girlfriend?

namjoon couldn't even believe the text he was reading.

throughout the two weeks they had been talking, they had only gone on two dates. and throughout both of them, namjoon felt horrible.

he had zero attraction to the girl. sure, they had fun together and got along pretty well, but he just didn't see her... like that.

she was sweet and funny and namjoon really did enjoy her company (which was pretty surprising considering how anti-social he was), but he knew deep down that nothing would ever come from it. nothing more than a friendship, that is.

he hadn't been flirty with her whatsoever- not that he knew how to be flirty. and he had avoided all advances made towards himself. he was also terrible at speaking to her and was pretty clammy and awkward whenever he was with her.

that's why namjoon couldn't wrap his head around why she had even wanted to go on a second date with him. and now she was asking to be his girlfriend?

what?

namjoon just sat there and stared at the text on his phone, having no idea how he was gonna respond.

it's not like he could just say no. he had no reason not to like the girl. she was smart, beautiful, funny, kind, outgoing.

why couldn't he just like her?

it would make things so much easier.

namjoon just sat there, thinking a bit more.

soon, his mind began drifting to things he'd rather be thinking about.

or, to rephrase, someone he'd rather be thinking about.

jimin clearly thought areum was pretty. he clearly wished he was the one who she asked out. it was obvious on his face every time she came up to them in class or talked to joon.

and something about having what jimin wanted encouraged namjoon to go on with the whole charade even more.

he liked jimin not being able to have her.

he liked jimin being single.

it was selfish. beyond selfish, actually, but namjoon just couldn't help it.

jimin made him crazy, made him do things he would never otherwise do.

so, with a sigh, namjoon began writing out a response to the text.

he knew if he broke things off with the girl, rumors would start circulating again, just like they had at his old school.

and he couldn't deal with the constant whispers behind his back about how much of a gay ass he was.

not again.

especially after he worked so hard to get the rumors to go away, to prove to everyone that he was a normal, basic, straight guy.

so, without giving it another thought, namjoon agreed to be the girls' boyfriend.

as soon as he sent the text, guilt immediately hit him.

he didn't like the girl. he knew he didn't.

the more guilt namjoon felt, the more he tried to convince himself that it could still possibly work out.

namjoon always took a while to come around to people. he always needed time to get to know them. maybe if he got to know the girl, his feelings for her would grow.

maybe?

the thought put namjoon's mind at ease slightly, so he stuck with it.

but, as soon as he started to relax, the thought of jimin filled his head again.

the thought of the adorable, sweet, beautiful boy just reminded namjoon of how screwed he really was.

and then, just to add to his anxiety, he realized that agreeing to date the girl, meant that he would have to go out on more dates with her.

"great," namjoon thought, as more worried thoughts filled his head.

the two dates were already hard enough for him, but now he was supposed to go through that again?

namjoon shut off his phone and closed his eyes, desperately trying to fall asleep, even though with all his worrying he probably would be up all night.

the only thought that kept him going was the knowledge of getting to see jimin the next day.

_____________________________

welp... joonie's got himself a girlfriend😩