words unsaid

i can't say it.
i can't think it.
i shouldn't.

i need to stop.
it kills me inside.

i don't want to say it.
i don't want to think it.
i don't want to feel it.
but you need to know.

it pains me,
and hurts so much,
but i'll admit it.

just in this writing though,
only in writing.

you don't want me,
but                               i love you.

— hrg