Bakugo's PoV:

Finally the suspension is over. It was boring as hell. Cleaning the dorms and everything. I change into my school uniform and throw the bandages around my knuckles into the bin. I stomp down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grab an apple and walk out, not wanting to interact with anyone (not like they want to with me). I pull the classroom door open and sit down in my chair. I cross my legs on top of the desk, not caring for the scolding I'm going to receive. I take the final bite out of my apple and throw it into the bin at the front of the classroom. I close my eyes and intertwine my fingers together behind my head.

The door opens again and the class files in, ignoring me. Kirishima looks good now. No signs of my beating. He gives me a disgusted look though. Mina just gives me a sorry one. Everyone sits down and talks to their friends. Surprisingly, Iida doesn't scold me for my 'disrespect to the school'. Mr. Aizawa walks in and I drop my legs off the desk. He stands in front of the teachers stand thing and tells us to do whatever while he sleeps. I don't have anything to do, so I just stare out the window.

English and math go by quickly. Lunch doesn't. I spent the whole time scrolling through Instagram on the roof. We're boarding the bus for our field trip now. I still don't know where we're going. I board first and sit at the back of the bus. Luckily no one sits next to me. Mr. Aizawa stands at the front of the bus. "No messing around and no eating. Other than that, I don't care about what you do." I pull out my earphones and listen to music for the next thirty minutes. We pass through oddly familiar buildings but I can't pinpoint where I've seen them before.

Mr. Aizawa tells us we're arriving in five minutes so I pull out my earphones and stuff them into my pocket. I also stuff my phone in it. Five minutes quickly pass and we stop in front of a very familiar building. And not in a good way. I can feel my heart race increasing and sweat beading on my face. "We're here. As you know, we are playing volleyball because it is beneficial to..." I block his words out, not wanting to hear any more of what he's saying.

Volleyball. Shōyō. Ball. Net. Blood. Knife. Death. I get snapped out of my thoughts from the sound of many footsteps becoming distant. I turn and see everyone standing up and getting off the bus. I slowly stand up and hesitantly follow. We line up outside the doors. My foot quickly taps the ground from the nerves. "... We're going in now!" Mr. Aizawa finishes and pushes the door open.

We walk in and something takes over my body. Though we were told to wait along the outside of the court, I disobeyed and walked over to the dreaded spot where he once laid. The last place he spoke to me. I slowly bent down and pressed my hand against the floor. I can still feel his heat. I ignore the angry calls of my teacher and stand up before walking over to the place I first encountered her. I touched the wall and the fear I felt in that moment was covered by anger. Anger for myself. Anger at her. I clench my fist and bang the wall. "Damn it!" I shout angrily. I forget about my confused classmates. I look up at the roof. "Once I find you, I'm going to make you suffer..." I hiss. I remember my classmates presences. I turn around to confused faces.

"What was that about, Bakugo?" Mr. Aizawa asks. I click my tongue.

"Mind your own damn business," I tell him.

"Get the balls, Bakugo. They're in that broom closet," he orders and points to the broom closet where the blondie came out of. I gulp and walk over to it. I open the door and walk inside. I spot something shimmer on the top shelf of the closet. I grab it and as soon as I see what it is, I immediately drop it. The knife. The one that killed Shōyō. His blood dry and flaky. Mr. Aizawa runs over to see what happened. When he sees the knife, his eyes widen in shock. "What's this, Bakugo?" He asks with worry.

I gulp and control my nerves. You went through so much therapy to get over this. "Just as it seems. A bloody knife." I grab the ball cart full of volleyballs and drag it outside. Everyone looks at me in confusion. "Stop staring, idiots."

Mr. Aizawa soon walks out and towards the class. "Some volleyball guy is going to be helping you. He'll be here soon," he informs. At that very moment, The door is dragged open to reveal the all so familiar black haired, blue eyed guy. He stares at me as he walks up to us and picks up one of the volleyballs.

"I'm Tobio Kageyama. I'll be your coach for today." He glances over at me. "To spike the ball, you want to run up and hit the ball over the net. I'll show you." He walks over to the net and throws the ball into the air and spikes it down with a lot of force. As he's in the air, I imagine him as the orange haired boy I admired so much. I shake my head and it changes back to Kageyama. He lands gracefully and the ball hits the floor with that so familiar bang. I can feel my insides on a rollercoaster.

"Everyone line up and I'll set the ball for you to spike." Everyone quickly lines up behind each other, excited to play volleyball. I wait nervously for my go. Everyone doesn't do to well. Some go over the net while most of them don't.

My turn comes around and Kageyama gives me a pitiful look. "Are you sure about this?" He asks cautiously.

I let out a shaky breath and nod my head. He throws the ball up and everything seems to be in slow motion. As I'm about to jump, Shōyō Hinata flies into view. The sight of him dead. All the bloodshed. I stumble backwards slightly and land on my butt. Kageyama's eyes widen.

"I knew you weren't ready," he mumbles and walks over to me. He puts a hand out for me to grab. I take it. He pulls me into a hug. "I know what you're feeling, Kat. I loved him as much as you did. He would be proud of you and how far you've come," he comforts. I lean my head against his chest.

I let out a shaky breath. "I found the knife..." I say, barely above a whisper but he hears me. He lets me go.

"What? The police found it ten years ago," he reminds.

I look into his eyes. "I remember all the details. Every little detail about that knife. The blood. It was fake, that one. I found the real one."

He sighed heavily. "They won't take the case again, though. It's been too long. No matter what, we won't get revenge."

I growl and feel anger coursing through my veins. I clench my fists tightly. "Don't say that!" I shout to the ground and feel tears forming in my eyes. I look up. "I'm not giving up! That's why I became a hero! I want to make that girl suffer! You loved him and I loved him! But you weren't there, were you? You didn't watch him die. You didn't see it happen. She was my age! She ended him! She's evil! You didn't see the sinister and happy look on her face when she did it, did you? Don't say you understand what I'm going through. Only I do!" I pause and I wipe the tears forming in my eyes away. My croaky voice lets out a sad laugh. "You know how much he cared for you? He'd spend hours talking about you. He loved you and you're just going to give up like that? I thought you were better, boke..." my voice slowly evaporates.

There was an awkward silence. Everyone stares in shock and confusion. Mr. Aizawa walks up to the two of us and rests a hand on my shoulder which I immediately slap away. "Everyone return to practice... We need to talk outside Bakugou."

I follow Mr. Aizawa out of the gym and around the side of the building. I rest my back against the wall and cross my arms over each other. "What," I order for a reason.

"What was that about?" He asks concerningly.

"It's none of your business."

"It is if it's stopping you from training."

I advert my gaze. "I don't want to talk about it though. It's...personal..." I mumble.

We stand in an awkward silence for some time before Mr. Aizawa says, "Ok Bakugou. I'm always free to talk to though. Keep that in mind."

"Yeah, whatever..." I reply and head into the gym. The balls continue to hit the ground though I keep the memories buried deep.

"Bakubro! What was that all about!?" Dunce face calls from his spot in the cue.

"None of your damn business!" I growl and join the back of the cue, behind Deku. He doesn't even know what happened with Shōyō though he knows I was in the hospital.

"I'm sorry about... you know..." Deku tries to comfort.

"Shut up. I don't need your pity."

We don't say another word. I hit the volley ball over the net, ignoring the pain in my chest and the returning memories.

***

Just as I'm about to leave the gym, Kageyama walks up to me and pulls me aside. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Tch, It doesn't matter..." I mumble in response. "I need to go now." I start walking to the bus again and hop on. I watch Kageyama's shrinking figure from the back of the bus.

Everyone is silent the rest of the way and I get a lot of concerned glances. "Are you ok Bakugou?" Racoon eyes asks.

"Yeah, obviously," I reply angrily. I'm lying though.

"Are you sure? What happened in there anyways?" She presses.

"It's none of your business. Talk to Shitty Hair or something."

She sighs heavily and slumps into her chair. "Why don't you just open up?" She mumbles.

I rest my head against the window and watch everything blur together. I close my eyes and focus on the comforting heat from the window. I let out a sigh and slowly drift to sleep and listen as everything fades into nothingness.

When I wake, I'm at school and being shaken by Denki. "Don't touch me!" I yell.

He backs off. "Sorry bro. Aizawa-sensei wanted me to wake you up."

I push the blonde away and stand up, immediately walking off the bus and to the group of students. I felt pity glowering off them and directing it at me.

"Return to your dorms now. We'll be playing volleyball tomorrow as well," Aizawa says. Everyone starts walking back to the dormitories while discussing the fun they shared with their friends. I click my tongue at their childish behaviour. I pushes through the glass doors and immediately make my way up to my dorm room.

After I enter, I immediately collapse onto my bed, completely over the day. Too much has happened and I'm done with it. I'm done with life. Done with people. Done with the feeling of being incarcerated in the steel holds of weakness. Everything is just too much to handle.

I groan loudly in annoyance. I walk out of my dorm room and storm down into the common room. "Where is Deku," I snarl.

"He's in his dorm room," Uraraka replies.

I turn away and walk to his room. I kick it open, not caring about if I find him naked.

"Hey kacch-" Deku starts.

"You're so stupid, Deku. Do you think I need your pity? You're weak, Deku. So weak. No wonder you only got strong when you acquired a Quirk. It's because you're a Deku. An ugly, horrible Deku. I don't ever want to see you again."

"That's mean Kacchan!" he whimpers.

"I could blast your head off right now and no one would care. Everyone hates you anyways. You're better off dead."

"K-Kacchan, please stop. You're only hurting yourself more."

My stern gaze falters for a second. "I am not hurting myself or anyone. Your existence is staining this world."

"I know you don't mean any of that. You've changed so much. Why are you doing this again?"

"Doing what again? I've always wanted you dead, Deku. You and your ugly face buried underneath the ground. You belong there, not here. No one belongs here but me because I'm going to be the number one hero! I won't let you get in my way, Deku!"

"I know you're hurting. You're hurting just like you were in middle school."

My hands that were raised, ready to blow off the stupid nerds face were lowered slowly and shock whipped out any signs of anger. "How... how did you know?"

"I've known you for long enough to know when you are alright or not. After you got out of the hospital, you were in pain. Though you may not have realised, I – we could tell you'd grown up more than you should've. You'd leave school all the time for random reasons. Whenever Aunt Mitsuki came to pick you up, she always looked so sorry. Kacchan, I realised these things now everything adds up. All those times you left school were therapy sessions for watching Hinata die-"

"Shut up!" I shout as I stare at the ground. I clench my fists hard. "I don't need you to remind me, idiot! I'm capable of remembering myself."

"I'm sorry."

"If you're going to apologise, at least be dead by dawn so I don't have to see that ugly face ever again," I say with a smirk.

"Katsuki Bakugou! What do you think you're doing!"

I turns around to see the one and only Mr Aizawa. "Just leaving."

Just as I'm about to head out the door, a blockage of classmates block my only means of escape. "You will notleave until you explain yourself," Mr Aizawa scolds.

"What is there to explain? You heard the entire conversation, right?"

"No. I came right after you said shut up. Now tell me what Midoriya has done to deserve this kind of treatment."

"It's your fault. If we hadn't gone to play volleyball, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"How does that have anything to do with this?"

"It has everything. You should already know part of it. It's on my records. My PTSD? You know about it, right?" The classes eyes widen in shock. "Get a grip on yourself! It's not that big of a deal. If you can't handle this, you won't ever be good heroes."

"I may know of your PTSD, though Miss Bakugou refrained from telling me your triggers."

"Of course the Old Hag did that... She's stupid. If you wanted to know my triggers then you could've just asked me. With some prompting I would've told you but I guess you're so useless that you didn't think about this earlier."

"Bakugou! Do not talk like that to your teacher."

"I'll tell you my triggers but only if I don't get asked about them. Don't talk about volleyball, don't speak about the famous volleyball players, do not mention anything about voll-"

"Were you hit in the face by a volleyball? Is that why you refuse to play," Todoroki asks.

"You little punk!" I shout and run towards him but get captured by Aizawa's scarf.

"Don't fight, Bakugou."

I growl at Todoroki before slightly calming down.

"Kaccha-" Deku begins.

"Shut up, Deku. I don't want to hear it," I growl at him.

"No, Kacchan. Your phones ringing."

I look behind me and see it indeed is. The contact name is 'The Old Hag'. Aizawa-sensei releases me from his scarf and I pick up the phone. I answer the call. "What is it?"

"I heard what happened. Are you alright? Do you need me to pick you up?"

"Shut up, Old Hag. I'm all fine now. I'm not that weak."

"If you cry, you aren't weak," she says sadly.

I walk to a corner of the room.

"It's a sign of weakness, mum. I can't afford people to find out how weak I am."

"How many times do I have to tell you! You aren't weak!" She shouts.

"Whatever," I mumbles and end the call. I turn my phone completely off to avoid anymore calls.

I turn around to face the class. "Stop staring, idiots. I'm going to bed." I push through the swarm of bodies and out the other side. I head back up to my room and lock the door behind me before falling asleep quickly.

***

I wake up the following day to loud knocking that doesn't subside until I pull open the door.

Standing outside is Kirishima. "What?" My voice cracks.

"You're going to be late for class unless you hurry up," he tells me.

I groan and slam the door on his face. "Go away Shitty Hair. I'm sick and I don't need you on my back. Tell the stupid excuse for a teacher that I'm not going to class," I tell him.

"Are you sure Bakubro? This is unlike you," Kirishima says.

"Shut up Shitty Hair. Stop bugging me."

Nothing is said on the other line. "Finally he's gone, piece of shit."

Ten minutes pass and then another knock on my door. "Who is it this time!?" I shout.

"It's your best bro again. I told Aizawa-sensei and he said you need to participate in hero training to get over your fear."

"Whatever!" I shout. No response. "What the hell? It's not that easy to go from absolutely frozen in face of a volleyball to being comfortable hitting it over the net. I can't believe it. He's more stupid than I thought." I slightly chuckle in realization.

***

I stand inside the gym once more. Kageyama standing with a worried expression in front of me. My heart beats like a drum, stomach flies away, fingers shiver. I take a deep breath that seems to echo through the silent gym. The ball flies through the air and I jump for it, slamming it down on the other side of the net.

Shōyō lying on the ground, smiling, blood pouring from his gaping wound.

"Bakugou?" Kirishima worries.

I snap my head around to see the entire class with looks of pity on their faces. "Shut up," I growl.

"It's OK to not be OK."

I look back down at where Shōyō was resting and he was gone. I take a deep breath. I push past Kirishima and to the back of the cue. 

I got too lazy to seperate it into chapters so it's just one big one. Here ya go. I have no clue where I was going with this