . . ."

"So what?"

"Are we together now?" I bite my lip as she closes her eyes and tilts her head back to the ceiling. Exhaling and shaking her head, I understand this disappointing reaction. I need no verbal answer.

"Okay." I crack, slowly standing from my seat.

"What do you want from me, Ophelia?" Jayden groans as she peers into my soul and rises with me. "What do you want?"

"All of you, Jayden. I want all of you."

She gives me a stern look as she replies, "You're the only girl I've fallen this hard for, Ophelia. I swear to you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do."

"Then why . . . ? Why is it so hard for you to—"

My guardian grits, "We've talked about it before—"

"Jayden, can I ask you one question? Just one?" It'll be what I need to know which step to take next in this stagnant relationship of ours.

"Ask it." She comes around to my side of the table.

"Can I-I . . . Can I have all of you?" I murmur, holding my hands behind my back. Jayden clenches her jaw, cursing to herself that I deflate hearing. I snicker as I shake my head and narrow my eyes. "So you can fuck me and buy me things 24/7, but entering an official relationship becomes a curse? What am I really to you? Some whore?"

"The only difference between a whore and a girlfriend is the title . . . Why are you tripping over a title, Ophelia?" Jayden grits, my mouth falling open at her utterance. "Why can't you just—"

"Let it go? Get over it? Push it aside? Why can't I do what I have been doing for the past year? Because I'm getting sick and fucking tired of it, Jayden."

"Sick and tired of officiating a relationship—"

"Of waiting for you to open up and let me in when that's all I've ever done for you!" I snap, my skin burning red.

Stretching her neck and cracking her fingers, she glares at everything but me when croaking, "You know why I can't do that, Ophelia, yet you continue to do this, and—"

I murmur, "If I can't have all of you, then I want none of you . . ."

"Ophelia." Jayden gasps, taken aback as she lovingly grips my shoulder. "Are you going to leave me? Don't leave me—"

I step back and mumble, "Please don't touch me, Jayden. Please don't."

"Okay." My guardian retracts her hand, staring deep into my eyes. "But please don't leave—"

I shake my head as my throat feels as dry as a desert. "Don't. Don't you come any closer."

She goes pale as she drops her jaw in bewilderment. "But how am I supposed to protect someone who won't let me touch them?"

Inching away, I fold my arms and frown. "You don't have to touch me to protect me. And I'm done with it anyway—"

"With what?"

"Your protection . . ."

"Ophelia, you're not thinking clearly." Jayden trembles. "Your uncle won't allow this, and you know it. And what about The Thrones?" The three omnipotent, celestial overseers of the entire Lion Society. The trio every angel should have qualms about.

"I don't care what he says, what they say—"

"But I do, Ophelia." I empathize her panic within me as a knot settles inside my throat. "I care about you and Leopold and The Thrones. You can't leave me. I need you to understand that. Don't do this to me. Please." I crumble over her pleading—tremendously—but I know there's nothing here for us anymore.

She won't change. It's been more than a year and she hasn't changed. But my heart, my goddamn broken heart has, and I know it'll only get worse. Thus, I burst out bawling as I turn around to run away from her. She stands stunned by it for a moment before hollering my name and bolting after me. We're gawked at like maniacs, but we pay no one any mind.

I get out into the rain where I'm most content as I'm able to cry with no one noticing or stopping me. And although I accidentally clash into others during my hysteria, I'm thankful for them as they keep Jayden from reaching me.

The farther apart we get from each other, the more I realize how vulnerable I am to demon attacks. But to be honest, what more could some rogue do to me besides ripping my body to shreds? My heart and soul are completely ruined, destroyed. Is it safe to say I'm already dead?

———————❖———————

"She really said that to you?" Brittany murmurs, sitting beside me on my bed as I'm rocked in Rita's caring arms. I nod, weeping over Jayden's scarring words. Yes, I fucking 'tripped over a title'. But am I in the wrong here?

"My poor baby girl." Rita pouts, drying my face as her eyes are damp, too.

"Maybe she wasn't serious, Ophy . . ." Brittany asks, "Are you sure she was?"

"The way it came out . . . Like—" I grumble. "Like . . . I don't know—"

"You don't have to know, Ophy." Charlie shakes his head in the room's corner, ready to bring me anything I may need.

"But you felt she meant it?" Brittany asks who, without a doubt, grieves with me. But deep inside, she's angrier than anything else with her reddened and pouty face! And though she's this way, she holds back rude comments since Rita's here, which may be unnecessary. Because I've been saying some pretty mean things about her niece without her being bothered.

"Yes." I cry as I lean into Rita more, watching a sluggish Raj remove Jayden's belongings from my home like I asked of him. And although he's upset about this break up, I'm glad he's still doing this for me.

"Wanna know what I think?" Rita asks me. "I think—know—that everything will be okay—"

"I can't ever imagine it will be, not soon, at least." I sniffle. "There's a part of me with her I'll never get back." So how could that ever make things okay for me or anyone else?

"It's a shame Jayda did such a thing; she almost made it with you."

"All I wanted was all of her . . . inside and out." Not just her money and sexy, strapping body.

"And that's understandable, Ophelia. There's no doubt she was leading you on. She knew the honesty a seraph and their guardian needed from one another." And if she didn't want to be in the relationship we were in, she shouldn't have set it up that way.

"That's so damn right." Groans Brittany, rolling her baby blue eyes.

"And I will speak to her about her foolishness." Rita adds.

My best friend hisses, "Me too."

"No, Britt. You won't be." I say as her anger makes me laugh ever so faintly. "But you don't have to either, Rita. It's no use . . ."

Brittany shrugs. "Welp, no matter what happens, we're gonna get hella shitfaced tonight and—"

"Woah, woah, woah." Rita stops her. "You two won't be doing that, especially because of this, you hear me?"

Brittany's amused by her reactions but still nods with me. "Yes—"

"So no drinking or smoking."

"But it's okay to roll?" My best friend widens her eyes when she grins as I giggle again.

"What? What is 'rolling'?" Though while Brittany only smirks at her question, the oblivious Rita spouts, "No rolling, whatever that is!" She teasingly nudges her leg as my amused best friend rolls her eyes and sighs like a bratty child.

But her brightness dissolves as Rita becomes serious with us again. The graceful woman then says to me, "You just have to let your heart heal so it can be stronger for the next lucky girl, right?" I don't agree one bit, but I keep my mouth shut and nod. "Jayda . . . That dimwit . . . She hurt a great person." Eh, 'great' may be an overstatement.

"A big fucking dimwit!" Brittany snickers.

"But she'll learn. And she will try coming back." Rita says with confidence. "But when she does, will you go back?" I'm sure I drove her away for good. I wouldn't want to deal with me again.