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I could have and should have done better. An apology over a text message shouldn't have been my last resort either, but I did it nevertheless. No sooner did I arrive in Mumbai than my phone was taken away from me. I was given a new phone, with a new number, and thus, became unreachable for Dhruv. I knew they were keeping a tab on me. Palak was under constant scrutiny too, so I couldn't ask her for her phone. She could have used her personal number, but if caught, she could be fired. She's the only sane head around me right now, and no matter what, I cannot put her in peril because of my problems. These problems of mine are great indeed.

For once, I mustered up all my courage to face my parents and tell them that I wanted to call off the engagement with Yashika. Reason- I loved Dhruv and wanted to be with him. What followed was a hurl of abuses, a list of inabilities, areas in which I have failed as a human, lack of responsibility as the heir to Shah Industries, and whatnot. What was left, was me getting beaten up black and blue, but they held themselves back. I could not go to my engagement all bruised, right? On second thought, it would have been better to get beaten up. I would have actually not shown up at my engagement.

My father would now personally oversee the hotel project. All of this just to ensure that I may not get in touch with Dhruv under any circumstances. I spent most of my time wondering how he's doing. There was no way to know. I knew that Dhruv was getting information from Mayank, who in turn was using all of his contacts in the company. Mayank could have well gatekept the details from Dhruv too; he cares a bit too much.

Since all means of contacting him were cut off, I borrowed the wedding planner's phone today. I had somehow come to memorize Dhruv's number. I texted him a sorry, and left it at that, deleting the number from the text history. History is what we are to be unless a miracle occurs. The miracle has to be my doing. I am determined.

I am now outside Yashika's room, waiting to confess everything. It is the wrong place and wrong time, but I have been rendered helpless. I stand with my hand on the doorknob, contemplating. I shall say it today. I enter the room to find her sitting alone in there. She is wearing a ghaghra, with a strapless blouse that shows her cleavage. Her ghaghra too, is at her waistline, exposing the entirity of her torso. I look at her, but don't get aroused. I reckon if I were to think of Dhruv right now, my cock would stand. Nevertheless, I step forward, shutting the door behind me.

"Couldn't wait for a bit longer?", she asks me.

I force a smile. I go ahead cautiously and come to a stop in front of her. She looks up at me with a gaze of love. I cannot be doing to this to her, to me, to Dhruv. What in the world am I doing? If I end up with Dhruv, only Yashika would be heartbromen. If I end up with Yashika, all three of us would be. She would soon know I never came close to even liking her, just enjoyed the admiration. She stands up and embraces me. I am uncomfortable. I allow her to be that way for a few moments before slowly pushing her away. I look into her eyes. Time for the truth.

Someone opens the door. Life cannot get worse. It is the she-devil, Tara. I give her an irritated look. She smirks. She knew I was up to something. She marches in and grins at Yashika. "Time to come out. Quick."

Yashika nods fervently. She holds my hand, interlocking her fingers with mine. Too bad. Her grip is rather sturdy and confident- unwilling to let go. I allow myself to be dragged to the engagement.

A while later, we are engaged. Fireworks are shot into the sky to celebrate our union. Union? More like my disintegration. I stand there numb to all wishes. People soon get busy drinking and partying. I escort Yashika to her room so that she may change her outfit and come down for the party. I have to head back to my room to change as well. Our rooms are next to each other- just like mine and Dhruv's were a while back. I remember the incident from Tara and Jagat's wedding. A feel a sharp pang of pain in my chest. Just as I am about to open Yashika's room, where the makeup artist and hairdresser are waiting for her, she stops me. We enter my room instead. She bolts the door behind her.

"What are you-?", I begin.

"We can afford some delay. Nobody would notice.", she whispers in my ear. She brings her lips to mine and kisses my feverishly.

I try to resist, but she is too strong a force for me. I hold her shoulders to push her away, but she sticks to me. She grabs my hand and slides it down, so that it is now around her waist. I shut my eyes. I see Dhruv. I return the kiss, pulling her closer to me, tightening my grip around her waist. Her chest is against mine-- all thanks to her heels-- and I can feel her breathing. A while later, I realize it is not Dhruv. I break off the kiss abruptly, surprising her.

"Why?", she asks.

"Not now.", I tell her. My voice is barely above a whisper.

She nods. "Later then." She heads out of my room without uttering anything else. What does she mean by later?

I sink on my bed, contemplating my actions. I should have held myself back. It was not Yashika in my mind. I felt Dhruv somewhere around me. I shut my eyes. I see him again. If lovesickness be real, I am experiencing it right now. I gulp. I get up to bolt the door. I take off my clothes and look at myself in the mirror. The hickey that Dhruv gave me on my chest has almost faded away. I move my finger over it, reminiscing every moment, every place where he touched me. I long for him. I long for his touch. I am hard down there. Dhruv really does it to me. I change and head down again.

The next day, we depart for London. Yashika's boutique would be inaugurated in a day's time. She was on a really tight schedule for her boutique, and this engagement news must have been a bombshell on her. She came nevertheless, to be with the man she thought to be perfect for her. Little does she know that this man has failed to be perfect for himself. For anyone. We are sitting next to each other right now, and she has been going on for quite some time now. She has a lot to say, and I, nothing. I find Tara looking at me from her seat. She gives me a reassuring nod.

"You just wanted to have sex, you know. And Dhruv was available. So you did it with him. It is no big deal." Tara had said this to me yesterday night, after everything was over. No big deal? As if! Why were we torn apart then? Why did you do everything in your power to keep us away from each other then? Why did you create a ruckus if it was indeed nothing. Bloody liars! Homewreckers!

"By the way,", Yashika asks me, "why didn't Dhruv attend?"

His name alerts me like nothing else ever did. "Huh?" I am hesitant. "He must have been busy."

"That's sad. You know, I always thought of him as an intriguing person. I wanted to meet him."

"Sometime later."

"How is he as a person? You worked with him for quite some time. Did you two become best friends?" She has a lot to ask. And I am unwilling to answer. But the lack of answers won't keep her mouth shut. She nudges me to reply.

"We became...sort of friends. We get along well." Better than I ever would with you, Yashika.

"You should have convinced him to attend our engagement. I was planning to set him up with one of my friends. She has a longtime crush on him. Since a year or so?", she quips happily.

She wants to set him up. Dhruv with a woman? I chuckle, and start laughing soon after. Yashika raises her eyebrow inquisitively. I try suppressing my smile. "It won't work. Not in Dhruv's case."

"Why?"

"He isn't interested in dating."

"Don't lie. Everyone is. He just hasn't found the right one then."

I nod. Yashika is correct. I thought I was the right one for him. Looking at myself now, I don't think that way anymore. I have disappointed him, and myself, beyond repair. He must hate to think about me now. He must hate the mention of my name. Gauging from what Palak told me, I and Yashika were all over the internet. It must have been such a harrowing experience for him. How was he to run away from my reality which has no place for him? He who loved me for the longest time. He who finally got the hope of being with me because I planted that very seed of hope. I remember Shashi's words. I shouldn't have given him hope only to shatter it. He must think of me as someone who used him ill, as a one-night stand. I have had no opportunity to prove otherwise. I have been an absolute bastard, unable to stand up for us. While my place on the board is no longer a concern, I still did not fight with all my might. I allowed them to defeat me. Defeat Dhruv. The woman sitting beside me is a mark of their victory. She is not the one I am looking for. It was, and remains, Dhruv.

Yashika's boutique inauguration in London is a huge success. Prominent names in the fashion industry, celebrities, and old money all make their appearance. It is a big space to begin with, and they are already planning expanding to other prominent European cities. Next year, they plan to open branches across Asia and North America. It is a massive expansion plan, and our company can surely add fuel to it. It is the perfect business deal they struck. Admittedly, my marriage is turning into one. I am doing the very thing I swore not to.

We return home late at night. I and Yashika are staying at her apartment. The others are staying at a hotel since the mansion of the Choksis is under repair. They might be planning to hold our wedding here. Who knows?

"Champagne?", she asks me.

I nod. She brings two glasses of champagne and we sit on the sofa, slowly sipping. She puts on some romantic music too. It irks me. This is the wrong place.

"Yashika, I have been wanting to tell you something.", I say, mustering up all my courage.

"What?", she asks. She looks a bit tipsy. She has already had a lot to drink today. "That you like me? Love me? Want to be with me forever?"

I sigh and shake my head. I disagree with all three statements. I like Dhruv. I love him more than myself. I want to be with him forever, but more so, now at this moment. My heart aches. "The truth is..."

She places her glass on the table, and pulls me towards her by my collar. She takes my lips into a long and deep kiss. I feel her tongue trying to open my teeth. I resist. She does it more fervently, and finds a breakthrough. Her tongue is in my mouth now, tasting and exploring every corner. I don't kiss her back. After a while, she breaks the kiss. "I waited so long to do this. So, so, long..." She starts unbuttoning my shirt. Upon opening the top three buttons, she slides her hand inside, resting it on my chest. "You are sturdy." Her hand is on the hickey Dhruv gave me. I cannot let her see further.

"Yashika, you're drunk."

"I love you."

"I don't." I say it out loud without my own knowledge.

She is taken aback. She looks at me as if I have betrayed her. I have, but I feel worse about betraying Dhruv. I had to hurt one person. I chose Yashika.

"What...do...you...mean?", she asks in the tiniest voice I heard emerging from her mouth.

"I like..."

The doorbell rings. Once. Twice. Thrice. Someone knocks the door. I get up from the sofa, and start buttoning my shirt while heading towards the door. I look though the peephole. Palak. I open the door. She is pale, fear written all over her face.

Yashika stands up and comes towards us. "What's the matter, Palak?"

"That..." Palak hesitates. She looks at me. "Can we have a word alone? It is urgent."

I nod.

"No.", comes Yashika's voice. It is imperative. We may not move. "Say what you want to. I want to hear it too."

Palak gulps. She looks at me teary-eyed. "Mayank called me.", she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "Dhruv hasn't been able to sleep for two nights now. Mayank was awake with him tonight. He just...he just went out for a minute or two. When he returned, Dhruv..."

"Dhruv what?", I ask her, imploringly. She says nothing. "What happened to him?"

"He slit his wrist. Mayank took him to the hospital two hours ago. They are operating on his wrist right now. He had damaged a major artery, so there was a lot of blood loss. His heart stopped beating once. He was revived, but is critical. No one in the family knows for now."

I stagger backwards. I break into a cold sweat. My throat is dry. My head is spinning. "I am returning to India right now, Palak. We are returning. Book a flight."

She nods and immediately enters the house, and gets to her laptop.

In the meantime, I rush into the room and grab my suitcase, throwing my clothes inside. Yashika enters too.

"What are you doing? Why would you go?", she asks me. I am in no condition to answer. "I know he's a friend, but we are not done talking." I don't answer. "Vansh. Speak." She finally holds me by my arms and looks at me agitatedly. "Speak."

"I love Dhruv, not you.", I tell her. I zip up my bag and head towards the door. I'll deal with the repercussions later.

Dhruv needs me right now.