I could feel it. The exhaustion weighing me down. The pain from over-worrying about my cousin. The self-conscious part of me clawing at my mind and telling me I was nothing but a monster. A murderer. Nothing more than the contracted killer I was meant to be.

The voice told the truth.

That was my nightmare. The cold hard truth of me being a murderer, placing my actions among the 'good' that I claim I'm doing. I wondered if anyone else in the group felt the same way.

Natasha was molded into an assassin. Steve transformed into the super soldier to end a whole world war. The Hulk was always angry, bottled up inside of Banner, waiting to be cracked open at any time like some twisted Jack in the box. Tony used to believe he didn't have a heart and took the world on his own, conquering plans using money and his wit. Thor used to be a loose canon and his over-confidence nearly got him killed.

Peter was too emotional when it came to things and it led to Gwen's accidental death. That didn't make him a monster or a weapon. It made him human. And Clint...he...wasn't as much of a monster as the rest of us. He had a tough childhood, but that didn't make him into a terrible guy. Maybe he was too trusting. That didn't make him a monster, though, or a weapon of any kind.

My mind wandered with thoughts as I sat in a chair next to Peter's bed. My head hung back as I craned my neck to find the perfect position to sleep in. My cousin had taken days of just sleeping to recover. He was hardly awake for any of it and sometimes, his heartbeat dropped greatly. The doctors said he would be fine, after the medicine stopped fighting against him and started working with him.

"Hey, kiddo," Logan tapped me on the shoulder.

I groaned and didn't move a muscle. "What..."

He pinched my cheek like a child. He knew I hated when he did that, but it made me pay attention to him. I opened my eyes as he continued to speak, "It's my last day here. Come with me on a bike ride, for old time's sake."

Bike rides with Logan...that brought back so many good memories. My first picnic. First beer. First cigarette. First time finding out that I hated smoking. I nearly smiled, but it faltered quickly. I felt obligated to stick by Peter's side. If my reaction time was quicker, he wouldn't have been shot. This was my fault.

"I'll watch over him. Go have fun," Bruce declared, sitting on the other side of Peter. He thumbed through new scientific research on the internet and his brown eyes glanced up to look at me through his glasses. He smirked slightly and waited for me to get up and leave.

I nodded. "Thank you." I stood up and followed Logan to the garage to retrieve his motorcycle.

Sleek black material padded the seating and the metal on the motorcycle shined as if it were new. Two small, brown leather bags clung to the back of the bike for storing whatever materials he took with him on his trips. Logan turned it on and the engine roared to life like a dragon. "Don't you just love the sound?" he questioned and grinned. He sighed in pleasure and left room for me to take a seat.

"I've missed the purr of your bike..." I trailed off after getting on. I've missed a lot of things in my life. Family. Friends. I missed being on missions in different areas of the world. I missed life in general. I've been kept up in this shell of murder for what is right and I never stopped to think of all the precious time I had wasted. I could have saved lives instead of killed, or even made a life for myself.

I was over-thinking things. I had to stop. I was always so overdramatic.

It took a while, but Logan finally chose a spot to sit in a random parking lot. He stopped the engine and parked the bike. He grabbed two beers out of the bag and handed me one as we walked over to the green grass area of the park. He plopped down on the ground and groaned, "Seeing you right now makes me feel old, Kid."

"Why?" I popped open the bottle and clinked it against his before taking a drink.

Logan's finger traced the label slowly. "I raised you. Now that you've stopped aging, I won't have to see you grow old. It's the fact that you're grown up that makes me feel like an old man." He stretched his legs out and drank some beer.

A moment of silence swept in and echoed the sounds of the park. Children played near the pond full of squawking ducks. Dogs barked and scampered around in a joyful move. Parents took pictures and called out to their kids. Cars buzzed by on the streets and horns honked. Bugs sang the song of their people and birds flew by, picking off their next meals from the ground.

Logan wrapped his arm around my shoulder and tugged me closer. "I remember when we used to sit outside and just look at the stars." A smile formed on his lips and a small chuckle arose from him. Fond memories played through his mind. "We would make up ridiculous stories and laugh..."

A light bulb lit up in my head. "Yeah. Remember there was a story where you said that there was a lady from outer space that created the craters on the moon? And she ended up starting a war with the moon people?"

Logan laughed fully this time. His eyes sparkled at the thought. "Oh yeah. Those were hilariously ridiculous. You were young, so I couldn't tell you anything too graphic. You had already seen so much destruction..." He swallowed some more beer and licked his lips. "I loved the story where your powers saved all of us from a villain. You were so creative when it came to you and the situation. You talked for hours and put so much effort into it...Coulda gotten famous if you wrote it, you know."

"I was thirteen. What did I know about writing a book? Plus, it is pretty cliché." I finished my drink off and watched Logan light up a cigarette. I used to laugh when he did that when I was little because Jean would walk by and smack it out of his hand. She scolded him for smoking near a child and gave me a lollipop. Jean... "How is everything back home?"

Logan hesitated and let go of some smoke in his mouth. He flicked the ash off of the front and took another drag. "Everything's fine. After my blast from the past, life became better. More peaceful. More...family oriented. Less dramatic and heartbreaking. Everyone is doing great. Bobby and Kit are together. Stor-"

I cut him off in sheer excitement, "They're finally together? God, it's about time!"

He rolled his eyes and finished off his beer. He exhaled loudly. "Yup. Storm is taking college level classes to get a degree. Wade is...well....Wade. Rogue has a love interest."

"Oooo, that sounds awesome." I paused for a second and retraced what he said in my mind. "Wait...Blast from the past? What happened?"

"Long story short, I went into the past and saved the future. It uh...had to deal with the sentinels. You remember bits and snippets of that story."

I glanced down at the grass. That event was the reason Stryker wanted to duplicate the sentinels...

Logan set the empty bottle down. He licked the front of his teeth and looked down at the ground as well. He almost shook with every word he spoke, "You uh...you were killed in the future. I watched it happen with my own eyes...The sentinels had the ability to stop a mutant from using their powers with just contact to their skin. They held you down in a tub of acid until you stopped writhing...Then they locked you in there so you would never regenerate. It was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen, even to this day..."

My heart stopped. Imagining it sent chills down my spine and gave me goose bumps. It wasn't the fact that I was killed that scared me. It was the fact that Logan had to watch it happen. The sentinels were out hunting mutants and slaughtering them. I was made to do the same. My future could have ended up like that. Being a bounty hunter to exterminate my own kind sounded...hypocritical.

Logan saw me faze out of the moment and pulled me back in. He changed the subject to lighten things up, "You should come home sometime. Everyone misses you."

"Tell them I love them. I'll make it back one day. I promise." Promise. I just hope I can keep it this time...

Logan set his arms on his legs and his brown eyes looked out onto the horizon. "I really miss ya Lilly. Not having you there is weird. Everyone talks about you being this amazing person and their hero, and all this stuff...The kids really look up to you."

I scoffed. Children looking up to me? That took me by surprise. "They should look up to you guys. The X-Men are pretty badass and have stopped a few apocalypses."

"Yeah...well..." He trailed off and let a small silence kick in. He wanted to say something, but didn't know how to. I could see it on his face. His eyes landed on me to gain my attention fully. "I saw you tear up that woman the other night. You ripped her apart from the inside out."

I began to fidget with my hands nervously. Knowing him, he could say anything and mean it. Maybe he would say I'm a monster...

"You've got to take control of yourself. You can't just go around doing that. Nobody deserves that kind of death."

I shrugged my shoulders and tried to hold back the sick feeling in my stomach. "I don't know what happened. I was just so angry..."

He interrupted me, "Yeah, and then you went bat shit crazy. That fucker deserved it, but seriously Lilly. Don't get too out of hand like that. Your power is supposed to be for good, not evil."

Evil... "I was going to kill her anyway. That's what we do. Kill bad guys," I pointed out.

"Yeah. Just try not to let your anger get the best of you."

Logan drove back to the tower and grabbed his bag from the guest bedroom. On his way down, he passed by Steve and Bruce and bid them farewell. Steve made eye contact with me and smiled as he walked down the hall.

That was...different.

Logan went to say goodbye to Peter, but he was still sleeping. He signed his Get Well card on the side table and said he was a good kid. No doubt that Peter would fanboy when he saw it.

We came across Tony upon entering the living room.

"What, metal bones is leaving so soon?" Tony questioned as he squeezed by us.

Logan shot him a glare. "At least I'm strong enough to not need help from technology."

"And let me remind you how you got that way. Being injected with the strongest metal on the planet using technology is kind of a big deal, Wolverine," Tony shot back.

For some reason, they didn't get along. I didn't know if they were just butting heads or what, but it needed to stop.

Logan whispered under his breath, "Asshole." Before Tony could say a comeback, Logan flipped him off.

That surely made Tony shut up. Before he could leave, I apologized to him quietly for Logan's actions. Logan wasn't really controllable sometimes and didn't play nice with others that had Tony's sarcasm. Tony nodded and walked out of the room.

Natasha rose from the couch. It was movie night for her and Clint, so they had been watching a scary movie. Sometimes, I could hear Clint scream during a jump scare and Natasha would laugh at him. "Don't worry about Tony. He gets cranky when he doesn't see Pepper for a long time."

"It's not a problem." Logan hugged Nat. "Nice seeing you again, Natalia."

"Natasha. It's Natasha now." She smiled slightly and continued, "Be safe."

Barton walked out of the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. He reached out to shake Logan's hand. "Nice meeting you."

Logan firmly shook his hand and looked at him square in the eye. "You take care of my little Natali-Natasha or I will come back, and it won't be on good terms."

"Don't worry, she has that covered already. If I do anything, she'll be the one to kill me," Barton admitted and chuckled. He sat down with Natasha and played the movie.

Logan was about to enter the elevator until he pulled me in for a bear hug. "Take care. Call me if you need anything. Alright? I'm always up to fight some villains."

I nodded and patted him on the back. "I will. Don't get into any danger on the way home." He laughed and commented with something under his breath. I watched the elevator doors close and take away the only other man I had considered a father. Hopefully I don't have to call him if we need help...I don't want to endanger more lives. I just hope Loki is easy to defeat and the government trusts us to do the job correctly.