"When the day bleeds into the night and my memories shadow my brain, come save me from that dark abyss and pull me into the light"

❃ B l a z e ❃

"Finally it's Lunch. I'm starving" Bree muttered as we trudged lazily to the Cafeteria.

After our little fight in the parking lot, if it could even be called that, Raf hadn't spoken a word to me. Bree was unusually quiet in Biology, and Jonah wasn't in Physics either.

Following yesterday's sleepover, I thought things would feel calmer, but instead it felt even worse.

I walked into the Cafeteria and felt a daunting gaze drilling holes into my skull. I turned to see Aiden glowering at me venomously, but I didn't have it in me to reciprocate the hatred.

Flashbacks of last night, from the brush of Rafael's lips against mine to his tears played in front of my eyes. Last night was a mistake. His words echoed through my mind, sending a fresh wave of hurt through my bones.

I bit down on my lip the entire time we got our lunches, and felt a churning in my stomach, that only seemed to get more tumultuous with each passing second. There were so many questions that I desperately needed the answers to.

"What happened last night?" I asked Bree unexpectedly and she turned to me, exhaustion clouding her usually bright, brown eyes.

"It's just stuff about my mother. We're not exactly on... good terms with her" she trailed off, as Raf raised his eyes to look at us when we approached the table.

I noticed the hostility in her tone when she talked about their mother, but I gauged my attention on how Bree and Raf shared a look before turning back to their lunches.

Raf was giving me the silent treatment, or at least I assumed he was, because he didn't even look at me before resuming his conversation with Travis.

His face was callous, and a tinge of jealousy sparked in me. I wish I could mask my emotions so easily and act detached like the way he was.

"I have good news" Ann grinned at us, breaking the tension and an involuntary smile split across my face at her excitement.

"I'm going on a date with Serayah on Saturday" Ann's face lit up with joy. "That's amazing" Bree's face mirrored Ann's as she spoke in the same tone as her.

"I'm the one who asked her out" her face reflected pride, causing Travis to grin at her. "It takes guts to be the first person" Bree's face soured at Travis' meaningful words and she glared at him.

"I thought you were keeping it on the down low" I whispered cautiously to Bree, and her face blanched before she nodded meekly.

"There's a tiny problem" Ann glanced at all of us nervously and even Raf lifted his head to look at her curiously.

"I don't know where to take her" her gaze focused on me.

"Are you asking me?" My voice sounded incredulous, and her face scrunched up. "I mean, you've lived here your entire life and you're the only one with a dating history" she said, glancing at Travis pointedly from the side of her eye when he opened his mouth to argue.

"I don't know" I muttered incoherently, and looked up to see the others looking at me curiously, even Raf's emotionless face had morphed into that of interest.

"Haven't been on a date in a long time" I elaborated at their expressions, feeling my cheeks heat up at my embarrassing confession.

Aiden and I had gone on dates, but it had all stopped after Kay's death. I didn't even remember the better memories, cause he had replaced them with nightmares that would haunt me in my sleep and chase me in my future. He had tarnished all the good times, making sure I had nothing left to cherish.

"Need any more reasons?" Raf stated blankly, with the same apathetic tone he had used with me since the morning.

"You wouldn't understand" I glared at him, and he nodded before reiterating his focus on his food.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon us as soon as the words left my mouth, and my gaze fell to the table.

My mind backtracked to the first time Aiden had laid a hand on me. It wasn't always like the way it was now, but it was hard to remember a memory that felt like it could've been in an entirely different timeline.

One punch, right after his first loss of the rugby season. It was followed by a million apologies and promises not to repeat it again, kisses vowing to keep me enthralled in their soft touch. Now, just the memory of his lips would taint my brain with the reminder that I was broken, shattered at his hands.

With the passage of time, his apologies were replaced with insults and his promises dissolved just like my will to fight back. It was a downward fall and he couldn't resist dragging me down with him. The only difference was, he regained his control and I lost my own body and soul.

I was determined to get away from him, but it didn't mean that all that trauma would wash away. I was still just as lost, but this time I needed to find my way out.

"Alright, I have a random thought for you guys" Travis cleared his throat, drawing my attention away from my clenching fists and reddening palms.

"If we spoke in italics, would we be speaking in an accent?" he asked solemnly and a reluctant smile broke across my lips and Bree sighed, all the while staring at him in adoration.

"I'll add to that. If we spoke in capital letters, would we be yelling all the time?" Bree grinned at us.

"Where do you get these thoughts?" Rafael directed towards Travis, who laughed out loud.

"A magician never reveals his secrets" Travis smirked at Raf, who rolled his eyes dramatically.

I tried to stop getting sucked back into that pool of depressive thoughts. Some days were harder than others, and today was proving to be the former.

"You okay?" Bree snapped her fingers in front of my eyes, and I blinked rapidly before turning to her.

"I'm fine"

After a minute of her scrutinising my face and not-so-discreet glances by the others, she finally sighed and went back to arguing with Travis about which was better- hot chocolate or hot cocoa.

The shrill sound of the bell ringing indicated our dispersal, and I didn't waste time getting up or bother waiting for Rafael who seemed intent on ignoring me. Bree muttered that she had a test, and raced off without a goodbye dragging Ann with her.

"Trav?" I called after him, realising how I'd probably have to walk home after school. "Yeah?" He asked in the same tone, a small smile across his face.

"Don't wait up for me after school, I have detention" I muttered the last part under my breath, feeling embarrassed at my first misdemeanor. Now I wasn't a model student, but I never really got into trouble, except for when Mrs. Lively targeted me.

"Did I hear that right? You, Blaze Davis, got detention?" A toothy grin split across his face and he slung an arm around my shoulder.

"What do you mean by that? I can cause trouble if I want to. It's just that I don't want to" I asserted my point, which was useless considering Travis replied with an unconvinced 'sure'

"Anyways, I can drop Ann off and then come back for you" Trav said casually and I shook my head against his arm.

"You're not my personal chauffeur. I can walk" I scoffed as his eyebrows scrunched, and he opened his mouth to retort.

"I'll drop her" Raf's spoke gruffly from behind me, and he stepped in front of us as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Now he speaks" I muttered under my breath, but clearly he heard it as he shifted his rigid stare onto me, eyeing Trav's arm around my shoulder.

"I can walk perfectly fine for fifteen minutes" I addressed Travis, ignoring Raf's burning gaze on my face.

When he didn't say anything, I scowled at Travis and bitterly made a jab at Rafael. "I'm not some damsel in distress. I can walk home just fine, and I am perfectly okay with being alone".

"Are we still talking about the same thing?" Travis asked uncomfortably, and I sighed in frustration.

"Anyways, don't wait for me. I can figure stuff out for myself" my indignant voice caused Raf to clench his jaw and I saw his nostrils flare.

"No" with that one word he brushed past me, and I felt a swirl of irritation and anger fill my stomach.

"You have to be patient with him" Travis spoke softly as he removed his arm from my shoulder, and turned to face me.

"As much as he likes to show that he's perfectly fine with his emotions, he isn't. Trust me when I say he's been through a lot" it was the first time I was hearing so much compassion and empathy radiating from Trav's voice.

"Took him about 8 months to open up to me. It's happening way quicker with you. Just give him time" his eyes held a sincerity which I would never associate with Travis. Just another indication that Raf's past ran so much deeper than he showed on the surface.

I nodded fervently and smiled at him, before turning to go to my next class.

"Oh, and Blaze?" Trav's voice called out to me, and I turned around to see him leaning against the lockers with the same veracity reflecting on his face.

"He's not the only one that pretends to be alright" his voice wasn't taunting, rather it was sincere and worried.

"Be there for one another. You need each other more than you think".

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

"How are the projects coming along?" Mrs. Reynolds voice sliced me out of my daze that I had been since Lunch, effectively pulling me back to the present.

Raf had continued to ignore me in History, Jonah wasn't in Math and I was still overthinking Travis' words in my head. A part of me knew they were right, but the other major half kept reminding me that Rafael had been adamant on keeping his distance whenever he opened up. How was I supposed to overcome that?

"How about you two?" Mrs. Reynolds approached our desk and I felt embarrassed to say we hadn't even started on our work.

I was about to apologise, when a monotonous voice interrupted me mid-breath. "It's going great. We're working on a presentation on the chemical and industrial uses of organic hydrocarbons".

My mouth gaped open as Mrs. Reynolds looked at Raf, clearly impressed. "That's a good idea" she smiled at the both of us, before going over to the next desk.

I turned to Raf, and he glanced at me once before looking back down at his textbook. He hadn't spoken a word during the entirety of our Chemistry class, which was about to end in a few minutes and I wanted him to drop the dispassionate aura he had been sporting since the morning.

"When did you decide what we were doing?" I tiled my head to see his reaction.

"When you didn't mention doing anything about it for like oh, a month and then some" a small smile was playing on his lips, a minimal one but I noticed it, along with his sudden shift in emotions.

"Smartass" I muttered under my breath, feeling my face heat up- from embarrassment or something else? I don't know.

There was another stretch of silence, which was plainly awkward and I fidgeted with my sleeves pulling them down as long as they could go.

The ringing of the bell caused me to release a long breath and I packed all my stuff, noticing Raf do the same.

When I exited the class to turn towards the direction of the parking lot, a hand nudged my shoulder. Raf was looking at me and murmured under his breath, "We've got detention".

"Sorry" I muttered, walking beside him as neither of us made a move to make conversation.

"Look-" he was cut off by Mrs. Lively's annoying voice. "Where do you think you're going? You have detention" she glared at the two of us and I ignored her as I walked into the classroom.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Raf muttered angrily from behind me, and followed me to two empty seats in the back.

I looked around the room to see some students from my year group and some from the above, all scattered amongst the front rows.

I put my bag on the floor, and pulled out some Math homework that I had to do, and shifted awkwardly as Raf stared at me. His desk was empty, and he was sitting idly with his head on his arms.

"Don't you have something to do?" I whispered to him, noticing Mrs. Lively's beady gaze on us. "No" he replied simply and I rolled my eyes, before getting back to my work.

"I expect all of you to be silent while I attend to some work in the office" her eyes were honed in our direction, and she left after shooting all of us a cautionary look.

I tapped my pen on the desk, but stopped as soon as multiple heads turned to me in annoyance.

"Blaze" my name rolled off his tongue in a rough whisper and I darted my eyes towards him to see his sight fixed on me in the same way as yesterday, a flame burning beneath his green eyes. "Yeah?" I tried not to get transfixed by his gaze, but ended up staring back at him, waiting for his next words.

"I'm sorry" his apology was imbued with regret and a ripple of guilt.

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted" I sighed. "No actually, you didn't" he shook his head, causing a few copper brown strands to splay across his forehead.

"I did, I got angry for no reason. I get it, it's hard opening up to someone you barely know" the words rambled out of my mouth and his face contorted into hurt and conflict.

"But you're not someone I barely know" he whispered and his eyes held mine in an avid stare, challenging my words and breaking my armour.

"I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I really didn't mean to" the way his words struck a chord in my heart made me scared. How was one person able to incite so many emotions in me, all at once?

"Talking helps, right?" he asked timidly and I nodded encouragingly.

"Just hear me out then. Please?" the hushed plea fell from his lips urgently and I knew this was another step at splintering the walls encircling him.

"I can't tell you why I almost took the pills last night. I just need...time" he was choosing his words carefully, and it was obvious he was treading on unchartered territory.

"What I want to apologise is for acting like a jerk afterwards. I'm sorry. I screw things up, you should get used to it" a humourless laugh escaped his lips and a girl from the front turned to look at us.

Raf was oblivious to the judgmental look on her face as she eyed the both of us, and I ignored her after shooting her a harsh glare.

"Will you stop degrading yourself?" I softly whispered to him and he looked taken aback, and then pressed his lips together before continuing.

"Look, my apologies suck. I think it's pretty clear. I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. And now I'm moving off topic" he rambled on before shaking his head and gripping his desk tightly.

"Okay fuck this. What I'm trying to say is all of this is hard for me, and I heard what Bree told you. My mother is a horrible person, that's all I can tell you right now" Raf's voice was awash with the same pain I had seen him in last night, but the only difference right now was he was saying all this willingly.

"How you reacted was justified, because I would've responded way worse after seeing someone I loved almost overdose" his face froze, syncing with my widened eyes as we stared at each other. "I-I meant cared for" he murmured, and his cheeks flushed crimson.

"Promise me one thing" I stated before I changed my mind.

His eyebrows scrunched as he nodded hesitantly. "You need to tell Bree about this" I waited for him to yell at me or storm away, but surprisingly he didn't.

He looked at me tenderly, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. Guilt and hurt shadowed his face as he looked down while fidgeting with his fingers. "Okay" he nodded after a few beats of silence.

My lips parted as I stared at him in surprise, and he lifted his head to stare at me deeply, a flicker of despondency sparking beneath his eye.

"Just please don't walk away" his fingers ran through his hair as he turned away from me, and his despair once again penetrated deep into my chest.

"I won't. You need to trust that I won't" I sighed tapping my finger on his desk to get his attention. "I do trust you" he nodded slowly, and a small smile adorned his lips.

"Good, because I would feel embarrassed if I was the only one trusting you" I met his smile with one of my own, and a small dimple popped on his left cheek.

"Sort of ironical that I'm the one oversharing then" he grinned playfully, and all his previous apprehension vanished. However, my face fell at his words.

He was right, I was a hypocrite for asking him to open up when I was acting the complete opposite.

Raf's eyebrows furrowed as he scanned my face. "I'm sorry. It was just a joke, sweetheart. You don't have to babble like me" he smiled forcefully.

I stayed silent, still feeling a consuming guilt overpowering me. I should be the one apologising for being so deceiving. I mean it probably looked I was extracting his secrets through some truth serum and then plotting a huge revenge plan like a rogue evil scientist.

"Woah Blaze, calm down. You're not deceiving" he looked at me funnily. Wait I said that out loud? Fuck.

"Yes you did" he smirked smugly at me, and I narrowed my eyes at him before scoffing. "That was a test to see if you would tell me if I did anything stupid".

"I would much rather watch you adorably embarrass yourself actually" he grinned wickedly at me and I flipped him off, before averting my gaze.

"You can't stay away from me, can you?" he joked and I noticed the smile on his lips from the corner of my eye.

"Says the one who apologised first. I can hold a grudge if I want to" I smiled innocently at him, causing him to playfully glare at me.

"I'm not sure you can deflect my charm. Have you seen me?" a cocky grin spread across his face.

"I don't see anything worthwhile" I added with an evil grin on my face. Raf's face fell and his bottom lip jutted out in a childish pout.

"Might want to rethink that" he said as he shifted his desk closer to mine, causing a grating sound against the linoleum flooring.

I was about to respond, but was cut short by Mrs. Lively's return. As if already sensing the two of us, she customarily glared. "You can go now. I have some work to do" she announced and I couldn't help but grin.

"This isn't something to be happy about. You were here for a reason" her voice was projected towards me, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"I was only ten minutes late" muttering under my breath, I let out a harsh breath.

"Can we go now?" Raf irritably asked Mrs. Lively, who glowered at him and then nodded grudgingly.

Packing all my things, I avoided Mrs. Lively's gaze on us as we left.

"Why is she so stuck up?" Raf rolled his eyes at my question. "That stick up her ass must hurt, so she takes it out on us".

"I'm dropping you off" he reminded me and I glared at him. "Do you have a problem with me walking?".

"No, but I have a problem with you walking on your own when I could clearly drop you off. Someone with common sense would probably agree with me" he nudged my shoulder and I frowned at him.

"Maybe I just want a walk" Arguing with him was pretty fun. He groaned before running a hand through his hair, which was something he did when he was nervous or frustrated.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" he muttered and I responded quickly. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?".

"I'm kidding, you can drop me home. It would be a privilege for you" I smirked misceviously, earning an incredulous stare from him.

My smile dropped as my eyes skimmed across the parking spot and fell on a familiar Toyota Camry. More specifically, the person inside who was staring directly at me before he stepped out of the car, approaching us.

"Hey Blaze" Jonah looked entirely disheveled and exhausted as his dejected eyes met mine. His hair was ruffled messily, and his eyes were ringed with dark circles and prominent eye bags that aged his entire face a few years.

"Hi" I furrowed my eyebrows as I saw his clothes were in the same rumpled state as his entire body, and hanging loosely off his body. "Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly and Raf glanced between the two of us blankly.

"I don't know. Can I talk to you?" his voice was strained yet soft, and I nodded. He glanced warily at Raf who cleared his throat. "I have to drop her home".

"It's okay, I can" Jonah stated it as a decision, more than an offer. It was impossible to miss the distress in his tone.

"Are you sure?" Raf glanced at Jonah the same way I did, however his gaze was more uncertain rather than worried. "Yes" Jonah answered him curtly, then sighed.

No further words were exchanged as Jonah turned around and returned to his car.

"Call me once you're home" Raf asserted and I nodded, taken aback by the intensity of his stare.

"Bye" I smiled at him, before glancing at Jonah who was sitting in the front seat, with his head resting against the steering wheel.

Just as I was about to open the door to the passenger seat, Raf's voice called out through the fairly empty parking lot. I turned around to see him looking at me with a ferocity I could make out even from a few feet away.

"I lied" his hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he held my eyes in a steady, flaming gaze. My eyebrows drew together as I replied, "About what?".

My breath caught in my thoughts as a scorching fire burnt beneath his eyes and his lips set into a thin line. He regarded me fervidly, before speaking.

"Last night wasn't a mistake".

Hi Babes! Well hi again haha since this is the second chapter of the day.

Thoughts on the chapter? I wrote that apology scene with my degrading mental health and a sleep deprived head so I'm sorry if it's horrible lol.

Omg also thank you so much to @readpollux for creating such beautiful artwork for me in her book 'Entitled'. It is literally so beautiful and I freaking adore it. I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT FREAKING OUT cause technically it's my first reader/fan art! You should go check it out!

Finals have me stressed as heck, so it might be a while till I update again. But knowing me, I might even go on a spree and write I don't really know. Don't even ask how I got these chapters out. Here's to hoping I don't fail and have a mental breakdown smack in the middle of an exam.

Also, do you like these relatively shorter chapters or one huge ass chapter? Let me know, so I can figure it out before the next update.

Question: What's one movie you can never get tired of watching?

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