When the waiter instagrammed the pic he took of Roy and Agnes and captioned it "Happy Newlyweds", the two teens had nothing to worry about. Neither of them were tagged in the post and they shared no mutual followers with the waiter. If it had stopped with that one post that was so expertly instantly grammed, everything would have been fine. It didn't stop there, however.

The waiter's IG account was followed by literally every one of his coworkers. The manager of Choppy Boat Noodle Cruise immediately liked the post and added a congratulatory comment. The waitresses, cooks, and busboys all followed suit. Even the band got in on the action claiming that their musicality had sparked this joyous event.

After all of these comments and likes, there was still no danger. The excitement was contained in this one small network. But, as we all know of the internet, once it's out there it's eventually everywhere. Sadly, for Roy and Agnes at least, Choppy Boat Noodle Cruise considered itself to be a family oriented organization. When Choppy Boat HQ caught wind of the post that had the Oregon branch of the chain all atwitter, they joined in the ruckus, quite literally, with a twitter post.

At this stage it was quite possible for the whole world to hear of the news except for one important fact. Choppy Boat Noodle Cruise was an acquired taste that very few people ever acquired. This is where it should have stopped. This is where the far reaching hands of the internet should have reached their limit while things were all fine and good with no one getting hurt. But, honestly, that would just be boring.

Of the few fans that the Choppy Boat franchise had, there was one of high importance to this situation. Nevada native Melanie Defoe would go to hell and back for a bowl of Choppy Boat's special Pasta Primavera and nothing made her happier than getting under the skin of Agnes Thompson.

So, when @ChoppyBoat_Official(verified of course) tweeted the infamous pic, Melanie saw it. With a quick wrist flick and a few mouse clicks she had retweeted, reblogged, reposted, tagged, and added about a million random emojis to the wedding photo. Before Agnes and Roy had time to set foot on dry land, everyone knew.

Everyone knew, that is except Rufus and Clara. Rufus was a semi-famous writer so he had an account on every social network but they were all managed by his publicist. He didn't even know the passwords. Clara had no accounts. Everyone she desired to keep in touch with she saw on a daily basis or had their cell number. The only socializing she did was on Teach-aid.edu. It was a site that the school set up so she could message her students and give them online homework.

When Clara checked her Teach-aid account to see if any of her incoming 4th graders had questions about their summer reading, she had one new message. It was from last year's class teacher's pet, Ruby McClure. It read:

Dear Mrs. Thompson,

Congrats on Agnes getting married!!!!!!!!! I didn't even know you could have a wedding at the Choppy Boat Noodle Cruise. She looks amazing in the picture!

Sincerely,

Ruby McClure

Clara stared at the message for two seconds before google-ing "Choppy Boat wedding picture". The HQ tweet was the first to pop up. In the description was written the specific branch location but Clara didn't need it. She could tell where they were by her father's big, stupid head in the background next to the face of "that woman". With haste she attached the picture to an email intended for her husband. The message itself was empty but the subject line read "I'll pack the bags you get the gas."