jimin walked into the small little coffee shop like he did most days, looking across the café and seeing his boyfriend sitting and waiting for him. he was intently reading some novel, with both their drinks and danish sitting on the table.

jimin sighed, before walking over and sitting down across from him.

namjoon didn't look up at him yet, clearly finishing the sentence he was reading in his book, before grabbing the bookmark to mark his place and setting the book down on the counter.

"hey," he said, "drinks should be cooled off by now."

namjoon grabbed the coffee and slowly took a sip, not paying any mind to the boy sitting across from him with a look of dismay all over his face.

it took a few more moments of silence for namjoon to realize something was up with his boyfriend, quickly looking over to him.

"you okay?" he asked, with a small laugh.

jimin nodded.

"i am."

namjoon set his drink down and looked at him.

"jimin, what's wrong?"

jimin squinted.

"nothing wrong with me," he said, putting emphasis on the last word.

jimin stopped for a minute, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"what about you?"

namjoon suddenly looked a bit nervous.

"what? nothing's wrong."

"nothing?" jimin asked, "really?"

namjoon gulped, before nodding.

"really.., nothing."

jimin just looked away.

"really? no... arguments... or conversations... or..," he paused for a moment,

"offers from your dream school?"

namjoon immediately looked up at him, completely shocked.

it was quiet for a second, the two just looking at each other.

"you know?" namjoon asked, lowly, concern in his voice.

"of course i do," jimin said, a serious expression on his face, suddenly looking distressed, "what... you thought i'd never figure it out? i know when something is on your mind, namjoon. you can't lie to me like that. you know better."

namjoon just sat there for a moment, thinking through what to say.

"i-i didn't lie, jimin. there's nothing wrong... i'm completely happy and content right now," he said, "i got an offer from some school? big deal. it's not like i'm going."

jimin just stared at namjoon for a moment.

that's what he wanted to hear. he didn't want namjoon to go, of course he didn't. he didn't even want him to consider it. all he wanted was for namjoon to stay, but he knew the likely reason he had for not going and jimin wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he knew namjoon missed the opportunity for him.

a part of him wished hoseok hadn't told him, wished namjoon never admitted it, wished he never knew. because if he never found out, it would have never even been a question. jimin wouldn't have to feel so responsible, so selfish for wanting to stay with namjoon forever.

jimin felt anxious and scared, barely even processing everything that was happening.

tears were in his eyes and he couldn't even pinpoint when they formed, probably in the silence at some point while processing his thoughts, or possibly before he even told namjoon he knew. he just knew that he was scared.

"some school?" jimin asked, clearly feeling a mixture of emotions, "namjoon, it's seoul national university offering you a scholarship to go study there for free. to learn writing... to open doors for yourself. you're seriously going to sit here and tell me that doesn't matter to you?"

namjoon just shrugged, biting into his danish.

"i mean... it's cool. i appreciate it, but i don't need to go. i'm happy here with my grandfather... with the school... with you. i don't need anything else."

there it was.

that simple sentence said it all.

"i don't need to go."

jimin paused for a second, blinking a few times to hide the tears.

"you want to go, though," he said, with a crack in his voice, "i know you do."

namjoon looked directly at him, making eye contact.

"it doesn't matter, jimin. i'm not going," namjoon said, firmly, "if the options are to stay with you or go to some fancy school, i'm gonna choose you. i'm always gonna choose you."

jimin's face fell immediately, processing what namjoon had said.

jimin knew deep down if he wasn't here namjoon would have accepted the opportunity right on the spot. he knew that. namjoon was trying to give up his dream in order to stay with him.

jimin felt like breaking down, like rolling up into a ball and never seeing the light of day again. it felt like his whole world was crashing down on him and he was the one causing it.

"namjoon, you can't miss this opportunity," jimin said, "that would be... crazy. you have to go."

namjoon looked upset, with clear emotion on his face.

"you want me to go?" namjoon asked, making eye contact with him, jimin now noticing tears in his eyes as well.

the two stared at each other for a moment, both obviously hurt and scared.

"no!" jimin lashed out, tears finally falling, "of course i don't. i want you to stay with me and never leave my side. and i want... i want to get married and get a shitty apartment together after we graduate and hold you while watching sailor moon every night, but i can't do that. that's selfish, namjoon. you're... you're so talented. you're made for more in this world. i know you are. if you seriously give this up to stay with me... i'll never forgive myself. i can't let you hold yourself back to be with me."

namjoon paused.

"i don't want to go, jimin, i don't," he said, a single tear now rolling down his cheek, "i'm not going to leave you. i... i can't."

the two just sat there in the middle of the café staring at each other, both boys crying from the predicament they were in.

"you do," jimin said, more tears falling, his little eyes all red, "and you're going. you have to."

namjoon shook his head.

"jimin..," he said, tears falling as well, "i can't do it without you. i...i need you. how am i supposed to go to a school like that by myself?"

jimin smiled, more tears falling.

"you don't need me, joon. maybe at the beginning of the year, but not anymore. you've got this one on your own."

namjoon just sat there for a minute, trying to process what was happening.

"you..," namjoon stopped himself, scared to even ask the question coming to his mind, "...what will this mean? like... for us. we'll still stay together, right? of course we will."

both of their faces were wet with tears, just looking at each other.

it fell silent for a moment and jimin knew deep down what the reasonable answer was. they would be hours and hours apart. they would never see each other. it would be impossible with how busy school would keep them. they were going to be on different sides of the country. it would never work.

"of course," jimin said, "of course we'll stay together."

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