I once had a Type A personality
Ambitious, agressive, restless that entity
Dreams that kept me going
Though not all of it I was loving
Crushed under the pressure
Didn't have a right measure
To map my joy n sorrow
Kept on going low n low
Until came the time
I fell flat on face
That dust...gave me the rhyme
I was finding hard to confess
I reflected upon "why?"
What make me cry?
What do I want?
Why do I want whatever I want?
What does really to me haunt?
The idea of losing
Something I have not yet gained
The idea of the world seeing
As if I hadn't enough complained
About how people view as per their view!
And I am only responsible for what I give
To make think to the crew
Then why do I care?
What's really to scare?
I answered my questions
And realized how it wasn't the fire
But the ice that burns
Cure was being a bane so dire
Search to find meaning n purpose
I was lost in the buzz.
Struggle or the process
Or the way I carried that mess;
Made me lose the reason
For whatever I was making a run.
Then I changed my way
Loved each night n day;
The process n each sweat I break...
Wasn't for winning's sake
It was to live
To love
To give...

                             -I once read somewhere the "process" matters, fall in love with the process more than the outcome. This held true through my experiences in MBBS as well. Prior I was a competitive student and it became damn difficult to engulf the truth of others being much better than me when I had to meet with many "best" people. It was when I actually literally failed in my first term of first year in anatomy n then even in prelims and also scoring less in 1st yr that made me see the truth, the reality... Even now I thank God for making me fail in those insignificant internal assessment examinations. When I learned n studied not for the marks but for knowledge and to develop skill I really got better...I never failed thereafter, even my percentage improved. And now in 3rd year one seminar influenced me even more about how a Dr shouldn't merely have knowledge n skill but attitude n values as well...made my views more clear. What is it really that I am studying for? Is my percentage going to treat a patient n satisfy him? No. It will be me as a dr....my capability as a Dr, my compassion for my patient and  empathy that would! Now I study but not for the exams...not for the marks or percentage...but for gaining knowledge!
The take home message to u all from me is that- find the reason of your struggle...is it really worth it? The real reason...the ultimate n the ideal reason will make you love the struggle n make it a child's play to u...u will love whatever you do!