"There are days when I feel like giving up, but then there are days when I feel like fighting through. The only reason I'm capable of both is because of you"

❃ B l a z e ❃

The house was dimly lit when we entered, and that was a surprise considering it was the evening. Soft orange lights illuminated the living room, and we placed our bags on the couches.

I distinctly remembered the tones being white the last time I was here. "They must have those colour-changing lights" I muttered to myself, and Ann shot me a weird look. "Was your first thought seriously about the lights?". I shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

Remembering my way from my previous visits, I dragged Ann to the kitchen where I was greeted by the sight of Bree ripping open a bag of crisps. She grinned sheepishly at us, as she reluctantly offered some to us.

"It hasn't even been five minutes" Ann accused and Bree scowled. "There's no right time for food".

Bree reached for a chocolate bar and hopped onto the counter. "Want some?" she held out the chocolate to me and I grinned, while breaking off a piece. Ann reluctantly smiled and did the same. "First we'll eat, then we'll watch a bunch of movies and then we'll eat again" Bree grinned as she stated her plan.

"Here I thought you would've called an event planner for this entire sleepover" Ann smirked, leading Bree to glare at her. "Raf told me this would be fine. This will be fun right?" she asked nervously and I nodded enthusiastically.

My eyes flitted around and I slightly peeked out into the living room, wondering where Raf was. I pressed my lips in a tight line at his absence. He was probably just in his room. That didn't really matter though, I was here for the sleepover.

A throat cleared and I turned to Bree who was looking at me in amusement. "Looking for my evil twin?" she smirked and Ann wiggled her eyebrows. I scowled at the both of them, ignoring their satisfied grins.

"No, I'm not. I'm just appreciating the house" I muttered. "You're a horrible liar" Bree grinned at me while she popped a piece of chocolate in her mouth. "Am not" they ignored my glare, which annoyed me.

"He's probably just working out or in his room" Bree was smiling slyly and I grunted in irritation. "Could you two cut it out?" the two of them ignored my grumbling and passed the crisps to me.

"Okay, let's go" Bree dusted her hands off and washed her hands in the sink. "I swear to god if you make me watch a horror movie, I'll sacrifice you to some Pagan God" I aggressively threatened Bree, who flicked her wrist in dismissal.

"Now that's definitely what we're watching" Ann declared. "Shut up" I gritted out. I wasn't looking forward to getting jump scares every other minute.

"Grab whatever snacks you want" Bree told us, and I grabbed my fair share of crisps and chocolate. Bree was hoarding the entire lolly supply, and she reluctantly handed a few over to the both of us.

After grabbing the most amount of snacks that we could fit in our arms, Bree exited with the two of us trailing after her like minions. Instead of going towards the staircase which led to her room, she went down a hallway that was eerily dark.

"Is this the part where you admit you're a serial killer?" I joked, but Bree smirked evilly at me. I gulped and she flicked on a light, that dimly lit up the rest of the hallway. The end was another set of stairs that led downstairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked and Bree turned to me. "The cinema room" she stated excitedly, and I couldn't help but smirk. Of course they had a cinema room.

"We aren't watching a horror movie" Bree added and a smile split across my face, whereas Ann groaned dramatically. "Fair warning, it's a bit messy in there. Raf and I usually hang out there during the weekend" Bree smiled sheepishly.

She descended the stairs and we followed her, as she simultaneously switched on a bunch of lights. My eyes widened as I took in the entire room before me, and Ann looked the same way.

The entire room was about three times the size of Bree's room, which was saying a lot. It was flooded with dim ivory lights, and my eyes instantly drew to the expanse it covered.

The steps were staggered and on the topmost two layers were large cream coloured recliners, that seemed like they were just too expensive to touch, let alone lounge on. The third level covered the entire floor and below the recliners, there were huge leather couches that matched the entire theme of the room which was predominantly black and cream.

Opposite the couches and recliners, was a sleek flatscreen that must have played the movies and it took up almost the entire wall. The screen was bordered either side by inbuilt shelves that housed randomly placed objects, but somehow it all fit together. The other two walls were comparatively sparse, but quite a few band posters were scattered along their lengths interspersed with large surround speakers, adding a rough edge to the entire room.

The floor was hardwood and could probably fit about ten mattresses, guessing by the sheer size of it. A few beanbags were scattered across the area, all of which were either black or cream.

Tucked away in one corner of the room was a vinyl player and a shelf containing records. Adjacent to the shelf was a large door that must have been the bathroom. A faint scent of leather mingled with the cold, air-conditioned air gave the room a fresh atmosphere which seemed relaxing and almost detoxifying.

My eyes flitted around the room various times as I drank in the edgy yet expensive vibe of the entire room. No wonder Bree and Raf hung out here, this place seemed like heaven.

"Must be nice to be this rich" the words spilled out of my mouth and I immediately gasped at my rude behaviour.

"I'm so sorry" I frantically turned to Bree, but Ann and her were chuckling loudly and their voices bounced off the walls, as if amplified by the entire room.

"Don't apologise, its okay. You're welcome to crash here anytime. We call this our den" Bree grinned at me and Ann was still clutching her stomach as she desperately tried to control her laughs.

"Though I'm not going to lie, Raf ends up sleeping on the couch here. That would probably work in your favour" Bree winked at me and I huffed out a long breath, and glowered at her. "We're friends".

She didn't seem the slightly bit fazed as she plopped down on one of the couches, after turning down the lights and dropped her snacks beside herself.

Ann went towards the recliners and let out a long sigh as she curled up in the same way. I sat down on another couch that was adjacent to the one Bree was sitting on, and mocked Ann with the same sigh.

"Excuse you?" Ann muttered and I laughed, as she closed her eyes and went back to comfortably resting on the recliner.

"Ann, get up. We're watching a movie" Bree declared loudly. Ann begrudgingly opened her eyes, only to glare at us. "What are we watching?" Bree grinned at my question and turned on the screen with a remote. She flicked through tons of movies before settling on a rom-com.

There was a loud groan from behind us, as Ann looked angrily at the movie on the screen. "I don't want to watch two high school kids fall in love, only to break up because of some stupid reason. And then they'll get back together due to a hugely impractical yet romantic gesture, because they just can't live without each other" Ann's rant was cut short by our loud chuckles at the disgust in her voice.

"Why can't we watch a horror or action movie? I want to see blood, gore and organs" I stopped laughing and turned to Ann in shock. "No thank you" Bree quipped, just as surprised as me at Ann's choice.

The movie started playing and Bree splayed across the couch, and I stifled a laugh at the way the both of them were relaxing like tabby cats. "Here we go" Ann muttered from behind me as she rustled her bag of crisps.

After a while Bree suddenly screamed, "He's so hot". Ann looked amused as she glanced at Bree.

"He looks a lot like Travis, don't you think?" Ann deliberately asked me and I nodded with my mouth full of chocolate, which I was practically wolfing down.

It was hard to make out her reaction because of the dark, but I could bet she was either embarrassed or angry. No one commented further and we went back to watching the the abrupt kiss scene on the screen.

Halfway through the movie, it was suddenly paused and the faint light scattered on one half of Bree's face as she turned to Ann and I. "I forgot my Oreos upstairs. Could you get them? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" she innocently glanced at the both of us.

"Not me" Ann yelled and I flinched at the volume of her voice. "Get them yourself" I told her, but Bree tried her best attempt at convincing me. After a draining argument about the fact that if I tripped on the stairs and split open my head it would be Bree's fault, I finally succumbed and got up reluctantly.

"I'm going. I feel dizzy and I might just fall" they ignored me and I groaned before stomping away.

I ascended the stairs and was greeted by the same silence upstairs. Making my way to the kitchen, I complained under my breath about how much I was taken for granted by these maniacs. However, I stopped short just around the corner of the kitchen when I heard a familiar masculine voice muttering loudly.

"Where's the fucking butter?" Raf's voice filtered through my ears and a smile spread across my face as I observed him from my little hideout. He was talking loudly to himself as he angrily rummaged in the cupboards.

"Talk about being clueless in your own house" I stifled a chuckle as he knelt down to look in the fridge.

Raf was wearing his grey sweatpants, that I had got accustomed to and a tight black tee that clung onto his muscles. He looked freshly showered, as wet strands of his brown hair stuck to the back of his neck and droplets glistened on the ends and the nape of his neck. I didn't miss the faint colour seeping through the side of his face, indicating quite a workout.

"Fuck yeah, you're my bitch now" he grinned as he successfully managed to locate the butter. His eyes lit up with victory and I leaned back so he wouldn't spot me creeping on him like some weirdo.

"Okay so what's your bread of choice? We have white, whole grain, oats and oh wait there's a bunch of tortillas here too" he pointed to the assortment of breads as he looked at all of them indecisively. "I want multigrain, but white will have to do".

I watched in amusement as he conversed with the butter and the bread, as if he was some toddler talking to inanimate objects.

"Okay, so now I'm going to decorate you with some sprinkles. You'll like that right?" he pulled the bread up to face level and grinned at it.

"Sprinkles. I need sprinkles" Raf muttered as he stuck his hand back in the cupboards and peered inside.

"I don't want the chocolate ones" A grin split across my face as he whined at the lack of rainbow sprinkles.

"Fine, whatever. Looks like you're wearing brown today" he scowled at the buttered bread. He dumped heaps of chocolate sprinkles on the slices of bread, then tilted his head to one side.

"More sprinkles" he nodded to himself as he added the extra sprinkles.

"You're a literal slice of heaven" the wink he sent the bread snapped the last thread of control I had over myself, and I burst out laughing like a hyena.

Raf's head suddenly whipped to mine, and a flush crept across his cheeks as his eyes widened with mortification. His lips parted open slightly, and he inhaled a shaky breath.

"I- I- How m-much did you hear?" his eyes darted to a spot above my head and he ran his hands through his hair multiple times.

"Don't be embarrassed. It was pretty adorable to see" I grinned at him and he dragged his fingers across his face. "I promise this isn't a regular thing". I beamed at the embarrassment flooding his body as he fidgeted with the hem of his tee.

"Don't say that, she'll get offended" I smirked, pointing my finger to his companion bread. He blushed, which was quite an appealing sight. "So, fairy bread huh?" I smirked as he grimaced awkwardly.

"I usually don't have long conversations with edibles, you caught me on a one-off" he avoided my gaze, as his eyes suddenly found my feet very attractive.

I stared at him as he kept his gaze focused on the ground, and his face reddened with each passing second. Beads os sweat lined his forehead, and he nervously pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"You're pretty cute" I babbled and suddenly, it was my turn to blush. "Um, thank you. You too" he nodded ineptly. The tension was at an all-time high, and Raf shifted on his feet.

I edged past him and grabbed Bree's Oreos from the counter. I turned around to see Raf holding a fairy bread towards me. "Want one?" he bit his lip anxiously, and I desperately tried to trample on the nerves firing up in my stomach.

I nodded inattentively and he gave me a share from his own. I observed as he nibbled on his food, fervently shifting his gaze around the kitchen. "You're making me nervous" he blurted out and I cocked my head to the side, as I waited for him to elaborate.

"Okay I'll admit, I might have a slight obsession with fairy bread. I mean, look at it's beauty" he flourished with his hands, and I chuckled a bit too hard. "Uh huh. I don't mind" I grinned as he scowled at me.

I took a seat on one of the bar stools near the island, and Raf sat down next to me. "How's the sleepover going?" He asked after a long sigh.

I smiled as I turned to face him. "Pretty good, I was actually expecting Bree to order strippers or something judging by her enthusiasm". What the fuck was I saying?

Raf's face twisted into horror and disgust, and I could swear I detected a hint of hostility. "Forget I said that" I muttered under my breath nervously. "Yeah, I'd make sure that never happened" he looked at me seriously and I gulped warily. I had no desire to see anyone naked, thank you.

We ate in silence, and from the corner of my eye I saw Raf smiling in pleasure as he downed his snack. "Stop staring at me like that" he looked amused, all traces of his earlier mortification vanishing with the playful statement.

Making a bold move which I probably shouldn't have, I smirked. "Or what?"

His eyes visibly darkened as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He leaned in closer and a feeling of déjà vu hit me as I waited for his next move.

"Or I might do something reckless" he whispered as his breath tickled my face, and his eyes held mine in an fervid gaze.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my skin prickled with goosebumps, as his fingers brushed my cheek in a caress that should've been illegal for the way it made me feel. I didn't miss the way his eyes darted to my lips, just like my own languidly took in all his sharp features clashing with his contrasting soft eyes.

His cinammon scent wrapped around my senses and showered me with that familiar security that I craved whenever I felt down, and I already knew I was losing my will to stay away. But if it meant that I could have him, I didn't count it as a loss. It was a victory for me.

A multitude of emotions dominated his profile, but I was too invested in memorising each plane and contour of his face that I heeded no attention to them or what they meant. All I was focused on was saving this moment in the vault of my mind.

The slight flush creeping along his cheekbones intensified, and his caramel hair tickled my forehead. His movement was almost imperceptible, but for me it was significant as his lips were no less than a few millimetres away from mine.

His enthralling gaze didn't waver as his face inched closer up to the point that I could count each elongated eyelash adorning his beautiful viridian eyes, that threatened to extricate all my emotions with just a glimpse. I had come to realise that his eyes were the colour that I would label my nirvana as, a shade so captivating that I would probably drown before I ever resurfaced.

I didn't think it was possible to feel so full of sensitivity, as my heartbeat drummed against my chest, and I could feel every nerve ending of mine at hyperalert, waiting for him to come closer to the point where our lips would intertwine in a single rush of air.

"I probably shouldn't be doing this" his breath fanned the wisps on my forehead and my lips parted as I came up with no reply. His words were paradoxical as he made no move to back away.

"Tell me to stop" his lips brushed against mine and my eyes fluttered closed of their own accord. However, his thumb grazing against my cheekbone forced me to open my eyes, and I was met with his rouge lips marginally skimming mine in a gentle caress.

My breathing became harsh, and it almost felt like a deprivation of oxygen because I could swear it felt like the room was closing in on me. I was certain that I was on the verge of spontaneously combusting just from the slight movement of his, which sent a bout of tingles all over my body.

Just as I was waiting for the feel of his lips moulding against mine, a loud clang of metal made me jerk back as my eyes widened in shock.

I leaned as far back as I could, ignoring Raf's ardent gaze on the side of my head. I didn't regret whatever moment we had, but I was still scared about all this.

Travis casually strolled into the kitchen and his eyes widened when he saw us sitting awkwardly next to each other. From his surprise, I realised he hadn't seen us and a sigh of relief escaped my lips, causing Raf to glance at me grimly.

"Hey there kids" Trav grinned, and I smiled warily at him. My mind and body were still reeling from our almost kiss.

Wait but our lips brushed, so is that a kiss? No, but I mean we didn't kiss kiss, it was a brief touch. But I did still feel it way more than I should've. Why didn't someone come up with an international classification of kisses? Now that would be useful. We could call it the kiss-ification. Wow that's a good idea.

"Blaze?" Travis tapped my shoulder and I blinked my eyes a few times before looking at him. "Yeah?" I scrunched my eyebrows together, making a mental note to research the type of kisses later and the requirements to label one.

"You're zoning out again" I withdrew from my thoughts, and saw both of them looking at me curiously, as a smirk crept across Raf's face that I had the utmost urge to wipe off.

"What were you thinking about?" Raf asked innocently, a wicked flash crossing his eyes.

"Nothing" I muttered through clenched teeth. "Aren't you supposed to be downstairs with the others watching that horrible romance movie?" Travis snatched a fairy bread from my plate, and I glared at him.

"How do you know that they're downstairs and what they're watching?" Raf looked suspiciously at Travis, whose eyes widened and his mouth opened and then closed shut. "I just assumed" he mumbled and Raf's eyes narrowed.

"I love ramen and tomato sauce together" I suddenly blurted out in attempt to draw attention away from Travis. Great, I just ruined all the weirdly poetic thoughts racing through my head with that sentence.

Both of their eyes turned to me as I meekly smiled. "I hate grapes" Travis grinned, and Raf looked at the both of us weirdly. "Has your brain matter vanished too?" Raf looked incredulously at Travis.

"Hey, what do you mean by too?" I glared accusingly at him, which he ignored.

"She was the one who was spurting out her random quirks" Travis pointed a finger at me and I dramatically gasped, just to be disregarded again.

"Why are you here?" Raf turned to Travis, who put a hand on his heart. "B-But I thought we were best friends? Don't you want me to be here?" he wiped a fake tear and Raf rolled his eyes.

"You didn't tell me you were coming over" Raf stated and Travis pouted at him. "So that's all this has come down to, right? You don't even want me anymore" Travis began to grin but it dropped as Raf shot him a murderous glare.

"I felt left out. Everyone's here, I refuse to be excluded from all the fun" he beamed at us and I reciprocated it, while Raf shook his head with a small smile on his face. "So what are you two doing in the kitchen?" Travis asked and I froze.

"Discussing politics"

"Playing thumb war"

Raf and I turned to each other with shocked expressions. "Sure" Travis looked at us weirdly, blissfully ignorant to all the palpable tension vibrating in the room.

"We were talking about politics while playing thumb war, it's a fun way to bond" I cringed as soon as I said the words and got up from my stool awkwardly.

"I should go now. See you later, alligator" I grinned at the both of them as I walked backwards, which I shouldn't have considering I jabbed my stomach into the island.

"Fucking stupid counter" I glared at the marble, and looked up to see the two guys staring at me, and the smirk dancing on Raf's lip.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Not like I just punctured a hole in my small intestine" I muttered as I walked out of the kitchen briskly, to avoid embarrassing myself further. I heard their echoes of laughter following me and a small smile played on my lips.

As soon as I turned the corner and reached the hallway leading downstairs, I paused. My body was still recovering from whatever had happened back there, and it was almost as if I could still feel the graze of his lips against mine and his intoxicating scent swirling around my senses.

I took a deep breath and composed myself. I was getting too worked up for something that might not even be so significant for him. Keeping that thought in mind, I went back to the cinema room to see the movie was already playing.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" I yelled over the volume, and Bree guiltily smiled at me as she paused the movie. "You were up there for over twenty minutes". My eyes widened as I checked the time, realising she was right.

"Yeah, I got distracted" I muttered as I stretched across the couch again.

"Raf's hogging you even though it's my sleepover. That's not fair" she scowled. "I never said it was Rafael" I looked at her nervously.

"You two must be really bonding in your mutual denial to your budding romance" Ann grinned as I turned to face her.

I was glad the lights were off, because I didn't want them to see my flustered face or my sweaty palms. Seriously, my brain was really overworking my sensory system.

"What romance?" I muttered as I hid my face behind a bag of crisps. "You forgot my Oreos" Bree pointed a finger at me accusingly, and I sunk further into the couch as she grumbled about always being forgotten.

After a minute of my apologising and Bree and Ann poking fun at me, the movie was resumed. I couldn't understand the plot, considering I had missed a good twenty minutes and I was blankly staring at the screen, waiting for the movie to get over.

When it finally did, Bree muttered from beside me, "That was a shitty movie".

"Told you so" Ann piped up and Bree glared at her.

"Okay, but the next one's better" she switched to another one instantly. "Wait, I have to pee" Ann scrambled up and raised her hand. "Yes?" Bree looked confused.

"Where's the bathroom?" Ann blinked as she waited for an answer. "That door right there" Bree pointed to the door in far corner and Ann quite literally ran as she smiled sheepishly at us.

Bree turned to me once Ann disappeared, and smirked knowingly. "So what did you two do upstairs?"

I widened my eyes and turned away, ignoring her curious gaze on the side of my head. "We were just talking?" It came out more like a question and Bree's face morphed into shock, as if she came to some realisation. "Wait, something happened. What is it?"

My mouth gaped open like a fish out of water, and my eyes flitted everywhere but at her. "Spill it" she eagerly grinned at me, and I was about to make up some ridiculous lie when a booming voice saved me.

"The king is here, bitches. Bow down to your master" Travis hollered as he walked in the room, and winked at Bree who resembled what I looked like not even a minute ago.

Raf was grinning behind Trav, and his eyes locked with mine, blazing with mirth and an emotion I couldn't quite capture.

"Hey" he said as he stood in front of me and I glanced up to see him smiling. "Hi" I mumbled, ignoring the tingles suddenly sparking across my skin.

He sat down on the far end of the same couch, and without any notice, sprawled his legs across my thighs. "Excuse you?" I suddenly turned to him. His head was propped up on his folded arms that rested against the armrest, and he was casually grinning at me.

"Don't worry. My legs are very pretty" he smirked as he weirdly wiggled his toes. "There's nothing to testify that, you're wearing jogger's" I deadpanned as his leg brushed against my knee, making me hyper aware of Bree's and Travis' eyes on us.

"All you have to is ask and I will let you admire my beautiful calves" My lips tightened in a thin line at his words, but my cheeks heated up regardless. "Arrogance really doesn't you" I muttered haughtily.

In a fraction of a second, he leaned closer as his legs pressed into my lower thighs and he put his hands on my shoulder to steady himself. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind" his breath creeped across the shell of my ear and my skin prickled with the sensation.

We were interrupted by the clearing of a throat, and I turned to see the others looking at us with content smiles. "Why are you doing crunches on the sofa?" Ann grinned at Raf innocently who scowled at the others before lying back down, still violating my space with his freakishly long frame.

I cleared my throat, while glaring at the three clowns who were staring at Raf's leg as if it were some alien variant of the normal human leg.

Travis settled on the recliner besides Ann and I heard a yelp of disgust, just to see Bree holding Travis' foot prisoner.

"Get your disgusting feet out of my face" Bree yelled at Travis, who looked like he was having an asthma attack. He was dangling between the two levels, half of his body was on the recliner and the other half was on Bree's couch.

"I was just joking" he pleaded with her as she glared at him. "Next time, do not put your mutant paws anywhere near me". With that, she swatted his foot away and looked back to the screen with a smirk on her face. These two were really quite the pair.

Raf looked amused at the two of them, but a hint of suspicion flickered through his face again which made me panic at the possibility of him finding something out. "Why are you so tall?" I asked, and mentally facepalmed at the basic question.

"My DNA?" He looked at me weirdly as his eyebrows drew together.

"You're taking up the entire sofa and cramming me into the corner. By violation of um, Act II subphrase 8 and line number 7, you could be sued for unlawful violation of my private bubble".

I felt the need to bang my head on the wall at my unnecessary rambling. Raf started chuckling loudly, which caused Bree to pause the movie. "I think you two should should take a timeout upstairs" Travis suggested and I hid my face in my hands. I wasn't speaking another word anytime soon now.

Turning my focus back to the movie, I felt Raf shift closer. "You're fine, right?" he whispered in a low voice, and I detected the underlying current of glee in his voice. "Dandy" I muttered as he let out a low, throaty laugh.

Vowing not to let my haywire emotions overpower me, I glared at the screen hoping it would divert my attention. "Concentrate" I murmured and blew out a long breath. How hard could it even be?

For the next half an hour, Raf continued to shift closer which was really driving me to the edge. At some point he dropped his legs from my lap, opting for an arm around the sofa. I knew he was doing this purposely.

However, I was too engrossed in the movie to even notice him constantly staring at the side of my head.

"Thank you for assuring me that my side profile is beautiful" I muttered irritably, which somehow prompted him to lean closer.

"You're beautiful" he whispered with a genuine smile on his face, and I flushed as my eyes widened. "You too" I said awkwardly, shifting my eyes back to the screen.

Thankfully, he didn't say anything further and I squashed the giddy feeling that made me want to just finish what we started in the kitchen. Nope, now I sounded desperate. Shut up Blaze.

But even if I there was an unexplainable fear swirling it's way through my body like a parasite accompanying the joy, I knew that I was leaning towards the brighter side of things. 

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"He didn't d-deserve to d-die" I hiccuped as a chain of sobs burst out of my mouth. My vision blurred with the tears that seemed to keep flowing like an endless river.

Why did all the best people die? Life was shitty, whoever said that it was a journey was clearly stupid. It was more like a rollercoaster that only went straight down into the pits of hellfire, and we ended up being scorched by the heat.

"Sweetheart, it's just a movie" Raf's arm was around my shoulder as I tried to take a deep breath, resulting in me crying harder. He handed me a tissue awkwardly.

"I liked him. He deserved a happy ending, Raf. It's not just a movie, it's a freaking punch to the gut. They murdered my heart, and they deserve jail". I didn't even know why I was crying so much, but it started as soon as the male protagonist- Levi ended up in a coma all because of a car accident.

What started out as a small sniffle, was now turning into an entire breakdown fueled by my dysfunctional hormones.

Bree was also crying and we looked at each other, and broke down all over again. "Fuck, what do we do?" Travis looked helplessly at Raf, who looked just as frantic. There was nothing they could do to relieve the unbearable anguish I was feeling right now.

"It's not fair at all. Levi was so pretty" Bree sniffled, and Travis looked a tad bit offended, which caused me to burst into a fit of giggles.

"I think she's lost it" Raf muttered, and that triggered me to start crying again. Fuck, why was I such a wreck right now?

"The both of you are acting like drama queens. He lived and he died, get over it" Ann muttered as she came back into the room, handing us both a glass of water.

"You're heartless" Bree pointed accusingly at her. "A monster" I added in a harsh whisper, causing Ann to roll her eyes. I liked her better when she was sweet, now she was acting like a sociopath. How was she not crying?

"Okay ladies, let's calm down" Travis intervened. He held his arms out wide open and grinned. "Group hug?" I groaned in annoyance at the possibility of having to stand up.

"No thank you. I have no energy left in me anymore. I will peacefully die on this couch" I mumbled. Travis pouted at my words.

I felt arms wrap around my torso and I looked up to see Raf grinning. "You're so theatric" I felt a deep chuckle vibrate through his chest, that caused goosebumps to tingle across my skin.

"Yeah well clearly, you're like the Grinch except you have a heart thirty sizes too small" I grumbled causing him to tighten his arms around me. A flurry of butterflies took flight in my stomach and a small smile split across my face.

"Why would you guys watch a movie if you were going to have an emotional breakdown over the death of some stupid fictional guy?" Raf laughed and I pushed him away angrily. "He is not stupid".

Ann looked annoyed with all of us, and I scowled at her lack of empathy towards the horrible situation that we had on our hands. His death was not to be taken lightly.

"So what are we ordering?" Bree suddenly asked, her teary face lightening up at the mention of food. "Chinese" Raf yelled enthusiastically from beside me. I winced at the way he probably pierced my eardrum with that scream.

"Fuck no" she yelled back at an equal volume even though they were barely a metre apart. "Stop yelling. Why don't we order both?" Travis laughed nervously, and the twins looked at him venomously.

"I'm too depressed to eat. Let me wallow in my own grief" I sighed dramatically, earning a bunch of laughs and then the traitorous Bree joined in.

"Come on princesa, we'll take a vote on what to order" Raf's bottom lip slightly jutted out as he looked at me adorably, and I exhaled a shaky sigh.

"Pizza" I murmured which earned a huge shout from Bree. "But you took her side last time" Raf whined like a kid, and my tears gradually dried up as I laughed at his petulant behaviour.

"You called Levi's death stupid, so you're public enemy number one" I shrugged, as a small smirk played on my lips.

Raf grimaced, and I patted his shoulder teasingly. "What about you Ann?" Bree turned to her. "Chinese" she grinned playfully, causing Bree's face to fall.

She turned to Travis, and smirked at Raf who returned the favour. "He's my best friend. So it's settled, we're ordering Chinese" Raf declared proudly.

"Actually, I want pizza" Travis murmured lowly and I stifled a laugh at how scared he sounded. "I'm sorry, what?" Raf glared at Travis incredulously. "I want Pizza" Trav cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I hate all of you except Blaze, cause apparently I don't mean anything to the rest of you anymore" I rolled me eyes at his over the top response.

"Who's the dramatic one now?" I muttered, which earned me a glare.

"I want Chinese" Raf muttered angrily, glaring at the floor as he folded his arms over his chest. These little quirks of his, like getting excited over fairy bread and fighting over a cuisine somehow made him more appealing. He wasn't as rough around the edges as he claimed to be.

"I mean, Travis is right. Order both" I shrugged and Trav sighed in relief. "Thank you. Finally someone values my wonderful ideas".

After another round of pointless arguing, Raf reluctantly asked us all what we wanted and left the room to order it. As soon as he went upstairs, I was ambushed by the other three.

"What changed between you two?"

"Why is there so much tension?"

"Did you kiss?"

I reeled back at the last question directed towards me by Bree, and the three of them stared at me waiting for answers.

"We're just the same way we were" I smiled uncomfortably, suddenly finding the colour of the beanbags really interesting.

"I'm sorry but you two were all over each other. Tell me something happened" Bree grinned cheekily, and I stared at her flatly.

A trickle of insecurity and self-doubt streamed in and I wondered if I should be allowed to do all this? According to them, I was already dating Aiden and how did that make me look?

Did I even deserve to make advances this way when I was supposed to shy away from physical touch in fear of it bruising me? These questions shed light on my character, and the kind of person I was, and what if I didn't like the answers?

A large part of me criticised myself for being so quick to jump on another guy because I didn't deserve that for myself. As much as everyone preached about broken people being just as strong, the truth was it didn't earn you respect. It earned you sympathy and pity paired with a constant reminder that your struggles defined you, not what you did to overcome it.

I was really trying. I was, but it felt like no matter how much progress I made, something would always drag me back to square one and I'd be stuck in that same spiral all over again, trapped in an endless cycle of self-degradation.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a sharp poke on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. You weren't listening. We shouldn't have asked in the first place" Travis looked apologetic and I smiled at him. "No it's fine. Nothing happened, we're just growing closer". Quite literally.

"You two are killing me with the suspense" Ann groaned and I shook my head while laughing. I was about to answer, but was cut off by Raf's voice.

"What suspense?" he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the three of us weirdly.

"Nothing" I said a bit too quickly, and he raised a brow skeptically.

"Dinner will be here in half an hour. What do you guys want to do until then?" Raf asked, and I turned back to the screen. "Another movie?".

"Hell no, I don't want another breakdown on my hands because of Levi" he mockingly stated, and I shot him a huge grin. Okay, maybe my crying was just a tiny bit pointless.

As soon as Raf said it, an argument broke out between Bree and him, where Bree claimed that he was the demonic twin, and was insensitive to other people's feeling.

Honestly, it seemed like the arguments between all of us were always useles and based off of stupid things, but they were entertaining nonetheless.

I leaned back on the couch and grinned as I basked in the hilarity of the situation. I would've never thought a year ago that I would ever be able to find myself a best friend, let alone four.

And maybe one of them was blurring the boundary, and carving a whole new perimeter for himself.

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Conversation had drifted freely until our dinner arrived and by the time we went upstairs due to a ringing doorbell, I had learnt a bunch of trivial things about the other.

Annikah apparently had an undying love for Spongebob, and Rafael used to have a teddy bear that he wouldn't let go until he was ten, who was named Skywalker, owing to his Star Wars obsession at the time. All of this came to the limelight because of Bree.

"What happened to Skywalker?" Travis said while we made our way to the kitchen, and Raf turned scarlet as he glared at Trav. "Don't" he stormed away to answer the doorbell, leaving us all laughing like hyenas.

"Raf was a softie growing up" Bree grinned and I smiled at the thought of a young Rafael running around with a teddy bear, which he would die before he admitted it now.

A part of me wanted to know what caused him to turn to drugs as a solution, but I didn't want to spoil the mood by sticking my nose where it didn't belong.

On Bree's directions, we grabbed the plates and the cutlery and took spots on the table, Travis sitting beside Bree and Ann taking a seat to my right. Raf arrived shortly, still blushing furiously but now with a bunch of takeaway containers in his hand. "The pizza guy is going to be here in five minutes" he muttered, avoiding our gazes.

"Well, thanks for asking if I wanted some" Travis smirked at Raf who was deeply engrossed in admiring his kung pao chicken. "You ordered pizza, deal with it" Raf sassed, deliberately making a show of eating his dinner.

Ann smirked at al of us as she grabbed her food, and after ten torturous minutes, the doorbell rang and Bree raced to the front door. She returned with a stack of pizza boxes and a satisfied grin on her face.

"Dig in" she placed the boxes on the table, and we all ambushed the food at once.

"Sometimes, I wonder who had the amazing idea to put all these heavenly veggies with meat and cheese on dough and think, let's cook it" Travis said, deep in thought as he bit into a slice of his chicken pizza.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I ever even became friends with you" Raf muttered and Travis gasped dramatically. "You wound me, Hernandez".

We all ended up sharing our dinner, and Raf reluctantly offered his food to Bree who looked sheepish as she asked for more.

We were almost done with dinner, when someone's phone pinged with a notification. "It's mine" Raf narrowed his eyes as he took out his phone.

His face drained of all colour as his eyes skimmed over his phone, and his eyes visibly fogged with veritable anger. His laboured breath breezed across my forearm as he lowered his head further, sinking into his seat.

"Raf?" Bree called out to him, but he was stuck in a haze as his sage orbs watered with his intense focus on his screen. Clenching his fists and inhaling a shaky breath, he drew his bottom lip into his teeth, causing it to blanch as he dug his teeth harshly into the pink skin.

I saw his mask slip for a second as he revealed a myriad of emotions swirling beneath his shielded eyes, but what rattled me the most was the torrent of heartbreaking pain that vanquished his usually iron-clad exterior.

With an abruptly sharp motion, he stood up and his chair scraped across the floor with a screeching sound. He charged to the counter and stormed away after clattering his plate into the sink.

I watched with bated breath as he didn't return and my ears suddenly felt hollow, as if an airy imbalance had rendered them unable to hear. My body prickled and an ominous foreboding blanketed me. Something was wrong, very wrong.

Bree still stared at where Raf was sitting, and her eyes mirrored Raf's but with a secondary perspective, as if she knew what had happened and watched it. I gulped down the rest of my food in a rush, feeling a growing pit in my stomach.

I put my plate away and turned around to see the others right behind me. "He'll be by the pool" Bree murmured in a low voice, reading my intentions with a single glance. Of course they had a pool. Wrong time, Blaze.

"Where is it?" I asked hesitantly, and she grabbed my forearm lightly and pulled me away from the kitchen. We went through the living room to the stairs that led upstairs to their bedrooms.

However, she pulled me to a long corridor besides the stairs which ended in a large glass sliding door, leading to a barely lit patio. Their house was pretty confusing, considering I hadn't noticed this before.

"He doesn't share. I'm trying, but he doesn't. Change that" Bree said urgently, with a hint of desperation in her voice and my lips parted in surprise at the helplessness in her voice. I nodded imperceptibly, feeling an invisible burden on my shoulders.

She backed away with a final look of hope, and I took a deep breath as I slid the door open.

The narrow patio was scattered with a few lounge chairs, and dusky lights gave a nightly glow to the outdoor furniture. I would've taken time to appreciate the warm ambience, but my eyes flitted around as I tried to locate Rafael.

However, my entire body went rigid as my eyes accustomed to the lone figure on the side of the pool.

My breath caught in my throat. This wasn't what I had expected.

Hey Babes! How are you doing? I don't really know my thoughts on this chapter, because there was some MAJOR development between Raf and Blaze, but it still feels like a filler. Ugh whatever. Wait have we decided on a ship name yet? I'm so basic, I literally have no ideas.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT MOMENT?! Does it count as a kiss in your books or both? Didn't really take us this long to get here, only about 26 chapters lmao. What are your opinions on that? I hope I did a good job of explaining Blaze's feelings during that moment.

I'm gonna stay silent for once and let you talk about whatever you want in the comments, so go ahead and update me.

I don't have much to say except the fact that you're beautiful and loved. Remember that.

Question: Have you ever had a serious injury?

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