One thing that Amara noticed while she sat on one of the many balconies attached to the House of Wind, was that she had really been hoping to have that feeling of comfort and safety. That feeling of home.

She used to feel it here. She felt it here more than she felt it anywhere else in Prythian. She occasionally felt it in Spring, depending on what was going on, how Tamlin was acting. Either way, Amara didn't feel at home in the Spring or the Night Courts anymore and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that.

There wasn't really many reasons for this and honestly it was probably more to do with her than it was to do with the places and the people. Because the places were absolutely beautiful and Amara was fully aware of the fact that she used to be able to sit and look at these views for hours with a cup of hot cocoa in her hands as the sun set and day turned to night. And the people? The people always made sure she ate and she was okay. Cassian always brought her breakfast and helped her find clothes to cover her scars when she couldn't bring herself to look at them. Mor would always make sure that there was a book by Amara's bedside for her to read if she woke up in the middle of the night and wasn't ready to fall asleep again just yet. Amren even gave Amara a couple of necklaces and a pair of earrings that matched a couple of her outfits to help her feel as beautiful as possible. Rhys made sure that Amara saw him very little as was her wishes, knowing that it would just remind her of everything that happened to her Under the Mountain...

Everything that he had to do to her...

It wouldn't be fair to remind her of that and he knew that, so Rhys kept his distance. He only saw her when everyone was in the room but it was rare that Amara was in a room full of people anyway. She'd held it together for so long but it seemed like that facade was starting to crack.

But Azriel... what Azriel did, Amara had no idea about because anyone that had noticed had been sworn to secrecy. It honestly just felt like he'd forgotten that she'd existed and was trying to not see her. Little did she know was that there was a little piece of shadow twirling its way through her hair and letting him know how she was doing. It let him know when she had a nightmare so that he would be awake if she ever decided to go to him because of them. Not that he expected her to come to him after a nightmare but the option was there and that was what mattered. It let them know when she hadn't eaten so that he could send Cassian with some food even after Amara told Cass that she'd already eaten. It let him know that her body was covered in what looked like scratches, scratches that should have healed by now. They should have healed months ago. They should have healed seconds after they'd been made.

Amara shivered softly as a cold breeze blew over her on the balcony but that shiver didn't last long as she felt someone wrap a blanket around her. By the scent of the blanket, she already knew it was Cassian but she still looked over at him to make sure, a small smile making its way on to her face as he sat down beside her. It was a little bit forced, more to let him know that she was okay (which she obviously wasn't) than it was out of actual happiness.

"Don't need you freezing to death. I don't know how I'd feel about coming out here in the morning to see that," Cassian said in way of explanation, shrugging his shoulders as he looked away from Amara over to the view in front of them. "He's really worried about you."

"Are we ever going to have a conversation without you trying to get to me to talk to Az?" Amara asked him with a raised eyebrow, sipping her cup of hot cocoa as it continued to keep her hands warm. She was trying to fall back in to her old Velaris routine. This was a part of it. The balcony, the hot cocoa, the sunset.

"Well, see, I would but it wouldn't be fair because I keep hassling him about talking to you. And you know I'm all about fairness." Cassian then hesitated a moment before he added to his comment. "That and I have a lot of money on you making the first move to talk to him against Mor so it would be really great if I won this bet."

Amara rolled her eyes lightly but pulled the blanket Cassian had wrapped around her closer to her body as she shivered. The two stayed in a comfortable silence as they watched the lights in the town either slowly go out or glow brighter. Silence was something that Amara found herself in quite often but the silence was never comfortable.

Maybe she could start to feel at home here again. It was a long shot but it was worth hoping.

Home...

The word was starting to light a little bit of hope in her.

That was until she heard footsteps come out to the balcony. That was until she felt Cassian get up and leave. That was until she heard three simple words that when put in to a sentence could ruin everything, especially when it was in the voice of your mate.

"Can we talk?"

The hope fizzled out and it was almost like it hadn't been there in the first place. Hope was such a fickle thing. Gone in an instant.