so i have a question after posting the last chapter

...do you guys ever sleep?

xDD

im kidding but dANG 

...but smae tbh...

;,)

sleep deprived nation woOoOoOOO

---

"We're back!~" Toga said cheerfully, though there was a slight edge and tiredness to her voice. I took in deep breath as I stumbled inside, Twice looking guilty beside me.

"What happened?" Shigaraki asked. "You all look like s***."

"Thanks for being kind," I mumbled absentmindedly, falling onto a chair.

Toga sighed. "It's not important right now."

"Even crazy is toned down?" Dabi asked, walking in. "What a wonder."

"Hey," I gave him a pointed look. "Don't."

Shigaraki grinned, though I didn't really notice. "I see."

"Your creepy grins are concerning," Dabi rolled his eyes and sighed, sitting down at the opposite end of the bar.

"Shut up," he grumbled, mood having dropped after the comment. "Anyways," he turned towards me. "We need to talk about your next missions soon."

I stiffened, turning towards him with an obviously worried look. "What?"

"Pfft," he laughed, "Did you think you'd just do one and be off the hook?"

I glanced down. "I..."

"I'll give you a break for now," he said, taking a drink. "But keep your friends in mind." He made a not-so-subtle throat slitting motion with his finger, sending a chill down my spine.

"Fine," I said through gritted teeth. "Just tell me what's next."

---

Running my hand through my hair, I sighed, cold air blowing past me. Will I ever be able to go back...?

Do you really want to?

My head slightly raised in surprise, as I hadn't heard the voice in a while. After a moment to process, I furrowed my brows. Why wouldn't I?

It seems like you've been having a perfectly good time here, haven't you?

I froze. I... No. I've been forced to comply. I don't have a choice.

You could've easily escaped ages ago.

I scoffed. Then they would've hurt my friends.

Friends? You mean the people who haven't even bothered to find you?

I'm sure they're trying...

You must've seen the news. Stop trying to lie to yourself. You're a villain. Look anywhere, you'll see it.

Shut up. Stop trying to mess with me.

The voice snorted. You think I'm lying? Why would I, ya dunce? I'm just telling you the truth. Spittin' straight facts.

It's hard to take you seriously when you talk like that.

You're talking to yourself. Most things can't be very serious. Anyways, you've been labelled as a villain and the police are hunting you down everywhere. I know you've noticed.

I gritted my teeth. Just be quiet. I'm sure there's a good reason.

Yeah, like the fact that they think you're a villain now and would do anything to capture you! Y'know, just like with literally anybody else who commits crime. You're not special, sis.

I turned my head despite the fact that it wouldn't keep the voice from speaking to me. "Just be quiet."

"Hmmm? Deku-Kun, you talkin' to yourself again?" Toga asked, peeking around the corner.

Slightly caught off guard, I stumbled backwards before straightening. "Uh... I guess..."

She giggled. "Great that we've got something in common." Her eyes were wild for a moment. "The voices tell me to do crazy things all the time!" After I stared at her with a concerned and undeniably freaked out expression for a few seconds, she broke out into a fit of laughter. "Oh c'mon, Deku-Kun. I'm just joking around. I mean, mostly."

My eyes widened. "Most-"

"Anyways, whatcha up to?" she asked, standing on her tippy toes and grinning.

"I'm just... Here...," I mumbled.

She frowned, falling flat on her feet. "Don't tell me you still wanna be a hero, Deku-Kun."

I looked away.

"But why?" she asked, both annoyedly and curiously. "You're a much better fit here. Nobody's judging you for being who you are and you get to have tons of fun."

I clenched my teeth. "Well I'm not too keen on ruining lives, thanks."

Toga looked a bit taken aback. "That's not everything, Deku-Kun. I mean, take a look at Stainy!" She grinned, staring at the sky. "He's my hero!! I wanna be him. I wanna kill him. Anyways," she quickly passed over her comments, "His head was in the right place. He just wanted for there to be real heroes and all that. Thought that everyone else was only in it for the money."

I furrowed my brows. Stain... Where have I heard that name...?

"Though that might not have been the best example since you almost killed each other," she casually mentioned, finger on her lip. "Well, I guess it's more like you almost killed him."

I did a double take, bewildered. "What?!"

She smirked. "Really? You don't remember? It was super bloody, Deku-Kun! I'm pretty sure the recording is plastered over the internet. It was super famous for a while."

I paused for a moment before finally speaking. "Show me."

Toga shrugged. "As you wish." She fished around in her pocket for a moment before pulling out her phone and pulling up the video. "Here ya go," she said, handing it over."

I glanced down at the phone, a fuzzy video beginning to play.

It opened in an alleyway located in Hosu (as evidenced by the time and area labelled in the corner) where a man stood in the shadows, knives glinting in the faint streetlight. He then stepped forwards, revealing himself to be a man who stood with a slight hunch, dressed in some sort of ninja gear.

Strangely, my head began to pound as it zoomed into the scene, with another figure walking in a few moments later. My eyes widened as faint voices began to play, one easily recognizable as my own.

"So, Stain," I had giggled, "How are youuu?"

The man scowled. "Deku." My skin paled as I watched. "I hear you've been trying to kill even worthy heroes."

"None of them deserve to live," Deku - or so I had labelled my counterpart as - grinned, a sort of sadistic glint in his eyes. "They're all a blight, wouldn't you say?"

Stain took a battle stance. "I determine who is fit to live or die."

Deku pouted. "Who put you in the position of a god?"

The man produced an annoyed sound before stepping forwards. "Get out of here, dumb kid. You don't know what you're messing with."

Deku smirked, snorting, and my blood ran cold. "You think you can beat me? Stainy, I think you're underestimating me now!"

"Fine then," Stain growled before running forwards. "I gave you a chance!"

With no hesitance, Stain bolted past Deku, narrowly missing him as he dodged. Deku, however, didn't look scared at all. In fact, when he turned, there was a wide grin present on his face. "That's all you have?"

Stain narrowed his eyes. "What are you playing at?"

Deku smirked, straightening himself. "I did my fair share of research, Stain." His voice was much more serious by this point, sending a chill down my spine. "You do know that I'm recognized for my ability to analyze, correct?"

"Quit your monologuing," Stain replied annoyedly, rushing forwards again.

"My, my, Stain," Deku easily dodged, seeming to have been toying with the man. "I heard you were much calmer and skilled in battle. I don't suppose I was wrong, then? Or," his eyes flicked towards the man mischievously, "Are you frustrated by me?"

Deku continued laughing as Stain made several futile attempts at his life. "I'm not going to let you hit me, Stain!" He grinned. "I know exactly what your quirk does. I'm not an idiot like your other targets."

Stain seemed to have dropped his guard slightly by that point, simply trying to focus on his attacks.

Of course, this was an awful mistake on his part.

With one swift motion, Deku grabbed onto the hilt of Stain's blade, before using his other hand to bend back the man's wrist, producing a crack. Stain bit back a shout but it was clear he was in pain as he dropped the sword, jumping backwards.

Deku grinned evilly, causing my stomach to churn. "Would you like to continue?"

My eyes were glued to the screen as Deku continued toying with the man - someone who was years older than him and had a quirk - before he eventually ended up as a bloody mess.

It took everything to keep the bile in my throat down.

"Well, then, Stainy," he smirked, snapping his glove down despite being splashed with blood, "See ya next time."

The clip then ended, but I simply stared, frozen. Was that really... Me?

"So yeah," Toga took her phone back, breaking me from my daze, "That's basically it." She giggled. "I was kinda mad at you at first for hurting Mr. Stainy, but then I was like 'That's soo cool!!'" She turned towards me, an innocent smile on her face. "Y'know?"

I blinked at her, remembering that she was a villain. She wasn't my friend. She wasn't a normal girl I was working with. She was a twisted, sick, villain.

"I mean," she continued, shrugging. "You guys did meet again later and somehow you scared him off from murdering some Sonic ripoff, but that's less interesting."

My eyes widened. Iida... His brother... I...

Toga tilted her head, waving her hand in front of my face. "Deku-Kun? You alright? You look awful."

I raised my head, barely able to keep myself from shaking. "I... I hurt so many people..."

"Well duh," she shrugged as if I had said something stupid. "But it's not your fault."

My head snapped towards her. "What... What do you mean?"

"You're clinically insane, for one," she pointed out. "But mostly because you were tortured like, your whole life." She raised a brow. "Don't you remember basically broadcasting that for half the world to see?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Dang. Memory loss blows I guess. Anyways," she explained, "According to your past self or whatever, you were bullied like your whole life. Especially by someone called 'Kacchan.'" I froze. Wait... "And you said something about All Might leaving you on a roof to die after crushing your dreams. Sounded pretty harsh. You even mentioned that you were gonna jump before realizing you could get revenge or something."

My body shook and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Tears began to pour from my eyes. Kacchan...? That's why I knew his name...? And... I bit my lip until blood was drawn, All Might...

"Not to mention you're quirkless and you were treated like total-" she glanced at me, seeing my terrified expression, "...trash... for all of that stuff."

I felt sick. I didn't know what to think. Did that mean...

It wasn't my fault?

Or...

Was I even worse than I had thought?

---

jesus christ so much angst

not to mention these dumb, cringey code/weirdly fonted thingies i'm posting smh

speaking of: 

,,˙ǝsolɔ os ɯ,I,,

have fun with that B)

don't cringe too hard :DDDDD

also

Thanks for reading! <3