Not long after I got settled at my desk, I heard another knock on my door and once again, I found Alec waiting for me. I took a deep breath, gave him a nod, and waved for him to come in.

"Hi," he said as he slipped in and shut the door behind him. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could start working on things for the dinner."

"Yeah, of course." I didn't mind at all. As strange as it was, I was actually really grateful he came as quickly as he did. Without him, there was that nasty silence, but with him, there was only work. Well, that and unresolved feelings, but work squashed those deep down for them to fester and kill me later. But, later, at least, wasn't now.

"I, uh, would have been over sooner, but Theo came knocking at my door shortly after you arrived." He stepped over to Emily's desk and grabbed himself a seat. "Apparently there are drinks on Friday."

"Oh, so he got around to asking you."

"Yeah, are you going?"

"Are you not?" I asked, turning to face him only to find he'd rolled over and was much closer than I expected. I swallowed and continued. "I don't think anyone would raise eyebrows when you're out with a whole group of people, especially when it's with the team you've been working closely with. You should take care of yourself and take a break too."

"You're right," he said with a smile. "It would be nice to give everyone a special night after working so hard. Maybe I can expense it."

"Isn't the gala our special night?" I said, laughing a little despite my efforts to stay poised and professional.

"If you think that's going to be a night off, I think you're mistaken."

"Hey, my job was to get people in the door. Colin's team can worry once they're in there."

"Fair enough," he said with an effortless smile.

Once we got to work, it all felt easy, natural. We kept our focus, working out locations for the dinner, deciding on a guest list, and so on. Even in the moments where our hands may have brushed together because we were reaching for the same pen or if we caught each other's eyes in a stray glance, we just enjoyed it for what it was and then moved on. I can't particularly say what we were doing or thinking. Emily thought we had clarity, but we instead lived in this limbo where we both knew we were attracted to each other, but we also knew we couldn't act on it so long as he was my superior. Perhaps what played out that day was a performance, a masquerade. But, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. It felt okay. It felt like maybe we could pull this off. Yet I knew some day, those little touches, those quick glances, those sly smiles, would accumulate into something more. Then those unresolved feelings would boil over and burn through me.

But, again, that was tomorrow's problem.

"Well, I think we can call it an evening," said Alec with a stretch. "I think we've got everything under control."

And it had been such a nice evening.

His words triggered a memory. My thoughts jumped back to a few days earlier when I had recklessly stood outside that closet door and listened in on a conversation I was never meant to hear.

"I have her under control. You don't need to bring Colin into this."

"Do you really?" she demanded with a vicious growl in her voice. "I was starting to think maybe she had you under control."

"Tamara, I can handle this on my own. It's time you back off and let me do my job."

"Under control?" I mumbled, discovering how fragile my hold over my emotions truly was and how foolish I had been to think we could just go through our days, just barely touching, but constantly testing the limits, without our emotions rebelling.

"What was that?" he asked as he started to pack up his things.

"You explained your relationship with Tamara, but you never explained what you meant by you had me under control."

"That's..." He looked past me as he chewed on his words. "It's just I had to tell the execs about the break in and somehow she found out it was you that did it. She's got that kind of talent. She has to know everything. Anyway the execs were pretty upset about it."

"Why wasn't I fired then?" I snapped. "Why wasn't I reprimanded?"

"Because I told them you were an invaluable employee and that I would take care of the situation. That's what I meant." He sounded confident, but I still didn't doubt my intuition. He was hiding something from me. "Don't worry about it, it's taken care of."

Or was it that I was taken care of?

"We really are doing well on this," he said, giving me a small smile that he struggled to maintain as he rose up and shouldered his bag, "and I think we shouldn't push ourselves. So why don't we head out for today?"

I couldn't tell if he was running or just as tired and scared as I was.

"Okay." Maybe I just wanted to catch him in a lie. If I found a reason to dislike him, then letting him just be my boss would be easier. Maybe it was all just in my head.

I too packed my things and I headed out into the Pit with Alec. We walked towards the elevators side by side, but I felt the tension between us. It was unnerving — a mixture of desire and distrust. The hairs along my arms rose and I felt my skin jumping as Alec pressed the button to call the carriage. Perhaps sensing the strained air between us, Alec turned to face me and changed the topic.

"So the gala is only a couple weeks away. You excited?"

It was small talk, but he was trying. I took a moment to take in a few steadying breaths and calm the nerves sparking across my skin.

"Yes, it will be nice to see the product of all our hard work."

"Do you have a date to dance with?"

It came out of left field and my breath disappeared before I could answer. I glanced up at the little sign above the elevator. The car was still several floors away, it wouldn't give me the needed disruption to avoid the question. I had to give him an answer, but how do I tell the man I can't be with that I don't have a date and that the only man I'd even want to dance with was the one I couldn't. Of course Emily may have had some good ideas about her seat arrangements and one dance request.

"No. I..."

"Lex!"

I jumped with surprise as Jean burst out from behind her cubicle. It took me a second to regain myself, but Alec was not so quick to hide the frustration darkening his face. I wondered if maybe it wasn't all small talk.

"Am I interrupting something?" asked Jean as she came to a stop before us.

"What is it Jean?" I asked, feeling my own frustration bubbling behind my words.

"You got a call. It sounded pretty urgent."

"Oh..."

I looked to Alec, uncertain whether I was happy about this sudden end to the conversation or not.

"Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded my head, thanked Jean, and went to my office, looking back just once to see a grim looking Alec step into the elevator. In my office, I could see the hold light blinking on my phone. I tried to think who could possibly be calling me for any urgent matter that late in the day, but I found I was too tired to care at that point.

"Hello."

"Hello Ms. Jeffries."

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

The voice sounded familiar, but phones always have a way of distorting things and I couldn't quite place my finger on who it was.

"Tamara Hudson from the president's office."

My mouth went dry. My eyes lost focus. My jaw tensed.

"I'm calling out of courtesy. Know, however, this isn't for your benefit. I could care less what happens to you, but the thing is, if you go down, he does too."

"W-what are you talking about?"

She couldn't possibly be talking about Alec, I thought. Why would she be talking about Alec? Of course, who else could she be referring to?

"Don't play coy. I know about you and Alec."

My stomach may have fallen straight through the floor and I was rapidly losing control over my lungs.

"Remember Ms. Jeffries, this is a software security company. If we're going to specialize in protecting people's computers and technologies, then of course we'll be doing the same with our own building."

She paused and I lost all use of my lungs. I wasn't sure when I had last taken a breath. One thing I knew, though, that I wasn't about to answer her. I wouldn't let her get the joy of hearing just how loudly my heart was beating inside my throat.

"This includes the executive patio."

I heard a low sort of chuckle and my teeth gritted together as my nostrils flared.

"You are very lucky I have a contact in the security office. He ever so kindly informed me of your little meetings with Alec up there. The footage of that kiss gave him quite a shock."

I wasn't able to hold it in any longer. I gasped with fear and cursed my own weakness.

"Fortunately, for you, I'm the only one that has seen this. I'm also the only one who has the record of the footage. Do you know why you still have a job Ms. Jeffries?"

She was toying with me like a cat toys with a mouse.

"Because of Alec," I responded through gritted teeth.

"Well, I suppose you are smarter than you look. Yes, Ms. Jeffries, I love Alec too much to let you ruin his career. As a result, you are also safe. However..."

She lingered, her voice trailing into thought. I kept telling myself to ignore her ploys, that I wouldn't fold to her. However, the suspense she was weaving was crushing my lungs and I needed to breathe.

"However what?"

"However, if I find that he's lost to me — if he's just hopelessly in love with you — then I won't really have a reason to protect him. I'll just have to do my duty for this company and report the transgression. Then no one will be happy. Who would want that?"

My free hand clenched into a fist and I swallowed down the hate that pulled at my throat.

"No, I suppose that would be unfortunate."

"So you understand only one of us needs to get hurt in this situation. I imagine you know who that is since you are so very clever."

She hung up the phone and I was left with the certainty that I'd lost before I'd even tried to win.

I pried my fingers from the phone and placed it back down. I gripped the edge of my desk and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. I just needed to get home. I needed to get away from that place. I, once again, grabbed my things and, once again, I found Alec just outside my door. He looked distressed and I wondered how much he could hear through the door. Although, even if he did hear anything, how much could he deduce from just my side of the conversation?

My hands shook as I grabbed the handle.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice a bit breathless. "I couldn't leave just yet. I need to be honest with you about something. Do you think we could go speak privately? Maybe we could go up to the patio..."

"No." I barked the word and both Alec and I were caught off guard by the ferocity behind it. I murmured an apology and pushed past him on my way to the elevator.

"Lex, are you okay?"

"I just need some sleep." I kept walking, but he simply kept pace.

"I'd really like to talk to you Lex. It's important and I don't think I can rest until I say something."

I thought back to Alec's awkward mention of the gala and about whether or not I had a date. I wondered if maybe he was about to surrender his feelings to me. That maybe he would openly admit that we couldn't go on pretending not to like each other.

I shook my head and pushed away those hopeful thoughts.

"I'm not paid overtime and I'm not obligated to work it. I'm sorry, but I need to go home."

I pushed the call button for the elevator and found that a car was already waiting for me. I got in and Alec was ready to follow, but with the little strength I had left, I managed to put my hand out.

"Please, don't." My words shook about as badly as my hands. I looked out past Alec, unable to meet his eyes, but instead I caught Jean's gaze, peering out from her cubicle with a look of concern darkening her usually cheerful face. "Please," I pleaded.

Alec backed away without a word and the doors closed. I leaned onto the cool metal walls of the elevator and then slid down to the floor, where I let the tears flow freely.

***

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