WARNING : SEXUAL ABUSE AHEAD
(If you don't want to read you can skip ahead I'll leave a line, your mental health is more important than anything else)

"And that was when the last ray of hope vanished. The day you mistook my understanding for weakness and used it against me. I couldn't put up a fight against the stranger you had become"

❃ B l a z e ❃

Aiden pulled me to the front door and slammed it once we were inside. I could hear the silence before the storm. He was going to burst out any second. I kept my eyes focused on the floor.

Suddenly I felt my hair being pulled and Aiden quite literally dragged me to the bedroom. My breathing grew faster as he threw me on the bed. No. No. No. My breaths were ragged and I felt like I was suffocating.

An animal I no longer recognised stood in front of me. My eyes widened at the sight of him. He was becoming everything he said he wouldn't. There was a broken boy hiding behind the rough exterior. His breathing was huffed and I clambered away from the bed but he wasn't letting me go.

Aiden climbed on top of me and pinned me to the bed. I realized what he was trying to do and screamed at the top of my lungs. He held my hands above my head tightly and slapped me. My eyes widened as he touched me roughly. I thrashed below him and tried to kick and punch him, which earned me a few punches. I wouldn't let him do this.

I continued trying to pry him off myself, puttting all my strengths into my kicks, but he was an athlete and he easily held me down.

He ripped open my shirt. "Aiden. NO" I screamed but he silenced me with a powerful punch. He ripped my bra leaving me bare chested in front of him. Tears streamed down my face. This was not how it was supposed to be.

I tried to kick him with my legs again, but he was straddling me, making it impossible to move. I continued to fight but he had me pinned down and I continued screaming. It felt like my entire body was on fire, my lungs crushed.

He jeered at me as his hands made his way across my body. A cry left my mouth but he had already stopped listening to me long ago. He bit down on my neck and gave me a sloppy kiss. I tried to push him away once again, but to no avail. My fight had no effect on him, and as minutes passed I grew hopeless. Rape was too far. I couldn't handle it.

All of my efforts to stop him were in vain.

He made his way down to my jeans. Swiftly he opened the buttons and pulled them down while I tried to stop him. I tried to kick him again and even attempted to grab his wrists by freeing one of my hands. Fighting back was a stupid move as he slapped me again and again. I cried but there was no one to listen. I was left bare chested in my panties before him.

He ripped my panties and took off his jeans, all while holding me down to the bed. I tried to take advantage of the situation my kicking him in the shins but he retaliated with a punch in my stomach. There was a feral look in his eyes.

I feared what was about to happen. This was going to change everything. He had never gone this far. I pressed my legs together, trying to prevent what was about to happen.

Tears fell down my face as I looked down. The sight repulsed me and I moved back until I hit the headboard. Pain shot throughout my head, making me momentarily give up fighting.

"You Slut" he whispered in my ears as he thrust inside me for the first time. White hot pain flashed in front of my eyes and I cried out it pain. "STOP. No!" I kept on crying but I was silenced again and again. He thrust inside me again and again. There was no pleasure, just pain. My sobs turned into wails but there was no one around to hear them. The world was oblivious to this atrocity.

It hurt so much. He tried to kiss me but I turned away. There was nothing I could do. The helplessness seeped into my bones, and I felt like I was looking on instead of feeling, the pain mingling with numbness. He eventually got up and I felt paralysed as I watched him leave with indifference.

And even thought it had ended, it replayed in my mind again and again, brandished into my skull. I knew it was something that would haunt me for a lifetime.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

He left me alone in the bedroom, naked and crying. My innocence lost. I willed myself to get up and get dressed. My body aches as I took each step towards the bathroom. As I looked to the bedsheet, I found some blood indicating the horrific events that happened. Tears streamed down my face as I walked into the bathroom.

I took a glance at myself at the mirror and saw a weak pathetic girl incapable of fighting for herself. No amount of reassurance was enough to make me feel good enough. My body was red from the torture. Bruises of assorted colours were littered along my skin, some quite recent, some days old. My thighs and arms had scars. My eyes were lifeless and blank.

I stepped into the shower hoping to wash off all the sins committed, but the images replayed in my mind like a movie. I sobbed whilst in the shower, shuddering each time I remembered him inside me. I was raped. The initial shock wore off and a thunderous pain racked through me as my brain finally comprehended the assault I had faced.

That realisation made me crumble down to the floor, all my inhibitions lost.

My sobs once again transformed into wails and I lay on the floor, trying to convince myself it was a dream. If only it was. I cried and cried, desperately trying to calm myself down. Trying to convince myself it was a nightmare.

I gathered the strength to get up but the pain hadn't yet subsided.

As I stepped out of the shower, I saw new bruises forming where he had forcefully held me. What if Kiara had never died? Would things have been different? Would I be happier? Would me and Aiden still be dating as a happy couple?

I played these questions inside my head as I got dressed with shaky hands and stepped outside. Aiden was nowhere to be seen. This was a common occurrence. He left me alone, sometimes at days for a stretch, usually staying at a friend's house or at least that was his excuse.

I couldn't control the sobs heaving out out my mouth. You're pathetic, stop crying. My inner voice justified and I slumped down once again.

My entire body felt tired and I could barely keep my eyes awake from all the crying. I pulled the covers off, wanting no reminder of what happened. I lied down on the same bed, feeling useless.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep, gruesome images filling my head like a horror movie. Only this time, it was very real. Maybe I would still have a reason to live. It was like the light at the end of the tunnel had extinguished that night.

As I lost myself to sleep, the last thought I had was of the green-eyed boy who suddenly entered my life. Never before did we know each other, but why did it seem like he could read me like an open book?

Hey babes, I'm sorry for the sudden dark chapter, but I wanted to acknowledge such a horrible problem in our society. It is really intense and heartbreaking to hear about rape, and quite honestly, I shed quite a lot of tears while writing that. It isn't something that can just be pushed under the rug, but that's what happens a lot of the time.

Rape is something that can scar a person for life and despite people opening up about their stories, many go unnoticed. If you are going through a difficult time or suffering from anything that affects you and your well-being , please feel free to share with the ones around you or seek professional help.

On a lighter note, Vote Comment and Share. I felt like this book wasn't getting much recognition, but I know it will take time. Hope those of you who got up till here will stick around.

Love
A❤️