"I just want to run away. From all this pain and sadness. From all this anger and destruction, but I'm shackled to the ground, caught in my own nightmare"

❃ B l a z e ❃

As soon as we reached school, I practically sprinted to get away from Aiden. I didn't stick around to find if he was following me or still hanging around in the parking lot.

When I reached my locker, I was surprised to see that none of my new found friends were around. Friends. It was strange to use that term after so long, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy. Guess that would be changing from today.

I got what I needed and just stood there awkwardly, contemplating what to do. Just as I had decided to go to the bathroom, I heard a familiar sweet voice. "Morning" Annikah piped up from behind me, with Bree in tow.

I could practically feel the radiance resonating from Annikah whereas Bree looked like she could pluck out teeth from the Tooth Fairy herself, judging by the seething look on her face.

She nodded in acknowledgment at me groggily, and in that moment I could relate to her. I saw the tiredness glimmering in her chocolate brown eyes, the exhaustion rolling off her in waves and if I wondered if I looked the same. She still looked good, although I was sure I looked like the satanic, uglier version of Billie Eilish.

"Are you okay?" I asked her and cursed myself for asking the stupidest question known to the teenage population.

"Thriving better than a daffodil in fucking spring" she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"She's been snappy since the morning. I asked if she ate breakfast, had 8 hours of sleep, was hydrated and then asked if Bloody Mary was on a visit" Annikah rambled as she held four fingers up. She paused, as if for effect. "No to all the above questions" Annikah flailed her arms and I was surprised to see her so outgoing. It seemed like her and Bree were getting along great.

"Calm the theatrics, would you? It's too early for this" Bree mumbled, rubbing her forehead. I stifled a laugh at seeing Annikah shoot Bree glares that could rival her own.

"I just had a long night" Bree explained vaguely and I nodded, getting a weird feeling for some reason.

"Where's Travis and Rafael?" I asked unsurely. "Travis is having a chat with Raf outside" Bree mumbled, still quite out of it. Annikah looked worried and it was adorable to see her acting like a mother hen.

As if on cue, both Travis and Rafael walked over to where we were standing. Rafael looked perturbed and his appearance was disheveled whereas Travis looked grim and serious, which was something I never expected to see on his face.

"Morning" Travis warily smiled whereas Raf had his fists clenched and rage was burning in his eyes. He looked like he could throttle someone in that moment and I instinctively took a step back.

Bree glanced at her Rafael and her eyes softened. I caught hurt in her eyes. This sent another wave of concern in my body as to what was going on and I was about to ask Rafael when I remembered Aiden's threat. It won't take them long to start having accidents.

I flinched from the memory and I saw Rafael and Bree look at me. I saw a hint of concern flash in Raf's eyes before his eyes glazed over and that thunderous rage returned.

I sucked in a sharp breath through my teeth, suddenly feeling scared for some reason. Stop being a wuss. That caused all eyes to turn on me and I saw various expressions outlined on their faces. Concern, pain, anger.

"How's the weather today?" I brightly exclaimed and cringed at how I sounded like a mum of two at book club.

"Do I look like the fucking weatherman?" Rafael snapped, glowering at me and I again took a few steps back from him and leaned my back against the locker. It would've been funny at any other time, but right now it wasn't.

In that moment, I felt queasy standing around him, scared that if I said one word wrong, he would lash out and I hated that feeling.

"Quit it" Bree glowered at him, but I could still detect the concern in her voice. Rafael was fuming and the heat of his gaze was enough to get Bree to shut up. I was feeling disconcerted by the sudden dark atmosphere and my lack of sleep wasn't really helping.

"Okay, why don't we all take a moment to calm down and not act like someone pissed in their weetbix" Travis grinned, nudging Rafael.

"I couldn't give two fucks about it. Tell that to someone who cares" Rafael scowled and stormed off, and suddenly the air felt like lead, weighing down on me. I took a deep breath and tried to smile at the others, but everyone except Annikah had a sullen look on their face. She just looked awkward.

"It's his time of the month, don't mind him" Travis tried to lighten the mood but it was like none of us heard him. Annikah was fidgeting with the strap of her backpack and Bree was talking with Travis in hushed whispers.

They were too busy to notice me and Annikah walking away, still immersed in their conversation. I couldn't ignore the feeling of being left out, but I persuaded myself that it wasn't any of my business.

When I reached English, I saw Rafael there and a part of me was relieved that he hadn't done anything stupid, like yesterday. Annikah and I looked at each other and walked to our seats.

Rafael didn't spare a glance to the either of us and stared ahead, his jaw clenched and his lips were a thin line as he had his fists clenched. He looked daunting, but the most terrifying thing were his eyes. They were no longer bright nor glimmering with happiness.

His eyes had become two tempestuous pools of swirling wrath, shrouded by darkness and contempt. They were hauntingly beautiful.

Fuck, I'm going all William Wordsworth right now.

We waited for Mrs. Lively to arrive in complete silence and it was as if the mood of the entire classroom had shifted, at least for me as I waited for Rafael to crack a joke or say he was kidding earlier.

Nothing of that sort happened and I was guilty with overthinking and reading more into the situation than I should have. His sudden hostility was really unnerving.

When Mrs. Lively arrived, my mind was still struggling about if I should ask him if he's alright or not. The situation was quite ironical considering I was the one ignoring him yesterday. Maybe I should leave him alone.

I tried to focus and looked over to see Annikah attentively taking down notes. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rafael still deep in thought, his jaw ticking as he stared ahead with his sole concentration on a lone pen in front of him.

"Hey" I whispered to him, but he ignored me. Okay then.

I didn't say anything for the next ten minutes. It was pathetic how I couldn't pay attention in class just because I was obsessing over the absurd thoughts festering in my mind.

"Are you okay?" I blurted out before I could stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth. I saw Annikah glance our way before quickly averting her gaze.

He ignored me once again and I sighed. I wasn't going to get angry because I had treated him like this yesterday. Say hello to Karma, bitch.

I looked ahead and once again failed to absorb anything Mrs. Lively was teaching. Damn, this sucks.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, but are you okay?" I don't know if I had a death wish when I talked to Rafael for the third time because the burning glare he shot me was probably enough to  disintegrate my bones.

"Why don't you ask your fucking boyfriend that?" he spat out with such venom that I physically recoiled as if he had slapped me.

I wished I hadn't asked in the first place because now the entire classroom's attention was on us. Including Alec who was shooting me a murderous warning glare, which I ignored. I really had to thank my stars for this amazing week.

"Mr. Hernandez!" Mrs. Lively boomed and I flinched once again, my body acting of it's own accord. I shrinked further into my seat, hoping I could be anywhere but here right now.

I was clenching my fists in an attempt to stop my hands from shaking, but it was like they were revolting against my control.

"Yeah?" Rafael said in a nonchalant tone, not even looking at her. He was looking at me, his gaze was spiteful, just like I had imagined in my nightmare and this revelation was enough to make my mind go down a dark rabbit hole of self destructive thoughts.

"Detention. After School" She gritted out, her face was red from the effort of holding back her anger. "Sorry. Can't do that. I'm busy" he rolled his eyes and his cold demeanour was scaring me.

"You have no choice in the matter" Mrs. Lively shouted, losing her cool as Rafael deviated his poisonous sight onto her, and she shifted a little, much to my surprise.

"Take that up with my father" he stared icily at her, dismissing her with a wave of his hand. I expected him to storm out like yesterday but he stayed put and lifted an eyebrow in challenge to her.

Mrs. Lively was an inch away from bursting a carotid, her face was now scrunched up in anger and her eyes were brimming with hate. She surprised me, once again, by turning back and resuming her teaching.

I was still on the verge of having a full blown breakdown as my hands were shaking and my eyes were flitting everywhere but at Rafael, whose heated gaze I could still feel. I didn't understand what was happening. What did Aiden do now?

As soon as the bell rang, I dashed out of the room and into the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and took a few deep breaths. I ran my hands through my hair multiple times and tried to go back to normal. At least a hint of normal.

By the time I felt somewhat better, I realised I was very late for class. I matted my hair down, trying to get it to look less like a bird's nest.

I rushed towards Biology, cursing myself for being so stupid. The hallways were empty and when I reached the classroom, Mr. Harris shot me a deadly gaze. By the amount of lethal looks I was receiving, you would assume I had a bounty on my head.

"To what do I owe this pleasure" he asked in a passive-aggressive tone. "Sorry I got caught up" I said, and when he sighed and allowed me in, I added his name to the list of teachers I remotely liked.

When I sat down, I saw Bree hadn't even batted an eye towards me, she was too lost in her own mind by the look on her face. This day was just going downhill every second.

"Hey" I said softly and she slightly jumped out of her daze, flashing me a tired smile.

By now, I was swarmed with thoughts about what the actual fuck was going on but I decided not to pry. I'd already been in the line of firing of one Hernandez Twin, I didn't want to end up being blown up by the other.

Biology stretched on, a thick air of tension clouding over us. I felt like the students around us could also sense it too, by the way they were looking over their shoulders every few minutes, glancing at God knows what.

When Biology got over, Bree didn't stick around to talk. She was out the door but I felt like she wasn't ignoring me like Raf. She was just preoccupied.

The two classes after that seemed even longer than usual, the sinking feeling in my stomach was multiplying by the second. I could swear it felt like something was majorly off since the moment I stepped foot into school, turns out Aiden was responsible for that something.

When Lunch rolled around, I was undeniably hungry but I decided to skip and go to the Library instead. The cafeteria was a nightmare that I wasn't ready to face at this moment. Besides, I was sure my presence wasn't needed today.

I was walking past the cafeteria when I saw Rafael out of the corner of my eye. I looked to our lunch table and felt a sharp pang in my chest when I observed that everyone but me was there, talking amongst themselves.

I stood there for a moment, just looking on as Annikah and Travis were talking amongst themselves. I probably looked freakishly stalker-ish. Bree and Rafael would occasionally contribute to the conversation but it was obvious that they weren't there mentally.

I saw Rafael get up and walk to the counter, passing by Aiden's table when his spine stiffened. I caught Aiden's mouth moving, almost unnoticeably.

I saw Rafael shake with anger, leaving me wondering what Aiden said to rile him up. Aiden was still murmuring something and Rafael was still listening on, not moving an inch as his entire body went rigid.

And in the flash of a second, Rafael turned around and grabbed Aiden by the collar, his few inches giving him an advantage over Aiden, but that wasn't what I registered.

Even from a distance, I couldn't miss it. Rafael's face was twisted into pure rage, his furious eyes blazing and his lips were curled into a sinister sneer. It was like all his pent up anger from the morning had tipped over the edge and spilled over.

His fingers were clenched around Aiden's collar and were tightening as he said something and then he slammed Aiden into the ground, the impact snapping me out of my reverie.

I didn't know what caused me to panic, but I ran into the cafeteria, horrified by the turn of events.

Rafael was on top of Aiden, mercilessly pounding his fists into every inch of Aiden's upper body. He looked feral, nothing like a human and he sadistically smirked when he saw blood spewing out of Aiden's nose.

His eyes were significantly a few shades darker, his pupils dilated as if he revelled in seeing Aiden in pain. His face was getting redder, his hair falling in front of his eyes, but he didn't seem to perceive anything other than the guy in front of him.

A thin sheen of sweat lined his forehead as he continued assaulting Aiden, the amplitude of his punches was getting higher.

I didn't even notice it but the others were beside me as soon as I screamed for them to stop. "Rafael Stop It!" I yelled but it was like he was in a daze. The sound of his fists making contact with Aiden's battered skin reverberated throughout the Cafeteria, and the sickening metallic smell of blood lingered in the air. A picture I was way too familiar with.

Heaps of students were looking on in horror, some were shamelessly recording and a few looked amused by the entire ordeal. The Rugby team was hesitating to step in and I couldn't see Alec anywhere.

"Stop" I yelled but my protests fell on deaf ears. Travis was trying to pull Rafael off of Aiden, but it seemed like he couldn't get a hold.

Annikah had averted her eyes while Bree was yelling at Rafael in what I assumed was Spanish. Even the fire in her voice wasn't enough to pull Rafael out of whatever state of mind he was in.

I couldn't get the terrifying look of satisfaction on Rafael's face out of my mind when he started attacking Aiden. His stormy eyes were now a raging tornado, pulling apart at the seams and the fury within was tearing down everything in the near vicinity.

"Stop it, Just Stop" I kept on yelling it like a mantra and everyone was looking at me like I was some deranged woman. My voice was strangled and I felt my throat slightly constrict.

The memories of Aiden's endless beatings were flickering in front of my eyes, and my mind was comparing both the situations even if they were solar systems apart. The phantom pain was coursing through me, leaving me breathless and I was biting my lip in agony.

I was losing control. I was crossing the thin line between reality and the dark place in my head.

I could hear my breaths come deeper, and my eyes struggled to focus on any one thing. My ears were ringing and I could feel a hollowness in my stomach that made me feel light weighted and dizzy. It felt like I was in some sort of tranquil state, unable to decipher reality.

My feet acted of their own accord as I stepped towards the two brawling guys, the monstrous flashbacks playing in my head like a terrifying loop.

I wasn't sure what I intended on doing, but the next thing I felt was the hard muscles of Rafael's biceps as I tried to pry him off of Aiden. My fingernails dug into his smooth skin, but he didn't seem to comprehend my presence.

I was still screaming, my mind blurring from a thousand thoughts zipping through at once.

I kept on pulling Rafael, but my efforts were futile. Suddenly, I got elbowed harshly in the stomach by Rafael and I snapped out of whatever trance I was in. I stumbled back and was about to fall embarrassingly on my ass when Travis' hand steadied me.

Travis was looking at me with a concerned look. I saw fury bubbling beneath his usually calm and steady eyes. He looked over to the fight and with a sudden iron-clad grip he managed to pull Rafael off of Aiden.

Rafael was huffing but Travis pushed him away and held him there, saying something almost inaudibly.

My gaze shifted over to the person I had the displeasure of calling my boyfriend.

I couldn't even recognise Aiden. His face was painted in blood, as if someone had splattered red paint. Hi lip was split open, gushing blood falling onto his neck and I could see his cheek had been cut in many places. Blood was pouring from various open wounds on his face and neck and I didn't even want to know the damage beneath his shirt. His eyes were swollen shut, and my breath hitched as I realised Rafael had done this.

He was capable of such violence, triggering so many repressed memories. He did this. I was shaking by now, but all I could hear in my mind was 'Rafael did this'.

Pain was shooting through my abdomen and I clutched my ribs in pain. It wasn't intentional at all, and that should've been enough to reinforce my mind that Rafael wasn't someone I should be scared of. But it wasn't. I hated that.

I took a step back and then another and I knew that if I didn't get away from here I would end up drawing even more attention to myself. Not like I hadn't done that already.

Yet, I couldn't move my eyes from all the blood, Aiden's chest rising minimally and the disturbing look on Rafael's face as he looked blankly at what he had done. He looked detached and still in a stupor, but there was no regret on his face.

I was frozen in my spot, and I saw Travis approach me but I stepped back just to come crashing with Bree and Annikah who were now behind me. Another wave of agony shot through my abdomen and I pathetically whimpered. Fuck.

It was as if a switch had been flipped and Rafael was now looking at us. I noticed that he had been injured too, even if it was nothing compared to the state Aiden was in.

His left eye was purple and both his cheeks were littered with cuts. His fists were coated with blood, and as if something possessed him he started to march towards us purposefully. 

When he stepped forward I stepped back, fear overpowering my nerves. When he took another step, I stumbled back again. He was stepping closer and he raised his hand but I flinched harshly. I saw hurt, guilt and regret flood his eyes which had significantly softened.

Bree and Annikah were at my side and Annikah looked at me worriedly whereas Travis looked disconcerted by the entire ordeal. Bree was trying to talk to Rafael but he had focused his gaze on me and that's when I noticed the tears streaming down my face, drenching the upper part of my top. They weren't stopping and I hadn't even realised it.

I wiped my face but my hands were trembling and a shaky breath escaped me as I felt another pang in my ribs. He had elbowed me directly on a bruise that was still raw. He hadn't meant it. But then another sinister thought flowed through my brain which chilled me to my bone. How was he any different from Aiden if he enjoyed seeing others in pain?

His gaze trailed down from my face to my torso, which I was clutching in pain and I saw a new wave of guilt flood his eyes. He looked broken, as if he didn't know what to do. I didn't either.

Rafael lifted his hand again a little and I retreated back. Even if Aiden had deserved every punch thrown his way, a fear of Rafael was now blooming in my mind.

The next thing I know, teachers were pulling Rafael away but he still wouldn't break our gaze. Bree was following them outside as they dragged him to the Principal's office.

The students scattered but they were all shooting weird looks at our little group. Some even appeared scared.

I watched on numbly, forgetting about a nearly unconscious Aiden who was being taken to the Nurse's Office and they mentioned something about calling Andrea and Mark as he needed to go to the hospital.

It all felt like a blur as a fresh set of tears welled up in my eyes and I suddenly felt very, very tired. Without even thinking, I slumped down on the Cafeteria floor. If I wasn't feeling woozy, I would've been embarrassed by my pitiful display of behaviour. I was so weak.

A string of muffled sobs escaped my mouth as I tried to block both the present and the past tangled in my mind. I was being pulled into a hug and I finally let everything go. Just great. I was having a breakdown on the Cafeteria floor. Aspire to be me like me, people. I really do have the highest standards.

I was flooded by buried memories I had been pushing down for so long, refusing to acknowledge them. I guess that all boiled down to this. Fantastic.

I was sure I was sobbing hysterically at this point, drenching whoever's shirt I was clinging onto like a koala. The friendly comfort made me cry even harder and my nose was getting stuffier. Yes, I was an ugly crier.

Someone else hugged me from the back but I was too tired to say anything about the needles of pain stabbing throughout my body. I didn't protest against the physical contact that I would've protested against in any other circumstance. I basked in the comfort.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally let go and saw Annikah in front of me and Travis behind me, both looking very concerned. My heart warmed with that feeling, but a realisation hit me. Was my makeup off? I analysed their faces carefully and they didn't look shocked or disgusted, so I guessed the waterproof makeup really came through.

"I'm really sorry about that" I said motioning to Annikah's tear stained shirt. "Don't worry about it" she smiled and Travis intervened. "Do your ribs hurt?" he asked and I shook my head, gritting my teeth to hide my lie.

He gave me a hand to help me up and then Annikah. Was it crazy that we were having a group hug in the middle of the cafeteria? Nope.

"Are you sure?" he looked suspiciously at me but then let it go when I stayed quiet. "What happened to the both of them?" I suddenly asked, my mind reeling from the new events that had just occurred.

"Raf's in the Principal's office and they took Aiden to the hospital. Bree's with Raf in the den" Travis grimaced. I was too self-absorbed to notice anything around me.

I was about to ask if he knew why it happened when my phone rang. I saw Andrea's name flashing on my screen and immediately picked up.

"Blaze. What happened? We're on our way to the hospital. Did you see him?" She started shooting away, her voice frantic and distressed. I immediately felt sorry for not going with Aiden.

"I- I didn't see anything. I just heard it was a fight" I fibbed. At this rate, lies were flowing out of my mouth as smooth as butter. Travis and Annikah were looking at me weirdly.

"Honey, are you okay?" She asked but her voice seemed distant and concerned, not about me but her son, which was absolutely warranted.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'll get to the hospital as soon as I can" I told her. "Should I come pick you up?" she asked but I shook my head. I realised I was on the phone, so she wouldn't see that. Stupid.

"No no, it's okay. Just call me with an update" I sighed, wondering what was going to happen now. "Okay sweetie. I hope he's okay" her voice cracked a little. "I do too" maybe it was true, a part of me was worried only for the sake of Mark and Andrea. I doubted where my loyalties lay.

She hung up with a goodbye and I noticed the cafeteria was now empty. "Is he at the hospital?" Travis gritted out and it was obvious he was battling himself not to say more. "Good" he muttered under his breath, but both Annikah and I heard and looked at him in shock.

He sheepishly smiled, not an ounce of regret on his face and I couldn't blame him. I didn't know where I stood in this situation either. Annikah on the other hand looked mortified.

"Did you just say what I heard you say?" Annikah said calmly and Travis nodded shamelessly. "Violence is never the answer" she exclaimed dramatically. "In this case, it was. Trust me" he said ominously and it was scary to see him drop the funny act.

All three of us were just standing there in silence, not sure what to do. One thing, however, was certain. This was something that would definitely change a lot.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

I had rushed to the hospital after school, Travis begrudgingly dropping me off. I hadn't seen either Bree or Rafael since Lunch. The last three periods were a drag, filled with whispers and weird looks thrown my way. It was like sophomore year all over again.

Seeing Aiden in a hospital bed, surrounded by monitors and covered with bruises and cuts was an unpleasant sight. A minuscule, dark part of me was pleased by it.

His eyes were swollen shut and even if the blood had been cleaned off, some areas of his skin were still stained red. His skin was an assortment of purple and red, a canvas of intermingled scars and wounds. A few areas of his face, including his lips had been stitched up. He looked like he had been mauled by a Yeti.

Both Mark and Andrea were by his side, and Andrea was crying. Mark looked furious as he typed away on his phone.

As soon as Andrea saw me, she hugged me and started firing questions at me. Did you see anything? What caused the fight? Who hit who first? We have an idea who the boy is. I froze at the last part of her frenzy, suddenly feeling very protective of Rafael. He did this, the small voice echoed in my mind.

"Neither of the boys are speaking" Mark muttered frustrated, still busy on his phone. "He's asleep. He doesn't have a concussion" she informed me and I nodded mildly.

"You don't have to stay, go get some rest. You look tired" she commented but I shook my head. I wanted to find out he much they knew and what exactly had happened from Aiden when he woke up. It was selfish of me, but I couldn't help it.

The three of us sat there in silence, trying to avoid all conversation. After some time, Mark left saying he had to go to work. I sent Andrea to the cafeteria to get some food. Secretly, I wanted some time alone to think.

I just sat there scrolling on my phone and saw tons of messages from Bree, Travis and Annikah. Travis and Annikah had repeatedly asked me if I was okay to which I said I was absolutely fine, they didn't need to worry.

I found out from Trav that Rafael had been suspended only for a week which was a major shocker for me. I knew his dad had some influence on the school, but getting off with just a slap on the wrist was impossible for this situation. I actually thought he would be expelled.

Bree had apologised several times for leaving me in the cafeteria and I instantly felt like an attention whore. Yay for me.

She vaguely explained that Aiden had said something personal and Raf lost it, which confirmed my suspicions. Aiden knew something about Raf that I didn't.

I had no messages from Rafael and I decided to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. I was thinking about giving Bree a call when I saw Aiden stirring from the corner of my eye.

He sat up and immediately winced in pain as he clutched his torso. I instinctively stood up to help him but backed off. He never helped me, all he did was hurt me.

His eyes were a slit, barely open due to all the swelling, but I could make out that he was glaring at me. I thought about calling Mark and Andrea but decided to stall. I had questions.

"What did you say to him?" I cut straight to the chase, trying to muster up confidence. He tensed at my question, a heaviness lingering in the air when he didn't answer.

"G-Get some fucking water" his raspy voice demanded and I gritted my teeth while glaring at him. "How's it feel?" I mumbled as I got him a glass of water and I saw him scrunch his face in pain as he lifted the glass to his lips. I desperately wanted to smash the glass on his face.

"Whatever I said to him is none of your business" he said a few seconds later, and even in this form I could feel him get angry. I was accustomed to it. "Fuck you. It is. So either you tell me or I hint Mark and Andrea about what's really going on" I argued, my voice rising a notch. It was an empty threat. I would never be able to tell them. At least not for now.

He grabbed my wrist but his grip was weak and I pushed him away. It felt good to be in some power over him.

I felt an overwhelming urge to burst out at him and thats exactly what I did, my words tumbling over one another.

"Do you get how it feels every time you do this to me? It hurts, doesn't it? Now imagine going through that everyday, letting someone take advantage of you just because you're too tired to fight back. I let you destroy me, but you never get enough. You always find new ways to hurt me. You violated me. You were supposed to love me" my vision was blurry from my unshed tears as I ranted to him. I wanted to see his face but all I could see was a watery shadow.

I didn't know what reaction I had expected with my sudden outburst, but it definitely wasn't what I heard next. "You're the reason everything happened. Wherever you go, you cause death and pain. Kiara was too wound up in helping you that she lost herself. I couldn't see my own sister suffering because everyone was too busy helping you piece your life together. I remember you telling her that you blamed yourself for your parents death. I didn't believe it back then but I do now. You killed them just like you killed her. You should've died. Not her" his voice was just shy of yelling, I was surprised no one had heard us yet.

This was the most honest he'd been with me and I detected a sense of pain and hurt in his voice. His words were a punch to the gut and I held onto the table for support.

"Sometimes I wish I had too" I mumbled, feeling a physical pain in my chest as my throat went dry. I didn't stop to see his face nor what the doctors said. I walked out of the hospital, avoiding curious and worried glances from the people around me.

I walked home slowly, hearing my phone ring multiple times but I was too wound up in my own thoughts to pay attention to anything but repeating one phrase over and over in my mind. Everything was my fault.

I showered and went straight to bed, leaving Andrea a message that said I was home and I couldn't see Aiden in the hospital right now.

My sleep was littered with nightmares that night, all ending with me ruining everything. I wondered if I should go seek therapy at this point or was it all useless? What would I tell her- that my boyfriend was abusive and the death of my best friend had triggered my own suicidal thoughts? It didn't seem like the best idea.

Saturday afternoon was when I overheard Mark and Andrea's conversation in the kitchen. Alec and his friends were with Aiden in the hospital as he was going to be discharged in the evening.

I had gone down to grab a glass of water when I heard two voices speaking in hushed whispers.

"It's Jason's boy isn't it? You're fighting his case? That boy beat our son to unconsciousness and you still want to work with his him and his father? He's nothing but trouble. Mark, drop his case. We should be pressing charges" Andrea sounded furious.

"I can't drop his case. You know how important this case is, he needs someone he trusts.  We, of all people know what it's like to lose a kid" he paused and his voice was barely a whisper as I strained to hear more.

"Jason doesn't want anyone else knowing about the case against his son. We can't press charges, it was a fight which was initiated on both sides" Mark reasoned. His voice sounded fatigued.

"You're choosing to defend someone else's son over your own? He's the only child we have left" Andrea retorted, her shaky voice rising a notch. "All I'm saying is Aiden isn't innocent. He's been more aggressive and different since we came back" Mark reasoned, worry lacing his tone. "You don't think he's going through the same thing as.." Andrea trailed off, her voice cracking at the end.

I stopped myself from gasping and then there was silence. I took this as my cue to enter and smiled artificially at the both of them over my glass. They gave me curious looks but I just smiled warily as I noticed how extremely knackered they looked.

I raced upstairs, my mind reeling from the conversation I eavesdropped on. What case? How did Mark know Raf's father? Did Aiden know about about this? Were they talking about Kiara? Did Raf and Bree have a sibling?

All these questions were enough to take up the entirety of my day as I tried to focus on something productive but failed to do so.

It was now Sunday afternoon and I had barely slept, my slumber interrupted with the frequent nightmares that were getting more scary day by day.

Aiden had come back yesterday evening. His ribs were bruised, just shy of fracturing, his face was a story of it's own with a broken nose and multiple stitches. His entire abdomen was an assortment of purples, blacks and reds. The doctors said he would heal within 2-3 weeks as his dosage was considerably high. I couldn't even look at him after my outburst at the hospital the day before.

I was back in bed after showering and having brunch. I planned on staying here delving into the thousands of possibilities that I had derived from Mark and Andrea's conversation.

If it was as personal as Mark and Andrea had made it out to be and Aiden somewhat knew, he would've mentioned it to Rafael causing the fight. The question was- What was the case about?

The more I thought about it, the more I grew confused and drew a blank. I knew absolutely nothing about Rafael and that thought was slightly disturbing, but it had been a week even if it felt more like a month.

I hadn't picked up my phone since yesterday, ignoring the numerous notification pings I heard. I was quite literally a walking corpse. My eyes were even more sunken in than normal, which was saying a lot and I prayed the makeup made some difference. The faint bruises on my face were now slightly fading away, but not completely.

I was thinking about going to Kiara and I's place by the pond, when I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I assumed Andrea had got it and decided to get changed.

Just as I was about to slip my tee off, I heard Andrea calling my name. "Blaze, your friend is here for you" her voice was excited and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

I went downstairs, still in my weirdly mismatched clothes, and saw Andrea beaming at me. I already had a faint idea as to who was behind her.

"I didn't know you had made new friends" she gleamed like a happy mother.

She somewhat knew how hard it was for me to make new friends after everything and considering all my old ones hightailed it out of my life, it was justifiable that she was enthusiastic about me making friends. Like I said, she was a second mother to me.

Bree popped her head out from behind Andrea, a guilty smile adorning her features.

"We're just going to drive around and then maybe grab a bite to eat" Bree explained, her eyes flitting from Andrea to me nervously. Did she know that Mark was Raf's lawyer too?

I still couldn't get over the fact that Raf had a criminal case against him that Mark was going to fight. Plus, Mark somehow knew Raf's dad. This was way too weird.

"Go get dressed then" Andrea motioned for me to go upstairs. "Hey, come on" I took Bree with me, saving her from a possibly uncomfortable situation.

I entered the room and grabbed an outfit with Bree following me. She looked around, her gaze travelling across the various objects in the room.

My bedroom was pretty plain with an ivory and blush pink theme. I had some throw pillows scattered across my bed and a rug at the foot of the bed. Other than that, my room was bare, except for the necessities like my desk and electronics and a small chair in the corner.

"I like your room" she commented as her eyes zeroed in on the two photo frames on my bedside table. One was of me with my parents as an eight year old. I was grinning brightly as my dad rubbed ice cream on my nose and my mum watched us with a fond smile.

The second was of Kiara and I in freshman year. We had gone hiking and Kiara had ended up slipping on one of the rocks and face planting on the ground. I was in hysterics at her expression, when she had suddenly pulled me down with her and we were on the prickly grass, laughing our asses off. Jonah thought of that as the perfect click. It was.

I think she figured out the first one was of my parents as she didn't say anything but she quietly mumbled, "Who's she?". Her voice was barely audible but I tensed nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked" Bree rambled as she looked at me. "She was my best friend, Kiara. Aiden's sister" I said softly as Bree stiffened a bit at the 'was' part of my sentence. I could sense the question of 'how did she die' lingering in the air. For some reason I blurted out, "It was a car accident", the practiced lie rolling off of my tongue.

Bree sadly smiled at me "I'm so sorry" and her eyes were not looking at me pitifully or sympathetically, but rather worriedly. I was taken aback by the understanding in her eyes, as if she too had lost someone who she loved. That brought my attention back to the question gnawing at the back of my mind - Who had they lost?

I nodded and mumbled an 'it's okay' and then left the room to change in the adjoining bathroom. My body ached and protested, but I was glad to see some bruises were fading to greens.

I entered the room once again to see Bree sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed. "It doesn't have bed bugs you know" I grinned at her and she scowled at me.

"When did this staged plan actually happen?" I said after I grabbed my phone and my wallet. "It was sort of impromptu, not staged. I guess everyone needs time to cool down" she said sheepishly, skilfully picking her next words. "You know, Raf's very sorry about what happened".

I looked at her and saw her staring at me meaningfully. "He has nothing to be sorry about. It's between him and Aiden" I mumbled, trying to avoid this topic.

"B, come on now. Don't lie to me. All I'm saying is you should talk to him. He sure as hell wants to talk to you, but he doesn't know how to" I nodded meekly, not quite sure how to react. In that moment, she sounded so much like Kiara that I couldn't help but smile sadly. She didn't comment on my weird behaviour.

"Where's Aiden?" she suddenly muttered with a venomous lilt. "Asleep in his room" I told her and she quirked an eyebrow.

"It's the afternoon" she commented. "He's pretty hurt. He needs the rest" I repeated what Andrea had told me mechanically. Bree looked at me as if to gauge my reaction, but I wore a poker face. I wasn't going to side with anyone, call me Switzerland. A part of me knew who I wanted to believe though.

Once I got everything I needed, we went downstairs to see Andrea sitting on the couch, typing on her phone. She looked up at us and grinned.

"Have fun" she waved as we approached the door. We said goodbye as I slipped my trainers on and Andrea insisted for Bree and the others to come over some day.

I wondered if she would be so persuasive if she found out who Bree actually was, judging by her tone yesterday afternoon.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw a Jeep near the driveway. Travis was in the driver's seat and the passenger seat was empty. In the backseat were Annikah and Rafael, who looked extremely uncomfortable from my vantage point.

Great, looks like I had Sunday plans after all.

Hey Babes! So... what are our thoughts on the chapters? Do you hate me or love me still? I swear I literally changed and deleted so much in this chapter cause I could never get it right, according to me. Let's just hope you guys liked it lmao.

Ayyyy it's my birthday, so if you're a September baby like me, can I get a whoop whoop? Even if I cross the big one-eight, I'm not really a legal adult. I'm lowkey dreading it. Maybe I'm a tad dramatic, okay a lot. My brother told me that I'm old now and I don't know if I should be offended.

A note for my future self: I might read or edit this a few years down the line and cringe at how shitty I used to write lol. For now, it's okay.

You should drop your birth date in the comment, see if you can find your long lost twin or something because that would be fun.

The death of Chadwick Boseman really rattled me, it's crazy to imagine that he's no longer with us. Wakanda Forever. I want to sue this year for all the fucking horrible things that have happened. Hands down, it has to be cursed by Satan or worse. Alexa, play 'F2020' by Avenue Beat (p.s love them).

Random Question Time: What TV Show are you currently bingeing on and which character are you loving?

Hit that little star below to vote and make it shine as bright as you do. But like it'll go orange, you get the gist though, right? RIGHT?

I literally have nothing to say in this author' note oop- surprise surprise. If you guys have some tea to spill, drop it piping hot in the comments haha I'd love to hear it.

I love all of you lovely people, have a good one. *waves and walks off stage*

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