When we were all clean and bandaged up we all met in Santa's office.

We all stood in odd places looking solemnly as the big guy sat with his head on his hands. The room was buzzing with white noise as we waited for him to speak.

I thought he was about to talk when all he did was sigh and stare out into space.

When I was about to ask the one question on everyone's mind Josh beat me to it.

"Sir?" He showed no sign of hearing Josh.

"Sir?" he said more strongly. Santa's eyebrows rose, a sign he heard him. "What exactly... happened...here?"

His voice came out broken when he tried to speak and covered it up by clearing his throat. "Brief me on your mission first."

Josh seemed reluctant to answer, but sighed and consented."We split up once we were inside the zoo and took a look around. We couldn't find anything...strange, but then we started seeing small blurs. I told them to meet up in the middle of the zoo so we could go and report back to you. Those blurs turned out to be elves and they attacked us from-"

"Eh, don't forget the clicking," Carlos interrupted.

"Right. They started making clicking noises and then," he glanced at Carlos," they attacked us from the roof. We ran to a park with them hot on our tails. They swarmed us and then the clicking started again. They left me, Addy, Carlos, and went for Niya."

That's where them bastards came from.

"Before we could come to her aid they disappeared using the globes. We had no phones, no globes. So we ended up walking to a gas station and called you from there and now here we are."

Santa sighed and leaned back in his chair. I was surprised when his voice boomed throughout the room and permeated our ears."Those evil little bustards used your remaining globe to come here and catch us off guard. We fought back, of course, but they ended up taking everyone and left me on the bottom floor like a bumbling fool."

"Where they at then?" I looked pointedly at Santa waiting for an answer.

He glanced at everyone in the room."I believe my brother has them."

Brother?!

"Brother?!" the room boomed.

"Yes," was all he said.

"Care to elaborate?" My voice came out icier than intended but Santa didn't seem to mind.

"When the Man in the Moon made our planet because of global warming on Earth, he did the same thing for the south pole."

"So there's a South Pole Planet out there floating around?" Carlos asked.

"Correct."

"And let me guess. Your brother lives there, right?" I don't believe this. Ol' St.Nick has a brother.

"Right." He raked his hand down his beard and waited for us to ask more questions.

This time Addy asked a question."And you didn't tell us this because..." She narrowed her eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

"My brother has severe... problems. Problems that have caused me a great deal in the past. I've refrained from mentioning him because I want him out of my life and out of my head."

Felix's sheepish voice came from the door." B-but he's y-your broth-"

"You think I don't know that!" his voice boomed.

His face softened and he apologized to Felix.

"When were little I used to look up to him. I followed him wherever he went and he let me. As we got older his behavior became...odd. The way he acted around people had changed and he developed an interest in animals. I remember walking through the woods with him. Everything was covered in snow and it was extremely cold out. He spotted something in the snow and I had to stand on the tops of my toes to see what he was holding.

"It was a hare. A stark white hare. He pulled something from his pocket and I didn't realize it was a lighter until the flame flicked out. I screamed at him to put the hare down, but he didn't listen. When I tried to snatch it from him he shoved me to the ground. I watched in horror as he lit it on fire and dropped it to the ground. It bounced away as fast as it could while the flames licked at its fur. All I could see was a bouncing ball of flames until it suddenly stopped. The flames died out and the only thing I could see was a small stream of smoke floating in the air.

"He told me to get up and I realized I had been crying something fierce because there was a small puddle of ice on my jacket where my tears had froze. He held out his hand to me and I shook my head no. When he reached for me I rolled over, got up, and ran. He caught up to me and dragged me back home. I was traumatized. Every time I would try and run away he'd always catch me. So I gave up trying to run away. He was mentally unstable and as we got older it became worse. One night while I was sleeping I heard a voice. It told me to go north.

"And I did. I left my brother behind without a second thought and headed north. The North Pole to be exact. That's where the Man in the Moon found me. He made me into what I am today."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

"Your brother is one sick cookie."

Santa let out a bark of laughter, that was more close to a sob, at my quip.

"You got that right. I'm just concerned at what he might be doing to my kids."

I scratched my band-aid on my cheek while silence filled the air again.

It's too damn quiet in here.

"Okay, enough of the doom and gloom. We need a plan to get them back ASAP. We're going to South Pole Planet, get our people back, and kick ass with smiles on our faces!"

Their heads lifted up and smiles started to form on their faces. Mine turned into a full out grin.

"Thanks for the pep talk Niya. I felt really out of it," A sheepish smile formed on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're welcome. So what's the plan?"

Josh spoke up."We go to South Pole Planet."

"Thanks captain obvious. How'd you come up with that great idea?"

"Niya,"Santa drawled.

"Sorry."

"Okay, so we go to South Pole Planet. Then what?" Addy put in.

"We attack them," Carlos said like it was supposed to be obvious.

"With what weapons?" Santa asked.

Hmm, the floor looks very interesting. How many colors are in that thread?

Felix looked around confused while Santa silently glared at us.

Carlos cracked. "Hemos estado haciéndolos a sus espaldas," he rushed out.

"Carlos!" Addy hissed.

"Los siento," he said quietly.

And why isn't our so-called leader talking?!

"Josh, is this true?"

"Yes, sir."

"Even after the highway accident?"

"Yes, s-"

"We convinced him not to...tell." Shut up shut up shut up. "We just...I mean..."

"The missus will have my balls for this," he muttered.

I couldn't help but giggle. He said balls. He said balls.

My giggling caused everyone else to start laughing with me, while Felix let out several breaths of nervous laughter.

"Okay," Santa cleared his throat."Where are these weapons?"

We looked at each other and grinned.

《<•○●○•>》

Our weapons were stored in the same room our recon mission stuff was in. Hidden. In the room. Under the floor.

We opened it so Santa could see what we did in our spare time. I bet he's so proud.

He let out a whistle."Pack as much as you can and meet back in the factory," he instructed.

He patted Josh and Carlos on their backs and left.

Me and Addy grabbed several duffle and book bags, as the guys started taking out the weapons.

Felix just stood in the middle of our rushing around.

"Feel free to help us at any time," I suggested.

He jumped a little and went to go help the guys."Sorry, it's just that..."

"Just what, love?" Addy passed me a duffel bag.

"I'm a little nervous." He gulped when he picked up a gun and slowly put it in the bag Addy handed him.

"Don't be. We're here man." Josh patted his shoulder.

"Yeah, hermano, we got each other's backs." Carlos gave him a comforting smile while throwing an ornament in the air and catching it.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiznick.

"Dude." Josh slapped his shoulder.

"Bloody hell! Do you want us to be blown to pieces." Addy carefully took the ornament from him.

"So- rry." He rolled his eyes and continued packing.

I sighed."We're doomed."

Felix visibly gulped.

"Nia, you're scaring him." He slung some Christmas lights on over his head and on his shoulders.

"Shut up, Josh." I picked up a candy cane knife and asked where the holsters were.

Addy pointed behind her back and said,"In the compartment behind the comms."

I went to go retrieve them. While digging through the drawer I got to thinking.

How is Felix gonna contribute to our little rag tag team?

"Felix, I think you need a weapon."

"W-w-what?" He said shakily. This stuttering is killing me. The guy can't be that nervous all the time.

I sighed and absentmindedly scratched my cheek. Let's see...we need something to put those ornaments in. I sat on my haunches and opened another drawer filled with sacks. This'll do.

"I doubt you gon go up in there with flyin' fists of fury so...choose a weapon." I brought everything over to our little pile and sat crisscross.

"I think the candy cane knives and spears would suit you, love."

I snorted."He'd have to get up close and personal for that, Addy, and I don't think he's ever thrown a knife. Pick again." I sheathed some more knives and pushed my glasses further up my nose.

"Don't you think we should ask him first, Niya." Now he talks.

"Well, Josh, let's see." I turned my attention to Felix, smiled, and made sure I spoke in a sickly sweet voice.

"Felix, have you ever used a knife before?"

"Well..."

I heard Josh stifling a laugh. The nerve.

Of course he has you idiot. You use them to cut your pie with.

"Let me rephrase that." I cleared my throat."Have you ever used a knife with the intention of piercing it through someone's skin?"I asked sweetly.

"No."

"There you go," I said dryly.

"Eh, what about a gun?

We all looked at Carlos pointedly while Felix practically had an aneurysm.

He held his hands up in surrender and finished putting the candy cane bullets inside the cartridge of the gun he was holding."By all means, jump me."

We only work a couple days out of the year so we get creative with the rest of our time, sue us.

"What about the christmas light lasso," Josh asked.

"No!" Addy shrieked.

"Damn, girl. We might be able to use yo voice as a weapon." Freaking banshee that girl.

She reached for the lights around Josh and put them over her head and around her shoulders."It'ssss miiiine," she hissed,"No one touchesssss the precccioussss."

Josh shook his head."Crazy ass," I thought I heard him mutter.

"Okay, no lasso for Felix." I pushed my glasses up my nose and finished up with the knives.

"All we have left are the ornaments." Josh picked one up and passed it to me.

It was a white one.

"These are your last hope." I held up the ornament for emphasis.

"We have white, gold, green, red, silver, and black."

I held up the white one again."This. Is a smoke bomb. You don't need to pull the top off or anything just throw it to the ground 'coz the outside is fragile enough to break." I sat it back inside the sack and passed the others around."If you want to make a quick getaway, use that son of a gun."

Addy held up the green one."This is just a regular grenade-like ornament. Pull the top off and throw it where ever you want and BOOM!" she put the ornament down and spoke quickly."Everything explodes, enemies gone, and all it leaves is a glittery green mess." She clapped her hands together."Brilliant I tell you."

Got me feelin' drunk and high, so high, so hiiiigh.

Josh held up his red ornament."Mine's just the same except mine ends with a red...glittery...explosion." He sat his back down and glanced at me for a split second, then pointed to the one in Felix's hand.

I'm feelin' drunk and high, so high, so hiiigh.

"That spiky gold one in your hand; however, isn't like a grenade. I mean it is but-"

...shoot across the skyyyyy-

"Niya."

I focused my attention on him."Hmm," I grunted.

"You were bobbing your head."

"To the music in my head. Sue me."

Addy cut him off before he could speak."Oooh, what song?"

I smiled."Hymn for the Weekend."

She squealed."I love that song."

"So do-" Josh narrowed his eyes at me."Not sorry, but continue."

"Anyway, the gold ornament shoots out spikes when you throw it. The spikes stick to anything within a 10-ft radius and detonates when it's attached." He sat the ornament in the sack and held up the silver one in his possession.

"The silver ones are stun grenades, flash grenade, flashbang, or whatever you want to call'em. Non-lethal. They temporarily disorient an enemy's senses. It produces a blinding flash of light and an intensely loud bang of greater than 170 decibels without causing permanent injury." He sat it back in the sack."Use that one like the smoke bomb to get out of a sticky situation."

"And last but not least the Diablo Negro." Carlos held the black ornament in his hand, turning and admiring it.

Oh hell.

"Carlos," I said calmly."Put that down. Now."

Our Lord. Who arth in heaven. Hollow be thy name...

"Just pass it to me, man." Josh held out his hand expectantly.

"But-"

He reached his hand out further, waiting.

Carlos sighed and rolled his eyes and passed it over to Josh."You trust me with a gun, but not a grenade."

"Just not with that grenade," Addy said.

"Pendejos," he muttered.

"We heard you ass wipe." Psssh. Like we don't know Spanish. The boy taught it to us.

"Whatever," he turned his attention to Felix," Look, Felix. Just know that the black ornaments are killer." He glared at us when he said that last part.

"And because they're killer...we only have three,"Addy pointed out.

"Wh-why three?"

" 'Coz they're more like a last resort."

He still looked confused.

"You twist the topof the ornament however many times you want the time to be. So if you twist it one time, it's one second. Twist two times, it's two seconds and so on," I explained.

"Then you throw dat hoe!" Josh exclaimed.

"Josh!" I couldn't help it. I started pig snorting while the others joined in. Except dear ol Felix.

Now that's the old Josh.

He composed himself and cleared his throat."Sorry."

We were still laughing even after he composed himself.

Carlos had tears in his eyes and Addy was holding her stomach to keep from laughing so hard.

"Hermano! The way you said it!"

He attempted to sound like Josh."Throw that hoe." He started laughing uncontrollably."Throw...that....hoe."

He ignored our laughing and went on explaining the rest about the black ornament.

"After you set the time!" he tried to talk over us.

He failed.

"You throw it and the toxins inside become airbo- GUYS!"

Nope. Still laughing.

Our laughter died down, but once we stopped we took a breath and started again.

"I'll wait."

We were all laughed out by the time we composed ourselves.

I wiped at the leftover tears at my eyes and said breathily,"Continue."

He eyed Felix and talked so fast his sentences blended together."You twist the top to set the time throw it wherever you want toxins to become airborne everyone in the vicinity dies these are your weapons okay let's go."

He was already standing up before he finished his explanation.

And he left before we could follow.

We all hurriedly grabbed our stuff and followed him.

Santa was patiently waiting for us on the first floor of the factory sharpening his swords.

We sat our things on the floor and peered around. It was still a mess. Tables turned, toys strewn everywhere, and all that damn cotton and blood.

God we gotta clean this shit up.

The big guy sat his swords down and cut right to the chase."So what do we know?"

We put on our no-nonsense attitudes and put everything we knew out there.

"Your brother..."I trailed off.

"Claude."

I snorted."Claude has taken our friends back to his lil planet doing God knows what."

"He has evil bagger looking elves as his bloody minions."

"As you can see blunt objects can severely hurt them." Santa waved his hand across the room.

"He sent them to the zoo," Carlos input.

"As a distraction," Josh mumbled.

"Josh, speak up son."

"He sent them there as a distraction. Knowing we were gonna go there." He licked his lips."Took the globes to go back South Pole Planet, then used the second one to come here." He pointed at the floor for emphasis.

"Then found more globes and took everyone to his bloody planet."

"And now we get them back," I said strongly.

"Listen up." We all paid attention to what Santa had to say."We're going take the portal to South Pole Planet, along with the reindeer. Search for my brother, find the kids, and if it comes to it. We fight."

"Should we take some globes, too?" Josh asked.

"Yes.What's left of them."

He nodded and turned to leave.

"Hey, Santa? You gon' use some of ya mojo to clean this up?"

He held up his finger and closed his eyes."Right, right."

He held up both his hands and a sparkling glittery light came from his palms. He waved them in a circular motion, before folding his fingers into a fist. The light spread everywhere in the room, wrapping around any and everything putting it back in its rightful place. The blood dispersed, the cotton disappeared, and the toys were put together and put up.

Everything was right again.

"Alrighty. Time to start Operation: Bad Santa!" I clapped hands with Addy and glimpsed at the globe behind her.

The lights were flickering out.

"Hey. Hold up, hold up, hold up."

I brought everyone's attention to the globe by pointing at it.

"What now?" Addy groaned."I'm ready to fight somebody."

"Change of plans," Santa said."Felix, go notify Josh. We're going back to Earth."

A/N:Unedited. Probably filled with mistakes.
I didn't do my math homework.
Thanks for reading!!