"Grief is a dark spirit that haunts you from the moment it lays eyes on you. No matter how young or old you are, it feeds off your life, sucking the joy out of everything. All you can do is hope it's influence lessens after time, even when you know it'll hang on to your very last breath"

❃ B l a z e ❃

When I neared the car, I saw Annikah was in the middle seat, so at least I wouldn't be sitting there. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't even know I was holding.

As soon as I got in, I was greeted by a citrusy smell, something that resembled tangerines and a faint hint of cologne. It was a weird combination, yet somehow appealing.

Rafael had his head pressed against the back of the driver's seat and his eyes were closed. He perked up on seeing Bree and I enter, and his eyes were glazed over with consuming guilt. I felt a pang of regret and I reluctantly gave him a small smile.

His face looked better than it did on Friday and a thousand times better than Aiden. His left eye wasn't swollen anymore, it was just bruised around his eyelids and all of his cuts seemed to be healing. His face didn't appear swollen, it was almost as if these scars added to his rugged beauty. His knuckles had been split open and they were still bruised, but they were recovering. I tore my gaze away from the veins outlining the back of his hand.

There were faint bruises along his jaw and cheek, but he didn't seem to mind showing them off as he had barely worn anything that would cover his face.

Annikah was on her phone, and grinned at me when I got in, while Travis leaned over from the driver's seat to give me a fist bump. I had to give it to him, he was one weirdly energetic guy.

"How fare thee on this pleasant day, thou fair maiden?" Travis grinned and I couldn't help but grin back. His enthusiasm was contagious. "Don't be fooled by that pretty face. He asked both Annikah and I the same question, except he called me a peasant" Bree glared at him as Travis pouted.

"Aww shucks, you think I'm pretty?" Travis smirked at Bree and she flushed a bright pink. Rafael's head shot up at that and he sneered at Travis. "Hey. That's my sister. Shut the fuck up" Bree looked embarrassed as Travis just ignored Raf's comment.

"Cool it, Bruce Banner" Travis rolled his eyes but not before Raf shot him a murderous glare. I stifled a laugh at their banter.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked cheerfully, blatantly ignoring the tension surfacing between Rafael and I. He was looking at me so intensely, that I sneaked a peek at him and saw him staring at me with a promise in his eyes, I need to talk to you.

"You've eaten right?" Rafael said and everyone but Travis' faces turned to him. I looked at him and was taken aback by the regret shining in his eyes. Bree smiled softly at him and Annikah was nudging me with her elbow.

"Yeah" I nodded at him, looking him straight in the eye, trying to convey a feeling of reassurance. He's trouble. Andrea's voice echoed in my mind. No, Aiden had instigated the fight. But Rafael was the one who sent him to the hospital. Would he do that to me? I grimaced at my absurd train of thought and broke our eye contact, looking out the window.

"Hey, put on some music" Travis chucked his phone at Bree. "It's bad enough that she won't let me sit in the front seat, now you're giving her the veto power of music?" Rafael groaned, exasperated.

"Fuck you too, dear brother. You've been assigned the backseat for obvious reasons" Bree rolled her eyes. "And I've got way better taste in music than you do".

Rafael scowled at her and out of nowhere, One Direction started blasting through the speakers. And yeah now I'm back at your door, you're looking at me unsure. I should've seen it before...It was paused and everyone stared at Travis incredulously.

"Seriously dude? What are you, 11?" Rafael groaned and Bree and I chuckled. I wasn't going to judge him for his music choice, One Direction never ran cold. "Respect the boys" Annikah glared at Rafael, pointing a stern finger at him. He looked bemused and must I say, slightly scared.

"Excuse you, its a good song. Plus if you knew that song, it means you listen to them and you know the lyrics but won't admit it" Travis retorted, stating the obvious facts. He grabbed his phone from Bree's hand and resumed the song.

"I was so stupid for letting you go, but I-I-I know you're still the one. You might have moved on, but girl you should know" Travis started yelling along to the lyrics and by now, I could see Rafael shaking his head and covering his ears.

Bree was just looking at him with incredulity and a hint of adoration in her features. Cute.

Travis was still screaming insanely off key but by now Annikah, Bree and I had joined in while laughing like maniacs. Rafael was watching all of us with a playfully stern glower but he was quite amused. His foot was tapping to the beat.

Travis occasionally glanced at Bree from the corner of his eyes while singing aloud raucously. She would pretend to roll her eyes but would sneak a glance too. It was adorable to watch.

I don't know why but I had a feeling Travis was playing this song for a reason.

"Guilty. Foot tapping is an obvious sign of love for the song" Travis suddenly shrieked from the front seat.

"Fuck off bro" Rafael grinned at him, and I wished I could contain this entire moment in a snapshot. All five of us being carefree and having fun. The life I should be living everyday.

Throughout the rest of the ride, Travis played a mix of boy band music. We all sang along and it was like a trashy, manic, horribly off key version of karaoke. It was fun.

I could feel Rafael looking over at me and I was doing the same. There were so many unspoken questions, especially from my side that I wanted the answers to, but I didn't want to come on too strong. I still didn't know how I felt about the entire situation on Friday.

Currently, all the conflicting thoughts and doubts that I was drowning in flew right out of the window. No one wanted to address the elephant in the room, and I was more than happy to oblige.

I still didn't know the plan and guessed food was our first stop as Travis stopped in front of a shopping centre with tons of stores and restaurants. I had been here a lot during freshman year and the years before that, sometimes with Kiara and sometimes with Andrea too. It hit me that I could've applied for a job here, but I was more than happy to work for Charlotte.

We all got out of the car and Travis was still humming to a tune when we stood in front of all the stores. There were lots of people milling around, some walking in and out of stores while some casually strolled around.

"Now, we're going to the arcade" Travis announced excitedly, his eyes twinkling with eagerness. Wait when did an arcade open up here? He seemed like a tour guide. "Hell No" Bree and Annikah said together, then looked at each other and grinned.

"I'm sorry, who said you had a say?" Rafael smirked at them. Then he looked at me. "Don't look at me. I'm just a passenger on the ride here" I held my hands up in a placating gesture.

"When did an arcade open here?" I voiced my thoughts. "About ten months ago" Travis said, surprised I didn't know about it. In my defence, I had more pressing matters to attend to at the time.

"It'll be fun. I haven't been to one in ages" Travis tried to convince the two people beside me who didn't seem all too eager.

"I haven't either. Since I was 10" Bree glared at him. "Give it a go, Bree" Rafael intervened and she huffed. "Fine whatever" she muttered and Annikah nodded her head.

"Onto the arcade" Travis pointed his finger towards the direction of the arcade, wherever that was. A few adults shot us weird looks.

"Do you even know how to play?" Travis grinned at Bree. "Better than you, jerk" she answered. "And you?" he pointed to Annikah and I. I nodded my head and Annikah said "I guess, I'm not sure".

Rafael was silent as we passed various shops and I looked over to see him deep in thought. I guessed now wasn't the best time to talk, so I just looked back ahead, to see Travis and Bree arguing about something.

Once we were in the arcade, which was quite large, Travis got us all our cards and handed them to us. "We could have paid for our own" I told him but he held a hand up. "You're getting free arcade money, you should be ecstatic" he countered. "Thank you" I wasn't going to lie, I was looking forward to it.

"Where to first?" Annikah's soft voice was barely audible over the music playing overhead. "Bumper cars" Travis yelled, practically running across the floor and pushing young kids around.

We all trailed behind him, obviously entertained by his love for the arcade. We swiped our cards and decided who to pair up with, as these were doubles.

"I'll sit with Blaze" Rafael declared. "And you felt the need to mention this, why?" Travis grinned playfully then he turned his attention to Bree and Annikah. I glared at Travis but he ignored me.

"Ladies, I know everyone wants me, but only one of you can have me. Who wants to have the pleasure of riding with me" At his words, he received a strong smack to his head by Rafael and a murderous glower by Bree. Annikah looked amused.

"Unless you can sprout a pair of ovaries and grow boobs within a minute, I highly doubt you're my type" She smirked and Travis turned a bright shade of red, discomfort shadowing his features.

Rafael started chuckling and Bree and I looked shocked, yet coyly smirked at Travis and her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry" Travis apologised profusely, his face still flustered. "Don't worry, I'll give you tips on what girls like. Looks like you need it" Annikah smugly smiled as she patted his shoulder playfully and then went over to an empty car.

Where was the shy girl from school? I loved this version.

Rafael was still quite literally guffawing, clutching his stomach as people around us shot us annoyed looks at his howls of laughter. Bree was smirking at the embarrassment lighting up Travis' face. "Serves you right" she rolled her eyes and went over to her car with Travis in tow.

"Lets go. I'm on the wheel" I told Rafael and he complied, following after me. The rest of the cars were pretty much empty, and some were occupied by 12-year old looking boys and girls.

"This'll be fun" I muttered as I strapped in and saw Raf doing the same. "Don't crash us" he solemnly stated and I laughed at the seriousness in his voice. "I drive better than Lewis Hamilton" I joked.

He grabbed the front of the car and my eyes flew to his busted knuckles. I gulped, trying to rid myself of the negative thoughts bubbling in my brain.

"We're going to crush you" Rafael yelled over to Travis who flipped his middle finger. The employee looked disapprovingly at him and the younger kids looked amused.

"I'll be the crowned queen of bumper cars" Annikah piped up from her car. "In your dreams, kid" Travis yelled and Annikah was now fuming. The both of them pressed down on the pedal, racing towards each other. Well, I mean as fast as you could go in a bumper car.

"No head on collisions" the employee yelled as a warning from outside the zone. "Got that ringmaster" Bree yelled. At this rate, we would be kicked out in less than an hour.

The employee seemed annoyed with all of us as he glanced at his watch, waiting for our fifteen minutes to get over.

"Let's get this shitshow on the road" Rafael grinned as I stepped on the pedal. As I accelerated further, I felt a car strike our back and we propelled forward. Annikah was grinning evilly at us. "Game On" I smirked at her as she mimicked war paint with her fingers.

For the next ten minutes, we were acting like runaways from a mental institution. Travis got into a fight with the 12-year olds and now he was raging a battle against them. Bree looked defeated by his side, muttering under her breath.

Annikah was repeatedly bumping into us and I returned the favour gladly. Sometimes when we bumped too hard, I would wince and groan as my torso fired up with pain, but I blocked it as soon as it came. Rafael just looked happy to be here, a complete opposite of his mood on Friday.

We still had to talk, but I pushed the swelling anxiety to the back of my brain. Right now I was focused on having fun. Who knew how long it would last?

"Your time's up" the employee shouted with joy from the sidelines. He looked as if he had been waiting to say that.

We all got out of the cars and I momentarily felt disoriented, resulting in Rafael placing a hand on my shoulder. I leaned away and loathing flooded my veins. Why couldn't I just be normal?

He masked his hurt with a small smile and we waited outside for the others to join us. Bree and Travis were arguing, which seemed like a regular sight by now.

"Don't they get tired of fighting?" Annikah commented when she reached us. "They hate each other, what do you expect?" Rafael rolled his eyes. "I'm not so sure about that.." I murmured under my breath and was glad to see Raf hadn't heard.

I wondered if Bree knew that Rafael was taking drugs. Maybe it was one time. But something told me it wasn't. Travis was definitely helping Rafael hide it by keeping Bree in the dark, as I remembered how he had distinctly warned me not to tell her. I wasn't going to snitch, but a large chunk of me was concerned about what Rafael was involved with.

As we neared them, the topic of their argument came to light.

"You were fighting with fucking 12 year olds, Trav. What do you want me to do? Give you a damn trophy?" Bree argued to which Travis retorted. "You could thank me for not letting us get our asses handed to us by the poster kids for before puberty hits"

The kids looked at Travis with hatred burning in their eyes and I couldn't control the laugh that escaped me. It was a few seconds later, but I was still laughing so hard that a very uncharacteristic snort left me.

"Okay there, Peppa Pig. That's enough" Rafael smirked at me. "Did you just call me a pig?" I glared at him. "What? At least she's cute" he shot back and then a faint colour seeped through his cheeks.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he held his hands up. "Don't sweat it. I'll call you a monkey next time" I punched him on his shoulder.

"I'm going to go check out the games over there" Annikah pointed to another corner of the arcade where some kids and a female employee were standing. "I'll come with" I said and Bree offered too.

"Nope. I'm fine" she declined and shot us down. She walked away and we were left to decide what to do.

"Air hockey" Travis suggested, more like demanded. "Do you have a weird obsession with arcade games?" Bree rolled her eyes. "And you're picking up on this now?" I joked.

We went over to the hockey table and swiped our cards. "You and me" Travis pointed to Rafael and Raf smirked evilly. "Oh it's on, Willows".

"This is going to be a battle filled with testosterone" Bree muttered.

For the next five minutes, Travis and Rafael were aggressively gliding their pucks across the surface, trying to defend their goal slots. "Take that dipshit. And Hernandez takes the win" Raf hollered as he got ahead of Travis. He had won and was shoving it in Trav's face. "Its fucking rigged" Travis argued.

I wanted to bang my head against the table at their constant yells and insults. We were receiving way too many disdainful looks from parents and kids alike. I was still waiting for someone to pick us up by our collars and throw us out.

When it was my turn, I sighed with relief. Bree was grinning at me. Unlike the boys, we were here for fun, not to have a duel. I thought about rolling my sleeves up in a joking gesture, but decided against it.

"And for Round 2, we have Davis vs Hernandez número dos. Can a mere peasant understand the rules and regulations of a complicated game known to only the higher strata of society for ages.." Travis stopped at the threatening glare Bree shot him.

"If you don't shut it, I won't hesitate to shove this puck straight into your mouth" Travis' eyes widened in horror as he backed a few steps away.

For the next few minutes, we played and much to my surprise, I ended up winning.

This was turning out to be way more fun than expected.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

It was half an hour later, and we were still at the hockey table. Travis had the genius idea of battling with a ten-year old. Multiple times.

He had currently already lost seven games to a very smug-looking kid who was overflowing with confidence. Even, Raf had stepped in a couple times and he had lost too. They had credited their cards multiple times, always ending up losing their money. It was like a premature, child safe form of gambling.

It was embarrassing to see a couple of high-schoolers lose to a kid who would barely pass the height requirement for a roller coaster.

Now, according to Raf and Travis, 'it was a matter of defending their honour'.

Bree and I had already strolled around the arcade a few times, even playing a few games and winning some lollies on the claw thing, whatever it was called.

We had caught Annikah chatting up the female employee from earlier. Her dark mocha skin was flawless and she had curly hair that was pulled into a messy ponytail. From the distance, I could make out a few tattoos on her forearm and a nose piercing that glistened in the harsh light. She was quite a few inches taller than Annikah and they were talking animatedly.

We shot Annikah an encouraging smile and she blushed and looked away.

We were now back at the table, and the feud was still going on. I wondered if the boy's parents were around, or if they had just left him at the arcade. If I was his mother, I would be dragging him away at the profanities thrown around by the boys.

"He's a ten year old kid, for Christ's sake. Can we go now?" Bree emphasised by gesturing with her hands. "We're going to win this one, kiddo" Raf smirked at the boy who was pompously smirking. "Bring it on, old man" Travis fumed at this.

For the next few minutes, the ultimate contest dragged on with Travis trying to defend his dignity, and the kid trying to defend his title. Rafael was screaming at Travis to focus harder, like an arcade coach. Maybe they could join the air hockey Olympics after this. I smiled to myself at that thought.

At the end of the game, we looked at the score to see Travis and Raf had finally won. Bree and I sighed in relief as Travis and Rafael were happily announcing their win.

"Bam. Take that you little shit" Travis exclaimed, pointing at the kid. "Looks like we've been crowned the undefeated champs" Raf added. The kid looked at them in bewilderment.

"You won one time. One. Out of eight" he explained slowly by holding a finger up, as if talking to a toddler. I guess that was arguable as the boys were certainly acting like it.

"It's always the final game that counts" Travis stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Okay, let's go. You're embarrassing me" Bree pulled the both of them away. "We're getting out of here".

"Hey, we still have to go bowling" Travis whined. "Have you lost your mind? You're literally fighting with kids out there. Kids!" Bree threw her hands up in defeat.

"We've still got time to spend, don't be such a sour wuss" Rafael riled her up further. "I swear if you say one more stupid thing, I'll be the first person to kick your ass" she threatened.

I texted Annikah to tell her to just meet us at the bowling section of the arcade.

Once we got there, we grabbed the rank-smelling shoes that deserved to be burnt in my opinion. This was one of the many disadvantages of bowling, the main one being I always lost.

Annikah joined us with a huge grin on her face. "Ann, are you sure you came here for us?" Bree smirked at her and Annikah rolled her eyes, dodging the question.

Travis was the first to bowl, his ball rolling into the gutter. "Rookie" Rafael snickered at him, as Travis replied "Let's see how well you do".

Rafael stood up next, holding the bowling ball between his fingers. The veins on his arm became prominent and I averted my gaze, feeling my cheeks burn. Seriously, veins?

His ball rolled down a perfect straight line, earning him a strike on his first go. "That's how you do it" a cocky grin spread across his face.

After him was Bree. I guess she definitely shared the bowling gene with Raf, because she earned herself a spare. "Kids, take notes" she flicked her wrist dismissively.

I dreaded my turn, already knowing how bad I was going to screw up. I awkwardly picked up my ball, and failed at trying to understand the physics of bowling. I don't know when the ball left my hand, but I heard it rolling down the gutter. As expected.

"Hey, at least we're in the same boat" Travis beamed at me. "Want a lesson?" Raf smirked at me, his lips turned up at the corners in amusement. "I think I'll pass".

When it was Annikah's turn, she got a 7, which was more than I could say for Travis and I.

The game dragged on for a couple of turns, I ended up scoring a little, but I was still last on the scoreboard. I still played as horribly as I remembered. Travis had now significantly improved.

I now had two turns left to go. I stepped up and felt Rafael following me. "I can't watch this anymore. Let me teach you" he muttered as he put his arm around my shoulder and leaned down behind me.

I hated myself for flinching away, and causing him to look emotionally wounded. This was one of the many things I wished I could change about myself- my inability to not recoil from physical touch.

"I won't hurt you" he whispered softly as his breath fanned my cheek and my ear. I was engulfed by that similar cinnamon smell which reminded me of scones, which had the effects of a tranquilliser on me.

What the fuck? I was acting like a dog, talking about people's scents.

His arm was now snaked around my own and his fingers were above mine. His bruised and callous skin brushed against mine, and I relaxed as he curved his fingers across my own. I just hoped he didn't notice the goosebumps rising on my skin. This really seemed straight out of some retro movie, but it still managed to knock the breath out of me.

His front was pressed against my back and I could feel his hair tickle my neck. I was scared to move an inch in fear of touching our faces which were merely centrimetres apart.

One tilt to the right and his cheek would be pressed against my own.

There was a part of me screaming 'whore, you're a whore'. Just the words Aiden loved calling me. But I decided on ignoring that. Right now, I wasn't ashamed to admit that I was fancying the contact.

"You should probably focus ahead, sweetheart" his voice sounded very gravelly next to my ear and it took everything in me not to flutter my eyelids shut. His hair was now grazing my cheek as he leant down.

I was really taking hypersensitivity to the next level.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from blurting something that would end up biting me in the ass. Knowing myself, there was a huge chance I would do something like that.

"Lean a little forward, and keep a controlling grip on the ball. Once you're ready to let go, pull your arm back, then let your arm glide forward and release. But gently" he continued explaining, but I was too focused on his damn intoxicating scent that I was barely processing his words.

"...and then you just do the Harlem shake" he was speaking something but I was too dazed to focus. "Mmhmm" I nodded my head. Then his words hit me and I suddenly straightened, my head banging against his chest.

I turned around to see him standing a little further away than before, smirking at me gleefully. "Fuck you" I scowled at him. Then, I turned around and did what he said. At least whatever part I had heard.

I ended up hitting seven, which was a fucking victory for me, and I was proud to gloat about it. "And that, is how you do it kiddos" I dusted some imaginary fluff off my shoulders and grinned at Rafael, patting his shoulder.

"I'm the one who taught you" he grumbled as I made my way back. "So? I'm the one who bowled it" I smirked at him as he frowned at me.

"He just needed an excuse to do that" Bree was cheekily smiling and Annikah looked about as satisfied as the Cheshire Cat.

I didn't say a word, still comprehending the feel of his skin against mine and his unique fragrance overpowering my senses. Wow, I really was acting like a touch-deprived lunatic.

After the last round, we saw the scoreboard and it was as expected. I was last and Rafael was first, with Bree as a close second. Travis' face fell on seeing his name in the middle. Then his face lit up as his gaze shifted.

"Mission accomplished, little twerp going down" he yelled at a kid in the next lane. On closer notice, it was the kid from earlier. Looking at his screen, he had bowled a gutter ball for the past two turns, and Travis was more than happy to remind him of that.

The kid looked horrified at Travis.

"The little fucker" Rafael muttered under his breath, grinning evilly. Sometimes I felt Travis and Raf had a dictionary more colourful than the rainbow.

At the exact time, a few employees approached us together and were now herding us up like sheep.

And exactly ten minutes later, with more than necessary brute force and a lot of insults thrown around, we were asked to leave the arcade not so nicely. Basically we managed to get ourselves kicked out of a place that people usually came to have fun, because we had just a little bit too much fun.

"I still won" Rafael announced once we were a couple of feet from the place where we had embarrassingly had our downfalls.

"It's a conspiracy against me" Travis angrily said, still salty about his altercation with the 'arcade authorities'.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that" Rafael cockily stated. He walked ahead as for emphasis. Everyone was really acting laid back today which put me way more at ease.

"I could've used a lesson" Travis was muttering. "Sorry I'm done for the day. Plus, you stink" Raf grinned wickedly, looking back at us. "That's cause I borrowed your cologne" Travis retorted. "And who said I wanted it from you?" he added so softly, that Rafael didn't hear, even if he was a few feet ahead of us. Travis looked at Bree meaningfully, and she stared right back, oblivious to our prying eyes.

I could literally cut all this tension with a knife.

"They're a thing aren't they?" Ann whispered to me. I looked at them to still see them walking closer than the rest of us. "Not yet or I'm not sure. I really don't know"

Rafael was blissfully ignorant to everything going on right behind his back. Literally.

I looked at the time and realised we had been in the arcade for a little over three hours. Time really flew by quick.

"Now, we can finally eat because someone couldn't stop obsessing over arcade games" Raf announced to the group, pointedly looking at Travis who had suddenly moved away from Bree.

"Admit it. It was a great idea" Travis said a bit too loudly. "Oh it definitely was" Annikah grinned at him. I cocked an eyebrow at her, grinning as I already knew why she had a fun time.

"What do we want to eat?" Bree asked, looking around at the small restaurants and cafés dotted in our surroundings.

My eyes fell on a café tucked away between two stores. There were a few customers, but not a lot. Honestly, I had never been there, but it seemed good enough.

I pointed it out to the others and they shrugged, not really caring. When we entered, the appetising smell of food cooking reached my nose.

The place was beautiful once we entered and I was surprised none of us had been here before. Although, three of us were still fairly new. It was a cross between a café and a bistro, however there were only a few tables outside.

The entire theme was bohemian but it wasn't over the top. The parallel side walls of the café had cushioned sofas stretching on continuous along the length of the entire wall. Above the sofas, were various decor pieces and canvases and the table and chairs were in front of the sofas. It was really pretty, all in all.

We all took a seat and I saw a couple of people chatting on tables a bit further from us. The place had waiters that didn't really have a uniform, they all just wore a plain white tee with pants or skirts, which just seemed way cooler for some reason.

Annikah, Travis and Bree took a seat on the sofa and Raf and I sat on the chairs. We were sitting and talking for a few minutes when a guy our age came over wearing the same thing as the waiters. I froze on seeing his face.

"Blaze" he said, shock written on his face. "Logan" I stared wide-eyed at the boy who had once taken me on a date in freshman year.

He was staring at me, a mix of guilt and horror on his face. In a way I understood his emotions, he wasn't a close friend but he was definitely a guy that used to rank high on my friend list.

Raf cleared his throat from beside me and I looked over to see him glaring daggers at Logan, who was still staring at me. I suddenly felt really uncomfortable.

"It's been long" he muttered. "No, we actually go to the same school" I couldn't help but bite out. A bitter part of me was resurfacing.

"You know what I mean" he looked at me meaningfully. "No actually I don't, because the last I remembered I wasn't the one who ditched all contact" I don't know where all this resentment was stemming from, but it was like all my hidden feelings were making a cameo.

After a few beats of uncomfortable silence, he spoke up nervously "Are you okay?". I scoffed lightly. "Even if I wasn't, I don't know how that worries you. As far as I'm concerned, you should keep avoiding me like the plague, yeah? Because losing someone, who for the record was also your friend, instantly makes me an outsider to the circle, doesn't it?" I really needed to stop my word vomit.

Travis and Annikah looked confused at everything, Bree was watching with curiosity. From the heat of Raf's gaze burning holes on the back of my head, I guessed he was pretty angry. He really didn't need to be.

Logan suddenly looked very awkward, his eyes suddenly finding the painting above Bree's head very interesting.

"I-I'm sorry?" it was more of a question, and it hurt me more than I cared to admit. He really didn't see anything wrong with how he had behaved.

"It's all in the past" I smiled at him, a little too artificially for my liking. "Yeah, sure" he rubbed his neck and beads of sweat were glistening near his hairline.

He had certainly grown taller than freshman year, but his hazel eyes were still the same along with his charcoal hair. I had never regretted making him my friend or even going on a date with him, but if I had known he would treat me so differently and alienate me, I would've never even talked to him in the first place. If that made me a bitch, so be it.

Everyone was literally watching us with curiosity, confusion and a particular guy beside me just seemed pissed.

He asked everyone for their orders, all the while ignoring me yet sneaking glances which I caught. I was getting more distressed by the minute.

"See you around Blaze" he softly said before he walked away. "I hope not" I muttered and by the way his spine stiffened, I guess he heard me.

It made me feel a bit better, getting things off my chest that had been stuck there for too long. There was also a tinge of guilt that I felt for acting a bit harsh.

"Didn't you guys used to be friends?" I snapped my head towards Travis whose eyebrows were furrowed. I was trying to convey through my grim face to tell him to shut up, because this was a topic that would lead to a string of questions.

"Yeah, we were" I emphasised curtly. The others were listening intently as if they had been served a steaming plate of gossip. "Same circle, right?" Travis further went on. "Yes" I grimaced. Travis didn't seem to be taking the hint.

"What went wrong?" this time it was Annikah who had spoke up. I was mildly offended that they weren't realising that I was uncomfortable with this. "Stuff. Everything" I muttered and I was glad no one asked me anything further.

We were blanketed by a tense silence, and I was squirming in my seat. "I need some fresh air" I excused myself. "Can I talk to you?" Rafael stood up with me.

"Right now?" I really didn't want to. "Yes" he answered with a short nod.

We ended up exiting the bistro, just walking around when Raf finally stopped. "I'm sorry about the fight" his eyes were overflowing with sincerity and remorse. "You don't have to be" I couldn't look him in the eye. I was feeling really bad now, he hadn't meant it and I had spun up an unjustified fear in my mind.

"No, I have to. I would never hurt you, Blaze. Never" I started to speak up but he silenced me. "I never meant to...lose control like that. You don't know what went through my mind when you backed away. You were scared. Of me. You still are" his voice was barely above a whisper and I could feel a pit in my stomach at his words.

"I'm not scared of you" I insisted with as much conviction as I could. "Don't lie. You think I don't notice how terrified you get around me? You recoil from physical contact and finally when we were getting somewhere, I had to just fuck it all up. Like always" he laughed bitterly, murmuring the last part under his breath.

I wanted to tell him that it was my fault for being so abnormal that I couldn't let anyone touch me. It wasn't his fault that every time someone came close, I would imagine them raising their hand and hurting me. But my mouth was dry and no words came out.

I settled for clearing my throat and rephrasing my words. "That isn't fear. It's just instinctive after seeing all that on Friday. I can't stand violence" I tried to say as gently as I could, some semblance of truth conveyed in my words.

"Did I hurt you?" he suddenly asked, his eyes zeroing in on where he had elbowed me, like he remembered it as clear as day. "No. Like I said, it was accidental and it wasn't like I couldn't handle it. Just like a little prick. Nothing more" By this point, I was rambling. Nope, not embarrassing at all.

"I never meant to. You have to understand that. It wasn't about whether it hurt or not, it's about the fact that I lashed out and you got caught up in the midst of it. I am really, really sorry" he was still torn up about it.

"Stop beating yourself up over it. I know it isn't your fault. I saw Aiden say something" I grimaced, wondering if I should ask him about it or not.

Raf tensed up at that and as if on instinct, his fists curled up and I could see that familiar cloud of temper cover his eyes. But, this time, it was over as soon as it happened.

"He did. He said some things about my family and my personal life that really pushed me over the edge. I-I've got... anger issues and it was like I couldn't control it" his voice was reluctant, as if he was testing out the waters to see how I would react.

"Then blame it on him. Just stop apologising, it's not your fault" At my words, Rafael suddenly smiled, which turned into a grin. "What's with the sudden change in mood?" I joked. "Just the fact that you took my side over your boyfriend's".

I found it funny that he never called Aiden by his name, just my boyfriend. It also highlighted how tricky of a situation I was in. Being with someone who was a stranger, yet everyone seemed to think we were still dating happily.

"I suck at apologies, I'm new to all this" Raf suddenly muttered. "To what?" He looked down at me with an intensity that was enough to make the pit in my stomach turn into a butterfly park.

"All this" He was motioning with his hands. "Friends. Apologies. All these...feelings" he just looked awkward now. "Yeah, me too" I smiled.

"Mr. Desperate Dickface inside begs to differ" I laughed at the name he had given Logan. "You guys used to be friends?" he asked and I felt myself close up again. But, I guess after my temper tantrum, any sane person would have questions.

"Yes, back in freshman year" Rafael looked at me softly, but I just turned my face away. I really wasn't fazed by the loss of my former friends. Okay, maybe a little. I had just wanted a little support.

"What went wrong?" His words were cautious and I guess I had to tell him some time or another. He was going to figure out about Kiara as Bree already knew, why not just find it out from me.

"When my best friend died, things just fell apart. Her boyfriend left town, Logan used to be one of my close friends and he sort of just sidelined me. But yeah, it's okay" I smiled, but really it wasn't.

Maybe I just couldn't accept the fact that the same people who should've stuck around and helped me get over the hushed whispers and pitiful looks, became the reason and cause for them.

I was surprised to see him not look shocked at all, it was like he had almost expected this.

"Did you know about this?" I asked a little too incredulously. Of course he had, everyone assumed they knew everything. He must've gotten to know from someone.

"N-I mean, yes" he confirmed. I wasn't angry, just a bit put off that no one really knew the real story. But on the other hand, I couldn't tell anyone.

"Oh" I really didn't know how to reply. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that" his solemn voice cutting through my awkwardness. "There's nothing you could have done" he nodded but continued to speak. "I could've been there when your friends ghosted you".

I started wondering about how different things could've been if I had gotten to know Raf and the others before. Of course, Raf and Bree would have been new and Ann wouldn't have even been here, but it was something that could've definitely led to a different course in my life.

"Yeah, but I guess it's nice that we're all friends now" I smiled brightly at him. His smile was strained.

"Well, let's feed this sucker" I grinned, pointing to my stomach. Wow, I took being cringey too a whole new level.

"Let me show you the way, princesa" he motioned with his hands and I beamed at him. The prospective of food sounded really good right now, especially without Aiden glaring and commenting on anything and everything.

Once we were back, our food wasn't there yet and I noticed we had been outside for only ten minutes.

The three of them were busy talking, but paused once we entered. "Everything good?" Bree asked me and I nodded at her.

We were talking for a few minutes, when Logan brought us our food. He looked awkward to be here and I felt a tinge of guilt for being a bitch earlier.

I smiled softly at him and murmured a thank you as he shot me a tentative smile. The others all thanked him and Raf reluctantly muttered a thank you under his breath. As soon as he left, the weird tension lingering in the air evaporated.

Random conversations filled up the silence as we ate. This was the most I had laughed in a long time and it felt great.

Currently, Travis and Rafael were arguing whether pineapple belonged on pizza or not.

"Pizza is no place for an abomination like pineapple" Raf was exasperated explaining his point to Travis, who was just as stubborn as him. "I'll have you know that pineapple is a king, that's why it has a crown. You probably can't afford such a regal fruit, that's why you're so bitter" Travis smirked at him.

"Grasping at straws to prove our point here?" Raf looked smug. I seriously couldn't with these two. I personally didn't mind whether it was on pizza or not.

By the time we were done with our food, we had already gone through about seven rounds of debate featuring Travis, Rafael and at some point, Bree. Annikah and I were the judges, using our spoons as gavels whenever things got too heated. We didn't want to be kicked out of here too.

We had split the bill and I was sure to avoid Logan on the way out. The car ride home was peaceful, unlike before. Annikah has shoved me in the middle and I was wedged between Raf and her.

"You know, I can actually sing opera really well too" Travis grinned. "No" everyone piped up all at once.

I was the first one to be dropped off, and I noticed it wasn't even late. Maybe about 8:30pm. I was glad that I hadn't spent this Sunday wallowing in my own problems, like every other weekend.

"See you on Monday" I said, but realised one of us wouldn't be there. "Except Rocky there on your left" Travis smirked. Everyone was looking at him blankly. "Too soon?" Raf rolled his eyes but smiled at Travis. They had a friendship that was weird, yet it was obvious they were best friends.

"Okay then, see you all soon" I snapped my fingers and pointed at them. Why was I acting so weird? Maybe because you haven't had any social contact like this for months.

I hear a chorus of goodbyes and saw a fleeting smile cross Rafael's features. It was dark, but I could make out the slight wave of his hand. I waved back and then turned to the front door. I heard them driving away just as I opened the front door.

I walked to the living room once I pulled my trainers off, to see both Aiden and Andrea watching something on the TV. Aiden was surrounded by pillows and his legs were outstretched on the sofa.

Andrea smiled at me as I approached them. Aiden looked up and blankly stared at me, which I ignored. "Did you have fun?" she asked and I nodded, still wary of Aiden.

"Who did you go with?" I looked over to see Aiden smirking evilly. "Friends" I tried my best not to glare at him, well versed with where this was going.

"Mum, did you ask the names of the other people?" I felt anger surge through me at his words. "Aiden, that really doesn't matter" Andrea chided him with a stern look. "I really think you should know" his voice quipped and I wanted nothing more than to strangle him.

Andrea warily shifted her gaze onto me, as if waiting for an answer. "Really, it doesn't matter, it was Bree and her brother and two other people" I muttered, venomously glaring at Aiden. He then grinned and added, "Mum, Bree's brother is Rafael".

Andrea stiffened at his words and by her expression, I knew she wasn't happy.

But I had suddenly made one decision. Aiden wasn't going to stop me from making friends. All he could do was try. I was going to get my life back.

It was a small step, but my first step at getting out of this toxic situation.

Hey Babes! So what are your thoughts on the chapter, this was definitely much lighter than other chapters and I'm sorry if it sucked. I'm such a dork at times.

I actually wasn't planning this chapter, but I felt like it was due for a long ass time. I guess I focused on showing another side to Blaze and everyone else. Thank you guys so much for 1.7K reads that means the world!

Okay but like, did anyone call Annikah being our lesbian queen? Ugh I love her and she needs to be protected at all costs along with our baby Blaze. I had planned it from day one and let me tell you, I had so much fun writing her and Bree's character.

I also finally made some aesthetics! Did you check them out, let me know if you liked them or not.

I literally haven't been to an arcade in ages, so I'm sorry if I got anything wrong lol. I was just imagining Timezone at this point, there was a time when I went with my friends when we were 15 and caused a lot of trouble eek.

I've been writing a bit more recently cause I'm going through some tough stuff and it's a coping mechanism. Don't worry though, I'm just gonna skrrt skrrt through my issues.

It's currently way the middle of the night over here and as usual I'm awake. We love lack of sleep and rocking those Gucci eye bags and vampire skin. Someone's gotta stay boujee.

Also, what's one thing you could eat for the rest of your life and never get tired of?

Be sure to hit the lil star below and let me know how your day was in the comments. Love you guys!

But do you wanna see where most of you are from? I'll show you the map. I love all of you silent readers too! HUGSSSSSSSS.

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