"I'm drowning in this sea of despair, desperately searching for a beacon of light throughout the eminent darkness"

❃ B l a z e ❃

Dab. Blend. Dab. Blend.

The bruises from Aiden's hits were marked all over my face. This has been going on since the day Kiara, my best friend, committed suicide. That night still played in my mind everyday like a nightmare and each time I kept it all to myself, because some secrets were best never revealed. With her death, came a whole new set of problems. Issues that were far more troublesome.

Aiden grew hostile and pushed everyone away, me included. I tried my best to put my grief aside and help him, but to no avail. Slowly he opened up again, but he was different. His voice was cold and devoid of any emotions since his sister's death. I would try every day to get him to talk, but he pushed me further away. All his pent up anger was released the day he first hit me. I still remembered it, clear as day. He was on the Rugby team and they had lost their first game. I thought maybe I could cheer him up and I hugged him tight when he came home. However, he had something else in mind.

"You were her best friend. You are the reason she died. You're worthless. If you were there for her, maybe she would've still been alive". Those were his words before he punched me hard in the stomach for the first time. His words shattered my soul and caused a deep gash within my broken heart. I protested at first and screamed trying to find the Aiden I had known but his eyes were devoid of any emotions. Tears streamed down my face as I accepted his beating. Maybe he was right. I did deserve all this. I learnt to accept that I had not been the best friend that Kiara deserved. If I had been, maybe she would've still been here.

"You have to be strong today". I though to myself as I finished applying makeup to hide the wounds. On the outside, everyone assumed we were a happy couple. Little did they know the whole story. He always showed me off as his trophy girlfriend but when I needed him he was away, not bothering to even give me an explanation as to where he was. The distance between us could cover oceans, and I couldn't find a way to swim through the currents.

I put on a long white-sleeved top and some jeans and I was ready to go. I ran down the stairs and realized we had to go. There was no time for breakfast. Aiden was waiting outside and I didn't want to anger him again by being late. That was the last thing I wanted today.

We had been living together a few months after we had started dating a year and a half back. His parents were almost never home. Before that I lived in my aunt's house since my parents death. They had died when I was nine, leaving me with Aunt Mary. She was more than happy to get rid of me when Aiden and I decided to move in together. Kiara was over the moon when we started dating. Everything was smooth sailing until it all crashed down. Things had really changed over the last year and a half. The memories I had were long gone.

"Get in" Aiden growled the second I reached the driveway. My hands trembled as I opened the door and sat down. He gave me a cold look and we were off for school. He made no attempt at small talk during the entire ride and I kept on staring outside the window.

We parked in our usual spot. Once we were out of the car, he said, "Remember the rules Blaze, or there will be consequences". I feebly nodded. After he started hitting me, he had made some rules for me. I knew better than to protest. When I had, all I had received were fists and bruises. His rules were misogynistic but I accepted them after being on the receiving end of way too many injuries.

No looking or talking to guys. No going anywhere without his permission. No flirting at any cost and most importantly, no telling anyone about what happened behind the closed doors of our home. He treated me like I was his property, but I had no fight left in me to retaliate. I was drained.

He harshly grabbed me by the waist and we walked into school together. Showtime.

I plastered a fake smile on my face and leaned into Aiden's touch as he pulled me closer to him. I was his territory. He had told me that multiple times, and I had never had the courage to argue back. It was useless, always resulting in me having scars and him having his way. The toxicity was eating me alive, but I had no way out. I had nowhere left to go.

I had no friends of my own left, because Kiara was always there for me. The ones I had were people I would rather not talk about. Aiden had me cut off my relations with every other person I could possibly call my friend as he felt I didn't deserve another friendship. The way he said it led me to believe that it was true. I was well aware of all of his words, but I learnt to accept whatever came out of his mouth. I hated how submissive I had become.

As I walked down the hallway, my eyes remained glued on the floor until I felt a strong presence near, causing me to lift my eyes. A gorgeous boy with sage green eyes and a inquisitive look on his face. His brown hair was unkempt and messy on top of his head. Rafael Hernandez. He was an enigma in himself. Rumours surrounded him and sometimes I heard more than enough to know he was someone to be avoided. I wasn't one to judge by rumours, but it was clear that he was to be steered away from ever since he came here a year ago. Even his name was enough to make you believe that he was trouble. A few tattoos littered his arms here and there. Danger lurked in his eyes and his stance was enough to scare anyone off. We had never encountered each other but I had seen him around school a few times. He looked my way and I felt like an insect under his scrutinizing gaze. He looked at me as if he could see through my entire facade. His entire demeanor radiated power and strength. I stared at him, wondering what was going on in his mind. You're getting ahead of yourself, there is no way he noticed you.

Aiden sensed me tensing up and looked down at me and then at Rafael's face. There was a flash of anger in his eyes and his jaw ticked as he grabbed me by the wrist painfully, and dragged me to my locker. "Rafael Hernandez has caught your eye. You have a boyfriend now, don't you? You broke the rules, you'll have to face the consequences, honey" he mocked in a sickly sweet voice. And with that he walked away. There was no point running after him. He had made up his mind.

I trembled while opening my locker door. Aiden's threat had scared me half to death. There were pictures stuck on the locker door. Me and Kiara when we were 14, back in Freshman year. Tears brimmed my eyes but I quickly caught myself. Today's day was too much for me to handle. I just had to make it through, that was my sole purpose.

Taking a deep breath and calming myself down, I got my books out. I shut my locker to come face to face with Rafael. I jumped back, startled by his sudden appearance. Maybe he knew about today and Kiara? But he couldn't. I was just being paranoid and over dramatic. He wasn't even here during the summer after Freshman year. The most dreaded summer of my life. No one knew that Kiara had committed suicide. Everyone in this school and elsewhere thought that she had died in a horrific road accident. Except those who were there that night and her family.

Rafael just stood there in all his green-eyed glory. He glared at me and that's when I realized I had dropped my housekeys in the hallways. He returned them and gave me a last look over his shoulder. I pulled my sleeves down and hid my face to make sure he saw nothing. I was on edge today, more so than other days. His presence was unnerving, to say the least.

The way he glanced at me made me feel shaken to my core. He probably didn't even know my name and was just messing around with me. Why was I spending my time thinking about him?

I couldn't trust anyone and I had realized that a long time ago. And Rafael Hernandez was no such exception.

So you got an insight into Blaze's life. What are your initials thoughts on the book. I'd love to know! I promise the book gets better, just stay with me.

For all of you wondering about the quotes, they're all originals I wrote them by myself. They might suck, I try my best haha.

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