**This chapter contains a flashback and description of domestic abuse and threatening words.  It could be a trigger for some readers***

After Blaine and Douglas finally left Friday night and Charlie went to bed,  I cleaned up the games and empty pizza boxes and took a long hot bath.

The truth was Dominic was never far from my thoughts.  I just kept in a special place in mind that was only for me.  If I let him out,  he would distract me and I would never have been able to be who I am today.  I would have never found the strength to fight John in court,  I wouldn't have finished school as a single mom and build my business to one of the most successful in northern California.   I knew he had gotten married not too long after Charlie was born.  I had thought of calling him or showing up on his door a million times after John.  He had been right about John.  I wanted to tell him I should have listened.  But when I heard he was happily married,  I put Dominic King in the box in my mind.  The most I let him out was when Charlie was ten.

We had move into a new house and Charlie came across a box of old photos.  A box the contained every photo of Dominic and I together ever taken.  Some of just him an some of him and Jensen and some of all three of us.  The Three Musketeers as Jensen nicknamed us.  Charlie had dropped the box and pictures went everywhere.   He had asked who the boys were so I spend the better part of the afternoon introducing him to my two best friends from high school including telling him of the pact and I thought he would forget all about it.  I was shocked when he brought it up. I should have known.  Charlie has always had the memory of an elephant.

And now Blaine knew and who knows what he would plan.  What if's filled my brain.  What if he doesn't even remember me?  What if he does but doesn't remember the pact?  What if he is married or with someone who makes him deliciously happy?  What if he doesn't care?

And then....what if he is thinking about me?  What if he is as lonely as I am?  What if he is planning on fulfilling his side of the pact?

I jumped out of bathtub now in a panic.  Even though there was a towel sitting right in the edge of the tub a scrambled around the bathroom to search for one.  Which made me slip on some water.  I landed right on my ass.  Humiliated even though no one saw me.  I stood up and started to grab the towel but caught my image in the mirror.  I really looked at myself.  I was about to turn 40.  And to my surprise.  I liked what I saw.  I was in great shape.  No extra anything anywhere.  My breasts were still were they should be.  My ass was tight high and round.  My legs were long and strong.  I had a few scars.  Battle Wounds.  Doctors had done an amazing job and you could barely see how bad they had once been. I looked at my face.  I knew where the scars were hidden but I didn't look 40.  I looked to be in my early to mid 30's.  Just last week someone asked Charlie if I was his sister.  He was embarrassed but I laughed the rest of the day about it. 

I wrapped the towel around me and went out into my bedroom to find something cozy to wear.  As I was changing, I noticed an envelope in the bottom of the drawer I gotten some fleece pants from.  I finished getting dressed and grabbed the envelope and walked over to my bed and sat down.  I grabbed my reading glasses from my nightstand.  Okay at least one thing on my body was definitely 40.  I put them on and opened the envelope.   I let out a gasp.

Why the fuck did I keep this?  Inside was a letter from John.  One I had used as evidence when we went to court.  It was the piece of evidence that got his parental rights taken away and helped put him prison,  where he still was. 

FLASHBACK 1998

"Please stop John!". I screamed.  My pleading did no good.  His fist slammed into the side of my head.  I tried to fight the dizziness and the light fading as I struggled to stay upright. Somehow I was able to get to the dining room table and find the voice recorder the domestic violence officer had given me and pressed record and hid it under some papers.

"You fucking whore.  Do I not do enough for you?  Do I not provide you and that little piece of shit you call a baby with everything you need?  Even when I know he is not mine.  You have been sleeping around so much you probably don't even know who it's father is!". John was out of control.  He was throwing anything he could find and most of it was being thrown at me. 

"John.  Please.  I have not been with anyone but you since the moment we got together.  I love you.  You are the best husband ever."

He rushed to me and slapped me across the face.  I felt my lip split.  He grabbed my face roughly. "And you are gonna show me just how good a husband I am.".

He pushed me to my knees and started unbuckling his pants.  Somehow I was able to get away and started running towards the door.  Thank God Blaine was still watching Charlie. 

John grabbed my feet and I fell face first onto the the tile floor of the entry hall.  Blood went everywhere and I knew my nose was broken.

He flipped me over and started punching me everywhere.  At some point he stood up and was kicking me.  Then I felt sharp pains in my side.  As I was blacking out,  I heard someone say, "John Myers,  step away from your wife and put your hands up."

END OF FLASHBACK

I spent 4 months in the hospital.  The first month in a coma.  My brain was so swollen from John kicking it they were worried about brain damage if and when I woke up.  My left arm was broken in two places.  My cheek bone  and my eye socket were shattered.  Teeth has been knocked out.  I thankfully don't remember but John had stabbed me 14 times in my side but missed any thing major everything time.  I had lost a lot of blood.  My left lower leg was broken from him twisting it and I would have a lot of hardware permanently put in.  I do not know who called the police that day.

Blaine and my sister, who came out to California took care of Charlie and brought him everyday to see me.  He wasn't even a year old so he fully didn't realize where his mommy was and what was wrong.
I amazed all the doctors and specialists.  I worked hard to learn to talk again.  That was the hardest.  Learning to walk on my new bionic leg was easier than I thought.  The orthopedist said the fact I was an athlete helped tremendously. In a year, I was back to running like I always had.  Headaches and flashing lights were the worse I dealt with after leaving the hospital.   But those lessened over the years and now only happen when I am stressed or overly tired. 

My main concerns were of course Charlie and what was going with John.  After making bail,  he had disappeared.  Law enforcement checked in with me everyday and Torey and Blaine found me a great little house in a gated community.  The landlord was spectacular and help us out with whatever we needed. 

One day about three months after I was out of the hospital, the letter that I was now holding in my hands showed up on my kitchen counter.  Blaine found it first and was crazy upset.  He immediately called the police.  He wouldn't let me read it at first. He finally relented right before the police arrived.

Bitch,

I wish you would have died that night.  You can never do anything right. 

Keep watching over your shoulder.  I was able to get inside your house you thought was safe.

I am going to kill that spawn of a child first and make you watch.

Maybe I will just make you live with that memory for the rest of your life.

Or should I kill the faggot and your sister too?

Your loving husband

John wasn't that smart because they caught him 30 minutes later watching the house from the neighbors yard. 

With the help of the recording, which I have never listened to in it's entirety and the letter,  John was charged with one charge of attempted murder, 3 charges of conspiracy to commit murder for Charlie, Blaine and Torey,  a whole bunch of battery and bodily harm related charges and some others.  He plead not guilty of course and forced us all to go through a lengthy trial.  In the middle of it all,  all I wanted was to contact Dominic.  I had support.  Great support.  But I needed him.  I just couldn't disrupt his life. 

John permanently lost his parental rights and was sentenced to 25 years to life.  I wish it had been a true life sentence.  He has been up for parole once already and I had to go and testify once again but his parole was denied for 10 years. 

The good parts about the ordeal is that it healed my sister and mine's relationship.  She became a huge part of Charlie's life.  Blaine became even more of my best friend and while I was in the hospital he met Douglas, who was then just an intern trying to decide what he wanted to specialize in. 

I folded the letter and put it back in my drawer thinking I really should burn it when there was a knock at my door.  Charlie stuck his head in a second later.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure Honey.  It's late though.  Can't sleep?"

He had his laptop with him.  I thought maybe he wanted to watch a movie like we did when he couldn't sleep when he was little.  He walked over and got on the bed.  I sat down next to him.

"Don't be mad okay?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"IlookedupDominiconline."

"What did you say?  That was too fast but it sounded like you said you looked up Dominic online.". I laughed.

"Yeah,  that's what I said."

My heart started beating a million times a minute.  I couldn't breathe.  I mean I had thought about it but I never did it.  I was afraid I would be disappointed. Did I want to know?

"Mom, are you okay?"

"It's not like I haven't thought about it over the years.  I knew I could just Google Dominic King.  But, um, like is his info on that screen right now?", I said pointing to his laptop.

"Not his whole life story.  Just what he does for a living and his bio on his work website."

"Is there a picture?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh my God.  Oh my God.". I got up and started pacing.  Charlie started laughing hysterically.  I stopped pacing and glared at him.

"Mom, you are acting like you are like 14!  Calm down.  You don't have to look at it.". He started to get up to leave.

"No!",  I didn't mean to yell that loud.

Charlie laughed again and went and sat on the bed with his back against the headboard.  He patted the empty side next to him.

I walked over and climbed up next to him.

"Ready?"

"As I ever will be."

Charlie opened the laptop.

"Mom you have to open your eyes.". He giggled.

I did.  One of them.  Then opened the other.  Straring back at me was Dominic King.  He looked exactly the same.  Okay not exactly the same but if  I had ran into on the street I would have known it was him no questions asked. 

"Wow. I would have known him anywhere.". I told Charlie.

"His eyes haven't changed".

"That's it!  You are right Charlie.  But how do you know that?"

"Confession.  I have looked at the box of pictures many times."

"Why?"

"Because you look happy.  A different happy than I have ever seen.  I like it.". I instantly tear up. I have the sweetest kid.

"Well let's not stop now!" I said as we both turned back to the screen.

John Myers