I sit on the floor of my room, books laying open around me. One is for math, another for poetry. And still another with maps. I had already read them all, but the one I love most of the one closest to me. The front is decorated with differs swirls on the front. It's open on the 32nd page, showing more of the swirls. It's an art book. The patterns and colors are so beautiful to my eyes. They all seem to tell a story of their own. I try to recreate the swirls on blank sheets of paper with my hands. I'm not allowed to paint my room, but there always seems to be lots of paper lying around.

I paint on the paper as singing from downstairs floats to me on invisible winds. They all sound really nice. I can't sing with them because someone could hear me. I bet that's it's fun to sing. All the melodies sound so sweet together. I quietly hum as I paint. I hear the singing stop, and I immediately stop humming. I listen closely to what's going on downstairs while cleaning up my paining supples. I push the paint and brushes against the wall and leave the painting on my bed to dry. A few of my paintings disappear after I finish them, and I know that the head of the church probably takes them to be sold. I guess it's the least I can do to thank the church for taking me in.

Once I hear the sound of the crowd leaving the church, I shoot up and start coming down the stairs to my room. I stop in the supply closet and watch the last few people leave. I then come out of hiding and dash into the small room on the other side of the building. I skid to a halt to avoid crashing into the head of the church. He stands with his back to me while taking off his white robe and rearranging the others in the closet. He couldn't of heard my bare feet on the carpet, but I'm not allowed to speak to him until I'm spoken to. So I wait.

     It takes a full five minutes before he turns around. "Oh, Mu. I didn't hear you come in. Beautiful day, isn't it?", He asks me. I know better then to ask my question until he wants to hear it. "A little cloudy, but it should be wonderful later tonight", I reply. "A good thing, too. Can't have it raining for the King's birthday, now can we? I was just about to leave for the festival, actually. So, what do you need?", He questions me with a kind voice. I know better then to believe in his kindness. "I finished all my work for today. And I made a paining that's drying in my room. I was wondering if......um, you would take me to the festival with you?", I say.

He moves so fast that I have no time to react. I hear the sound of him slapping my bare arm before I can feel the pain. He grips my wrist in a painful way even after he did it. I can see the 'evil spirit' trying to push him away from me, but it just goes through him. I bite my lip and don't make a sound at the burning pain on my forearm. "You ask the same stupid question every year, and every year I give you the same answer. You are forbidden from leaving the church grounds. You have to stay here and better yourself. You wouldn't be the way you are if he thought you should be able to roam. You are staying here, and that is final", the head of the church scolds me.

I knew that I shouldn't of asked, but I did anyway. The same thing I have done since I was three. "I'm sorry", I whimper. "Well you should be! Go to your room. You're not to come out until morning for your chores", the head master says before letting go of my wrist and shoving me out of the room. I quickly scramble away and up the stairs of the bell tower. I fall onto my bed and curl up against the wall with my knees pulled to my chest.

     I cry behind my mask, but it's not from the pain in my arm. Seeing everything from my window and the church courtyard isn't the same as being there. Day after day, month after month. Is it too much to ask to be a part of it? Am I that much of a freak to the world? I quickly rip off my mask and drop it to the ground. The light slightly hurts my now uncovered eye. I try to wipe the tears off my face, but they just keep coming. I eventually give up and let myself cry.

     The spirit's shadow sits beside me, quiet as ever. "You're my only friend, you know that? At least you don't seem to hate me. But I guess you can't really like me, either", I stutter out to the shifting shadow, "You're not evil". The shadow seems to look at me, it's blurry human shape constantly shifting. It almost seems sad. It reaches an arm around my neck and brings the other one up to hug me, even if I can't feel it. I hiccup and sob a little more, but this time it's more about the thought that someone does care about me.

I eventually calm down and the spirit let's go of me. "Thank you", I tell it. I don't know for sure, but I get the distinct feeling that it's smiling at me.