October 31st dawned cold and grey. Frost was on the ground and for one day only the fires burned black and purple in the hearths.

Trick or Treating had been banned in Hogwarts centuries back, but students still found ways to celebrate.  The pumpkin carving was particularly elaborate. While the largest were saved for the Great Hall decorations, any extra that Hagrid had grown were given to the students to do with as they pleased. For the third year running a particularly leering pumpkin had been bewitched on to the thoroughly angry head of Mrs Norris, and Filch was to been seen chasing her around the grounds in the early hours of the morning trying to lever it off with a broom handle.

“It’s animal abuse,” Carrie muttered. “I don’t like it.”

“She’s more evil than animal, I promise.” Chris grinned, but got only a scowl in return.

Fake spiders dangled from every archway and had a habit of jumping out at unsuspecting first years, their overlarge fangs dripping with blood. Skeletons rattled in the broom cupboards and the Hogwarts ghosts were partying hard throughout the corridors of the castle. There was even rumoured to be a vampire somewhere in the dungeons, brought in from Scandinavia especially.

Dan, Phil, PJ and Chris were seated around one large pumpkin, working on it together. Carrie had carved an elaborate floral pattern around the rim before heading back to her dormitory to change for the evening.

“Have you met the ghoul in the charms corridor yet?” PJ asked. “He has a top hat and I’m very jealous.”

“You have two top hats.” Chris complained.

“This one’s purple and sparkly.”

Chris tsked, turning back to his quarter of the pumpkin. It was a gaudy collection of cartoon penises disguised as faces, Chris’s master plan being that the candle would illuminate the obscenity when lit. In PJ’s section intricate characters rode surfboards through the galaxy, and Dan had created a screaming face that almost seemed to protrude out of the vegetable. It wasn’t until the pumpkin was lit till Phil’s image was visible: a gradient sunset in hues of orange and yellow. It was an eclectic mix of personalities.

“Are we just going to leave it floating there?”

“Yeah, why not. I think it brightens up the room beautifully.”

The festivities continued well into the afternoon, but it was as the sun sank behind the clouds that the real excitement started.

Screams were the soundtrack of the evening, and students with arachnophobia were warned to stay clear of the fourth floor corridor. The teachers too were getting into the Halloween spirit. Professor Flitwick had bewitched a cheery crowd of decapitated heads to float up by the ceiling, occasionally muttering to themselves or emitting blood curdling screams. Professor Vector had conjured up a mysterious green fog that smelled oddly of cabbage, and even McGonagall was to be seen sporting a huge, elaborate velvet witch’s hat covered in cobwebs.

Despite the scares, the atmosphere was a happy one as the students made their way down to the Great Hall for the Halloween feast.

“Did you hear?” Chris said excitedly as they clattered down the stairs. “Umbridge found four toads in her underwear drawer this morning. Four!”

“What I want to know is how the hell they managed to get into Umbridge’s underwear drawer.” Phil laughed.

“Why? Fancy taking a peek? Wow Phil, I didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.” Chris sniggered, and Phil hit him over the head with a rubber snake.

“Well, I heard the seventh years have been working on something top secret for after the feast. There’s a rumour going round that they’ve got zombies.” Dan said excitedly.

“What like, actual corpses?” Phil frowned.

“Obviously not you spoon,” Dan laughed. “I don’t know what they are. Maybe just like, scarecrows. Made of straw or something. But they’re going to come at us with rusty pitchforks screaming for brains.”

“I really, really hope that’s true.” Chris said wistfully.

Just then, Carrie joined them, pulling cobwebs from her hair.

“I was running so late I had to cut through the fourth floor,” she sighed, shaking her mane of blonde curls. “It wasn’t really that bad. They don’t touch you or anything. But it’s really eerie. And they’re really big.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Shut up, Chris. There was a purple fluffy one, too.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Maybe see a doctor, Chris.”

They had joined the crowd of students moving slowly into the Great Hall and were greeted with a cloud of warmth and the rich aroma of-

“Pumpkin spice latte.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” Dan grinned.

~

A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and the ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins flicker. Chains rattled around the walls and the pipes groaned in the stonework. They took their seats and set to work straight away on the pumpkin juice. Above their heads, the sky stormed and raged, bolts of lightning flying from one side of the ceiling to the other. It was a strange atmosphere. The warmth and the comfort of the feast, and the cheerful orange light from all the candles, juxtaposed against the spooky, electrified feel to the evening. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates and the buzz of chatter swelled and died as the students tucked in.

“Pass the eyeballs.”

“Do you think these are real fingernails?”

“I don’t care, they taste amazing.”

A shock of red hair could be seen bobbing towards them, and Ben sat down beside them with a heavy thump. “Hello, boys. You look terrible.”

The Quidditch season started in just a few days, and both Chris and Dan were exhausted. They had been training solidly throughout the holidays, and the Halloween celebrations were a welcome respite. Ben too had been training, but seemed to harbour an endless reserve of energy and was currently mouthing off loudly about Umbridge.

“Have you seen her latest? No facial piercings. One small stud in the ear only. Apparently she tried to take it all the way to girls exclusively, but Dumbledore wasn’t having it. I swear this is just to spite me because I’ve been mucking about a bit in her lessons, you know, with the whole metamorphmagus thing. It’s bloody hilarious, actually.” Ben pulled absentmindedly at the small hole where his lip piercing used to be. He looked strange without it, almost naked.

“Oh god, it’s the best. ‘Benjamin!’,” Chris adopted a high pitched whine. “’No enchantments in my class!’ Then he does all his innocent puppy-dog-eyes act and she waggles her wand trying to lift his charms, but nothing happens. Ben tears up good and proper ‘is this about my nose? I can’t help it! Everyone always makes fun of me.’ And suddenly old Delores is all sweet and sugar and apologetic, but five minutes later and he’s got for inches of purple hair sprouting out his left nostril, and she’s starting to smell a rat.”

Ben chuckled. “I pushed it a bit far though, ended up with two weeks of detention. Bundle of laughs that one.” He pulled up his sleeve to show the table the line of thin pink lines on his arm, and everyone groaned sympathetically.

Carrie looked up from her book. “I really wouldn’t antagonize her, she’s more dangerous than you think. She has the full force of the Ministry backing her up. It won’t be long before those who don’t fit her pretty little picture of ‘the well rounded witch or wizard’ are packing their bags.”

“We can’t just bow down and let her walk all over us like this, it’s not right.” Ben said emphatically.

“We’re not starting a rebellion because she toughened up the uniform code,” Carrie rolled her eyes. “I’m surprised you got away with it so long, actually. If you read the rule books then we’re not technically allowed tattoos or piercings outside of our ears. No unnatural hair colours either, it’s ‘unprofessional’, apparently. And that’s been a rule since the very beginning.”

“Seriously?!” Ben asked in disbelief, and Carrie nodded.

Their conversation was interrupted by a commotion to their left, Chris having finally succeeded in his quest to catch one of the low flying bats. The kafuffle that followed resulted in several overturned flagons, multiple injuries, yells, sparks, an extremely large enchanted pumpkin soaring majestically across the Great Hall and a week’s worth of detention for the entire end of the Gryffindor table.

~

Warm and sleepy with the not entirely unpleasant ache of an overstuffed stomach, the students were filtering slowly out of the Great Hall and towards the marble staircase. Something was holding up the throng of students and as they passed through the heavy oak doors they could see a crowd gathered around the notice board in the Entrance Hall.

“What is it now?!” Carrie asked, craning her neck to see.”

“Educational decree number 31,” Dan chuckled, making the most of his extra height. “’Boys and girls are not permitted to be within eight inches of each other.’ Oh bugger, well that’s got us stumped, eh, Phil?”

Chris let out a snort, but PJ looked worried.

“This didn’t just come out of nowhere,” he said, squinting. “What’s in the small print?”

They worked their way to the front, Phil in the lead, and it was when Phil grabbed Dan’s hand suddenly and squeezed it tight that Dan knew it was bad.

‘Severity of the punishment will reflect the severity of the offense. Those attempting to engage in same sex relations will be expelled immediately.’

There was a moment of silence as the two couples stood side by side.

“Why’s it so small? No one will even notice that.” Dan whispered.

“Because she wants get rid of us. She wants us to get caught.” Phil said dully.

“Fuck that!” Carrie exclaimed loudly.

Dan blinked. Carrie very rarely swore in public, but now she was pulling her wand from her robes with murder in her glare.

“Be careful,” Ben warned anxiously. “That’s probably ministry property, don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

She ignored him, instead conjuring up a cluster of luminous yellow sparkles which she guided over to highlight the miniature text. The watching crowd squinted to read where she was directing them, and the buzz of concerned chatter swelled angrily to a hum of rage.

“I take back everything I said,” Carrie said, angry tears stinging at the edges of her eyes. “This is war.”

~

There were many differing opinions as to the best way to deal with Umbridge’s threat. A large portion of the Gryffindors backed outright murder, discussing poisons with the Slytherins. Even the kind-hearted Hufflepuffs were in favour of grievous bodily harm.

Thanks to educational decree number twenty-nine, the turnout to this little meeting had been all too small. Students were afraid. If they were caught meeting up, the punishment would be severe. No one wanted to think about what would happen if she discovered the cause for their gathering.

“Okay, seriously now,” A tall Ravenclaw named Sophie said, taking centre stage. “We can’t actually kill her. No maiming, either. One vile woman with questionable fashion sense isn’t worth going to Azkaban over. There are so many more of us than her, we should be able to defeat her.” She stood up thoughtfully, making her way over to the blackboard and lifting up a piece of chalk. “Our immediate goal will be to work together to ensure that she doesn’t catch anyone. Not a single person. You have to protect your fellow students – even if you despise them. It doesn’t matter. You’re fighting persecution, it’s nothing to do with the individual. Maybe she’ll give up if it doesn’t work, but at the very least it will be frustrating.”

She’d been deep in discussion with her friends and it was clear that this was a fully formed plan of action.

“We can do this by covering for each other. One nasty little brat spotted a couple kissing in the forest? Too bad, three hundred students can vouch absolutely that they were in the Great Hall at the time. Give hell to anyone who snitches. Make safe spaces. And Umbridge gets her own entourage. You spot her heading down the corridor? Run ahead, make sure everyone knows. Same goes for anyone on her side. I have faith in our teaching body, I think only Filch will be able to agree with her on this one.

“Stage two is fighting back against this decree. Write to your parents. Anyone at the ministry who might be sympathetic. Kick up a fuss, don’t let this go unnoticed. Small print won’t get the better of us that easily. It’s funny, people have been screaming from the rooftops about the ministry’s involvement in Hogwarts, but this all happened very quietly. There was that piece in the Daily Doxy, remember? About her persecution against half breeds and magical creatures? So why isn’t anyone talking about this? Talk, and talk loud.

“And finally, our end goal. We just have to drive her out. Make her life a living hell. Disrupt every waking minute of her life.”

A pair of redhead twins at the back of the room led the applause.

“Stage three’s my favourite,” one of them spoke up. “We got that base covered.”

Sophie nodded. “So now what remains is for us to spread the word. Let people know that they’re safe, that we’re looking out for them and we don’t support the discrimination. And tell everyone too scared to come here how they can help. Remember, this isn’t the only bad thing she’s done and it probably won’t be the last. Resist everything. Anything you can do to oppose her is a good thing, but don’t risk your own life. I don’t mean literally. If you get expelled they’ll snap your wand and that’s as good as the end, especially if you’re muggleborn like me. Without my wand, this world doesn’t exist for me. Let’s make sure it doesn’t ever get that far.”

She took a deep breath, stepping down from the stool she’d propped herself on for projection. “The staff will help as much as they can without risking their jobs. We already know that, this is the first time in god knows how many years that McGonagall’s ‘forgotten’ to lock the classroom door at night. And she made quite a show about it. We can do this, if we all stand together. We can and will fight.”

Amidst the cheers and applause, Dan heard a low voice from a muggleborn Hufflepuff on his left. “Red, the blood of angry men.”

A grin spread across Sophie’s face. “Black, the dark of ages past.” She replied with a wink.

Dan laughed, and Phil raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, it’s a muggleborn thing,” Dan chuckled. “You wouldn’t get it.”

~

With all the drama and excitement of that midnight meeting, the first week of Decree No. 31 was very quiet. No one, of any sexuality, was reprimanded, but there was a certain air of hush around the castle. Students walked a little faster across the flagstones and cast furtive glances round corners. Dan and Phil had made no effort to hide their relationship in the past, and there was a noticeable difference in the way people spoke to them.

“It’s like we died or something,” Dan complained, cross legged at the end of Phil’s bed. “Or we’re on death row. They speak in hushed voices. It’s the pity, it’s as if we’re already doomed. I half expect them to go ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ and pat me on the shoulder.”

“What’s death row?” Phil asked.

“Oh, if someone does something really bad they get executed sometimes. Not here though. No death penalty in England, I’m talking about America.”

“You execute people?!” Phil said, horrified.

“Don’t sound so appalled, you literally suck out their souls. That’s a whole lot more macabre.”

“Well, okay, maybe a little,” Phil admitted. “I know what you mean, though. Even Carrie does it. She looks like she’s going to cry whenever she makes eye contact with me.”

“It’s like everyone knows it’s just a matter of time,” Dan said gloomily. “Umbridge has been here long enough, she knows who’s out as anything other than straight. We’re dead men walking.”

Phil leaned forwards on his knees and wrapped his arms around Dan’s neck.

“We just have to be more careful, is all. No kissing in public. That’s not all that hard, really.”

“We shouldn’t have to be careful.”

“No.”

On the rug, Luna watched them through large, yellow eyes, her tail twitching.

~

The first blow fell in the second week, when Umbridge announced gleefully that she was launching a full scale investigation into two Gryffindor boys. She was calling for anyone with information to come forward, and consequently an angry mob formed at either end of the corridor that was home to her office, stopping anyone who tried to pass.

“The worst thing is that I’m not even sure they’re actually together,” Chris said with a sigh. “They’re certainly not out. One of them had a girlfriend literally last month. I mean, there have always been rumours. They’re best friends. If there was anything going on, it was secretive.” He turned to PJ. “We’ve never been secretive. If she found out about them, we don’t have a chance.”

PJ put his arm around Chris’s shoulders. Chris had taken the news particularly badly. One of the boys, a fifth year called Dean, was a reserve on the quidditch team, and so Chris knew him well.

“As long as she can’t prove they did anything ‘gay’ after Halloween, she can’t expel them. The rule only came into place as of November. Past activities regardless.” PJ murmured reassuringly.

“I can’t just stop being gay though!” Chris said angrily.

“No rule against being gay,” PJ sighed. “Just no doing gay things.”

“Great,” Chris muttered. “So we just have to all break up and practice abstinence till we leave Hogwarts.”

Phil and Dan sat on the sofa opposite them, bodies very close together. Neither had said much for the past hour.

“Phil, you’re bisexual though,” Chris mused. “If you could just, only think about girls for the next two years you’ll be okay.”

“You can’t help who you fall in love with.” Phil said quietly.

Chris turned to PJ, his expression pained. “I know. Of course I know. How could she do this? I think I could kill her, really I could.”

“There’s no justifying it,” Dan spoke up. “She keeps going on about how it’s unprofessional. How she’s not allowing heterosexual couples either. But the rule sets are completely different. For straight people it’s just ‘no pda’. Eight inches apart when in the corridors. It’s a bit silly, but really you probably shouldn’t be exchanging saliva on a public staircase anyway. It’s gross, and not what you want to see at seven in the morning heading down to breakfast with a hangover. If you get caught you get to write lines for two hours. Woe is you.” Dan stretched his legs out in front of him, cracking his knuckles. “If we get caught even holding hands, anywhere in the castle, it’s instant expulsion.”

“Technically,” PJ said miserably. “You don’t have to even be touching. ‘Engaging in same sex relations’. Just the fact that you’re seeing each other is enough.”

Chris growled, kicking out at the footstool between them. “If I wasn’t so angry I think I would cry.”

~

Umbridge’s brief but tyrannical rein over Hogwarts was potent enough to make the history books, but the sheer quantity of heinous crimes often left some of her subtler attacks unreported. Her prejudices were many. When Hogwarts’ history was documented - in novels, histories and journals - her homophobic tirade was often neglected for sheer lack of space in the volume. It was, after all, a short spell that affected only a few. But to those few, it was the world.

~

Nobody noticed the owl at the window until it pecked at the glass so hard it knocked itself out and nearly toppled off the ledge. Phil was the first up to rescue the startled bird and retrieve the scroll tied to its leg.

“It’s from Sophie,” he said, unrolling the parchment and scanning the ink with a frown.

“What does she want?” Asked PJ.

Phil’s expression changed slowly from confusion to glee, and he looked up from the letter with fire burning in his eyes. “It’s about Umbridge,” he said, a wide smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “They have a plan.”