Eavesdropping was not on the cards, but it just happened. Having heard everything that Dhruv had to say about us has shattered me from my core. I can have a face-off with him at this very moment, but with Yashika conveniently intruding us, I find myself unable to utter a word. Before talking to Dhruv however, I need to talk to Yashika. I have been an insensitive and indifferent person to her, and I find it necessary to make amends. My new life with Dhruv can begin only after I find a closure with Yashika. I can no longer continue avoiding people. It is doing me and those around me more harm than good.

"I'll leave. You two can talk it out." Dhruv gets up and heads back inside. He could go anywhere for that matter, but I cannot escape this torment.

I take the seat that Dhruv occupied earlier. When I finally look into Yashika's eyes, they have a sense of calm in them, and not anger, as I had assumed. "I am sorry." Sorry. Sorry. That's all I have been saying. I doubt if I even mean it now. An apology as a conversation starter is not the best deal, but I must do something.

"What should I do with your sorry?" she asks me.

I shrug. "I don't know. I have nothing else to say."

"You should have a lot to say. An explanation would do the deal."

"I don't know why I owe an explanation to anyone."

"Your actions are not limited to you. They affect a lot many people out there. Even if we keep our businesses aside, the families would need an explanation."

"Mine wouldn't."

"They knew?"

"Yes. They found out about it very recently."

"And they concealed the fact?"

"They pushed for the engagement to take place earlier then planned."

"In the hopes that you might go on the 'correct' path?"

"More so like a mandated one. One that is normalized. Naturalized to the extent that all others feel like distractions. Diversions."

"When did you fall for him?"

"I don't know. Sometime when we were working together. I could be myself around him."

"And you could not be yourself around me?"

"Getting into a business marriage does not allow one to be themselves. Looking at Jagat and Tara is witnessing a circus. Those two are very different. The only thing they agree upon is that I and Dhruv are shitty. They'll have to pretend to be made for each other. That's what I tried to do as well- pretend to be the correct one for you. I took upon my role as the ideal son of my family who'd never go astray too seriously."

"You are far from ideal. Don't you know?"

"I have always known that. I might have put up a better pretense than you think."

"I agree. You pretended to be interested in me..."

"I never pretended that. I was never interested in you."

Yashika's eyes get teary. She looks away and blinks away her tears. "You bastard.", she mutters under her breath. "How could you say that out loud?"

"I could never bring myself to like you. I might say anything and it would sound like an excuse. So I'd rather say the truth."

"Truth. You should have said that much earlier. Breaking off this engagement is difficult now."

"I know. We can either be in an unhappy marriage together, or lead separate lives happily."

"Marrying you? After all of that running away? Please, Vansh. I loathe the sight of you. I detest the way you dealt with things."

"I am not the best person to deal with people."

"Who said you need to be the best? You just need to be someone with a conscience and an innate understanding of social cues." She gets up and grabs her bag. "Make it work with him at least. Provided he accepts you." Saying thus, she leaves.

I sit in my place, pondering over my next course of action. I have never made hasty decisions in my life. Well-calculated moves enabled me to anticipate any repercussions beforehand, and plan accordingly. I did not merely make haste regarding this entire situation, but handled it in the worst manner possible. Three lives are now at stake due to my mistakes. Nobody is willing to forgive. Nobody is willing to accept me. I am in a no-man's land in my current situation. My family has been exceedingly quiet on this matter too, which is escalating my worries. It offers no solace or solution, but makes me apprehensive about how my life would pan out from here on. That I am getting kicked out of the board is final and I don't even need to know about it.

My phone rings. Dad. I answer it. I cannot keep avoiding them forever. "Yes."

"How could you run away?", he yells into the phone. "And why did you not answer?"

"I knew you would react this way."

"That is no excuse."

"Everyone thinks I am making excuses. Nobody wants to listen to what I actually have to and want to say. Nobody's giving me a chance to explain myself." I have started sobbing by now. "I always lived as your son, as the heir of Shah Industries. But what of me? I don't even know who I am yet. I have spent 31 years of my life in vain, and have reached nowhere. Nowhere. Do you realize the kind of life I am living?"

"I gave you everything..."

"But you never asked me if that was what I actually wanted. You never did." I am yelling into the phone now.

"You are so ungrateful!"

"So are you! I lived my life for you. Would you now be satisfied if I die for you? Should I just do that? The problem ceases to exist if I die. I'll die. I'll just..."

He disconnects the line. I sit, weeping my heart out. I feel hands around my shoulders which slowly pull me into an embrace. Dhruv.  It is comforting and disconcerting at the same time. I wail now, unable to hold my emotions any longer. He pats me on my back, at a uniform pace. I feel his nose and lips nuzzled in my hair. For the first time perhaps, I have cried in such a distraught manner. I am about to lose everything, and if he rejects me too, I'll be done for. "Can you not,", I ask him through my sobs, "accept me?"

He does not answer. I hold him, only to cry further.

***

A week later, I am heading back to Mumbai. Dhruv is seeing me off at the airport.

"When would we meet again?", I ask him.

"I have no clue.", he answers without looking at me.

Mayank looks at me through the rear view mirror. I look away. I am in no condition to look at anyone after being discarded my the man for whom I gave up everything. I want to blame Dhruv, but a greater part of the blame lies with me. Dhruv would be nothing more than a lame excuse to hide my own faults.

I was told by my family that if I returned in a week, I would remain a director on the board. The other directors liked the plan that Dhruv created for the energy supply for the schools and the village, and other elaborate plans of his, half of which, I still am unaware of. I just handed over the things to them, and they now want to take it forward. Dhruv alone, has saved my position. And I, for my own self-preservation, am retuning to the hell hole. I am doomed for life.

Nevertheless, I must do something. I must have power of my own. If I do not exercise my power as a director, I am going to end up a pushover. Being one would be of no help, but bring about a flood of disadvantages. I have to be taken seriously first to have control over my life. Nothing should be able to shake me. I won't give them that chance.

When I return to Dhruv, I must have made a mark for myself. I must return as a stronger man. I am determined to turn the tide in our favour.

***

A month passes by in a flurry. The directors, for the first time, seem to be happy with what they think is my brainchild. Little do they know it is not, but I ride my success on Dhruv's efforts. I am cheating in a way-- on myself, on him-- but I call it irrelevant considering the present circumstances. I have attained a greater level of autonomy ever since the board meeting which took place the day after my return.

My family does not speak much about all that transpired. They keep it low. I spend most of my time in my flat, avoiding my parents equally well. I consider them to be less troublesome and meddling than my sister and brother-in-law. Nevertheless, I now finally understand Dhruv's position on keeping away from his family. Judging eyes, insults, a sheer disgust- all of these are indeed difficult to bear.

We haven't spoken ever since I returned home. There is nothing to say. I have run out of apologies. He ran out of his reasons to keep me away. Mutually, it was understood that we need our own space away from each other. I have prodded Palak to ask Mayank how Dhruv's doing, and she says she did, but Mayank refused to answer. He is the same person who called up Palak to inform me about Dhruv when he slit his wrist. I don't know what is transpiring around me; I fear the worst, while praying for it to not happen.

Yashika has kept in touch. We talked quite a lot of times, trying to come up with a perfect story to end our engagement. It was not as easy as we considered it to be. Our families refused our suggestions first, saying that we may carry on with our personal lives on the side so long as we get through with this marriage. It sounded funny to us then, it sounds funny to me now upon recollection. They'd rather have scandal than follow pure logic and take the necessary measures. Anyways, we somehow convinced them, and then started working on the story. Amidst all of this, we ensured that the business deals between the two families stayed as they are. We couldn't risk that. There have been negotiations on the business end now, and it would somehow affect the larger picture, but what's done is done. Next week, both companies would release a joint statement about the end of the engagement. There have been rumours around already, and they would get concretized in a week's time.

I am then to embark to Jaisalmer for the next three months to oversee the project. I won't be just in Jaisalmer. I'll be travelling across Rajasthan to strike more deals. Weirdly enough, I am to stay at the haveli. I thought it would wreak havoc, but things have been rather silent. Nobody is saying anything. One thing I am sure of is that Dhruv would not remove himself from there under any circumstances. His safe haven shall remain there for him. I don't know how we shall face each other, but let's see how it goes.

***

When I arrive at Jaisalmer, there's no Dhruv to receive me at the airport. I sit in the car and commence my lonely journey to the haveli. Dhruv's car is in the parking space. I smile. I am more eager to see him than I thought. I enter through the entrance next to the parking lot and go around calling his name. No reply. I look at Palak who is standing behind him. She averts my questioning gaze. I run around, searching for him everywhere. He is nowhere.

Defeated, I go to my room. I find an envelope lying on the side table with 'To Vansh' written on it. Even though I have never really seen his writing, I know it's his. I take out a letter from the envelope.

Dear Vansh,

It feels weird to call you dear, but that's what you have always been in my heart. I want to pour out my emotions here, but I will not do that.

I will try my best to stop loving you. If I manage to do it, it would be my greatest victory. If not, you'll see my pathetic self again. I spent years thinking we were not meant to be. Then for a few days, I hoped that we might have a future together. I am slowly shifting to my former opinion again. Whether we are meant to be together or not, only time would tell. If we meet again with the same feelings, I will not let you go. If there's a doubt in either of us, it would be better to not see each other again.

I know the course of events better than you. I have told everyone to keep you in the dark. I cannot have you acting rashly again. Ever again. I am running away in the name of work. I'll be in Europe. That's all that you need to know.

Don't contact me and ask to meet me. If fate allows us, we would meet without trying.

Till then, take care.

Dhruv.

The letter still in my hand, I cry, for I firmly believe that I have lost the love of my life.