Only the gods will ever know why I agreed to make Miss Augusta Tinley my wife!

Indeed, I'd been at fault; developing foolish, sentimental stirrings for her during a farewell trip Mother devised was a profound example of idiocrasy! It was unintellectual of me, and for once I wished I'd heeded the council of a more prudent mind to 'analyse' my growing affectation towards Miss Tinley, who was not likely to reciprocate such feelings. Tinley smote my advances, which any woman might've killed for, with a cruel hand worthy of her. And my mother, with a heavy heart, accepted the inevitable and granted her dissolution of service as a companion and we parted ways as friendly enemies until, to Mother's delight, some mockery of fate tied us together in the cruelties of matrimony two years later.

It was a foolish thing to do, considering we neither respected nor loved one another in the way I imagined proper spouses ought. Tinley and I never got on, even as children—though I faintly remember a time when we were friends... Today, however, I, Lord Amos Ferriere, could strangle the handsome girl who barged into my study with flaring nostrils, flushed cheeks and hell in her eyes.

"Where is she?"

"Where's who?"

"Do not play games with me, sir. I know you've got her."

"Got what?"

She stamped her foot. "Claudia, you impertinent man!"

I frowned and looked at Creggs, our butler, who gave me his usual commonplace expression of disinterest before turning back to my wife.

"This Claudia is a doll of yours, I presume?"

Auggie gritted her teeth so hard, I was certain Creggs heard it from his place near the desk.

"Claudia is my rabbit!"

"Ah, yes, the rabbit... What on earth possessed you to name the creature Claudia? Nevermind that, I don't have it—her."

"You know where she is, then!"

"I do not, nor do I care where she's gone." With a shrug, I suddenly smirked. "Perhaps the hounds got ahold of her—I imagine they'd enjoy her plump bones."

She rushed across the room, ready to land a ringing slap to my face, but my mother, who somehow entered without my knowledge, caught her arm with a smooth movement.

"There will be no arguments today, children." She gave me a hard look before turning to Auggie. "Tinley, darling, why are you cross with him this time?" She raised a brow, looking between us. "Didn't we agree you'd get along this time? We shan't have yesterday's bickering drag into today—you know very well, I don't like it."

"Your son has got my rabbit and he won't tell me where she is!"

She stared at Auggie a minute before fixing me with those steady eyes. "Has he now?" She smiled, then turned back to Auggie, "I don't think he's got your bunny, darling. She'll turn up soon, I'm sure—"

"Yes, right next to your cold turkey at lunch."

Auggie freed herself from my mother's grasp and pointed a finger at me. "You are a cad, Amos Ferriere, and I've never despised anyone so much in all my days of service!"

The distance closed between us, and I lowered my voice while we stared daggers at each other.

"And you are a vexing little trial who ought to remember your place, lest I put you there."

Mother pulled her away, giving my hand an affectionate pat.

"Enough of that, you two. I'll not have my darlings at each other's throat." Her eyes brightened. "Why don't we have lunch? Food always makes a nasty situation better, I think."

Tinley shook my mother off and stormed out of the study with her skirt-tails billowing after her. My mother smiled at Creggs, who gave her a curt bow before following his new mistress. She turned to me, a girlish smile on her face.

"Amos, darling, I thought we agreed you'd be kinder to your wife." She shook her head. "And stealing the rabbit—which you gave as a peace-making present not too long ago—is not the kindest thing you could have done to her."

I pounded the desk causing my mother to start. "I didn't touch that blasted rabbit!"

She stepped over with a laugh and kissed my temple.

"I know you didn't, darling. I was just teasing. You know how Mummy can be." Her smile faded and a sad glint came to her eyes. "I just... had hoped she'd listen to me..." She shook herself before giving me a smile. "Let's have tea, hmm? Haggith will serve smoked duck for lunch... after what you said, turkey is out of the question..."

~

The sky dimmed early, the remaining light of day giving the dining room a disheartening look and the silence that was broken only by the ringing of cutlery and porcelain added to the already uneasy occasion. Creggs' constant glance darted between Auggie and me as he and Haggith arranged the platters. Mother, with a straight spine and regal countenance, beamed at us from her end of the table.

"Dinner smells lovely, Haggith. I'm sure Tinley will appreciate it, won't you, darling?"

Auggie granted her a tight smile before returning her focus to the grey skies outside. Having graced Creggs with one of her rare smiles when he set her plate before her, she started her meal without sparing me a glance. Haggith set my dish before me.

"Thank you, Haggith."

Mother moaned and closed her eyes in childish ecstasy.

"Isn't it delicious, Tinley, dear? Amos, darling, you mustn't play with your food—you love stew."

"Roast is more my forte."

"What did you say, dear?"

I set down my spoon.

"Haggith?"

She was at my side in an instant. "Sir?"

"What are we eating?"

She stared blankly for a minute. "Stew?"

"Yes, but what kind of meat is this?"

"Oh, beg pardon, sir. Lamb is what it is, sir."

I frowned. "I know what lamb looks and taste like, Haggith, and this," I held up the spoon, "is not lamb."

She leaned over as I raised the contents for her to examine when a voice trilled the air.

"It's rabbit."

All heads swivelled towards the singsong voice belonging to my mother. She blushed and smiled sweetly before taking another spoon of her soup.

"Rabbit has such a rich flavour, doesn't it, Tinley?"

My wife's face was as bloodless as a porcelain doll. "R-ra-rabbit?"

Mother gave her a sad smile.

"Claudia, yes..." she sighed. "Don't look so horror-stricken, Tinley. I had to do it—you left me no choice."

"Mummy—"

"Hush, now, Amos, she needed to learn." She turned to Auggie. "I begged you last evening to mind how you behaved towards him, but you wouldn't listen and, seeing how today started out, I did what I had to." She wrung her hands. "Ever since he gave you that rabbit, you've never made an effort to get along—the little thing was all you cared about, darling. And, well... the best way to punish anyone is to take away what they love and so that's what I did. How can you blame me?

"And she was such a brave soul—you ought to have seen how calmly she took the blade. I used to hunt as a girl, you know, so even if she had put up a fight, killing was no new feat for me. Haggith didn't know about the rabbit though—you know how the servants are, they never question me, well, except for Creggs. I easily added it to her pot and told her to let it simmer a while longer. Oh, come now darling, you mustn't shed those tears. You know I can't bear to see you cry—it was for your own good! Tinley, darling!"

Auggie fled from the table, and everyone with exchanged looks returned to their stations. Creggs took away my bowl. Mother glanced at me.

"You won't eat it?"

I ran a hand over my face and shook my head.

"How can I?"

She sighed before continuing her meal.

"Mother?"

"Hmm?"

"Why? I... I can't believe—I mean, I can because you're... you but... I just can't believe you did!"

She dropped her spoon with a clatter.

"Creggs, what do you think about this situation?"

With his impassive expression, Creggs answered in his usual, disinterested tone.

"It was a harsh way to go about it, my lady. You could have found another alternative, perhaps, taking the rabbit away until she complied with your terms?"

She stared at him a minute before beaming like a proud mother on her baby who took his first steps."

"Why didn't I think of that? How clever you are Creggs? You are indispensable, my dear boy! Now go tell Haggith to do up a pretty fruit basket for Tinley. I shall take it up with her coffee..."

I sighed.

One rarely could reach Lady Ferrier's moral conscience...

~

I looked up from the cries of my violin when Auggie entered the study.

"Just thought I ought to put in some practise. What did you think?"

She wrinkled her nose and sniffed.

"You're still horrendously terrible at it." I shrugged before setting it down.

She clasped her hands in front of her and stared past my shoulder.

"I am sorry for accusing you of taking Claudia, Amos. I thought you'd done it to spite me." She smirked. "For once, I wish you had."

"Mother will never say she's sorry."

"Because she will never be sorry. I've known her my whole life and have come to terms with the fact she seldom regrets her deeds."

"I'll get you another rabbit."

"No, I do not want it."

"No?"

She shook her head.

"We shall try to get along instead. Without a pet, she'll have nothing to kill if we fail."

"Failure is not a trait of mine."

She glared at me, and I sighed.

"But if it makes you feel any better, I shall include myself in that possible outcome."

She shook her head with a smile. "Goodnight."

I nodded, watching her go, and, taking up the violin, I did one of the many things Miss Augusta Tinley considered me terrible at: making it sing.

~

"Why are we out today?"

I glanced at Auggie, who scanned the distant hills from beneath her parasol and wide-brimmed hat. "I thought a change of scene would be healthy, don't you agree, Creggs?"

The young man appeared at my side, flushed and struggling beneath his load of baskets and whatnots. I frowned at him.

"They aren't as heavy as that, Creggs. Must you be so dramatic?"

"This coming from the man who still throws tantrums to get what he wants, sir," he added when I shot him a glare. Auggie glanced back.

"Why didn't Lady Ferriere come?"

"Ah, she wanted to start the new book Mrs. Petrillini recommended." Auggie shrugged and continued ahead.

"Do you plan to inform her we've locked your mother in the study with nothing but Mr. Richardson's collection of Socrates, Aristotle, and Shakespeare for company?"

"Of course not, old boy. Tinley may seem tough, but she adores the woman and will rush back to free her from her literary confinement if we breathe a word of the matter. No, consider this compensation for dear Claudia."

"Who tasted delicious, I might add."

"Creggs, distasteful. Completely distasteful."

"Apologies, sir."