***Mature content***

I wake up to find Vansh lying half on top of me. His head is on my shoulder and his arm wrapped securely around my chest. His left leg is tucked between my legs, and his thigh is rubbing against my cock. This part makes me feel something. Whether it is butterflies in my stomach or an upcoming erection, only time will tell. Since a blanket covers us, I lift it up slightly to check whether we have clothes on. We do. It means we did nothing in reality. Sleeping next to him made me have another erotic dream. The dream felt real. He moves a bit, snuggling his head in my neck. He tightens his arm around my chest. I feel his lips on my collarbone as he continues his effort to fit his features in my neck. My goodness!

I have a love-hate relationship with my dreams of him. I love that, at least in my dreams, I can sleep with him. We can, and we do stuff to each other in there. As for why I hate them, I know that they would not materialize. I am a heavy drinker, but I overdid yesterday night. That, along with Vansh's presence next to me led to the most erotic dream I had ever had. I saw him naked yesterday. Nothing was left to imagination. My brain captured him perfectly in those few seconds. It has its priorities correct. He was so perfect. I could not bring myself to leave the room, and hence, rushed to the bathroom. My heart was pounding in my chest like crazy.

The dream was so vivid, that I remember it perfectly well. Vansh was sleeping and I was observing him. In my dream, as opposed to my reality, I understood the rarity of the moment. I had propped myself up on my elbows to have a better view. He woke up out of nowhere and stared at me blankly for a few seconds. I was trying to come up with an excuse in my head. Before I could do so, he grabbed me by my neck and pulled me into a kiss. The kiss was hot, and feverish. I could feel a wetness and a numbness take over me. I was immediately filled with ecstasy.

Soon enough, his tongue entered my mouth and started exploring it. It was strong and determined, knowing where to go and what to do. Without realizing, I had moved on top of him. My hands had reached down to his pyjamas, unstringing them. Unlike me, he did have his underwear on. I broke away from the kiss for a few moments to pull down his pyjama and underwear, before resuming. While we were still kissing, I grabbed his cock and started massaging it. It was for a few moments, to get him comfortable. Soon enough, I started brushing my finger against the tip of his cock. I could feel pre-cum. He had started getting hard. I started jerking his cock which led to moans from him. I slipped my other hand under his butt. He arched his back so sexily. I could feel them squeezing due to pleasure. Exactly what I aimed for.

I continued my thing with his cock while he took off his kurta, and my t-shirt in between kisses. He pushed down my pants too, thereby ensuring that both of us were stark naked. I removed from hand from under him as he tried pulling me closer. He grabbed me by my butt and I could feel his nails digging deep. His cock was fully erect in my hand. I felt a spurt. He came onto my hands. His semen was all over my belly. It was a nice feeling. I brought my mouth to his cock and took in his cum. He tasted sweet. Even if there was another taste, I was too indifferent to notice it. His cock fit perfectly in my mouth, and his cum went straight down my throat. I swirled my tongue around his thickness, leading to sounds I never thought I would hear from him. My unengaged hands reached for his balls. I jerked, and pinched, and squeezed them. His voice grew hoarser and louder. I was determined to make him feel the pleasure he would not get anywhere else. He had to remember this night with me.

He had grabbed my hair as I did my thing. Down there, I had come too, and I was spurting out semen. "Stand up.", he instructed me. I complied. I was soon standing on the bed, stark naked, and showing him everything. He took my cock in his mouth and sucked me dry. My voices were louder. And hoarser. I reckon everyone must have heard them. My cock in his mouth, he pulled me yet closer by grabbing my butt. My butt was hardening. My behinds were as erect (that is, if they could be). My muscles were tense at one point, and then relaxing. He was filling himself with me, and filling me with pleasure. My cock out of his mouth, he licked my balls, eventually taking them in his mouth. I was his; he could do whatever.

He started with his tongue now. Starting from my waist bone, he licked me all the way up to my collarbone. It was actually a mix of wet kisses and tongue work. I bet he had not left a single spot untouched. From the way his lips were around my neck, I understood that he wanted to leave a mark. "Do it.", I told him. He sucked hard for the next few minutes, ensuring that he left a big, visible mark on my neck. He was claiming what was his. He was claiming me.

He brought his mouth to mine. We kissed each other as if there was no tomorrow. In our case, there would actually be none. While I would have wished to do more, we stopped after that kiss. We slept naked, hugging each other tightly.

Owing to this vivid and hot dream, I had to check if we indeed did it. We hadn't. Sad. The recollection of this dream makes me come. I am wet down there. His leg is still on my crotch. I can't let him feel the wetness. I move his leg from my crotch, but in adjusting himself, he places his hand down there. My cock is now fully hard, and leaking cum on my pants. As always, I am without an underwear. He'll feel it directly.

I still manage to move him off me and head to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and take off my pants. I look at myself in the mirror. My cock is hard and erect. Standing in front of the toilet, I begin jerking myself. Upon shutting my eyes, his image pops up in my mind, making my strokes and jerks more intense. Only if he knew.

We are on our way back to Jaisalmer. He is sitting in the passenger seat. He has been stealing glances at me, perhaps wanting to speak. I am avoiding all conversation, lest I give away what's in my mind. Or my dreams. Or my imagination.

Vansh now looks at me with all seriousness. "I think we should focus solely on business now. We have wasted quite a lot of time since I arrived. I can't extend my stay. I have other things to do."

I turn my head towards him. Attempts at deciphering the fear that his eyes hold go in vain. I do remember Shashi walking away from him last night. I craftily prodded Shashi about the matter, but he dismissed it as small talk between him and Vansh. It wasn't so, since Vansh appeared visibly disturbed for the rest of the night. Having known Shashi for a really long time, his concealed directness is no stranger to me. A person like Vansh, filled with insecurities, would not be able to comprehend those coated words. Worst, he would feel as if someone's giving their very best to bring him down.

"I agree.", I answer. "I'll take you somewhere tomorrow. I think it might be a good stretch of land for your windmills."

He looks at me, flabbergasted. "How- How do you know about it?"

"You are easy to read. Don't you know that?"

He looks away. We spend some time in silence. "Do you think I make a bad businessman too?"

I have to choose my words carefully. "My subjective opinions wouldn't change your objective reality. You are the best judge of your own abilities."

"You mean to say I suck at my job."

I shake my head. "Just ask for help whenever it gets too tough."

"Whom do I ask for help? Nobody really supports me. I can do a hundred things and people would still see me as a loser. Everyone's trying to get me." He blinks away his tears. He is showing me his vulnerable side. While I had an estimate of him being weaker than how he portrays himself, I did not anticipate this showcase of emotions in front of me.

"I do support you. Have always done so." I will do anything to provide assurance.

"Always? Since when?"

If I say something now, it would come out as a confession. Does he need to know that I have always had my eye on him? Or that I have immensely fancied him? Or that I have, in my deepest desires, wished for him to be mine? I can never spell it out. Shashi was right. We are impossible. "Our companies have been working together for a really long time now. Isn't support a mutual thing? I mean, you have been leading the renewable energy space for quite some time now. And everyone knows that you took the initiative to expand. You are a revolutionary, for your company at the very least."

His expression quickly changes from that of pride to that of someone who never gets acknowledged no matter what he does. He looks out of the window. He might be unable to suppress his feeling anymore. We are so similar in trying to show how unaffected we are by criticism, when in fact, we will shatter with a harsh word or expression. Nevertheless, we are at the receiving end of everything. Self-pity is a thing.

"It doesn't matter.", he tells me. "Nobody wants to see efforts or initiative, just the profits. One mistake, and all of your deeds go in vain."

I have nothing to add, nothing to change, nothing to contribute, nothing to argue. I focus on the road.

We reach Jaisalmer just in time for dinner. To our surprise, Vansh's secretary, Palak Sippy has arrived there. Relief floods over Vansh. The feeling of comfort that familiarity brings along, is evident on his face. After dinner, both of them retire to Vansh's room. The light is on for close to an hour, during which I am in the library. There is a pervading uneasiness about seeing him around women. I have to continually remind myself that he is straight, and being around women is more natural for him. I sigh. As similar as we are, we are different as chalk and cheese. I hear Palak leaving his room. I emerge out of the library nonchalantly, and see some files in her hand. They were discussing business.

Vansh emerges out of his room too. We stand on opposite sides of the courtyard, stealing glances at each other. Neither of us says a word, fully aware that both of us have a lot to say. A while later, as I am about to head to my room, he clears his throat. I stop and look at him. "Should we go there?", he asks, his eyeballs pointing towards the desert. I do not want to. I am afraid of imposing myself on him. My mind gets no chance to analyse the situation; my head merely bobs. We are going there. This time around though, I carry two shawls with me.

We are back in the desert. I have lit a bonfire between us. I find it the best seating arrangement. I can see him, but not feel him. I can share the air with him, not the our breaths. The light from the bonfire illuminates and highlights certain features of his face- his jaw, his nose, his eyes. I am fixated on those eyes of his. I could confess right away, but I hold myself back. The silence is unnerving. I decide to speak. "After I show you the area and the plan for tomorrow, we'd better meet the MLA from here. He should be able to help us a bit."

He shifts at this unexpected announcement. I can't comprehend his expressions.

"Don't worry. I'll do most of the talking. You'll have to talk about the energy plan though. That isn't something I can do. Rather, I won't do it."

"Who is this MLA?", he asks me almost inaudibly.

"Pulkit Kachwaha. First time MLA. He's in his early thirties. Pretty efficient. And he did have something regarding renewable energy in his manifesto. I am sure we can rope him in."

"You seem to have a lot of expectations from him.", he says dismissively. There is a hint of dissatisfaction in his voice. Even if he does not want to, I'll push this through. I will put myself to his use and disposal. He can do with me whatever he chooses to do. He keeps staring at me for the rest of the time with an intensity enough to drive me crazy. I am at my wits' end. Fatigued as I am, I don't want a staring competition now. Has he developed feelings for me? Impossible. His eyes have softened a bit though. He looks more at ease. He is letting down his defences. But this can be a result of staying together for a while, right? Nah. He's driving me crazy.

The next morning, we head off to what he later calls a desert safari. The Thar desert is around Jaisalmer, so I take out the jeep. Mayank is driving us, with Palak in the passenger seat, and I and Vansh in the backseat. When we are in the middle of the desert, we get down from the jeep.

Vansh is wearing a loose kurta over a jeans. His kurta flutters in the breeze. My gaze keeps travelling to the veins on his arms, fully visible due to his rolled up sleeves. Never thought I'd have such fetishes. He looks around.

I go and stand next to him. "This would be the perfect place."

"In the middle of nowhere?"

"In the middle of a lot of places. This area might look desolated, but there are close to twenty small villages around here, each boasting a population of no more than 100 people. There are two schools in operation here- one for girls, and another one for the boys. Unfortunately, neither the schools, nor the villages have an optimum electricity supply. Contractors and politicians ate up the money. These people got nothing."

He looks at me with disappointment. "Are you really trying to help me out? I am here for business. Strict business. What are you trying to make me do? Donations? We can do that through the foundation, but this is neither the place nor the time." His agitation is apparent. His disdainful expressions are unnerving.

I shift in my place uneasily. "You can't always look out for profits. You need to look out for people too. When you do just the first, not the second, you fail."

"Are you criticizing my ways?"

"No, I am trying to offer better ones. If you really want to save your position on the board of directors, you have to figure better ways of dealing with your business."

He appears shaken. "So you always knew?" My nod makes him tear up in anger. He grabs my collar with a swift move. His wavering expression and teary eyes make me regret what I just said. "You always thought of me as a joke, didn't you? Those claims of support and whatnot were to chide and deride me; and mock my inability to secure my position as the heir of the company. You were never on my side. It was a hoax." He lets go my collar, making me stumble backwards. He starts walking away.

I yell. "Do as I say. Your life would be different. It is my promise."

He stops, turns, and storms towards me. "You want me to believe you after this? You pretended to...you pretended to..."

"Pretended to?"

He stares at me and inhales. "Like me."

"What?"

"You pretended to like me as a person. You pretended to care."

I am flabbergasted. I gulp. I like him. I love him. More than he can ever imagine. But how do I tell him the truth? "Remove the word pretended from your sentences. The rest of it is the truth." I don't believe I really said it. I walk away, leaving him to digest my words. I reach the jeep to find Mayank and Palak looking at me with concern. I shake my head and sit in the jeep. I need some space.

Vansh follows soon after and sits in the car. He must have instructed Mayank and Palak to stand outside. I avoid eye contact with him. He holds my chin and turns my face. He does not let go. I gulp. I might just kiss him at this rate. I want to.

"I'll trust you this once. What's your plan?"

I smile at him. I grab his wrist and bring his hand down from my chin. I hold his hand and interlock fingers with him. I do all of it unconsciously. He looks at me. My ears feel warm. I look at him. His cheeks are flushed.

It'd better not be so.