.. she shot.

Pain and betrayal filled my heart.

My own mother tried to kill me? That's very... painful.

I looked around. I was still in the living room.

No sign of my mother.

Where is she?

I stood up. I found out that she missed the shot.

It's either she didn't want to kill me so she just scared me with a fake gun or, she had a bad aim. Either way, Thank you Jesus. You saved me.

I heard loud noise.
Then, a knock on the gate.

I rushed toward the loud noise. It was from mother's room.

She had an axe in her hands and she was hitting the wall.

There should be a rule in this house against funny business.

"Mum?"

"Don't come any closer Otegha. Stay away from me." She whispered.

"Why are you breaking the wall?"

A loud knock was made on the gate.

Oh yeah, someone's at the gate.

The person was probably using a stone to knock.

"Mum, I'll be back. Please don't do anything... unusual or something that would make us die!"

I tried to say it as respectful as I could but I guess my emotions won. I felt betrayed, by my own loving mother.

I briskwalked to the gate which the person was now banging heavily on.

I opened the gate but closed it shut almost immediately.

Why? Well, you'll see.

I saw my father and behind him was a group of police officers, all armed. I was expecting to see someone hawking boiled corn or a neighbour asking if he could pick some of our ripe okra.

I took a deep breath and turned back to open the gate. I saw an emotion in my dad's eyes but I just couldn't interprete it. He led the group into the house leaving me in shock.

I took a shortcut from the outside of the house to the window of my mother's room.

As I rounded the corner, I saw scattered blocks.

When I saw the wall down in pieces and dust, I knew my mother was long gone. I saw the axe on the floor in a corner. My dad and the police officers were searching the house frantically. Whatever they were looking for had to be very valuable.

I stepped over the mess of the fallen wall and walked into the house. I picked up my mother's phone and her purse.

Wait! I need a few clothes.

I got a bag and put a few clothes and underwear in it, some toiletries and a blanket. As I went along the circumference of the house I saw that a piece of cloth was hanging at the top of the fence.

She scaled the fence?

I smiled. I probably inherited my skills from her.

But she tried to kill me so no more smiling for her.

I climbed the fence professionally and got off at the other side. I looked around. She wasn't anywhere in sight.

I wasn't looking for her anyway.

Why did I pack the stuff? I needed to clear my head for some days. It was a risky decision but I felt betrayed and neglected.

I walked to a vacant wooden bench I saw close by.

I needed time with God.

My parents separated. My mother is slowly turning violent and over all, crazy. I wasn't in any school at the moment.

I stood before the bench and flung my bag to the floor, folded my arms and stared. I took a deep breath and dropped my hands. I sat on the bench and made a space next to me on the bench. I cleaned it and.....

"Jesus, we need to have a conversation. Please can you sit next to me. We need to have a father-daughter talk please."

I closed my eyes and sang. I made up the song though. I didn't really know any songs that I could sing to Jesus. Yet.

This was the song.

My heart can't understand your love
You come to me from above
My soul spins in your presence
You are my only essence

I love you
I worship you
I love you
My Lord

........ It didn't have a certain tune but it was heartfelt.

I was emotional. I was really emotional. I felt tears flow down my cheeks. Deep sobs. I was crying out my pain in between the song. After singing and wiping my wet face, I closed my eyes tighter ignoring the fact that anyone could see me crying and to them, 'talking to myself.'

I spoke to Jesus. I told him my pain. I told him that I needed him to help my emotions. I told him to help my mother and father and my brother wherever he was. Then, I saw, with my eyes closed, a very familiar girl breathing heavily.

She turned her face to my sight and whispered Help.

It was Love. The girl I met in the church at Ibadan.

Then, I opened my eyes. The pain had gone but I felt a growing burden to pray for Love.

I prayed for her from the depth of my heart.
I felt the burden lift. I opened my eyes and steadied my breathing. A dog was lying asleep by my feet. It didn't look like a stray dog. It was fleshy and had smooth fur. It was definitely a foreign breed unlike the dogs that roamed freely with no flesh at all.

I sat up and realized that I didn't specifically tell Jesus something. I mostly cried but, I felt like he understood me.

I closed my eyes and relaxed in his presence. Then, I had a flashback right there. It wasn't in black and white like in movies though. It was as clear as I remembered it. It was just that I could see it from a third person's point of view.

I threw the devotional on the floor.

FLASHBACK

At home, I bounced on my bed. Devotional in hand. I opened it and located the day. September 16.

The title was 'The Commandments'

I didn't know how, but I knew that my 'feeling' had instantly turned to anger. I flung the book across the room.

I spent the rest of the day reading an e-novel.

END OF FLASHBACK

I opened my eyes.

I broke into sobs and I genuinely repented.

Lord I'm so sorry.

I asked for forgiveness. I desperately needed to read a scripture. I didn't have a Bible with me physically. I downloaded a simple English Bible translation on my mother's phone.

‭‭Hebrews 10:17 NLT‬‬
[17] Then he says, "I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds."

‭‭Hebrews 10:22 NLT‬‬
[22] let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

I came across these verses after an intense Bible study on Hebrews.

I exhaled in relief.

God forgave me so easily. Jesus thank you.

I didn't want to go home but I hadn't had my bath. So, I got my bag, carefully stepped over the sleeping dog and got my bag. I tucked the phone safely into the bag and set off back home.

I needed a friend. A human friend. Jesus is more than enough. I also need someone to help me grow in faith.

Then I thought of the girl named Love.

But what was wrong? Why does she need help?

Suddenly, I had a vision. It was so clear. She needed help
Immediately!