I do apologize for my own extensive absence. Issues with Wattpad support and the password pertaining to this account persisted, and it was not always my top priority to attempt solving them. Finally, Wattpad Support received adequate proof of my ownership of this account and allowed me to reset the password, bringing us to now. I apologize for my absence, and I hope that a few other members of ANBU will be willing to return should they so wish. 

Without further ado, the final chapter of A Couple Steps Back, after a year's wait. 

Third person pov

God wasn't super sure why Naruto Uzumaki was praying so loud. The little asshole had caused more than a few problems in the past, but he'd never been religious. Now he was screaming at the top of his lungs to give him their sensei back. Something about sealing a fox in him? He didn't know. He just worked here, honestly. This was the timeline he'd sort of given up on. He was only willing to send Kakashi back because if anyone was going to fix it, it was probably going to be the lazy, porn-reading super ninja who apparently couldn't die. God had counted how many times he'd almost bit the dust, and lets just say he couldn't fit the amount on two hands. Even he wasn't sure how that had happened, and he was the creator of like... everything. Aside from hummus. That was all them.

Anyway, it was unwise of him to underestimate the determination of Naruto Uzumaki. He'd seen that firsthand whilst marathoning through this entire time period. He was a force to be reckoned with for sure, and if anyone was going to find a way up here to heaven to kick his ass, it would be that slimy little brat. For someone who had never said a prayer in his life, he sure was loud about it. God had just gotten over his seasonal allergies too. He wasn't trying to get another migraine right out of the gate.

"Your blonde student is requesting I send you back down." God reported to the porn-reading man. The audacity. If God cared a little more, maybe he'd have sent the guy to hell. Knowing the masked man, he'd probably crawl his way back out. If he cared enough at that point. At most it would probably be nothing more than a minor inconvenience to the guy. "It seems they want to seal some sort of fox in you and send you back in time themselves."

"Uh huh." Kakashi said absent-mindedly. God pursed his lips. Did this man just not care? Because the next best option was Orochimaru, who also had a track record of not dying when he should've. The guy was definitely a pedophile though, and as God, there was a moral dilemma in sending him back. At least Kakashi would probably save the future, unlike Orochimaru, who would definitely ruin something in some way at some point. He didn't care how reformed he apparently was. He was fucking creepy, and that was coming from a man who'd willingly approved the creation of Coconut Crabs. A fucking mistake. They were terrifying. 

"I could do it. Send you back down, I mean. The seem very adamant." God toyed with the idea. It could definitely be more amusing. Kakashi with a demon in his stomach, trying to romance his previous teammate into not running off into the sunset with that Madara figure. A little fruity, but God was not going to discriminate. "The one with the spikey hair is praying now too." 

Kakashi looked up at that, raising a brow. God was surprised that had gotten any reaction, honestly. Going back in time seemed to be the least of this man's concerns. God guessed it didn't make much of a difference when he left. The sooner, the better, but he'd be going back into his younger body either way. God was just bored. He needed some comedic relief that wasn't a complete clusterfuck that would probably end with him hosting a couple hundred new souls here in heaven. His secretary had quit ages ago, so he'd have to deal with them head on. He didn't really want that. Corporate would have his head if another timeline fell in the gutter.

"Why would Sasuke be praying? He's an atheist." Kakashi closed his book with a snap. He'd read it through very carefully and was satisfied now. He wasn't too sure he could keep God waiting that much longer. If anyone could put an end to Kakashi, it would probably be him. Maybe. Again, he'd sorta been there, done that. The death thing never seemed to quite work out. Was that something he should be concerned about? He didn't really want to live forever.

"No, the other one." God said.

"What other one?" Kakashi frowned.

"The one with pineapple hair?" God raised an eyebrow. Kakashi stared into the nothingness contemplatively. Had Shikamaru also come back? He'd missed that. Icha Icha was a very enrapturing book that truly required every ounce of his undivided attention. Kakashi would say this was a character flaw, but was it really? This just showed he had amazing taste in exquisite literature. God didn't seem that amused. Kakashi couldn't see the guy, but he could sense it. Was he inside of God right now? Was he a spatial being?

"Am I inside of you?" Kakashi questioned in an accusing tone. He hadn't even given consent. Ths was another Obito trial waiting to happen. "I'm not into Vore."

"I'm out of your league anyway." God fired back immediately. If he had long enough hair, he'd flip it. "I'm sending you back. They can deal with it."

Kakashi shrugged. His world went black again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasuke hadn't meant to turn to a life of crime, but getting shoved into that fountain had truly been the last straw. How could he not go commit a mass act of arson after such an event? He didn't care if Itachi was drunk. He didn't care that he was dropping lower than Orochimaru right now! They'd pretty much ruined everything anyway, so why not blow of some steam the best way he knew how? Setting things on fire was therapeutic. A healthy way to cope in his opinion. Not many shared his views, but Sasuke didn't have any fucks left to give. He was feeling less stressed by the second just looking at the destruction he'd rained down. It had been too long since he'd gotten a chance to destroy a building.

Now that they'd found Itachi and ensured that Obito hadn't molested him, there wasn't much else for them to do. This whole time travel thing had been a flop. There wasn't a good way to fix it either. That, and he was still being followed around by Orochimaru. Sasuke knew he was supposed to watch the sannin, but that didn't make it any less irritating. Why was he reciting poetry every two seconds? Sasuke didn't care what philosophical values of cheese. If he wanted to know, he'd ask. Orochimaru's unprovoked lecturing was driving him up the wall.

"Of all the places to burn down, why choose an Olive Garden?" Orochimaru asked, mortified. And the only one in town, too! This was the only restaurant that offered unlimited breadsticks, and Sasuke had just... just thrown it away. Just like that! 

"Spite." Sasuke said, staring into the growing flames. Orochimaru stared, eyes wide. Had he... had he created this monster? He could still remember when Sasuke was a teenager doing normal things everyone his age did. Rebelling, avenging his family, and trying to kill his old friends from Konoha. Overall, pretty regular stuff considering his background! A little violent, but Orochimaru had been the same way at his age. Full of hatred and in denial of his own sexuality. Or something like that. He really didn't understand children. All he knew was that it wasn't normal for him to be burning down innocent buildings.

"Spite for what?" Orochimaru questioned, distressed. 

Sasuke was dead silent. That was answer enough.

~~~~~~~~~

Hidan was trapped. He was never going to get away from this kid. His past self would've been all for it. A young man-- who was legal, by the way-- pining after him without halt. He would've jumped on that so fast! But he'd changed after getting blown up and buried alive, as most people would. Incapacitated by a stab would, how the fuck was he supposed to get away? It's not like he could just attack the kid. That would go against the new set of morals he'd constructed that he didn't actually believe in, but was forced to follow because the tiny deer brat with spikey hair was scary. That, and he sort of cared. Not enough to change his outlook on life, but enough to behave. Ish. It was complicated, really.

"Does this mean we're together now?" Shisui asked excitedly, pulling his pants up and looking far too eager. Hidan was still laying there on the grass like a beached whale, staring up at the sky and contemplating the pros and cons of ending his own life right then and there. He didn't even move as Shisui moved to look down at him, casting a shadow across his face. "I-I did good, right?"

Hidan blinked slowly. His brain was moving slower than a dead snail. As in, not at fucking all. How did he respond to this? Was this assault? It felt a lot like assault, but he wasn't an expert despite his experiences in court persecuting that one Obito guy. He wondered what had happened to him. It had to be better than whatever the fuck was going on right now, Hidan presumed. Shisui was a handsome kid. Really and truly, he was, and he had many explicit talents that the former Jashinist would not be touching on at this time. Did that mean he wanted to date the kid? Probably not. Had he just sort of made out with him? Yeah, but it was all a force of habit!

"Why me?" Hidan whispered as Shisui dropped back to the ground and shimmied up next to him. Hidan didn't try to fight it. He just let the Uchiha snuggle into his side like a cat seeking warmth on a winter's day. That's what Hidan should've been doing. Where were his pants, even? His shirt was stuck on a branch just above them, and his underwear had landed on top of a bush just to their right. The only thing that had been spared was the friendship bracelet Rasa must've tied to his wrist when he was dying on the way to the hospital. That's the only time he would've had a chance. Hidan hadn't noticed until now.

"I'm in love with you. I'm pretty sure we're soulmates." Shisui said with such determination that Hidan was almost inclined the believe him. Emphasis on that 'almost' there. Was he being hazed? Was this a trap? It felt an awful lot like a trap. The Shikamaru kid was going to show up the second he agreed and bury him again. "You're really strong. I've never been so attracted to someone before. I was worried because I've never had any real crushes before, but then you came along. There's just something about you, you know? The way you jumped to protect your friends and I from Obito. I've just... never run into someone like that before. Not one who was this attractive, anyway."

"This shit is getting too emotional for me to handle." Hidan croaked out in response. Shisui turned, propping his head up on the man's chest. Hidan stared disdainfully at the near smug look on the kid's face. 

"Why don't you give me a chance?" Shisui pretty much purred. Hidan wanted to fucking die. More than anything. Immortality? Fuck that! Call Zetsu back up to stab him again. He was done with this shit. "It's just you and I on this little trip. Why not take advantage of that? You seemed to enjoy it a second ago." 

Hidan stared, eyes narrowed. Shisui stared back, looking all too satisfied with himself. Hidan pressed his lips firmly together. Who the fuck was he, taking this shit? He could wipe that cocky look right of that brat's face if he wanted to. He was practically asking for it. Hidan was old and tired as all fuck, and his patience was about as thin as the one-ply every convenience store seemed to use in their bathrooms. He was starting to see that maybe this wasn't a test. Maybe, for some reason, this brat just liked him. Or was just horny and didn't have any idea what was socially acceptable. He frowned, weighing his options.

Shisui scooted up a little, eyes wide and hopeful. Hidan sighed.

Fuck it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why are there casseroles covering every surface of this house?" Gaara asked in a tone that would strike the actual fear of god into just about anyone. Rasa and the terrorist he'd apparently befriended froze, oven mitts still on and eyes wide with guilt. They both had on wheeled shoes. It was a miracle they hadn't crashed and burned themselves on one of the many, many hot dishes in here. They'd set their casseroles everywhere. On the couch, the coffee table, and window sills-- the house was littered with them. And for what?

He hadn't known what they were up to at first. Temari had hesitantly approached him whilst Kankuro stood back and watched with tearful fear. Gaara had tried to look as non-intimidating as possible as his sister stuttered out the admission that they'd been driven out of their house by an invasion of casserole dishes. Apparently, their father had started to branch off into the bedrooms to store his casseroles. Why? Gaara didn't fucking know, but Kankuro was crying like a literal baby over it, so it's not like he could sit back and do nothing. He stopped helping rebuild the houses that had been ruined just to come over here and see what was up.

"We're atoning." The bomber whispered. Gaara gave him a flat look that shut him up rather quickly. Rasa cleared his throat, placing some sunglasses on for confidence and straightening his posture. Gaara still didn't look impressed. Just what did Rasa have to do for his little redheaded baby child to see him as one of the famed 'cool dads' everyone wanted?! 

"You see, we did the calculations. Robert here is a mathematician." Rasa gestured to the man, who gave a small wave. Gaara breathed in slow, trying to stomp on his growing rage. "In order to feed everyone in the village, we need exactly four hundred and thirty seven casseroles. It's the perfect apology! Subtle, but lets them know that Robert is sorry he tried to bomb them and destroy their homes." 

"He killed fifteen people." Gaara said. Rasa gasped.

"So we only need four hundred and thirty five casseroles!" Rasa exclaimed, eyes wide. He turned to Robert, who looked startled to have the attention suddenly on him. "This changes everything. Get me the scrapbook. We have revising to do." 

Robert didn't argue. Gaara turned around and walked away. This was an issue for him to deal with later. Kankuro would just have to cope.

~~~~~~~~~

Kakashi popped into existence behind the pair of praying children, earning two ear-piercing shrieks for his troubles. Kakashi didn't even wince. Not because it didn't hurt, but because he had more willpower than a humanized Ford truck with four-wheel drive on an icy road that went up the side of a steep mountain. No comment on how he knew anything about any of that, by the way. He didn't answer those types of questions. He simply smiled his usual, pleasant smile and gave a wave to his little student and Shikamaru, who evidently had actually come back. The more you know!

"God said you were looking for me." Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets, cocking his head.

"I fucking hate you." Shikamaru replied breathily. Naruto shook his head a few times, rounding himself and trying to calm down his heart. Kakashi just continued to smile in the most anger-provoking manner humanely possible. Shikamaru stared at him and wondered if this masked idiot really was their only hope. Kakashi was very capable, but what sort of person casually referred to their visit with god and read porn all day? What type of person visited with god in the first place?!

"Okay, okay, no fighting! We've got to get this over with! Sasuke set an Olive Garden on fire with his Amaterasu and it's already spread three blocks down!" Naruto exclaimed. Shikamaru's eyes popped open wide, his head whipping towards the blonde. He'd what?! How did Naruto even have this information? Just-- dammit, did it matter? They'd cease to exist after Kakashi was gone. He'd be rewriting the timeline by going back, after all. Shikamaru probably should've been more scared by the notion, but he was too tired to care right now. He just hoped Kakashi could do what they couldn't and fix things. 

"Hey, wait a fucking second! I said I'm not letting you seal me in him and I fucking meant it! No consent! Zero, you pineapple!" Kurama hissed out. Like hell he was separating from Naruto. He actually quite liked Kakashi, but that didn't mean he wanted to transfer over to him by any means. He had separation anxiety, okay?! Being separated from Naruto was going to be like losing an incompetent emotional support animal and replacing it with one that fantasized about humping things all day! He wasn't emotionally ready. Why hadn't he run this by him first? He needed more than half an hour to adjust to things like this, okay?!

"Why the hell would Sasuke do that?!" Shikamaru all but screamed. 

"Spite." Kakashi shrugged. Naruto nodded. Shikamaru threw his head back and groaned.

"There's no time to ask questions. Kurama already agreed to be sealed in Kakashi and go back with him-" 

"This is a hate crime, you trick ass bitch!" 

"-so let's get this over with and get him back in time before we all burn to death. Or before Sasuke does something to mess with the fabric of reality." Naruto wasn't sure Sasuke had the ability to do that, but nothing would surprise him at this point.

Kakashi took a deep breath and nodded. He didn't really want a chakra being sealed in his stomach, but he wasn't going to say no either. It would probably be fine! It's not like he could go back in time without him. When he'd taken in the situation here, it had been pretty clear this timeline had been fucked up a little too hard to be fixed. Those who had already come back had made a real mess of things, and the root of the problem hadn't actually been dealt with. They needed someone to go back even further. That someone, apparently, was Kakashi. Better him than Orochimaru, he supposed. As lax as Kakashi seemed, he actually had plans to do something to fix this mess.

"Alright, just-- fuck, just do it. Kakashi, are you sure you're up for this?" Shikamaru was tired. So, so tired. This was a total drag and he fucking hated it. Just what had happened? Obito had been dragged off by a strip club community? Everyone knew the secret, and with Madara back in time as well-- evidenced by Zetsu popping up-- it was pretty obvious they were probably fucked. They had no idea where the hell he was, what he was doing, or what he was going to do. They had to beat him to the punch and strike before he could. Hence Kakashi going back in time.

"Maa, maa; don't be so nervous, Shikamaru. I know what I'm doing." Kakashi had no idea what he was doing. "Go ahead, Naruto. I'll make sure your parents don't die this time around."

Kurama let out a loud, suffering groan as Naruto started to shove him out. He knew better than to fight it, however. Deep down, this was the right thing to do. He knew it was. Him not liking it didn't make this simple fact any less true. This timeline was fucked up. A total fluke, if you would. Not surprising considering who had lead the charge. No offense to Naruto, but he wasn't the brightest or best at planning. If they'd all listened to the Nara brat, maybe things would've gone better. 

Kakashi took it like a champ. Where most people would be rolling around on the ground in pain, he just stood there like an idiot and blinked whilst the chakra seeped through his abdomen and into the very core of his being. Naruto looked extremely uncomfortable as the process started. If anyone said he was crying though, they were fucking liars. He was fine! Kurama was just... he'd always been there, even if he hadn't always been nice. It was like losing a vital chunk of himself to be sealing him away like this. He knew it wasn't going to matter in a little bit. All this would be reversed. That didn't make him any less upset and irritable. This way, the good Kurama he knew and loved wouldn't be lost in time!

Kurama settled into Kakashi uneasily. It was unfamiliar and not anything like Naruto's inner mind. Where Naruto had dark sewers with water seeping across the entire floor, Kakashi had an endless whiteness and a wooden floor. The place Kurama would nestle himself wasn't a box like it had been in Naruto's mind either. It as a massive half-circle like dome with a plush flooring. More comfortable for sure, but it smelt like dogs and melted crayons. He tried not to be too grumpy as he curled up into a ball and let the rest of his chakra follow him in. He hated this. He'd never been a fan of change, and this was a big one.

"I'm sure Kurama and I are going to get along great, Naruto. I'll take good care of him." Kakashi promised, patting Naruto on the head as the boy sniffled. Shikamaru let out a puff of air. He was starting to smell the smoke of Sasuke's spontaneous arson attack.

"Shut the hell up, mutt man. Just because I'm letting this happen doesn't mean I like it." Kurama seethed. Kakashi blinked slowly. He wondered if this was what being schizophrenic was like. "If I catch you reading porn I'm killing us both."

"He's settling in great." Kakashi offered. Kurama hissed like a feral cat.

"Believe it." Naruto sighed. He shook his head a little, planting his hands on his hips. "No time to waste, Kakashi-sensei! Kurama, be nice and make sure he does what he's supposed to!" 

"Please." Shikamaru practically begged. Kurama sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He sat up slightly, cracking his neck. "Let's get this over with. Forbidden art: Time Travel no Jutsu!" 

Kakashi was getting awfully used to passing out these days.

~~~~~~~~~~~

End. It seemed quite fitting to end this book on its 69th chapter. There will be a sequel coming out shortly. I will announce it here when it does come to pass. I thank you all for reading, and I genuinely hope you enjoyed this story.