"How am I supposed to breathe and believe it'll all be okay, when my heart is barely beating and my lungs are collapsing by the weight on my shoulders?"

❃ B l a z e ❃

Rafael didn't return for the rest of the class and I didn't see him in the hallway either. My anxiety was sky rocketing and my hands were itching to pick up the blade, to take out my frustrations on myself, but I refrained from doing so.

The guilt was eating away at me but I convinced myself that I was doing this to stop Aiden and his friends from hurting Raf and Travis.

I wondered why Alec and Aiden were so hell bent on teaching Raf and Travis a lesson. I figured maybe it was because the latter wasn't scared of the former and that was a major blow to Aiden's and Alec's egos. The fragile male ego.

In Mathematics, I had Annikah with me and I figured Aiden's threat didn't extend to her and Bree. But, I would have to limit my conversations with Bree as her and Raf were kind of a package deal. All this planing and plotting had my brain fried and fatigue swept over me. I could barely stay upright and Annikah tried to keep me awake with cheesy jokes and the occasional question.

I learned that she was an only child and her dad used to be a hotshot at some executive company, her words not mine. The company apparently had some scandal and they had to move here to Glensdale because her mum wanted to get away from the city life. We were by no means small, but Glensdale wasn't a huge city. I could tell she missed her life there, from the way she spoke about her friends to the general ambience.

We talked about random things and I told her about my parents when she asked. I just mentioned that they had been in a car crash, but nothing about how I blamed myself for it. I wasn't going to tell her about Kiara either, because Raf and Bree probably didn't even know about her. I guess Travis either forgot or didn't know. I was very wary of letting my guard down.

I wasn't going to be defined by the number of people I had lost in my life. I had lost enough to know that no one could share my pain, that the grief was mine only to bear. Eventually, you learn to deal with it.

When Annikah found out about my parents, she didn't give me a sympathetic smile or a pitiful look. She flashed me an understanding nod, and I was grateful for that. We talked whenever the Math Teacher wasn't looking, and I was glad I had something to focus on besides the ruin of my life.

After Math, I dreaded going to Chemistry. I didn't know if Rafael was even going to be there or not, but the guilt of acting like a bitch was eating away at me. Why the hell did Aiden have to threaten him? I actually felt happy but he just had to risk Raf getting hurt. It couldn't get any worse than this.

Flashes of Aiden tearing off my clothes and his hands violating my space flooded my mind and I felt light headed. I stumbled and held on to a wall, trying to calm my breathing. It was a never ending nightmare. The constant taunts, punches, and his sharp insults never failed to slice me to my core. To tear everything down.

Once again, I didn't see Raf in the hallways and I let out a sigh of relief, believing he wasn't going to be in Chemistry. I was also worried if he was okay or not. He seemed really riled up and I couldn't shake the feeling of worry that he had something stupid. Not everyone is like you, the voice inside me justified.

I realised I had jinxed myself when I walked into Chemistry and saw Rafael. But what I didn't expect was the aloofness on his features.

Not only was he drawing the attention of everyone around him by grinning like a maniac, he was wailing his arms around when I entered the class. What the fuck? I couldn't help but swear under my breath.

I saw Mrs. Reynolds quirk an eyebrow and suppress a smile at his antics. She wasn't the kind of teacher to go all Terminator on the students who didn't uphold the school policies. But I wasn't so sure she realized what was wrong with him. I, on the other hand, had a good idea about what was going on.

I stomped my way over to him, my previous worry and guilt evaporating. I could barely control my anger. You're one to get angry. You haven't been quite a saint, have you?

He was sitting on his seat, and I was standing but I barely looked intimidating in front of his muscular frame. That wasn't going to be stop me.

"Are you fucking high?" I hissed at him, avoiding the curious stares of everyone around me. I was never the one to burst out, but I wasn't so sure about that right now. Aiden had come home a few times like this, and it was never pretty for me. I knew for a fact that Rafael wasn't sober.

He chuckled, his deep voice was so free of it's usual restraint. It was surprising to see him like this. "Why are you levitating off the ground, Sweetheart?" He gasped. "Are you Criss Angel?" his glazed eyes were zeroed in on my feet in awe. Okay, Hold up. What the hell had he taken?

I rolled my eyes and pinched his arm, trying to snap him out of his daze, but even I knew that wasn't going to work. "You have got to be fucking kidding me" I muttered, keeping an eye on Mrs. Reynolds. She was waiting for the rest of the students to show up as she conversed with a girl at her desk.

She was a lenient teacher, but I wasn't sure she'd be pleased to see a student as high as a kite.

I needed to get Rafael out of here. He was out of his goddamn wits. He would be suspended if he got caught. And as stupid and childish as it sounded, a part of me wanted to believe that maybe I had pissed him off, and I was scared that he might just figure out that I wasn't worth his time.

He will figure it out, sooner or later.

"You swear?" He gave me an incredulous look and then smirked. I grimaced and grabbed his upper arm in an attempt to get him to stand. We could fake him being sick.

I failed miserably. All I could feel when I gripped him were the planes of his taut muscles, rippling beneath my touch.

He didn't budge a bit, he was busy glancing around the room in a daze. He looked like he was in Narnia with the way his gaze was bouncing around excitedly.

"Come on Raf, get up" I muttered. Everyone had returned to their own work, talking amongst themselves. My sole focus was to get him out of here. "No. I lurvvv Chemistry. Did you know that Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have great Chemistry? Bree told me that" he began blubbering and I stifled a laugh.

"Say you wouldn't happen to know her? She's ye high" he said holding his hand up to his stomach, while imitating a horrible British accent. She wasn't that short. I nodded my head absentmindedly. I kept trying to pull him up, but he was like a bloody boulder.

"Don't be a pain in the ass" I muttered to him but he was humming a tune to himself, oblivious of my draining struggle. "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout.." he was mumbling, his entire mood was giddy.

I sighed, giving up and plopping down next to him. I'll just convince him after a few minutes.

Mrs. Reynolds then stood up from her desk, motioning for everyone to calm down. "I'll begin in a few minutes" she announced, still conversing with the student. Fuck. Rafael was still grinning manically as if he'd seen the Easter Bunny. I whispered to him, "Raf, just keep your head low and don't say a word".

He slowly turned towards me. He grinned and flashed me a thumbs up, while bobbing his head up and down. This was the most I'd seen him smile. "This is exactly what you're not supposed to do" I said and he just furrowed his eyebrows. I groaned and asked him for his phone. I'd have to text someone for help and hopefully not get caught in the process.

He handed me his phone, more like threw it at me, even though we were less than a feet apart. I caught it, careful not to drop it.

I was surprised to see it didn't have a passcode. I thought about texting Bree, but decided against it. She would probably burst out and worsen the situation. Plus, I don't think she'd be delighted to know her brother was taking drugs on school campus.

I decided on texting Travis. I searched through Rafael's contacts, seeing no one by his name. Then a specific contact caught my name.

I muffled my laughter, when I saw the contact name. I was sure Travis had entered it.

Me
Hey Blaze here. Rafael's high, need help. Meet me in the parking lot as soon as you can.

I got an instant reply and I wondered how he replied so fast, seeing as cellphones weren't allowed during class.

Kylie's baby daddy
Be there in 10. Don't tell Bree.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Why wouldn't he want me to tell Bree? I decided to ignore it, and focus on the stoned muppet beside me.

"Get up, right now" I whispered to him and he looked at me with his bloodshot eyes. Somehow, the green of his eyes were more prominent, he looked beautiful. Focus, Blaze. Drool later.

As if a miracle had been bestowed upon me, he nodded and started to get up but stumbled over his own feet. "What the fuck! We're having an earthquake" his voice started out low, but then he began to almost yell. I covered his mouth with my hand. At least I tried to. He was way too tall for me to reach, so I ended up with my hand on his chin, pulling his face down to my level.

Mrs. Reynolds started to make her way over, as if sensing trouble. I was surprised she hadn't heard the caveman screaming bloody murder, beside me.

I cursed once again, and looked into Raf's eyes. For the first time, I noticed gold flecks around his irises, the same colour as the natural highlights that were splayed across his brown hair. Not the time or the place.

"Just hold my hand and don't say a word. I swear to god if you utter a single word, I'll.." I was cut off by the clicking of heels against the floor. Rafael looked amused and was still grinning. Didn't his face hurt from all this smiling?

"What's going on here?" She asked us, eyeing our intertwined hands but not mentioning it. Now, that was one of the reasons I adored her as a teacher. She didn't pry. Take Notes, Mrs. Lively.

"Rafael's sick. He's feeling dizzy" I told her as she looked at him. He didn't make eye contact with her, thank God. As if on cue, he started wobbling on his feet. I grabbed both of our backpacks, and slung it over my shoulder. Surprisingly, Raf's backpack was quite light.

"I better get him to the nurse" I quickly said and her face was marked with concern. I felt bad for lying but I also found it sort of funny how naive she was. She looked like she wanted to say something, but I pushed past her and dragged Raf with me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed people giving us curious looks, some of amusement and a few jealous stares from the girls.

Just when I reached the door, I heard Mrs. Reynolds call us. I stiffened at the thought of her calling out our bluff. Well more like my bluff. "Take this note with you, even though it's the last class of the day" she said and I sighed in relief.

I turned around, leaving Raf standing at the door and grabbed the note. I shot her a grateful smile and raced out of the class, latching onto Rafael's hand on the way.

I pulled him with me, speed-walking through the hallways. I didn't want anyone to notice us and the sooner I got him to his car, the better.

Raf wasn't much help, he was dragging his feet and slouching. He seemed in no hurry to get out of here. In fact, he was seeming to have the time of his life, seeing me struggle pulling his mammoth sized body.

"Come on Raf. Help me out here, will you?" I groaned in frustration. "SNAKE" he yelped and pointed to a random shoelace lying on the floor. How did that even get there?

I pinched his arm and mentally face-palmed. "Dude, chill it" I groaned. It just keeps on getting better, doesn't it?

"Ow! What was that for?" he whined. I frowned at him and just kept on pulling him with me. He was content with being lugged around like deadweight, but I wasn't. We reached the school doors and I scanned the parking lot for his car.

We rushed towards it, and I wondered what it would look like from a third point of view. A girl dragging a zombie guy, with two backpacks on her shoulder, huffing like the big, bad wolf. Yeah, not good.

Once we reached his car, I slumped down on the ground with my back leaning against the door and Rafael did the same. I was surprised that no one had called us out. It was then that the pain returned, stronger than ever.

My entire body was screaming in agony and I felt tears prick my eyes. It was as if I had totally forgotten all about my injuries and had a sudden rush of adrenaline when I pulled Raf out of school. I could feel my torso throbbing from Aiden's punch and my legs felt numb.

Rafael's eyes were closed and his head was tilted upto the sky, with a small smile on his face. He seemed calm all of a sudden. It was one of the rare moments, where his face was devoid of all emotional barriers.

He looked adorable. Shut it, we've got boyfriend of the year in our corner, eh?

"I can tell you're hiding a lot, you know. There's something about you.." he trailed off, more like he was talking to himself.

I stiffened, realising I didn't know how to answer that. "Takes one to know one" I said and he smiled. "Touché".

One question was nagging my mind, and deep down I knew the answer. Had I compelled him to get high? That too, on school grounds? Just this morning, I had woken up in his house with him next to me, and suddenly I was acting like a class-A bitch. Enter Regina George.

I had been rude and I wasn't afraid to accept it. The very first time he had talked to me, I knew I was bringing him into whatever I was going through, but I still couldn't let go. Why was I so intrigued by a guy I gotten to know just this week?

My thoughts were interrupted by a movement beside me. Rafael was staring at me, more specifically at the single tear that had managed to roll down my cheek. Traitor.

"Did I hurt you?" his voice was filled with concern, and if it wasn't for the previous events, I would've believed he was sober. His knees slightly brushed mine when he shifted a little closer and his hands were still entangled in mine.

"No, you didn't" I smiled, discreetly wiping away the tear and taking a deep breath. I took advantage of his state and deflected.

"What were you thinking?" I asked, my anger barely contained. I didn't even have the right to be angry. I knew it was my fault he had stormed off in the first place. But my anger stemmed from something deeper that I couldn't quite comprehend. Concern? I didn't have the right to feel it, but I still did.

He shrugged his shoulders. I fixed him with a stare and he grinned. I was getting nowhere with him.

"Okay. Well for starters, you stormed out of History and cussed at the teacher. And then, you come back to Chemistry, stoned and acting like a pre-pubescent teenage girl" I grimaced.

He giggled. "When you put it like that..." and then he began laughing. "You see that" he pointed to a crack in the concrete. I nodded.

"That could be a portal to another dimension. Or it could be just a crack. Depends on how you look at it" he stated, his face impassive.

I shook my head in bewilderment. Where were all these thoughts coming from? It was like one minute he was in Glensdale and the next he was on Planet Vulcan.

"Maybe I just stated the facts for Mr. Duncan back there. He can be a dickhead" he grinned and I did too. "Sober is normal for you. My sense of normalcy lies in being high. We all have different definitions for our sanity" he said cryptically. I had a feeling he wasn't going to talk anymore, even though there was definitely something deeper in his words.

He still hadn't let go of my hand and I hadn't either. We were sitting side by side and every so often his knee would bump against mine. There were still thirty minutes till school let out and I was glad we were hidden by the other cars. It was like we were in our own little bubble.

The silence between us stretched on and my thoughts were on overdrive. What did Rafael mean? He wasn't into only weed, was he? Was he into hard drugs? That's not your place to find out.

I sensed someone nearing us and instinctively my spine stiffened. I looked up to see Travis, eyeing the both of us and zeroing in on our hands with a glint in his eye.

Dammit. I let go of Raf's hand and sighed at the loss of contact. You have a boyfriend. I repeated it like a mantra inside my head.

Travis offered me his hand and helped me stand up. My abdomen was crying in pain, but I ignored it, once again. Even through the pain, the numbness returned. Travis tried to get Rafael up but he was refusing to stand.

"Is this the first time?" I cautiously asked Travis and he froze at my question. He slowly shook his head, as if gathering his thoughts and I could see concern and a hint of disappointment etched on his face.

"Do you want Bree to find you like this?" Travis shot at Rafael, while running his hands through his short hair in frustration. Rafael instantly shot up at that, but ending up tripping over. I reached out to steady him, even though it was practically of no use. Hey, at least we're breaking stereotypes.

"Not her. Aubree cannot find out" Rafael said sternly. Wait, what? Bree wasn't her actual name? Rafael noticed the perplexed look on my face and commented. "She hates that name. Don't ever call her that in her presence unless you would like to be sacrificed to the devil with your organs hanging around as a necklace" he seriously said and then started laughing out loud.

"She wouldn't actually do that, she just gets pissed. But come to think of it, teeth would make good earrings wouldn't they? Oh, oh, oh and then we could use.." he was cut off by Travis' hand on his mouth.

Travis and I groaned and he quite literally stole the keys from Rafael and pushed him into the passenger seat. I laughed and Travis shut the door behind him. He made his way over to the drivers side and leaned against the door. I handed him Rafael's backpack.

"He never gets like this in school. Never this high" Travis muttered more to himself, as if deep in thought. "This happens often?" I asked him, careful not to push him too much. I was definitely overstepping my boundaries. But I justified it to myself as just being concerned like a decent human being. Yeah, sure.

Travis looked wary of telling me. "Yeah, outside of school." he whispered while glancing back at Rafael slumped in the front seat. I realised that maybe I should stop asking so much and backed off. First good choice you made today.

"What about your car?" I asked Travis. "I caught a ride today" he replied.

Rafael had his face squished against the glass, leaning across the center console, eyeing us both while pouting. "I'll be back to pick up Bree" he said and I instantly shook my head. I could tell Aiden to drop her home.

"I don't think Aiden would mind" I told him and he looked at me warily. "I mean, no offence to you, but I don't think Bree would like that" Travis said while awkwardly shifting his gaze from mine. "Oh" was all I could manage before Travis interrupted me.

"More importantly, she'll be wondering what happened to Eeyore, over here" he motioned towards Rafael, who was looking at us like the parents who wouldn't get him his favourite lolly. "I'll handle it. Don't worry about it. Besides, it'll be worth it to see Raf's face when he realises that I drove his car" he smirked.

"Are you sure?" I asked him and he nodded. "I'll just wait it out here until school lets out. You better get going. How do you plan to get him back to his senses?" I questioned. "I think a nap will work. I'll just take Bree out for maybe a bite after school, to give him some time to cool off" I could swear I saw a hint of colour seeping on his face.

"Is that so?" I wiggled my eyebrows and he blushed, playfully glaring at me.

I wasn't sure if this plan was going to work out or not. I sensed there was something more as to why Rafael wanted to keep this from Bree. I kept silent nonetheless.

"Okay, I'll wait for school to let out. Text me once he's home safe" I told him and he nodded. He got into the car, pushing Rafael into his place, but then rolled down the window.

"I don't have your number" he grinned. I rolled my eyes and went to speak, but was interrupted. "Why the fuck do you need her number?" Rafael grumbled. Don't need no butterflies, cause you give me the whole damn zoo. I hated how random my thoughts could become.

Travis cheekily smiled "Maybe to ask her for dinner?" he teased Rafael and Raf glared at him, before punching him in the shoulder. "Hey, hey, hey. I'm just joking. Knock it off." Travis held his hands up in a placating gesture.

I took Travis' phone, ignoring the looks Rafael was shooting me and Travis. I handed him back his phone after entering my name. I waved and Travis grinned while Rafael just watched the two of us with thundering eyes. Okay, then.

I watched as they drove off and checked the time. Ten minutes to go. I ducked behind a car and sat there, scrolling aimlessly on my phone. I made a mental checklist and I decided to go job hunting today.

I could avoid Aiden that way and finally find a place to escape and earn money that way. I had thought about applying in the Summer, but Aiden's mum hadn't let me. She said if I wanted something, all I had to do was ask.

I had three places I was thinking about applying to. The Diner, the Pizza Place or the Café. Any of the three would work. Fuck. I also had to go to Rafael's place tomorrow for the project. I could cancel, couldn't I? But we were partners for the rest of the year, we would have to get it over with some time. Just go and stick to the project.

I absentmindedly nodded to my own thoughts. Yeah, I could do that. He probably wouldn't even remember what happened today, all I had to do was strictly stick to homework.

Aiden hadn't mentioned anything about not going over for the project, he would just have to deal with it. I could safely say our plans for the weekend were already cancelled, guessing by how I planned to avoid him and Bree, probably limit my conversations with everyone.

Even if it didn't seem like it, Aiden could pull some serious if he wished. That was the one thing I wanted to keep my friends away from.

Friends. It was weird in how such a short span of time, I'd made people who I could call my friends. It was a new step for me, after everything that had happened.

I heard the shrill sound of the bell ringing after what felt like eternity and made my way over to Aiden's car.

I waited for him to arrive, leaning against the hood of his car. I saw him come out a few minutes later, with his arm slung over Summer's shoulder. I clenched my jaw, anger flaring up inside me.

I wasn't going to let it die down this time, screw the consequences. I could handle them. If he expected me to stay away from Rafael, he would stay away from Summer. The fucking hypocrite.

I marched my way over to them, and watched as Summer regarded me with cool eyes and Aiden glared at me with the same fury he always did. I pushed back any second thoughts.

"You two should get a room while you're at it. Should I hand you my credit card?" I snarked, my anger bubbling beneath the surface. "No need to get so hot-headed, Blaine, is it?" Summer smugly smiled.

"Blaze. Cut it off" Aiden gritted out, dropping his arm from Summer's shoulders. "Sorry your name isn't important enough to remember" she piped up, while Aiden grabbed my upper arm.

"Neither is your face. Should I redecorate it for you? Maybe knock out a few teeth while I'm at it?" was what I wanted to say. Normally, I was against girls bringing other girls down, but Summer was intentionally making me lose my cool.

I calmly replied nonetheless. "I want this" I pointed between the both of them "to stop". I then turned to Summer. "Oh, and you see I would get you a breath mint for that nasty personality, but sadly I'm out of this weeks supply. Come back next week, eh?" That wiped the smirk off her face, but I still needed better insults.

Aiden's face was fogged with unmasked anger, waiting to be unleashed. He let go of my arm and clenched his fists at his sides.

"You don't decide who I'm friends with" Aiden sneered. "Props to you for being the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen." I clapped my hands sarcastically while glaring daggers at the both of them.

Amusement danced in Summer's eyes as she looked between the both of us. "We're just friends. You have nothing to worry about" she smirked.

Quite a few students were shamelessly eavesdropping while some gave us a once-over, amused by the new gossip they could pass around.

"Sorry, did I not make my myself clear earlier? I wasn't asking, I'm telling you both to drop the innocent act or is it all too much for your non-existent brain to understand at one-go?" I said, trying to act nonchalant, while my heart was beating so rapidly I wondered if they could hear it. I didn't know what had gotten into me, I was stirring up stupid drama.

"Shut up, B" Aiden said, trying to make it sound like he was persuading me. "Why don't you shut up for once, I'm tired of hearing you whine all the time, like a fucking broken violin. You're really starting to get on my nerves" I snapped, ignoring the voice of reason in my head, telling me to keep my mouth closed.

This was the part of me that I wanted to keep from resurfacing, to avoid all the nasty bruises and battered bones. It didn't seem like I could keep it in control today.

That's when I saw Aiden's wrath tip over the surface. He grabbed my hand and pulled me roughly towards the car. I tried to stand my ground, but he was too strong, his free hand shaking from anger.

"You don't want to do anything stupid. We're on school grounds, baby" I mocked him whispering near his ear, the taunt in my voice evident. He loosened his grip to make it seem like he was urging me towards the car and not pulling.

I didn't know where all this defiance was coming from, but it felt good while it lasted. The bruises I were yet to receive would push me straight back into my shell. At least I could say I had won this round.

Once we were seated in the car, he raced off without even waiting for me to wear my seatbelt. My breathing had since quickened as I realised how bad I'd messed up. Strangely, I felt no regret.

He pulled over once were away from school. Before I could defend myself, I felt his fist connect with my cheek.

"I have had it with you acting like a whore. You do what I tell you to do" his voice was a low octave, adding to my own terror. "You think you're so smart, making a fucking scene in front of everyone. You're in for a treat today." his threat chilled me to the bone.

"This is the last straw, baby." he grinned manically while my chest rose and fell. No, no, no, no. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the fuck were you thinking?

I wouldn't let that happen again. I just wouldn't. He started driving again, his speed picking up. I looked over and saw we were well over the speed limit but he couldn't care less. Trees and houses raced past us, and I closed my eyes, too scared to say a word. I was biting my lip, drawing blood, but all I could feel was the fear pumping through my body.

What Aiden had said wasn't a threat, it was a promise.

Just as I thought we were going to positively die, Aiden swerved into the driveway of the house. The looming structure seemed liked a prison to me, more than a home.

I stepped out, focused on finding a way out or a weapon. I raced down the driveway, only for Aiden to pull me back into his chest. I panicked, elbowing him in the ribs. It got me enough time to pick up a rock. Great weapon, Blaze. You could probably kill a dragon with that thing.

Aiden advanced towards me and just as I was about to throw the rock at his face or down there, the front door opened.

My mouth gaped open just as I heard Aiden's voice nervously speak from beside me, closer than before.

"Mum? Dad?"

Hey Babes! How is everyone doing? Surprisingly, I haven't got much to say. At least you won't get a long ass author's note then lmao.

Long chapter I know I know! It is sort of a filler, but it isn't too if you get what I mean, yeah? Okay I'll shut up. I had really fun writing this chapter actually. I am so sorry in advance if my humour sucks. I TRIEDDDDDD OKAY.

I am literally so tired right now, not that I'm not any other day, just more today lol. Plus, we're almost at 900 reads and thank you for 500 comments!

I kinda revamped the book a little, added banners, a summary, all the cute shit. I tried, though it might be way worse than the amazing stuff other authors have on here. Give me some credit lmao I made SOME effort. I still have to add a playlist and the aesthetics, probably by the next few chapters, I definitely will. Thoughts on the news cover?

Definitely go check all that out and let me know if it's worse or better than I think lmao.

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