He was immediately called to the Principal's office the following day, along with his coach and the friends he used to pay money to.

The school didn't inform us of who told them about it, due to the fact that they also want to protect their identities. Ang bilis lang ng pangyayari. Agad na pinasesante yung coach nila dahil illegal ang ginawa niya, sa pagtanggap ng pera sa estudyante.

For Asrow and the others, they were suspended for two months and they'll be the ones who are going to clean the school after classes. Compared to the others, Asrow had it rough because he was immediately stripped off from his scholarship... and he was forced to step down from being the captain at the volleyball team.

And for the first time, I saw his father face to face... at the principal's office.

Hindi na nakaabot sa ibang estudyante yung nangyaring insidente dahil sa tatay ni Asrow. Pwede rin kasi itong makaapekto sa pagiging singer niya at baka hindi maging at ease yung ibang estudyante. Baka rin lumawak yung chismisan at baka hindi makapagpokus sa pag-aaral, lalo na yung mga malapit na mag-graduate. So, things were settled privately.

For once, I was thankful because Asrow's dad has the ability so save face for his kid... Alam 'kong mali pero... Ayoko rin naman na makitang inaapi si Asrow ng iba dahil sa nangyari. 

That'd hurt me more than anything in this world...

Or so I thought.

It was my final's week. I asked my mom and dad if I could stay at Asrow's condo for a while because I don't want to leave him all alone there. If there's a moment in his life where he needs constant and loving support, then that moment is now. 

Kahit na medyo nag-iba yung tingin nina mama at papa kay Asrow, ay pinayagan pa rin nila ako kasi naging isang malaking tulong si Asrow sa buhay namin and we owe him a lot.

"Uy kumain ka na," Pagpupumilit ko sa kanya.

I cooked him champorado this night because he wanted something hot to eat. Siya ay nakahalumbaba at nakatitig lang sa sahig, tila malalim yung iniisip. Kanina pa siyang nakaupo doon sa isang sulok at hindi pa siya nakakagalaw mula kanina pa. It's been three days since he got suspended from school and since then, he hasn't really spoken that much.

"Babe, nakulo na tiyan mo oh," I told him. "Sige na, kumain ka na kahit kaunti lang, kahit limang subo lang."

Hindi siya umimik sa sinabi ko. I frowned at his reaction. Hindi ko alam kung anu-ano yung mga nasa isip niya ngayon. Nag-usap din kasi sila ng tatay niya nung isang araw at hindi niya sinabi sa'kin kung ano sinabi niya sa kanya. 

His eyes were lifeless, as if there wasn't a soul inside his body. Ang kanyang pangingitim sa ilalim ng mata ay mas lumala, bagama't gabi-gabi siyang hindi nakakatulog ng maayos. His hair was disheveled and his palms were always cold because of sweating.

Ibinaba ko muna yung pagkain niya sa lamesa at napagpasyahan 'kong umupo sa tabi niya. "Sige, kung hindi ka kakain, hindi rin ako kakain."

Tinignan ko ulit siya para makita kung may reaksyon siya pero wala. He truly looked devastated and lost. His eyes looked similar back to when he first told me that he wanted validation from everyone... from his family... especially from his dad.

Kinuha ko yung kamay niya at hinawakan ito ng mahigpit. "I'll stay here with you then."

"May exams ka pa bukas..." Mahinang bulong niya.

Tama siya, exams ko nga bukas pero paano ba ako makakapag-aral at makakapag-pokus ng husto kung ganito yung kalalagyan ng mahal ko? Hindi ko naman siya mapapabayaan, hindi ko siya kayang iwan ng mag-isa dito sa sulok. 

"May stock knowledge naman ako," I happily replied.

Hindi na ulit siya umimik. Inihiga ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya habang pinagmamasdan ang kanyang kamay. Nagkakaroon na ito ng galos dahil sa paggigitara niya. He was working on an original song before this incident happened. I haven't heard it yet because he said that he wants me to be the first one who'll hear it... at his concert in the future.

Lumipas na ang ilang minuto pero hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw. I couldn't judge him because if I were in his shoes, I would feel the same way too. 

"Asrow, I don't know what's in your mind right now but I want you to know that..." I bit my lower lip before continuing. "... You've changed, you really changed into a better person. Before, you'd always use your money on others and make sure that your college life wouldn't be full of hard times but now... You're working on a part time job to earn money from your hard work, you learned how to help others who are in need, you're focused on studying to graduate with high honors and prove your family wrong. You are a truly inspiring person, especially to me."

I heard his sigh but I continued on talking anyways. "I'm sorry for being like this, for being clingy and for forcing you to act  like your normal self but... I just don't want you to think of yourself as someone bad again. There's a word called past, meaning nakaraan, and it shouldn't define the person you are now because that incident happened ages ago, in the past! Just because it happened before, doesn't mean that it will happen again."

Hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang kamay niya. "... I'll stay here by your side... 'till the times comes when you finally decided to speak up. Pangako ko sayo na malalagpasan natin 'to, malalagpasan mo 'yong pagsubok na 'to."

"You don't have to fight alone by yourself, Asrow. I'm here and I'm ready to fight this with you."

Iniangat niya ng paunti-unti ang kanyang ulo, hanggang sa nakikita ko na yung buong mukha niya. He let out an exasperated sigh and avoided meeting my eyes.

"... M-My father said... that I'm the biggest regret in his life..." His voice broke down. 

I opened my mouth a little to express a shock but I continued on listening to him. "... He said that the world would be so much better... without m-me in it. H-He basically downgraded me... and made me feel u-unwanted."

He gave my hand a short squeeze before letting out a short sigh. "I-I'm sorry for crying... Kalalaki 'kong tao pero ano ba 'tong ginagawa ko haha,"

"Wala namang masama ah, hindi lang naman mga babae ang may karapatang umiyak." I told him. 

Naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ni madam Josephine sa'kin. "Crying is not a sign of weakness... it's your heart cries, ang iyak ng puso mong dinadala lahat ng mga nararamdaman mo..." I passed on her words to him. 

"So just let it out, tanggap kita. Your feelings are valid, iiyak mo lang iyan. Pangako, hindi kita iiwanan dito."

Ang bigat-bigat ng nararamdaman ni Asrow, sobrang bigat. He's been trying hard all his life to get a recognition from him but then, he said those awful words to him. 

I pulled him for a hug and nuzzled my chin on top of his head. I kept on patting his back, my treasure's back. To me, Asrow is as fragile as a diamond. If you don't take care of it, it'll break. If you polish it, it'll surely be the brightest thing you've ever seen in this world.

If only I could take his pain and agony away, if only I could shoulder all his sufferings just so he can live freely again... However, that's not logically possible so I need to do some ways to at least aid him along the way.

I want to help him polish his skills, his talents, his everything. I want to see him rise higher than the others because he has a great potential inside him, but it was halted and forgotten because of his father's negligence. 

But this time, I'm here. I'm here for him. I'll help and do whatever it takes to make him achieve all his dreams and happiness...

Even if that meant, I need to forget mine.

***

Kinabukasan, nag-exam ako ng bangag. Halos isang oras lang ang tulog ko kagabi dahil pagkatulog ni Asrow, ay nag-aral agad ako at nag-browse ng notes. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung mga pinaglalagay ko doon pero hinayaan ko nalang. I know I tried my best naman, kahit na may naiwan akong mga blangko sa paper.

Shaira and Castriel asked me about Asrow's whereabouts after the exams. Hindi ko sinabi sa kanila yung nangyari kasi baka mag-iba yung tingin nila sa kanya. I didn't want them to pity and see him as a bad guy here.  

Sa pangalawang araw ng exams ay nanakit yung ulo ko sa calculus. Hindi na kasi ako nakapagsagot ng mga practice problems kahapon at literal na binasa ko lang yung lecture notes ko at examples sa book. I couldn't understand the questions at all! Kaya nanghula nalang ako, mema sulat nalang ako sa scratch paper para masabing may solutions ako.

Tuloy pa rin ako sa pagsagot pero nung bandang kalagitnaan na kami ng exams, tinawag bigla ni prof yung pangalan ko. Pinalapit niya lang ako sa lamesa niya, para kami lang ang magkakarinigan, at inutusan ako na ibigay ko na sa kanya yung paper ko.

"Ms. Suarez, you are excused." She suddenly said.

Kunot-noo ko siya tinignan. "M-Ma'am? What do you mean po?"

"Your mother just called the school, the staffs informed me just now... They said that you need to go to the hospital now..."

"It's about your father..."

Judging from her frail and sad expression, I know that something bad just happened, that something happened to dad.

Kumaripas agad ako ng takbo palabas ng room. Wala akong paki kung ang tanging pagtatakbo ko lang ang naririnig sa hallway ngayon, wala akong paki kung naiistorbo ko yung iba sa kanilang mga exams. May nabunggo pa akong lalaki na kakalabas lang ng cr pero hindi ako nag-sorry. I just ran and ran, 'till I reached the school's exit. 

Sumakay agad ako sa jeep, kahit na hindi ako mahilig sumakay doon. I was scared but I was more scared of something else. Doon ko lang din napagtantunan na naiwan ko yung bag ko sa classroom, pero wala na akong oras para bumalik doon. I have some extra cash in my pocket at ayun ang pinambayad ko. 

Walang tricycle sa binabaan ko kaya tumakbo nalang ako papunta ng hospital. Maraming tao ang napalingon dahil sa'kin pero nag-akto nalang ako na parang hindi ko sila nakikita. may namumuo nang mga luha sa'king mga mata pero agad ko naman ito pinunasan.

Hindi naman... kritikal ang kondisyon ni papa, diba? I'm sure he's alright. Baka check up lang 'to ni papa kaya ako pinatawag. Baka gusto lang ni papa na makita ako kasi namimiss niya ako ganun... Sigurado ako na 'yun lang yung dahilan. 

But I guess... I was too delusional...

Pagka-akyat ko sa ICU room kung saan naka-assign si papa, nakita ko si mama na nakaluhod na sa isang katawan na nakabalot sa isang puting kumot... Ang mga nurses at doctor ay nakapalibot sa katawan. Their heads were all faced  downwards, no one dared to raise their head because of a tragic event.

"M-Mama?" Nanghihinang pagtawag ko sa kanya.

Lumingon siya sa'kin at nakita ko na sobrang namumula na ang kanyang mga mata dahil sa patuloy na pag-iyak. "A-Anak... C-Cally, a-a-ang p-papa mo..."

"Po...?"

"C-Cardiac arrest," Mahinang bulong ni mama bago ulit siya humikbi.

Nawala lang ako ng ilang araw tapos ganito ang nangyari sa kanila... Kahit na nanghihina at mabagal lang ang paglalakad ko ay lumapit ako papunta sa tabi ni mama. My legs gave up on me when I saw... dad, with his eyes closed and his face looked... peaceful.

"P-Papa..." Mahinang pagtawag ko sa kanya. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang kamay at doon lang lumabas yung mga luha ko... Ang dating mainit niyang kamay ay malamig na ngayon. "Papa... P-Please, 'wag mo naman kami iwan oh..."

"P-Papa, gusto mo pa ako m-makita maging l-lawyer, diba?"

"A-Anak..." Ipinatong ni mama ang kamay niya sa kamay ko, na nakahawak kay papa. "... Pinapasabi ng papa mo... na mahal na mahal ka niya... at papanoorin ka niya mula sa langit... habang kinakamit mo ang mga p-pangarap mo, anak."

Mas bumuhos ang mga luha ko at napayakap kay mama. The people surrounding us left because they wanted to give us some privacy. The doctor reminded us that we should immediately fill up some forms and set up the funeral service for dad because prolonging it would only make us sadder.

Ang dati 'kong kinakatakutan ay nangyari na. Papa's life was taken away without a warning. Ang huli naming pag-uusap ay noong nakaraang araw pa... Nung nasa bahay pa ako. He said that I could stay by Asrow's side and that I should never let our relationship bother my studies... and that he... loves me... and my mom... a lot.

Maghapon akong nakayakap kay mama habang umiiyak hanggang sa iniwan niya muna ako mag-isa para maayos yung mga papeles ni papa. Pinalabas na rin ako nung room na 'yon at pinaupo muna ako sa labas habang nag-aantay. I texted Shaira to come to the hospital immediately, but I didn't tell her why. I'm glad she said she'll come, even though she doesn't know the reason why she needs to come.

Nakapunta siya dito pagkatapos ng exams. Castriel was with her when they came here.

"Cal? Anong nangyari??" Nagpapanic na tanong niya sa'kin.

Without thinking, I immediately came to her and hugged her as another batch of tears came out from my eyes. "S-S-Shai! S-Si papa... n-namatay na..."

Shock was evident on their faces upon hearing what I just said. Narinig 'kong inutusan ni Shaira si Castriel na bumili ng tubig at pagkain tapos pinaupo niya ulit ako habang pinapatahan ako. She was patting my hair on my back.

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked in a soothing voice.

"I-I... d-don't... b-but mom said it was... cardiac... a-arrest..." Nanghihinang sagot ko sa kanya.

She bit her lower lip and frowned. "... Shh, you can stop answering muna. You need rest, nandito lang ako, ha? Nandito lang ako,"

Tumango-tango ako sa kanya bago ko hiniga ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. I kept on thinking about the last time papa and I last saw each other and I truly regret everything. I should've lived with them, I should've talked to him more! I haven't even told him how much I love him... and how much I'm forever grateful to his efforts of making our family live in good conditions...

Mamaya-maya ay dumating na si Castriel. He bought four burgers and drinks from the nearest food chain. Pinilit nila akong kumain kasi alam nila na hindi pa ako nakakakain. I took a bite and that's it, wala talaga akong gana.

"Where's Asrow?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Castriel.

"I-I already messaged him..." I told them.

"And?"

"... It was left unread."

"Huh?!"

"K-Kailangan ko pa pala umuwi agad... K-Kawawa siya mag-isa, kailangan niya ako ngayon." Hirap na hirap na sagot ko sa kanila.

"Cally, huwag mo muna siya isipin. Tignan mo nga oh, hindi ka man lang sineen!" Kinuha niya ang phone ko at chineck yung recent call logs. "Oh tangina, naka-sampu't mahigit ka pang tawag sa kanya! Anong klaseng jowa 'yan??"

"H-Hindi talaga siya s-sasagot kasi depressed s-siya!" I answered back. "And he needs me by his side!"

"Oo nga pero nawalan ka ng ama, Cally. You should stay put here and wait for tita, minsan mo lang naman siya ihuhuli." 

"Shaira's right," Castriel answered before looking at her. "Family... comes first."

Inirapan siya ni Shaira bago ulit tumingin sa'kin, "I'm sure he's fine, Cally. Huwag ka na masyadong mag-alala, maawa ka naman sa sarili mo. Your eyes are puffy and red, your eye bags became darker, your hair's disheveled, you can't even speak right because you're still in shock. It'll be better if you can stay here to rest, then later, sasamahan ka namin papunta kay Asrow. Kailangan mo muna mapakalma kahit kaunti lang, you should stop worrying about others muna. You need to worry about yourself first."

"P-Pero baka sa kakahintay ko dito, baka s-siya naman... y-yung... m-mawala..." Basang-basa na yung damit ko sa kakaiyak. "B-Baka mamaya kung anu-ano na ginagawa niya sa c-condo, Shaira... P-Please, tulungan niyo ako..."

"Girl, stop thinking about him for once! You've become too dependent on his presence, on him! You're too focused on saving him from his misery, his downfall, but who's going to save you from yours?" She snapped.

Napatigil ako sa kanyang sinabi. Napatakip siya agad ng bibig nung naktia niya ang reaksyon ko. It stung me, it stung me like hell. 

"I-I'm sorry..." She murmured quietly.

Niyakap niya lang ako ulit habang ako ay tulala sa nangyayari. Everything she said... was true. Doon ko lang napagtanto na masyado na nga akong dumedepende kay Asrow. Sa lahat ng mga bagay, palagi ko siyang inuuna. Sa lahat ng mga kasalanan na nagawa niya sa'kin, palagi ko siyang pinapatawad agad.

His mood also affects me. Tuwing masaya siya, masaya rin ako. Tuwing malungkot siya, malungkot din ako. Palagi 'kong hinihiram mga gamit niya tapos tuwing may mga kailangan ako na hindi kaya ng pera namin, sa kanya ko inaasa kasi sabi niya siya na raw bahala sa lahat, basta makasama lang ako. Kapag hindi niya ako narereplyan agad, mabubugnot ako maghapon. Kapag hindi ko siya nakikita, para akong dinudurog.

Love made me become dependent on that someone and... even made me want to sacrifice my dreams... just to be with him.

***

[ A/N: aaa I'll be changing their school name na kasi ayokong magkaroon ng problema/issue sa future so from now on, they're not studying at UP na po :> no name nalang school hehe thank you. ]