I can't get the other day out of my head, and I can't believe I did what I did. What was I thinking? All I know is that whatever it was it felt amazing, but I need to keep my head on straight because whatever is going on between us is just for fun. I'm thinking I should just tell him we can't anymore, but after the other day I'm not sure I can do that.

I haven't been home much I've been trying to work as much as much as Roger will allow. I've been ignoring my mother and Travis, she tried to talk to me the other day about Liam's school, but I completely ignored her.

I have off today, and it's Saturday so Liam is home. I've decided to take Liam to the arcade, and then take him to go and get our tree. I've been the one to keep up tradition around here, Liam loves Christmas and I wasn't going to take that away from him. Every year we've been using this old moldy smelling plastic tree, but this year I've decided to take the plunge and get a real tree. I'm a little nervous about getting it here, but I'm hoping maybe Daryl can help when we get back.

I walk into the steamy bathroom with clothes in hand ready for my shower, and stop short when I see Daryl standing at the sink with a towel wrapped low around his waist. I drop my clothes and nearly trip over rug by the door. He looks up with a smirk on his face.

"We really need to stop running into each other like this," he comments.

I immediately slam the door shut with my foot, and bend down to pick up my clothes. When I look up he's staring down at me tooth brush in his mouth.

"What?" I ask.

"You're doing it again," he laughs.

"Doing what?"

"Nothing," he says shaking his head.

He turns back to the sink and when I stand I can see the scars on his back. They look painful. I pull my eyes away, because I can see him watching me in the mirror. I walk to the tub and start to turn on the water to prep my shower. I'm trying so hard not to look at his back, but I can't help but watch from the corner of my eye. He turns so his back is facing the door.

"What are you doing today?" he asks me.

"Taking Liam to the arcade and getting a tree," I say.

I turn towards the tub and lift the shirt up over my head. I can feel him staring and I crane my neck to look at him, only enough to where he can only see my back.

"Like a real tree?" he says swallowing hard.

"Yeah..."

"Why are you being weird?" I ask pulling my pajama pants to the floor.

I turn back looking at him, knowing damn well what I'm doing to him just by the look on his face. I leave my underwear on as I step into the shower. Then take it off when I get in.

"I'm not being weird you're the one undressing in front of me," he says.

"Why don't you lock the door," I nod towards it.

"Really?" he questions.

I shrug and close the curtain back up. I wait to see what he's going to do, and when I hear the click of the lock I can't help but smirk. I throw my underwear out of the tub and it hits the floor. The curtain slowly opens and I give him a look.

"Let me take you guys today," he says.

I tilt my head back and start washing my hair, not really caring that he's seeing all of me. I think I'm being a little too daring, but I don't care. I hear him snort a laugh. I pull my head up and look at him.

"What?"

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" he asks.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say grabbing a shampoo bottle off the shelf.

He shakes his head, as I squeeze the bottle and throw the liquid into my hair.

"A girl can have fantasies too," I say.

"And yours is showering with someone?" he teases.

"Maybe," I say as the shampoo drains from my hair.

"You're the one being a perv and staring. At least come in and close the curtain it's cold," I say.

"Already showered..."

"Fine suite yourself," I tell him.

"You should read less smut," he says shutting the curtain.

I'm not sure what he's doing out there as I continue on with my shower and grab my lufa to wash.

"Nothing wrong with a little smut novel every now and then, or fan fic for that matter," I say scrubbing soap onto my lufa.

"Fan what?"

"You know, when you write about someone famous, those can get pretty racy," I say.

"And who have you been reading about?" he asks.

"Wouldn't you like to know..."

"I did see a pic of those three guys who look like little girls..."

"Hey that was like three years ago, and they are so much hotter now so if you say one word about my Hanson boys I'll beat you!" I yell.

"Is that a promise?" he teases.

"You're different than I thought," I tell him.

"How so?" he questions still standing outside the shower.

"I can't describe it, but I never thought I'd be standing here in the shower with you lingering right outside. I also never thought I'd get naked in front of you either," I say.

"Blame hormones," he says.

"Yes hormones, I'm blaming those."

"What are they saying now?" his voice is low, rough, and sexy.

"Do you really want to know?" I laugh.

I start rinsing the soap off my body as Daryl steps inside. I stop rinsing and take a step closer to him. I don't know why I'm acting like this around him, I never did with Ethan. Daryl makes me feel things differently, I feel like I can be myself without him taking advantage. I like that about him, I like it a lot.

Slowly I kneel down and his eyes grow wide. I'm feeling nervous since this isn't usually what I'd do, and I'd never initiate, I hesitate for a minute. He looks down at me as I look at him, "You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable," he whispers.

"I think I want to," I say.

"You don't have to just because I..."

He stops because I've already taken it upon myself to stick it in my mouth. He gasps and slaps his hand on the tile wall. I look up at him and he looks down watching everything I'm doing. I've only done this one other time with Ethan so I don't have much experience, and I'm still not really sure what I should do, since with him he'd force it so hard and I'd end up gagging. Daryl isn't doing that, he's letting me do what I want. I don't have to do much because before I know it I'm standing up and he's staring at me with those crazy blue eyes.

I look away feeling embarrassed, like maybe I shouldn't have done that. He probably thinks I go around doing this often, and now I feel dirty and weird. I turn away and he grabs my shoulder.

"You okay?" he asks.

I nod, unable to speak.

"Did it taste that bad?" he questions.

I chuckle and smack him hard on the shoulder. He smiles for a minute, but then looks at me with a straight face. I want to know what he's thinking, I still can't figure him out. One minute he's this hard ass and the next he's joking around with me. I've got to pull away a bit before I get attached.

"What time we leaving?" he questions stepping out of the shower.

"Half an hour." I let the hot water cascade down my body relieving all the stress I feel right now.

"Can you make sure Liam is ready?" I ask. "He seems to like you."

"Yeah sure," he says as I hear the door close behind him.

I finally make my way into the kitchen after a nice long shower. I needed to clear my mind, and shake any real feelings away. So I did, and now I feel better. I smell something cooking and it kind of smells good. I've never really seen anyone else cook in this house, with the exception of reheating things in the microwave it's usually just me. I walk in and hear Daryl talking Liam. Standing in the doorway I watch as they both are standing by the stove cooking something. I step inside and see Merle and Travis at the table talking. They stop when they see me.

I give Merle a look and head straight to Daryl and Liam. I touch Liam's shoulder and they both look back at me with a smile.

"What are you guys making?" I question leaning over to see.

"Shush woman I'm cooking," Daryl says.

I shove him lightly and he laughs, I've almost forgotten we had an audience. I step away from him and move to the other side of Liam. "Oh gross is that the spam shit you eat?" I question.

"Yes Ma'am," he says.

"Nasty," I say.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it!" I hear Merle say from behind me.

I turn and give him the finger then turn back to them. I watch as Daryl mixes the eggs with the spam. This would have never happened if I had cooked. He finishes up, while I grab some plates for everyone and set them out on the counter. I don't bother bringing them over to Travis and Merle, I make them come get it themselves.

I don't want to sit at the table with Merle so when Daryl is done I take my plate and stand against the counter near the sink. The boys are all sitting at the table gobbling it down, while I'm picking at it.

"What are you fussing about?" I hear Daryl say from across the room.

"I don't know if I can eat it," I say.

"Try it," he encourages.

"You're missing out Darl'n, this is delicious," Travis adds.

"It's like a man's breakfast," I say.

They all laugh, Merle included, and I'm shocked. I've never seen the guy smile once since he's been here. I'm a little confused as to why he hasn't jumped down my throat about something, but I think it's because Travis is in the room. He's the first one done and brushes past me knocking into me while he passes. I guess we couldn't go the whole morning without him being a dick. Travis leaves next and I hear the roar of his truck along with Merle's bike. Once there gone I feel like I can breathe.

"You really haven't eaten any of it?" Daryl questions as I finally sit down at the table.

I push the food around with my fork. "Why you acting like a five year old just eat it," Daryl says. I look up, he's looking at me eyes wide and a smirk on his lips. I roll my eyes and stick a big piece of egg and spam in my mouth. Both he and Liam are watching me closely, waiting for my response. As I chew they stare harder and I want to punch them both. I swallow hard and the salty taste from the spam actually gives the eggs a little kick.

"You like it," Daryl teases.

"Oh shut up," I say taking another mouthful as Liam and Daryl high five each other.

We finish up quickly and I wash a few dishes, just to make it easier for later. We head out to my car, it's a pretty chilly day so we are all bundled. With keys in hand I head for the driver's side. Daryl bumps into me as I open the door, and slides his hand into mine taking the keys. I turn my body around, and he's so close I can feel the heat. His hand rests on my hip gently.

"I'll drive," he offers.

I look around making sure there's no one here, and when I'm sure of it I push up on my toes and plant a small kiss on his lips. He hums into my mouth. I start to pull away, but he pulls me towards him, his hand now resting on my lower back. I look up at him into his eyes and smile. My heart and stomach aren't cooperating, flutters and butterflies have taken over my body. I shove him playfully, then walk around him to check Liam to make sure he's good. Before I open my door I take a deep breath, I feel nervous around him today, I think it's because he makes me feel things I've never felt before and that scares me. A knock on the window makes me jump, I look down and see Daryl leaning over staring at me through the window. I roll my eyes and finally get into the car so we can go.

The arcade is a few towns over and Liam is so excited, we go here a lot because he loves video games. Unfortunately we don't have many at home, and he's stuck with an old Nintendo system I had when I was five. He does love the old school games and when we get to the arcade he usually heads straight for Space Invaders or PACMAN.

Daryl pulls up into the parking lot and Liam is clapping his hands like he's excited. I look back at him and smile, then ask him if he's ready to lose. He and I have a competition going on Space Invaders, and DDR. He loves to feel the vibration of the songs, and it's easy enough since it's just stepping on the arrows that come on the screen.

He unbuckles himself as we all get out and I meet him around the side. He's signing like crazy telling me he wants to face Daryl on a few games. I translate for him and Daryl laughs.

"I'm pretty bad ass at arcade games," he says. Liam shakes his head and smirks. He signs that he almost beat the highest score on Space Invaders last time we were here. Daryl tells him that he's already done that. While the boys argue I head for the counter to get tokens for the machines. Daryl's hand slaps down on the counter with a fifty dollar bill.

"What are you trying to buy out the whole place?" I joke.

"Just let me pay for it, okay?" he asks.

"Fine," I say putting my wallet away.

I hand the guy the fifty and get what I need, then head back to Liam and Daryl. Daryl is talking to him and Liam is showing him some signs as they talk. Watching the two of them makes my heart hurt so badly. I hate that Liam is attached, what happens when Daryl leaves? If he's on the move I'm sure he's not staying much longer. Daryl notices me staring and stops to look up. Tilting his head he mouths, "You okay." I nod and smile walking over with coins. I hand the two of them their cups and they both dart off in the same direction.

While they are battling it out on some zombie game, I head a few spots over to play skee ball. This game is like my thing, I get so many tickets from it and Liam is always happy to get a big prize at the end. I hear Daryl yell and Liam throws his hands into the air, I think he's beating him. They race over to a race car game and both sit down quickly. I watch as they both jam their coins into the slots and wait for the game to start. I roll my eyes and continue accumulating my long trial of tickets.

"Holy shit, are you like the Skeeball queen?" I hear Daryl ask.

I've been playing for at least a half an hour while they have been moving from game to game.

"I am," I tell him.

Liam and Daryl line up next to me and both give each other a look. I feel like they are ganging up on my or something. They put their coins in and get into a fighting stance. I can't help but crack up. I put another coin in myself and wait for the balls. The boys get theirs first and then mine come, and they've already started. I try catching up, but they have almost finished their turns. Liam jumps up as he hits the top 5,000 hole.

"Kids better than you," he jokes.

I shove him hard and he almost topples over. He comes back at me and I step back as he wraps his arms around me pulling me into a tight hug. His breath hitches as he breathes into my hair. I'm taken back when I look up and he's staring down at me with a smile. Liam taps me on the shoulder with my tickets in hand and waves them in the air.

I pull out of Daryl's grasp and chase him straight to the DDR machine. We stop and laugh as Daryl walks up behind us. Liam points to the machine and signs that he's going to kick my ass. I almost scold him for using that word, but I don't. He's having fun. I look at Daryl with a smirk, then turn back to Liam. I sign to tell him I think I should battle Daryl and he agrees. Liam starts to sign something and as he does he moves his hands like a bow and arrow and signs the letter "d" on the hand he draws back. I immediately realize that's his sign for Daryl.

"He wants to play archery?" Daryl questions butting in.

"No, I think that's your name sign," I tell him.

"Name sign?"

"It's kind of like a nick name, but more special to the deaf community."

"Oh."

He's not sure how to feel about it, I think it makes him scared because he knows he's leaving and he realizes how much Liam likes him.

"You dance?" I ask.

"Do I look like I dance?" he questions.

I turn to Liam and use the name sign, then tell him that Daryl says he can't dance. Liam laughs and slaps his knee with his hand like he finds it hysterical.

"What did you say to him?"

"That you can't dance," I say sticking my tongue out.

Daryl sighs. "Fine."

I squeal like a child and clap my hands. He rolls his eyes and both of us step up to the machine. He looks at me as I look through the songs.

"Go easy on me, K?" he asks.

I look at him and shake my head. He grunts and I laugh. I pick one of my favorites, it's not too hard, but also not easy. Liam stands to the side and watches. The music starts and the arrows start to move. Daryl stumbles a bit and I can't help but crack up as I'm dancing. Daryl totally failed and has his hands on his knees like he's out of breath. I still have two more turns. I walk over to him and pat his back.

"You .... call... that.... easy?" He's out of breath.

I laugh, "Yeah," I tell him.

He stands up and grabs me holding me tight, then leans down and whispers into my ear. "You're going to get it later," he whispers. He pulls away with a smirk. I can't help, but smile. He's acting strange, almost like we're together it's weird, but I like it. I like it a lot.

After Liam challenges me we head a few stores down to get pizza. Liam is so excited that he's signing like crazy throughout the whole meal. Daryl is trying to keep up, but I can tell he's having trouble. While eating pizza I notice Daryl zoning into his own world. I try to ask him questions, but he doesn't answer much. I think he realizes that he was being a little too friendly for friends with benefits.

While on our way to the tree farm Liam falls asleep. The only noise in the car is the low hum of the radio and my voice singing along to a Papa Roach song on the radio. Daryl's been extremely quiet since we played DDR. I keep looking over at him, but he's paying attention to the road. When he pull up to the farm he steps out and starts walking over. I wake Liam and he perks up right away.

I have Liam looking around for the tree, it's a small lot and many of the trees have already been bought. I stand back with Daryl as we walk slowly side by side. I keep my hands in my pocket to warm them.

"You okay?" I question.

He grunts.

"Did I say something..."

"I'm fine," he snaps.

"Okay," I whisper.

I bite my cheek and walk over to where Liam is looking up at a medium sized tree. It's not too full and doesn't look like it would be hard to set up at home. Daryl calls one of the guys over and they help us get it to the car. As he and Daryl tie it up I walk over to the guy at the little booth with the money.

"He already paid," he tells me.

I look back at Daryl whose just finishing securing the tree. He looks at me for a brief second before turning his attention back to the tree. I thank the guy and walk back to the car, noticing Daryl slipping the guy some money for a tip.

We have at least a twenty minute drive back to the house, maybe thirty with the speed we have to go with the tree. Daryl's quiet and Liam has fallen asleep again. I feel like Daryl has thrown his wall up again. I know it has to do with how he was acting with me today, I think it scared him.