it was the night after jimin and namjoon had their fight and it had been almost nine hours since jimin left joon's house, fuming. they hadn't spoken and neither one of them had reached out to the other.

namjoon wanted nothing more than to talk to jimin, but sung-ha had advised him against making any sudden moves until he calmed down.

namjoon had been so frantic and crazy, he couldn't even tell sung-ha what had happened. he couldn't do anything but cry all day. he had trapped himself in his room for the remainder of the night and cried into his pillow all evening. he kept on replaying everything that happened and wondering where he went wrong.

it was pathetic.

sung-ha had tried to cheer him up, tried to talk to him, but namjoon just ignored every knock at his door.

he didn't know what to say.

he didn't even know what had happened.

what changed?

what made jimin go from being so supportive to being so furious with him in just an instant?

it wasn't until almost eight-thirty hit, that namjoon heard another knock at his bedroom door.

"joonie, can i please come in?" he heard his grandfather say, "just let me check on you.., i made you some dinner."

namjoon considered it for a moment.

he eventually sniffled and nodded, then realized his grandfather couldn't see him.

"okay," he said, weakly, waiting for him to come in and see how pitiful he looked.

sung-ha opened the door, with a tray of food in hand.

he frowned when he saw namjoon, then walked over to set the tray on his bedside table.

he sat down on the edge of the bed beside namjoon and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him.

namjoon still had his eyes clenched shut, knowing if he opened them again, he would cry.

"do you want to tell me what happened, joon?" he asked, softly, "what did jimin say?"

namjoon just shook his head into his pillow, eyes still closed.

"he got upset, huh?" sung-ha asked, "that he didn't get in?"

joon didn't reply.

sung-ha frowned.

"did he say something that hurt you, joonie?" he asked.

namjoon nodded.

"you know he didn't mean it, joon," he said, "not that it makes it okay, but you know how he is. he has strong feelings. he can be a bit... dramatic... sometimes."

namjoon finally opened his eyes, revealing his tears. he just shook his head slowly.

"i don't understand," he said, as his voice embarrassingly cracked, "why... why he got like that. he was so, so angry, grandpa. i-i've never seen him like that before. it was like... like he hated me," he continued, still crying, "he was fine with me leaving before. he told me to. i-i don't know what changed. what... what h-happen-"

sung-ha shushed him in a comforting way as namjoon got more worked up, clearly still shaken up from the argument.

"it's alright, joon," he said, "you know he doesn't hate you. you know that's not true."

"i-i don't know," namjoon said, voice still shaking, "he told me that he was r-really upset that i... that i was going. and he just... got so mad about it. a-and he was trying to act like i wasn't upset, too. like... like i didn't care or something."

sung-ha nodded.

"he- he told me that i should just go," joon said, biting his bottom lip, "but he... h-he said he wouldn't wait up for me if... if i left. he said that i-i should just go and meet someone else."

namjoon was so heartbroken that he almost couldn't bare it, with more tears streaming down his face.

"i understand him being upset— i do. i am, too," joon said, "but i never thought he'd take it that far."

sung-ha nodded.

"... joonie, i'm so sorry," he said, fingers still running through his hair in an attempt to calm him down, with a sorrowful look on his face.

sung-ha was surprised that jimin would say that, but at the same time, he wasn't.

and it seemed it had clicked for namjoon, too, when he spoke up.

"i didn't fully understand it in the moment..," joon started, "but i think... maybe he was wanting to come with me anyway, you know? maybe he was expecting me to ask... maybe he wanted me to tell him to come even though he didn't get in. h-he said he was mad that i just gave up. maybe... maybe that's what he meant."

sung-ha nodded, having had the same thought.

there was a moment of silence and they just looked at each other.

"... you wouldn't let that happen, though," sung-ha said, "would you?"

namjoon paused for another minute, before speaking up.

"i mean... he has to know i want him to come. more than anything. of course i've thought about it," joon said, "but he can't. the same reason he was making me go is the same reason that he has to stay here. i wouldn't do that to him."

sung-ha nodded in reply.

"i mean... he's nineteen. he's just starting his life.., starting school," namjoon said, shaking his head, "what is he thinking? he's gonna... put everything on pause for three years and follow me to seoul?"

there was another pause.

"it would be a dream for me, but deep down he'd be miserable, you know? and his mom would hate me for sure. he already promised her he would finish his schooling... his mothers putting in so much money for him to go," namjoon said, "he has to finish. he has to stay here."

sung-ha nodded again.

"i think you're doing the right thing," he started, "but he... he really wanted to go with you, joonie. he had his heart set on it. it's probably hurtful to him, you know? you're going off to this big fancy school and leaving him here. he's stuck in a small town at a small school on his own. he looks at it like... you're moving up, you're moving on to bigger and better things and he's not," he said, "i can only imagine he feels almost... inadequate, compared to you, joon. that has to be part of it. he shouldn't feel that way, but you can see why he might, can't you? i know you don't see it like that... you always have such good intentions. you always try to do what's best. but i'm sure it's hard for jimin to see things the way you do right now. it's hard for him to see it any other way when he's so.., disappointed."

namjoon knew he was right, but that didn't stop the pulsing in his chest and the tears falling from his eyes.

"i know," joon said, "you're right. i'd feel bad, too.., i'd feel horrible if i was in his position."

namjoon paused, before speaking up again.

"i should just call him. i should just tell him it's off. fuck the school. it's not worth it to me."

sung-ha just shook his head.

"joonie, you know that's not going to fix anything," he said, "jimin needs to figure it out on his own.., he has to figure out the right choice by himself. he'll come to you when he's ready. then you guys can talk... make it better."

namjoon just sat there, not liking the idea of more time passing without them speaking.

"you think so?" joon asked, "what... what if he never gets to that point?"

sung-ha just looked at him for a moment and he didn't respond.

"you need to put yourself first right now, joonie," he said, "jimin will come around. i know that. you know that. it's just a matter of time, okay? just focus on school right now and getting ready. you two will be fine."

namjoon nodded, trying to believe what his grandfather was saying as if it was factual.

"me and jimin will be fine."

he kept telling himself that, like he was trying to brainwash his mind into feeling okay again.

"he had a moment of anger and rage, and he's dealing with the consequences of that right now," sung-ha said, "he's human. he made a mistake. and if he's a good one, he'll apologize for it."

namjoon paused.

his grandfather was right.

jimin was good.

jimin had a heart of gold.., that— on occasion— could get pushed too far.

but he was good.

and namjoon knew it.

"right," namjoon said, nodding.

sung-ha gave him a small smile.

"love can be hard sometimes, joonie," he said, standing up from the bed,

"but it's worth it."

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thank u sm to the few of u that are still reading with my horrendous upload schedule😭 yall are the best

but omg i just wanna write soft chapters,,, this is making me depressed ixisbsndnc but i have to follow my plot line 😤😤😤