Chapter 9

Zac let Wade take control, he got the band playing and coaxed people back to what they were doing previously. The tone was a great deal less exuberant than before, but people were slowly picking up where they’d been before Mistrea’s speech.

As Wade made his way back to Zac and grabbed hold of his arm to move towards the Pack house, Shelby came rushing towards them. He growled, but she kept coming. Wade sighed and turned to her, never letting go of his Alpha and friend. “Zac isn’t up to dealing with you right now Shelby and neither am I. Back off and leave him be.”

“No! He needs me; I can’t just leave him…”

“That wasn’t a request Shelby. Leave. Now!” He put as much authority into his voice as he could and she finally stepped back, realising he was serious. He’d never liked the woman and knew she’d be trouble in the end. Right now he hoped she’d stay away and let Zac and Mistrea sort things out.

When they got to the Pack house Wade steered Zac to his office and sat him on the old leather couch, “Stay put Zac and I’ll be right back.”

Zac gazed off into space, not really seeing or even hearing what was said to him. Wade returned a minute later, placing a glass of whiskey in his Alpha’s hand and helping him bring it to his mouth until he took control himself.

Wade watched him closely and filled his glass when it was empty. “Okay Zac, one more drink then we’ll talk… or not.” Zac still looked out of it, in shock most likely and Wade wasn’t sure if he’d be capable of discussing the situation any time soon.

Wade waited quietly as his friend and Alpha slowly began to sort through the range of emotions that were tearing at his heart and mind. He’d known Zac most of his life and it was killing him to see the pain reflected in his eyes. He had no idea what to say or do to help him so remained sitting in a chair opposite to keep an eye on him.

They sat quietly for almost thirty minutes before Zac was able to speak and it was painful to hear. “I can’t believe… I mean…” he sighed. “If I’d have known who she was, that it was her…” he shook his head a painful sob breaking through, causing his entire body to shudder in pain and loss.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now? Why didn’t she tell me… for god’s sake Wade, I thought she was dead!”

Wade nodded and relaxed somewhat, because Zac was at least speaking. “First of all, I think you need to calm down and think things through. I’m here and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, but Zac you need to take a couple of steps back and look at the situation from Mistrea’s perspective.”

Zac glared at him, “She lied to me! She let me believe she was gone and you want me to…”

“Enough!” Wade was more than pissed, “You’re my Alpha, but right now you need a friend and I’ve been that to you for a lot of years. As your friend you need to listen to me and act according to what you’re told not what you think. Is that clear?”

Zac was more than shocked at the way Wade had spoken to him, but it did what it was meant to, it made him stop and think. He didn’t reply he gave a nod of his head and sat back, closing his eyes and waiting for Wade to have his say.

“I’d congratulate you on finding your mate, but we both know it’s likely to be some time before she’ll even accept you calling her that.” Wade ran a hand through his hair, giving him a moment to gather his thoughts further.

“Okay, this is fixable. It has to be. You’re mates and it’ll be difficult for you to stay away from each other for too long,” he shook his head. “You screwed up, majorly so, but in time and with patience and a great deal of grovelling, she may come around. Mistrea kept herself for you. That shows she still feels the bond between you.” He saw the expression on Zac’s face and scowled. “How the hell didn’t you feel her, know that she was close?”

Zac growled, showing he was coming back to his Alpha self. “I believed she was dead. I haven’t felt her since we were kids, not since the night her parents died. I… we were all led to believe she’d died that same night.”

“Yeah, well considering what her grandfather had done I’d say Ivan let people believe she was gone to keep her safe.” He shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face in frustration. “She’s your mate Zac, you should have felt her. I can’t understand why you didn’t?”

They sat quietly for a while thinking over the situation. Wade was watching Zac closely and actually saw the colour drain from his face as shock once more took hold of him. “What?”

Zac was stunned! Realisation had set in as images and emotions from his past seemed to come together like a puzzle, the pieces all finally fitting together. His heart hurt it was beating so fast and so hard, his eyes pricked with the salt of tears he was desperately trying to hold back. His mouth opened and a growl emerged, a growl of anger and loss and pain.

Wade watched as his friend an Alpha unravelled in front of him. Zac had always been a strong man, one that did what was best for the well-being of the Pack. He’d never seen Zac show any kind of weakness before now and it was scaring the hell out of him. He remained silent, truth be told he had no idea what to do for Zac.

“I was such a fool! That night, the night her parents died.” He dragged in a deep agonising breath. “She came to me at my party and I turned her away. Jesus Wade I treated her like a piece of meat. I thought… I assumed she was some random girl wanting to play nice with me.”

He sat forward, putting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands trying to sort through it all. “I was with someone that night… a girl.” he shook his head, “Fuck! I had a girl either side of me. I looked her over and rejected her. I told Oliver he could have her.”

Zac looked up at Wade, a torn expression written across his face. “I remember she starting to cry and I laughed at her. She… Misty, ran when she realised that I didn’t want her. God Wade, I rejected her, I showed her she’d been replaced with someone else. I didn’t understand why Oliver was pissed. He gave me a filthy look and went after her; I assumed he was going to take me up on what I’d said about him having her… because I didn’t want her.”

He ran a hand through his hair trying to keep if from falling over his face, “I barely remember feeling a slight tightness in my chest, I put it down to not knowing where Misty was. I think that’s the night I gave up on ever having her. I knew there was no way I’d ever be able to find her, not after so long.”

Zac wiped at his eyes unable to continue, “When I was with that girl, when I… we… Wade, Misty was so close, what I did, it would have caused her pain. Oh Jesus!” he came to his feet unable to speak the words he was thinking.

“Unfortunately, Jesus is not going to help us here. I know what you’re thinking Zac. Mistrea would have felt every time you were with Shelby.” He frowned as he looked Zac in the eye, “Think about it, she’s been sick, from what I’ve been told several times and I’d bet my last dollar it happened whenever you were with Shelby.”

The ache in Zac’s chest increased. He accepted the pain, accepted the fact that he had caused his mate untold pain not just recently, but every single time he’d been with another woman. He knew Shelby would be pissed, but there was no way he could or would spend time with her again. He wondered at the fact that Mistrea had never been intimate with another man in any way. Wade was correct in his assumption that there just might be a way to fix the mess he’d made of things, because if Mistrea had kept herself for her mate… there was still hope.

                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Mistrea had gotten home she was exhausted, not physically but emotionally. She hadn’t wanted to tell Zac the way she had, but he didn’t want to listen and in the end she’d had more than enough of him and his attitude towards her. That he had Shelby hanging off him at the time didn’t help keep her restraint either.

She knew everyone would want to talk about what had happened, which was fair enough, but all she wanted to do was crawl into bed, curl up under the covers and hide out for a day or so. Unfortunately this was the last thing she could do, so she made her way to the kitchen to put the make a pot of coffee.

Mistrea moved around the kitchen ignoring everyone as she organised cups, spoons, cream, sugar and a plate of muesli cookies. A sigh escaped her and she went back to check the coffee. She held on to the edge of the counter doing her best to breathe through the chaos of her mind. She turned as Oliver approached holding out his hand, offering her a glass. She raised an eye brow at him and he grinned.

“I thought a scotch and soda might help calm your nerves, before we sit down and discuss what’s happened and where we go from here.” He grinned and she took the glass grateful that he knew what she needed.

Mistrea moved to the back porch, taking a seat on the steps leading down to the yard. She sat quietly, sipping her drink slowly. She couldn’t help wondering what she was supposed to do now. Warmth engulfed her and she felt an arm come around her pulling her close. Mistrea leaned into her Guardian, needing his warmth, his comfort and his understanding.

“I guess I shouldn’t have done that huh?”

Ivan laughed and kissed the top of her head. He took the glass from her hand and sat it beside him so he could pull Mistrea closer. “I’ve always looked at you as though you were my own child Mistrea. I doubt that will ever change. I’ve also kept an eye on Zac. As I’m sure you are aware, he can be extremely stubborn. I didn’t arrive until you were already on the stage, but I know you well enough to trust that you had little choice but to tell him as you did.”

Ivan grinned and gave her arm a squeeze, “I must say, from a writer’s perspective that was one hell of a way to tell your story. You might consider using it in one of your books in future book.”

His comment put a smile on her face, which was exactly what Ivan intended. “Mae is organising the coffee. Come back inside, we need to talk and you need to decide what you’re going to do next.”

She gave him a nod and got to her feet. Ivan did as well, picking up the glass beside him and placing it in the sink as they made their way to the dining room where everyone was waiting for her.

Mistrea took a seat between her aunt and uncle sensing their need to be close to her. Ivan sat at the head of the table and Oliver the other end, with Kyle, Reece and Dylan sitting opposite Mistrea. Mae poured a cup of tea and place it in front of Mistrea, “Drink, you’ve had a rough morning and you need to sugar I put in it.”

Ivan cleared his throat and looked at the young men present. All three noticed and Reece and Dylan lowered their heads as they got to their feet to leave. Kyle looked up at them unsure of what to do or say then turned to Mistrea. These were his friends, more like brothers and he didn’t like the fact that they felt they had to leave.

Mistrea took this all in and without even thinking put her cup down and came to her feet. “Sit down, both of you.” She smiled, “You three where here for me from the first day I got here. You saved me from falling out the back of the car, you helped me unpack, you ordered pizza so we wouldn’t starve,” she laughed. “You got to know my DVD collection and most importantly all three of you took the time to get to know me.”

Mistrea glanced at her Guardian, as well as her aunt and uncle before returning her eyes to the two young men still standing opposite her. “Kyle is my cousin… my blood, but as far as I’m concerned all three of you are family and have a right to be here.” She saw Oliver out the corner of her eye giving her a nod of approval and knew he at least was okay with what she’d said.

Both boys looked up somewhat surprised. They hadn’t expected Mistrea to say what she had and were both visibly emotional because of it. “Sit!” she said again and they did.

Ivan cleared his throat again and Mistrea could see he was trying not to smile. “They actually like your DVD collection?” he burst out laughing, breaking the tension and both boys took their seats again.

“Hey I’ll have you know some of them are classics!” Mistrea laughed at her Guardian. “Uncle Ivan, I’m really glad you’re here. Have I made too big a mess of things, telling Zac the way I did?”

It wasn’t Ivan who replied, it was her Uncle Wyn. “Zac’s not the boy you once knew Misty. He’s become arrogant and pig-headed. I think he honestly believed you were gone, that you died the same night as your parents. He was hurting for a long time and nothing or no one could bring him back to what he was.”

Wyn took hold of his nieces’ hand, “He’s become hard Misty. Something an Alpha can’t afford to be. He needs you by his side.” He saw anger on her face and lifted a finger to her lips shushing her. “Hear me out child.”

He waited until she calmed then continued. “A Pack, any Pack needs an Alpha, he keeps the Pack together, keeps it strong and ensures his people don’t go rogue. He maintains control of each and every Pack member in regards to our law. He is our strength.” He glanced at his wife and the love she felt for him shone in her eyes.

“A Pack works fine with an Alpha leading it, but to be a good Pack, one that sees to the needs of all…” he looked Mistrea in the eye, needing to make sure she understood what he was saying. “A Pack without a Luna is incomplete. You, that is to say, a Luna is the heart of the Pack. She is the one who shows love and compassion, she is the one who calms the Alpha so he can see things from his heart as well as his head.”

Mistrea didn’t miss a beat, “I’m not sleeping with him! I’ve seen where his body’s been and I’m…” she heard the guys stifle a laugh and glared at them. “Hey! I’m serious. I know how many women he’s been with and until he cleans up his act I don’t even want him holding my hand!”

“Good!” declared both Ivan and Wyn at the same time.

Mistrea was relieved that both men agreed with her. “So where does that leave us?”

No one spoke and as Mistrea looked around the table, everyone seemed to be in deep thought. She had a feeling she may not have a choice in the end, that she may well have to become Zac’s mate, but the way things stood, hell could freeze over first. She sipped at her tea and hoped someone came up with a good suggestion, but the longer it took, the less hope she had that someone would.

Mistrea finished her tea and clasped her hands together in her lap. “This is my home, all these years all I could think about was coming back here. Zac and I… that would have been perfect, it’s what I dreamed of, what I imagined my life would eventually be.” She shook her head, “But not like this, I honestly don’t think he realises what he’s done or how much he’s hurt me. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

She lowered he face needing to hide the fact that there were tears in her eyes; tears of loss, of hurt and anger. She felt her aunt wrap her in her arms, resting her head on her shoulder, “You don’t have to mate him child, at least not yet.”

Mistrea tensed at what she’d heard, slowly lifting her face to look at her Aunt Mae. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said, you are the Pack Luna. This is your birthright child. No one can take it away from you and you can’t walk away from it either. Why do you think you came home?” Mae smiles softly, “You believe it was to discover what had happened with Zac, because he wanted to come home. In part that’s all true, but if you look deep down inside of yourself you’ll know it was more. You were needed here, that’s why you returned.”

“But how does that fix things? I mean if I was drawn here it would have been to him as well, right?”

“Yes child, you were drawn to your mate, the bond you have shared all these years is intact. For you at least it has never been broken.” Mae gave her niece a wicked smile, “That doesn’t mean you have to give yourself to him… at least not yet.”

“Mae?” asked Alwyn and all eyes were now on her.

“Aunt Mae, please tell me what you meant?”

“What I mean child is that you don’t have to mate with Zac. That is your choice, not his. You kept yourself for him, never once doing anything that would damage the bond between you. Zac is your mate, he always will be. You are already behaving as a Luna would, spending time with the Pack, getting to know our young. From what I’ve seen, there are a great many people who already love you. For now, you don’t need a mate. You can show him your up for the position and in turn he can prove he’s worthy of you. He has a great deal to make up for and if I were you, I wouldn’t let him of too easily.”

Mistrea blinked several times, trying to take in and understand what her aunt had just said. “I can be the Luna and I don’t have to mate with him?”

“For a time, yes. As I said he is your mate and the pull will eventually become too strong for you to ignore. I’d say until that happens he should start earning your trust, your respect and your love.”

“Mae Swanson when did you become so devious!” Ivan laughed and looked to Mistrea, “what do you think little one? Shall we make him earn the right to be with you?”

“What if he doesn’t… earn the right to be with Mistrea, I mean he hasn’t exactly been all that welcoming. What if, in the end Mistrea doesn’t want him?”

“Kyle, I hope it doesn’t come to that, but if it does I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I’m not about to hook up with a guy I don’t want to be with.” She smiled at her cousin and her eyes gleamed mischievously. “Besides, I can always take Ollie up on his offer.”

Oliver, who had so far remained silent, could feel his face turn bright red. He opened his mouth to speak, but for some strange reason his voice box wouldn’t work. He glared at Mistrea and she started to laugh, but he saw in her eye that just maybe she wasn’t joking. He let everyone have their laugh and responded in the way he should. “I’m yours my Luna, yours to command, I will always do what’s necessary to protect you.”

Mae turned to her niece, “Whatever happens, it’s your decision, your choice and we’ll support you.” Concern flowed over her face and she paused as if trying to find the right words. “If you don’t take a mate, you risk never knowing your Wolf. Are you willing to spend the rest of your life without her?”

Mistrea glanced at Oliver, he’s already spoken to her about this and if she refused Zac, he’d offered himself as a mate. Without a mate she’d never be able to shift, she’d never know the joy of running as a wolf; she’d never know the she-wolf that had been hidden from her for so long.

“I’m aware of that Aunt Mae, but I figure I’ve been human all my life. I’m not going to miss what I’ve never had right.” She smiled softly hoping they all believed her, because she certainly didn’t. She noted the surprise on everyone’s faces, but ignored it. This was her life, her decision and she wasn’t about to bind herself to anyone because others believe it’s the right thing to do. She’d take her time to decide and if she decided against mating, people would just have to deal with it.

They spend another half hour discussing the situation. They needed something solid to go with when Zac showed up to meet with them next day. Mistrea knew Zac wouldn’t be happy with what she was going to propose, but right now he didn’t have much of a choice. He needed to prove himself to her, to win her heart and that wasn’t going to be easily done. After all, how was she supposed to trust someone who had already rejected her.

Everyone ended up staying for dinner. Mistrea took charge insisting that Aunt Mae spend time with her Uncle Wyn. It brought a smile to her heart to see the two of them together and Kyle held on every word his father said. Oliver gave her a hand and even Reece and Dylan helped by setting the table.

Ivan sat in the living room with Mae and Wyn. Eventually Kyle left the room to see what he could do to help as well, realising that the adults probably wanted to talk. He wasn’t sure what they’d have to say, he figured they’d covered everything they needed too.

After dinner Mae, Wyn and Kyle headed for home taking Reece and Dylan with them. Oliver went outside stating he was going to check the area before he too headed for bed. That left Mistrea and Ivan sitting on the couch. Mistrea turned to him and he shook his head, “I think we’d done enough talking for one day, for now let’s just snuggle up close like you used to do when you were little.” And that’s exactly what they did until Ivan realised she was drifting off to sleep.

“Mistrea honey, it’s time we both got to bed, tomorrow is going to be a big day and you need your rest.”

As they came to their feet he wrapped an arm around her, supporting her as he walked her to her bedroom. He kissed the top of her head, “I’ll see you in the morning Mistrea. Sleep well.”

Mistrea got ready for bed and snuggled under the covers. She thought she’d have felt guilty for telling everyone the way she had, but Mistrea actually felt a great deal lighter, as if a great burden had been lifted from her soul. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift. Just as she’d reached the cusp of sleep she heard a wolf howl in the distance, she figured it was Oliver letting off steam and smiled. She heard another, more familiar howl and realising she was far too tired to deal with it, pulled the covers over her head and let sleep take her.