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Word Count: 2078

~Aspen

I stare up at the ceiling, silently cursing myself.

No matter how long I lay in bed, I can't get the thought out of my head.

What if Kastriv is my mate?

It's such a selfish thought to be having. What would the chances be that we were? Almost nothing, and yet I lay here acting as if tomorrow I'm going to be revealing a life changing bond between Kastriv and so.

I sigh through my nose. There's no chance I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm going to have to speak to Kastriv.

He seemed to notice my discomfort with Kaia's conversation, so offered to sleep on the couch last night. I told him he didn't need to do such a thing, but he insisted.

Wrapping a robe around myself, I wander to the door, peeking out through the gap.

The deep glow from the fireplace alights Kastriv's body, sprawled out over the couch with a blanket far too small for his tall form laid over him.

I clear my throat, checking to see if he's sleeping. I hope he is, to save myself some embarrassment.

He flinches, leaning up to look over his shoulder at me.

"Everything okay?" he asks softly, checking around the room to see if he missed a danger that is threatening me.

Clutching my door, I lean back and forth on my feet. "Sorry, I know it's late..."

He's standing in an instant. "What's wrong?"

I shouldn't be calling on him like this, with these dangerous thoughts flowing through my mind. He just told me I should concentrate on healing myself from what I went through with Oliver.

And now I'm about to panic right in his face about whether we are mates or not.

"Can I talk to you?" I whisper, wary of Kaia listening in. "In here?"

I hold the bedroom door open, gesturing for him to enter. He stares blankly at me for a long moment, considering something, before he promptly nods.

"Of course."

He brushes past me, my entire being buzzing with life being in his presence again. There is no chance for me to get any sleep tonight.

"What Kaia said has really gotten to me," I admit, flattening my back against the now closed door.

Kastriv, in all his tired states, blinks blearily, recalling the conversation we had earlier with my friend.

"Is this about being mates?" he asks.

"I don't even know you, Kastriv...I mean, how could you be my mate?" I blurt out, starting to pace. I need to do something that is looking directly at him.

"We don't know we are mates. Let's just touch, and see-"

He steps forward, ready to grab my bare arm and confirm it, but I rear back a few steps. He startles, holding his hands up defensively, trying to signal that he means me no harm.

"You're some powerful Angel-blood, and I'm a Demon. Could we not be anymore different?" I tell him, looking at those bare hands, how close they were to touching me.

Being mated to a Noble...that's a thought I can't even begin to comprehend.

"Maybe we should just touch-"

"And...and everything with Oliver? I don't think it would be good for me to find my mate." I'm rambling at this point, hardly making sense, but it feels good to say it.

There's no chance he's my mate, but for some reason, when I look at those hands, something deep within me tells me my life is going to change.

And it's changed enough recently for my liking.

Kastriv sighs, not impatient with me just yet, he just knows nothing is going to soothe my fear until we touch and we confirm we aren't mates.

"Aspen..."

I wrap my arms around myself. "And you're you. You're intimidating, and tall and magical...You're not who I would figure would ever be my mate."

He steps forward, grasping my shoulders, keeping me still. "Aspen, we don't even know any of this to be true. Should we not touch first?"

I pause, reigning in my rapid, panicked breathing.

Kastriv looks so earnest, so genuine in the way he looks at me, that I'm strangely comforted. He wouldn't be insulted if he were my mate, and he wouldn't...well, he wouldn't do what Oliver has always done to me.

"You're right. The chances of us actually being mates is very slim," I murmur, as he pulls away from me.

Glancing down, I watch him reach out toward my face, fingers quivering.

I stay painfully still, as he runs his fingers down my cheek.

Flinching back, I gasp, hand flying up to touch where his skin just met mine. Because where I thought there would be nothing, there is a spark.

"This can't be real," I breathe.

Kastriv looks as shocked as I am, dark eyes wide, hair wild. He slowly looks down at his fingers, then back up at me, registering exactly what this means.

He sobers far quicker than I do. "It's okay, let's just be calm and talk."

"No...no, I need air," I gasp out, backing up until I slam against the door. I fumble behind me for the door handle. I need to get out of here, to allow my brain to process this.

This is no small revelation. This is world-changing.

Kastriv is right in front of me in a moment, pressing his palm to the door, stopping me from opening it, his large body blocking my escape.

"No Aspen, you can't run. We need to talk about this," he insists.

In his eyes, I can see his thoughts scrambling to put together this reality. Neither of us thought this would be possible, and yet here we are, with undeniable proof.

"I can't be forced into another relationship, Kastriv," I tell him frantically. I can't endure more years of what happened with Oliver.

"I know." He grasps my face, forcing me to look up into his eyes. "Hey, Aspen, I know."

The panic starts to quieten as I see the calmness all over his face. He isn't Oliver. He's nothing like him, and he never will be.

"I'm not going to force you into anything. We are mates, and that is wonderful, but that does not mean you are obligated to be seriously indebted to me at this exact moment. We can figure it out day by day."

I release a long, slow breath.

"But the bond itself, it's going to force us together," I remind him. The forces of nature are strong. We will be expected to forge a strong bond soon.

Kastriv winces. "Unfortunately there isn't much I can do about that."

Even before we touched, something was driving us together. I knew no one person could be so attentive, could see so much about me without knowing me. We were connected the moment he stepped into Oliver's home and our gazes met.

"Mates...I can't believe it."

"Day by day, okay?"

"Okay...okay," I breathe.

He releases me, stepping away from the door, convinced I'm not going to run any longer.

"You don't have to work for me anymore," he mumbles, running a hand through his mussed hair. In his mind, he is rewriting his plans in his head, having to adapt to this sudden change in situation.

"No. I want to find other Demon's. Keo included." Keo may scare the shit out of me, but he may hold answers I've been searching for my whole life.

Kastriv immediately shakes his head, a dark shadow of anger passing over his face. "No, forget Keo. He is dangerous, one of the bad ones."

"But he knows where others are. We could use that," I exclaim.

"He can't be trusted..."

No, he can't be, but to him, neither can I. He wants me to come with him, which means he wants me to meet other Demon's. He has no intention of killing me, which means I'm mostly safe from him.

A dark, hideous thought suddenly pops into my mind. "What if I took his offer?"

Kastriv's eyes narrow. "Offer to what?"

"To go with him. Then, once I meet other Demons, I can get them to agree to meet with you," I say. This could work, if I can get Keo to trust me enough to introduce me to them.

"There is no way I'm agreeing to that," Kastriv growls.

"You know what I want, Kastriv...You know I need purpose," I whisper. I took the job with him for that exact reason, and now, I can finally do something with myself. Dangerous or not, I need to at least try.

"This doesn't have to be the way to find it."

"You have to admit, were it not me, you would have agreed, or thought it were a good idea," I say.

Kastriv can deny all he likes, but since saving me from Oliver, I know he sees me more vulnerable to his world, that I'm not used to it. And I never will be, unless I can do something like this.

He nods grimly. "But it is you, and-"

"Don't say it's because I'm your mate." I stare pointedly at him. This was one of my fears for being mated to such a powerful man.

He looks down at his hands, frowning. "No. It's because I'm already falling in love with you, Aspen. And Keo...He's dark, and dangerous and so fucked up he could turn on you in a second."

I don't know if I will ever have enough time to hear the true history that has been played out between Keo and the Noble's, but it must be dark and filled with horror.

My heart doesn't doubt that Keo is capable of hurting me. But I'm a Demon, exactly who he wants to keep alive.

"But I'm like him. Maybe he won't."

Kastriv shifts from foot to foot. "Aspen..."

I know he wants to force me to stay, that his nature demands it. But he sighs, defeated. He won't keep me here, not like Oliver would, I just know it.

Reaching out, I grab his hands. "Let me do this. Let me prove I can do one thing on my own."

"You're coming back in a few days. A week, maximum," he says sternly. "And I'll be one call away, to come get you whenever you need. Got it?"

"Okay Kastriv, I got it."

He stares at me, breathing heavily, contemplating something. I go to pull away, but he yanks me against his torso, and kisses me.

The force of the kiss nearly knocks me off my feet, his grip on my waist painfully tight. I gasp against his mouth, gripping his shirt to keep myself standing.

It only takes a moment of thought, as I melt into the kiss, into the feeling of his lips against mine.

This is how it was always meant to feel.

For a few breathless moments, Kastriv kisses me with enough desperation to tell me he doesn't think I'll come back from this. He genuinely believes Keo will hurt me.

As he pulls away, I can see the reluctance to let go of me written across his pained expression. "I'm sorry...I had to."

I pull from his grasp, knowing a wrong move could send us hurtling into bed.

"I..I should get some sleep," I say, swallowing tightly. It's just a taste of what is possible with Kastriv, and I'm already hungry for more.

He nods, ruffling his hand with his fingers. "We will try to find Keo tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright. Goodnight Kastriv."

I wait a couple minutes after he leaves my room before I slip out the bedroom window. I feel terrible for doing this without Kastriv knowing, but I can't risk him changing his mind.

Standing in the darkness, amidst the pink trees, I close my eyes, imagining Keo.

Where is he right now? Will he even want to come for me?"

Within me, I can feel the slightest tug of a slightest connection. I concentrate on that, on building it up, on trying to see Keo, where he is.

The sound of feet touching the ground has my eyes flying open.

And sure enough, there he is, regarding me with a cruel smile.

"Well, isn't this a surprise."

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