Cheeseburger Backpack
It opens on beach near Crystal Temple. Steven is seen sitting on a rock and singing, "Hey Mr. Postman, bring me a post, bring me the post that I love the most. (stops singing as Jamie the mailman appears) Huh? (gasps and gets excited) My song came true! Do you have a package for me today?!"
"Hold on." Jamie opens his mailbag, "Let me see what I've got here. (takes out a peculiar package) Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?"
Steven shakes his head. "No."
Jamie pulls out envelope, "Did you order a jury summon for R.J. Finkle?"
Steven shakes his head again, a little bothered, "That's not me, I'm Steven."
"Oh, right, right, right, Steven!" Jamie pulls out a parcel, "Here it is, Steven Universe."
"Ha!" Steven gets ecstatic, "This thing is gonna help me save the world."
Jamie raised an eyebrow, "Really? It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company."
Steven explained, "Y/n, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl think I shouldn't go on magic adventures because I don't know how to use my Gem powers."
Jamie nodded, "...That seems reasonable."
Steven waved his finger, "But there are other ways I can help."
Jamie questions, "With a Wacky Sack?"
"Exactly!"
"Do you know how you can save my world?" Jamie takes out a signature pad, "Sign here, please."
"Aah!" Steven writes his name and draws stars over it.
Jamie sighed, "Barb yells at me if I don't get signatures."
"That's awful." Steven's house suddenly starts glowing from the inside. "Y/n, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are back!
Steven grabs the parcel and runs up the stairs towards his house, Jamie shouts, "Wait, Steven! What is a Wacky Sack?!"
[Inside the Beach House]
Steven enters the house, hearing Y/n's laughter, "Huh?"
"Whew, that was a ride!" Y/n put their hands on the back of their head. "Oh, welcome back, Steven!"
Garnet covered in feathers, "Hello, Steven."
Pearl glared, "Amethyst, we do not need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge!"
"What? I got this." Amethyst slowly slides a tray out of the fridge, spilling a carton of milk and dropping a bag of bagels, and puts the giant egg inside, "Look, it fits! Ha! (slams the fridge door, as a crack is heard from the inside) Oh man, We can make a big omelet, or a quiche, or big sunny side ups!"
Steven looks at Y/n, "what's with all the feathers?"
Y/n ruffled Steven's hair, "well, we ended up fighting a giant bird. (Whispers to Steven) You shoulda seen Pearl screaming. Total bird mom- (gets hit on the head by Pearl's sword lightly)"
"Let's not over exaggerate, Em." Pearl unamused, and turns to Steven, "We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out."
Steven pondered, "What? Why?"
Pearl shows Steven a statue she's holding, "We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart! Oh, Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday. (projects a hologram of the Sea Spire) It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue!"
"Wha?" Steven's eyes light up, "That's perfect!"
Pearl questioned, "What? Why?"
"Because I can help carry it for you, in this!" Steven opens the parcel and makes dramatic sound effects, as he pulls out a burger-shaped bag.
Y/n was curious, "in... a hamburger?"
"It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger! Aww, I blew it." Stevm puts it on one shoulder, "I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like, 'Dang, Steven, that's so cool.' But this is obviously important Gem business."
Pearl agreed, "Yes, so you should let us take care of it."
"What? I'm a Gem!" Steven lifts up his shirt and points at his navel gemstone.
However, Y/n was also hesitant, "Steven, you've still got a lot to learn. You can't even use your weapon yet."
Amethyst reasoned, "So, let him come! It'll be educational."
Y/n folded their arms, "you've seen the kind of terrain, I'm just not sure he could-"
"Hmm, alright. You can carry it in your hamburger." Pearl hands the statue to Steven.
"Hmm!" Steven opens the backpack, "Check this out! Everything's a pocket! Even the cheese is a pocket! I could fit a lot more stuff in here. Give me a minute! I'll pack extra supplies."
Steven begins rummaging his house for supplies, such as a bag of bagels, two sweaters, a kite, an inflatable raft, and more clothes. While in his room, he accidentally steps on a stuffed toy. Steven picks it up and starts laughing and shaking it. "Ooh, kid, don't shake me!"
"Mr. Queasy!" Stevem continues laughing and shaking it.
"Ooh, I got a medical condition!"
"You're definitely gonna come in handy!"Steven removes a first aid kit from his backpack and stuffs Mr. Queasy in.
Pearl calls Steven from offscreen, "Steeeveeen! Let's gooo!"
"Coming!" Steven walks down the steps and onto the warp pad.
Y/n smirks and ruffled Steven's hair, "hey, Steven, you know you're not leaving forever, right?"
"I know, I just wanna be prepared!" Steven smiled at them.
Amethyst lazily replied. "Back that 'thang' up."
"Let's warp."
A blue light beams from the warp pad but Steven's stomach blocks part of it. Amethyst instructed, "Suck it in, Steven!"
Steven inhales, pulling his stomach in, and the Crystal Gems begin to ascend.
[Trans. Int. Warp Pad]
Pearl turned towards Steven, "Do you remember how to do this?!"
Steven starts laughing and somersaulting in the beam, sticking his head out of the warp stream. Pearl looks to Y/n, "yeah, I got him."
Steven was grabbed by Y/n, who smiled, "Keep your head in. Don't want your head flying off somewhere new."
[Trans. Ext. Lunar Sea Spire]
The Crystal Gems arrive on another warp pad. Steven, still floating, falls on his back. They all turn to look at Sea Spire, "Whoa, the Sea Spire!"
The Gems sigh as a piece of the Spire breaks off from the structure. Pearl looks at it, "It wasn't like this a hundred years ago."
Garnet looked around, "I'm sensing structural instability."
"Oh, yeah." Steven cracks start forming around him, "That's never good."
"Gah! Steven!" Pearl rushes towards Steven.
"Wha?" The ground below starts to break off, Pearl manages to save Steven just in time, as the ground collapses into the water.
Pearl hugs Steven tightly, "Alright, hold on. We're taking Steven back!"
Mr. Queasy triggered from Pearl's hug, "Ooh, my aching stomach!"
Steven leaps off of Pearl, "Oh, Mr. Queasy!"
He takes the toy out of his backpack and shakes it while laughing, "It's killing me!"
Pearl gets frustrated, "STEVEN!!! This place is your heritage. I want you to stay and help, but you really got to take this seriously! Can you do that, Steven?"
"You got it, dude!" Steven sticks his tongue out.
Pearl is unconvinced, "Yessssss..."
Y/n snaps their fingers, "come on, we gotta keep moving."
The Crystal Gems run up to the edge of a cliff, before Garnet signals them to stop. Amethyst looks at Garnet, "What's the hold-up? We can clear this easily."
"No. The magic that sustains the whirlpool creates a vortex that will pull us below." Garnet picks up a rock nearby and hurls it over. It quickly gets halted in its trajectory and pulled by the vortex.
Y/n bends over, looking closer, "huh, good job, six 'eyes', eh?"
Garnet didn't have a reaction, but only smirked a bit when Y/n wasn't looking. Pearl questioned, "so we can't jump?"
"Oh, wait!" Steven open his backpack and pulls out two sweaters.
Amethyst raised an eyebrow, "What are those for?"
Steven ties the sweaters together, "They were for keeping warm, but check it out!"
Steven whips one end through a hole in the Spire and catches it. He takes a deep breath. Y/n panicked, "Steven!"
Pearl shouts, "Wait!"
Steven runs and jumps off the cliff. The vortex starts to pull him down. "He's getting sucked down!"
The gems cry out, "STEVEN!"
Clinging onto the sweaters which prevent him from being sucked in, Steven finds his footing on the side of the Spire and begins to pull himself upwards. "Cheesssse-burrrr-gerrrr-"
Steven manages to land into the Spire unscathed, panting. Amethyst follows up, "Steven! Way to go! C'mon, guys!"
Amethyst summons her whip from her gem, whips it around the same hole of the sweaters, and hoists Y/n, Garnet, and Pearl over her shoulder, "Steven style!"
They swings over the vortex and ascends into the Spire the same way as Steven. Pearl immediately grabs Steven, "Don't ever do that again!"
"Sorry!" Steven gets patted on the head by Garnet and hair ruffled by Y/n.
Pearl admits, "But, it was pretty great."
[Trans. Int. Lunar Sea Spire]
The Crystal Gems walk inside and look around the Sea Spire. Pearl begins commenting the structural damages, "Oh, no, no, no, this is even worse than the outside. Ugh... that's... Oh! Oh, this didn't used to be so... Oh, and the water damage. This pillar... Oh, and this had a head... Oh, Steven, once the statue's in place, it'll restore all of this to its former glory... "
Y/n seemed unamused, "if you say so."
Pearl sees some creatures crawling around a statue's shoulders, "Aah- Ah- Aaah!" she summons her spear and slices the statue in half.
Steven looked towards Y/n, "What was that goober?"
Y/n explained, "Crystal Shrimp. Not a delicacy."
Amethyst shouted to the three lacking behind, "You guys, we got a problem!"
The three run up the stairs to Garnet and Amethyst to inspect the problem. Pearl sees tons of Crystal Shrimps and gasps, "It's an infestation. And we have to pass through there to get to the top."
Steven leans towards one of the Crystal Shrimps, "Can't you just squish 'em?"
Y/n immediately pulls Steven back, "oh no no no, the shards are deadly. We'll have to find another way."
Pearl projects a hologram Amethyst, "Amethyst, if you go around to the side and disturb them with a spin attack... (projects a Garnet on the ceiling) And Garnet, if you move to the ceiling and strike this exact spot... (projects an X)?then I can advance with my- (projects herself)"
Steven interrupts Pearl, "BAGEL SANDWICH!"
Steven tosses two bagel sandwiches onto either side of the room. The Crystal Shrimps proceed to swarm towards the bagel sandwiches, clearing a path for the Crystal Gems. "Brilliant."
Amethyst was also impressed. "Oh, hey, what do you know?"
Pearl dispels her hologram, "Uh, uh... How did you know that would work?"
Steven admitted, "Well, if I were a shrimp, that's what I would do."
Y/n bumped Steven in a friendly manner, "you're on fire, kiddo."
Amethyst slides to Pearl, "You are a shrimp."
Pearl sighed, "I just want everyone to know: my plan would have also worked."
The Crystal Gems proceed to cross the cleared path and climb the stairs. They reached the top of the stairs when- Garnet halts the group, "Watch out!"
The wall to their left cracks and bursts open, forming a gushing stream of water. Amethyst questioned, "What are we gonna do?"
The Gems look at Steven, "What? Me?"
Garnet smiled, "What have you got?"
Y/n and Amethyst starts chanting, "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!"
Steven nervously searches inside his backpack. Amethyst looks, "Pearl, c'mon."
"Oh, alright."
Y/n, Pearl, & Amethyst start chanting together, "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!"
Steven pulls out an inflatable raft, "A raaaaft!"
Steven pulls the raft's handle and inflates it. The gems look impressed, "Wow!"
"Steven, that's so sensible!" Peak says as Steven throws the raft onto the water. It quickly floats away and gets washed out off the side of the Spire. Steven, Y/n, Pearl and Amethyst groan.
Garnet proceeds to kick over a nearby pillar and uses it to form a bridge over the water, "Good idea anyway, Steven."
The Crystal Gems cross the bridge to the other side and begin to walk up another staircase. Amethyst reasons, "Yeah, they can't all be winners."
The Crystal Gems slowly climb up the winding stairs around the Spire. They finally reach the top, and Steven stares in awe. The Gems approach a pedestal. Y/n whistled, "it's quite a miracle this thing is even standing."
"This is it. The Moon Goddess pedestal."Steven looks up, "And the moon is almost overhead! It's not too late to save this piece of history!"
Garnet raised her hand, "Steven, the statue."
Steven sticks his hand into his backpack, but feels something missing, "uhh, I, uh, ah, uhh... (rummages the other compartments of the backpack)"
Amethyst paused, "What's the hold-up?"
Steven is horrified, "I don't have it."
The Gems gasp in shock. Pearl shouted, "WHAT?!"
Steven stammers, "I must have left it on the bed!"
The Gems turn to look at the moon as it slowly drifts overhead. Y/n panics, "There's... There's no time..."
"Wait!" Steven reaches into his backpack, "I have an idea! (pulls out Mr. Queasy)"
"Could that work?" Y/n, Pearl, and Amethyst turn to Garnet, who shrugs in response.
Steven walks to the pedestal and places Mr. Queasy upright on the pedestal.Mr. Queasy falls over, "Oh, kid, don't shake me!"
A ray of light begins to beam from the pedestal towards the moon. Mr. Queasy is levitated off the pedestal by the beam. It begins to violently shake and explodes, causing the Crystal Gems to scream. The ground then starts shaking and cracks begin to form on the roof of the Spire. The waterfall around the Spire also starts to close in towards the structure. Garnet shouts, "Everyone, keep steady!"
Amethyst collapses into Garnet. Steven watches the destruction unravels, "No, no, no, no, no!"
The Spire begins to crumble and falls apart, separating the Crystal Gems in the process. The whole structure collapses till there is nothing left but the ocean. The Crystal Gems then emerges one by one on the water surface.
[Trans. Ext. Lunar Sea Spire]
Y/n pops out, "is everyone alive? I hope everyone knows how to swim."
Steven lamented. "This is all my fault! I broke it."
Pearl shakes her head, "No, Steven, the Spire was falling apart when we got here. You handled everything well under pressure. You did great!"
Amethyst reassured, "Yeah, two out of four of your ideas worked. That's fifty percent."
Steven sighed, "Yeah. I guess you're right. They can't all be winners."
The raft from before pops up to the water surface and the Gems stare in amazement. Y/n smiled, "make that three."
Steven cheers, "WOOO!"
The Crystal Gems all get onto the raft. Y/n, Pearl, & Amethyst all start chanting, "Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack! Cheeseburger Backpack!"
Garnet glared out into the distance, "It's a three-hour paddle home."
Steven retrieves a bagel from his backpack, "Anyone want a wet bagel?"
"Hang on," Y/n hops out of the raft and glows green, starting to kick their feet. He makes a motor out of themself. "Let's get moving!"
(Steven sticks his tongue out playfully, as the star iris zooms in on him, ending the episode.)
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