"Dreams were supposed to be an escape, not a prison"

♛ R a f a e l ♛

When Blaze didn't come back for five minutes, my mind conjured up the worst of possibilities as I raced up the stairs.

I trusted her and I knew she wouldn't do anything but after what had happened with her Aunt, I was waiting with bated breath. I wasn't stupid, I knew it was something more than a slap.

Just the thought of someone laying a hand on Blaze violently sent rage racing through my body, my fingers trembling when I remembered the searing redness on her right cheek. It flashed through my mind again and again.

However, all that anger drained out of my body when I saw her hunched on my bedroom floor, shakily peering over the baggie that I had hidden well in my drawer, or so I thought.

"Fuck," I muttered as I took a hesitant step towards her but she stood up, reeling back.

"You lied to me." The accusation in her voice made me flinch and I took another step towards her.

"You told me you were sober, Raf." Blaze whispered shakily.

"I was," I murmured, and her eyes turnt to mine, overwhelmed with affliction.

"What happened?"

Guilt roared inside me at her question because I could come up with no answer.

"You're so adamant on stopping me from relapsing, what about you? Who the fuck is supposed to take care of you?" She ran her fingers through her hair feverishly. Anger, disbelief and concern battled her tone.

Every step I took closer, she pulled back.

"I can take care of myself," I mumbled as I tried to place my hands on her shoulders. She shrunk away, tears brimming her eyes.

"Is it because of me? Is it because I call you every night? Am I clingy? Fuck, Raf, you could've just told me you were fed up and tired." The irrational words spilt from her mouth in a flurry and an explosion of agony seared through my chest.

"I'm not fed up of you, Blaze. I never will be." My voice rose in volume but she seemed to be too consumed in her thoughts to hear.

"Am I not good enough for you to trust?" My mouth gaped open as she paced back and forth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." When she turned to me with those watery blue eyes, I couldn't stand it anymore, losing that thin thread of control.

"Fuck, Blaze. I can't stay away." The yell deafened her crying and her eyes cleared.

"It's not your fault, baby. It's mine, I'm the problem here," I edged towards Blaze, pulling her into my arms.

Feeling her ragged breathing against my chest ignited my own panic. Would she leave me after seeing that? We weren't even together but the thought scared me shitless.

Fucking failure.

"You're not the problem, you never were," she whispered and I instantly shook my head.

"Don't say that." I murmured back, knowing it was the truth. Even after seeing my mother almost overdose on this stuff and repeating the same, I couldn't give it up.

Blaze pulled back, glaring at me with enraged eyes and I gulped the lump in my throat.

"That is the problem," she pointed to the baggie on the floor. "Not you."

"Why did you lie to me?" her voice lowered to a whisper and my chest burnt.

"You were going through stuff of your own, Blaze. I couldn't dump this on you." As soon as I said it, her arms dropped from my stomach.

"Why not? Raf, we're supposed to be there for each other, that's how it's supposed to work." I couldn't meet her gaze, both embarrassment and the need to inhale a line coursing through my mind.

"What if something happened to you, huh? None of us knew what you were taking and what if we weren't there? I can't fucking lose you too, Raf." Blaze wiped her tears furiously, my jaw ticking when she didn't let me come close.

"You won't." Pushing my trembling hands into my pockets, I took a deep breath.

Another lie.

"No, that's what everyone says, but you know what? People die and they break promises and then it means nothing," she rubbed at her cheek subconsciously, the motion flaring guilt inside me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Blaze. But I'm not perfect either, I need to forget things too." The words came pouring out of my mouth, images of Cairo and my mother projecting forward.

There was an inherent need to remember the first and forget the second.

"Raf, you're perfect to me." Her eyes held so much conviction, and for a minute, I hesitated.

My mind was dancing a tango between telling her everything and hiding it so she'd never be exposed to that part of me. The way she looked at me, sometimes I believed I was flawless.

I inhaled shakily.

Fuck no, I wasn't crying.

Emotions were weak.

"What do you want me to do?" The question triggered more tears and my hands shook violently. I was doing everything wrong.

"Stop saying sober for other people," Blaze clenched her fists. "Please, do it for yourself."

"I don't know how to do that. I don't even know why I'm still alive at times, Blaze. I want to stop it but I can't." What the fuck was I saying?

Slumping on the edge of my bed, I tried to dampen my rapid breathing. Tugging at the neckline of my tee and digging my fingers into hair, things started to get fuzzy.

Anxiety soared through me, an attack just at the horizon. They were getting more frequent again.

Two hands pressed into my shoulders and I looked up to see Blaze standing between my legs, her red rimmed eyes staring into mine.

"We're going to get through this. Together," she whispered, tugging me by my tee.

The next thing I felt was the pressure of her lips against mine, soft and supple. I didn't waste time, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her close till I could feel her heartbeat thumping against my skin.

Her breath turned into mine, my pain into hers and everything else just bled away.

"I'm not going to lose you to anything." Blaze's voice was hoarse when she pulled away. I looked up at her, seeing a lone tear trek down her right cheek, the handprint flashing in front of my eyes.

Wiping it away with my thumb, I placed a soft kiss right on the spot I could still see the mark long after it was gone. Then another kiss on the left cheek and one on her nose.

A small smile played on her lips and a fluttering took flight in my stomach.

Fluttering? Who the fuck was I? John Keats?

Fuck, emotions were so much work.

Better to be a psychopath, like she called me.

My head rested between her shoulder blades, her breath fanning against my hair and I sighed. I felt comfort in the way her chin rested perfectly on my head and how my fingers dug softly into her back.

"You need to tell Bree." I instantly jerked away when Blaze said that.

"No, I'm not doing that." I shook my head and Blaze grasped my chin, pulling my face up.

"This isn't something that we can solve by ourselves, Raf."

Watching the way her lips moved, I wanted to capture them with mine again. Focus.

"Bree doesn't know, she still thinks I'm sober." I hated lying to Bree, she was practically the only family I had. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I had relapsed after rehab, I couldn't stand her comparing me to Teresa.

"I don't want to hurt her," I sighed, loathing how weak I sounded.

"Look, I can't force you into telling her. But she'll be more hurt if she finds out on her own. Raf, this isn't a tiny secret, we're talking about drugs here." If anyone else had said it, I would have flipped out but Blaze was different. The truth from her mouth didn't seem too bitter.

"What if she doesn't understand?" I groaned, looking for reassurance in her electric blue eyes.

"She's your sister, Raf. Have some faith in her," Blaze smiled gently and fuck if I didn't believe her.

"I need to tell her now," I muttered and Blaze stiffened. I knew if I stalled, I would never tell Bree. I'd gone for too long like this and Blaze was right.

"Now, like right now?" Her eyes widened and despite myself, I smiled.

"I didn't know there were ten different now's."

"Smartass."

"Your smartass," I grinned cheekily and basked in the way her cheeks flushed gradually.

"Shut up."

There was a fleeting moment where I stared into Blaze's eyes and realised that I was dependent on her, just like I was dependent on the bag of white powder she had just discovered.

However, an addiction to her was much better than the drugs that had torn my family apart.

"You'll be there, right?" There it was again, the desperation. Blaze was wrong, she wasn't the clingy one.

I was.

"If you want me to be." A flicker of reassurance burnt inside me when she smiled and I sighed in relief.

"Let's go," I pulled her hand and she bit her bottom lip.

"Do you have more?" Blaze looked down, shuffling awkwardly on her feet.

I didn't want to lie to her anymore so I nodded before making my way to the closet and rummaging through the bottom drawers.

Feeling Blaze's curious gaze on me, I pulled out my entire stash of pills and weed.

Her eyes widened marginally before she composed herself and gathered it. Guilt surged through me when I saw her shaking hands.

"I'll throw it away," I grabbed her wrist but she shook her head.

"No, I- um, I'll do it," she mumbled nervously, grabbing a small bag from my closet and stuffing everything inside. It wasn't much but I could sense her worry.

"I promise I'll get rid of it, you don't have to do it." I didn't want Blaze to even touch some of the stuff inside but she shook her head.

"I'm sorry but you're not getting this back."

"Alright." Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I followed after her as she slung the bag over her shoulders and waited for me by the stairs.

"Let's do this," Blaze grabbed my hand and I smiled. It wasn't like one of us was being deported but fuck, I was scared. Bree seemed tough but I knew just how much lies destroyed her. I hated myself for hiding my insobriety from her.

Trudging down the stairs, my fingers shook uncontrollably, sweat beading over every inch of my skin. Why was this so hard?

"We'll get through this together," she mumbled just before pushing the door to the cinema room open.

"Did you get the- wait were you crying?" Bree shot up as she saw Blaze, and paused after seeing our grim expressions and the bag in Blaze's hands.

"What happened?" Her eyes narrowed and I cleared my throat.

"Can we talk?" My nerves got the best of me as I looked away, Travis looking between the three of us worriedly.

"Is this about the controller I broke last week? I didn't mean to, I swear, it's stashed in the petunia bushes outside. I even held a funeral for it," Bree blurted out and my eyes widened.

Any other time and I would be fucking furious but I just shook my head.

"It's something serious, Bree." Blaze squeezed my hand and I motioned towards the couch.

Bree analyzed the two of us, her gaze stopping momentarily on our interlocked hands.

"You're not joking," she muttered slowly before nodding to herself.

"Well, I have something to tell you too," Bree glanced at Travis.

"Wait? Right fucking now?" Travis eyes widened as the two of them had a silent conversation. Confusion clouded me and I turned to Blaze for answers.

Seems like I was the only one behind on the gossip because she shared a look with Travis who was glancing at me nervously.

"I can't study with a broken jaw, Bree," Travis glared at her and she nervously fiddled with her thumbs.

"Please." Travis sighed as Bree looked up at him with a fallen expression. I narrowed my eyes at the two of them, about to say something, but Blaze shook her head.

What the fuck was going on?

"I'll be back, I need to go get something," Bree murmured before racing upstairs.

"What is going on?" Trav and I yelled at the same time.

"What was that? A broken jaw for what?" I pointed at him and he gulped nervously, shaking his head.

"You'll find out soon enough. You have ice packs, right?" I nodded at Travis' weird question.

Blaze dropped my hand and made her way over to where Travis was pacing the floor nervously.

I watched as they talked in hushed whispers, Travis looking agitated as he twisted the rings on his fingers and Blaze seemed nervous.

Once again, what the fuck was happening?

Thankfully, Bree came back with her Tweety plushie in hand. A small smile spread across my face and she scowled at me.

"Emotional support," Bree muttered as Trav and Blaze glanced at her in amusement.

She settled in beside Travis and I refrained from commenting on how close they were sitting. Blaze took her place beside me and I felt the nerves creep back in as I grabbed her hand.

"You first," Bree and I said simultaneously and it happened again before Bree sighed.

"Okay fine, just don't... freak out," she looked at me nervously and that instantly put me on guard.

"What did you do?"

My eyes widened as she grabbed Travis hand' and intertwined her fingers with his, my jaw clenching.

Oh no, they didn't.

"We're um... how do you say it? Dating?" Travis glanced at me guiltily, triggering a bout of anger.

"You're fucking joking, right?" I glared at the two of them, standing up and dropping Blaze's hand in the process.

I heard a sharp intake of breath before Travis shook his head.

As soon as he denied it, my fist collided with Travis' face and he reeled back, my anger getting the best of me.

Remorse spread through me as soon as I did it, seeing the look of utter disbelief on Bree's face.

However, that didn't stop me from landing another punch to his other cheek, the thump echoing through the room.

"Get away from him," Bree angrily pushed me away and a hand grabbed the back of my tee.

The sound of Travis' muffled groans reached my ears and I stepped away. Blaze pulled me back as I tried to stop the unchanneled rage.

I fucking punched my best friend who was 'dating' my sister. Fuck.

"Calm down, you should be supporting her," Blaze glared and I shrunk back as I saw the disappointment in her eyes.

"You knew too?" I failed to keep the incredulity out of my voice.

"Everyone but you," she mumbled and the anger climbed again. How long had this been going on?

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Bree didn't tell you because she knew this was how you'd react," Blaze crossed her arms over her chest and I frowned, clenching my fists.

"Well, how the fuck was I supposed to react then?" I snapped, glancing at Bree who had now gotten an ice pack and was placing it on Trav's face. The sight triggered a flinch and I looked away when Bree glowered at me.

"Anything but like that. You practically did the same thing, alright? I'm her best friend and you're her brother so we're not on a high horse here." My jaw clenched. Blaze was right, but that didn't make it easier to hear.

"Shit," I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Just sit there, calm down and apologise." It sounded like an order and I frowned when she quirked an eyebrow.

Grumbling, I sat down on the sofa, digging my fingers into the leather as I saw Bree stand between Travis' legs and gently touch the side of his face.

I looked away, not wanting to add another issue to the already problematic stew by punching Trav again.

Reluctantly, Bree turned around and met my gaze straight on, fiery anger burning beneath her brown irises.

She shoved Tweety to the side.

Oh, she's furious.

I gulped nervously as she stormed over, stopping just an inch away from me.

"Pull that shit again and I will punch you back, got it?" She pointed a finger and I nodded, albeit very slowly.

"Besides, I don't need your permission, alright? This was me telling you so you won't find out from someone else." She narrowed her eyes with clenched fists.

After a minute of glaring, I finally nodded. Bree smirked proudly and plopped down next to Travis, grabbing his hand and I tensed.

"Don't," Blaze murmured from beside me and I looked at her, taking a few deep breaths and slumping back.

"Hey man, I'm sorry. I get it and I'd act the same way if I had a sister," Travis winced, placing a hand on his cheek.

"Have to say though, your upper cut is pretty good."

"I'm sorry too, but I'd prefer if you fucking kept quiet right now." My jaw ticked and I looked away.

"Cut the macho man shit out," Bree snapped and I huffed in annoyance.

"You wanted to say something too?" Travis interrupted and I glared at him.

However, it dropped when I glanced at the black bag in one corner of the room, feeling the anxiety prick at my skin.

A faint rubbing on my wrist caught my attention and I saw Blaze grazing her thumb over my pulse point, nodding encouragingly.

"Can you promise you won't get mad?" I looked up at Bree and her face became solemn.

"Raf, what's going on?" I understood why she was so serious. I never asked for promises unless I meant them.

Fucking ironical how many of hers I had broken.

Holding out my pinky, I waited for her and she reluctantly got up.

Twisting our interlocked fingers and then bumping our fists, we knocked on each other's foreheads. Bree did it a lot harder and I was positive I got brain damage from it.

"So, what is it?" Bree asked and I glanced at Blaze before turning back to her.

"I'm not sober," I whispered lowly, the words feeling leaden on my tongue.

"What?" Bree's voice shook and I repeated myself louder.

I could feel my hands getting clammy in Blaze's as Bree's eyes watered while she took a few steps towards me.

"Hey, it's alright. I'll talk to Dad and he'll come home and we can figure it out, yeah?" Bree crouched before me and remorse flooded me like an open dam.

I couldn't get a word out due to a strange pricking at the back of my eyes.

"I thought you were sober again," Travis piped in and I glared at him, my fingers getting more sweaty as I saw Bree's expression fall.

"What do you mean again?" Her confusion was evident as she glanced between the three of us.

"What are you not telling me?" Bree turned to me and I kept staring at the black backpack in the corner. I needed a fix.

"How long have you not been sober, Raf?" Her voice rose and so did my breathing. Blaze's fingers nimbly rubbed the inside of my wrist and that was the only comfort I allowed myself.

"I broke my sobriety eight months ago," I mumbled but she heard it loud and clear, jerking back.

"You're lying, right?" An edge of sharpness coated her words and I shook my head.

"I was sober for a few weeks in between." My reasoning sounded dumb as fuck and Bree could see right through it.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" When I finally looked up, the tears in her eyes sent a fresh wave of agony thrashing about.

"I'm not addicted, Bree. I'm not like our mother."

The scoff that left her lips was bitter and the anger in her eyes was too similar to mine. The feeling of Blaze's fingers on my skin dampened my emotions.

"If you weren't fucking addicted, you wouldn't have lied to me for so long, Raf. Why didn't you tell me?" Bree's voice splintered and the look she sent me pierced right through my heart.

"I didn't want to hurt you." With everyone's eyes fixated on me, the truth seemed to shy away.

"Keep fucking lying, see where that got you," Bree snapped, shifting further away from me with each step.

"You promised me you'd tell me if you ever relapsed. How many times will you keep breaking promises?"

I flinched.

"I'm not an addict, Bree, I need them to forget." My plea to understand fell on deaf ears as she shook her head furiously.

"Stop using Cairo as an excuse. She's been dead for 7 years and all you've done since then is spiral. I always have to pick up the pieces." Tears freely streamed down her face and Blaze's fingers tightened around mine.

Instead of hurting me, Bree's words sparked a flare of anger.

"You don't what it was fucking like. I was in that car, not you. I do whatever I can to forget." I could feel Travis' searing glare on me but it was overpowered by the images of mangled bones.

The smoke of yesterday coiled around my throat, clouding the present and shrouding me in those memories.

Burning rubber and the smell of blood lingered in the air.

Blaze's fingers dug into my wrist and I glanced to see confusion and a glazed look shielding her eyes.

"Did you even think about me once? How I would feel?" The accusation in her eyes caught me off guard.

"It wasn't about you," I tried to reason but the tears on her face only increased.

"Of course it wasn't. It's always about you, you're fucking selfish." Her words struck a chord in my chest and I snapped.

"Selfish? You're calling me selfish, I was the one who didn't let you witness all that shit when we were kids and stopped you from seeing Teresa kill herself slowly day by day." Blaze's hand tightened around mine, her nails digging into my skin but that pain calmed me down.

Travis hesitantly took a step towards Bree but she shoved him away.

"Well, you know what? It still fucking scarred me, so you didn't do too good of a job," Bree's glare met mine head on.

When Travis made another move to calm Bree down, she pushed him away, breaking our gaze.

"You two knew all this time?" Her anger shifted on Travis and Blaze, their faces slackening.

Slowly, they nodded and Bree's face flashed with hurt.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Brown eyes gleaming with accusation fixated on them and Blaze stiffened.

"I don't know," she murmured truthfully and Bree just shook her head.

"I told them not to." Bree ignored me, glaring at Travis.

"And you? You could fucking sneak around with me for months but you didn't think you should slip it in that my brother wasn't sober," Travis winced, not having something to say for the first time.

"Don't blame them," I interrupted but Bree shot me a glare.

My skin burnt with anger, hurt and regret. I felt shackled by my own fear, terror of disappointment and abandonment.

"You kept his secret, you enabled him," Bree whispered harshly, her voice gritty as she glanced at the two.

Before we could get another word out, Bree's eyes burnt with a rage that I had believed was only restricted for those she loathed.

Right now, that was me.

"After everything that has happened, you should've told me. What if something had happened to him? He's a fucking idiot, but you too?" Her gaze was fixated on Travis but I could tell she was saying it to Blaze too.

"What happened?" Blaze spoke up. In that moment, I saw disbelief and then surprise cross Bree's face.

The rubbing on my wrist intensified.

"You don't know?" Bree's voice softened marginally.

"Of course you don't know. He didn't tell you," she scoffed bitterly, unlocking a part of her that resembled our mother too much.

I hated myself for the comparison.

"I'm not the only one you've been fucking lying to then, huh?" I flinched as Bree turned to me.

"What is she saying?" Trav and Blaze turned to me simultaneously and I shook my head.

"Don't, Bree. I'm not that person anymore." My desperation fell to no effect as Bree wiped her eyes.

The sight scarred me. Hurting everyone around me seemed to be a recurring event.

"No, they need to know because you don't fucking realise how serious this is." Blaze glanced at me in worry and confusion upon hearing Bree.

"I do realise and that's why I told you," I snapped, knowing it was a lie as soon as the words left my mouth.

I focused on the calming motions on my wrist.

"Eight months, that's how long you hid this from me. How did you do it?" Bree's voice shook.

"I'm not addicted, Bree. I told you. I don't take them everyday." I was trying to rationalize it to myself, failing at every step.

"Why aren't you getting it Raf? We're talking about drugs here, it's a slippery slope. Fuck, didn't you learn anything from Mum?" She ran a hand through her hair, sweat beading at her forehead and I winced as the memories assaulted me once again.

All that white powder, the first time I stole her pills and crushed them under my phone. Her nails digging into my arm whenever she got too mad and the blood on my knuckles when I got into fights to channel that rage out.

It was all too much.

"He didn't tell you why he went to Rehab, did he?" Bree asked Blaze, effectively snapping me out of the whirlwind past.

"Bree, don't." I tried to make her understand that I didn't want them seeing me that way, a person who gave into pills because he was too weak to handle the trauma.

"Didn't Raf go on his own?" Travis furrowed his brows and I knew that Bree would call out that lie.

Trav and Blaze looked at me for answers when I shifted my gaze down to the floor.

"I lied," I directed at them and the circles on my wrist stopped, as did the calm that came with it.

Looking up, I saw Blaze looking at me in a way I was all too familiar with- disappointment.

"He overdosed, ten minutes from dying, right Rafael? Just like dear old mother," Bree whispered, harshness mixed with agony in her tone.

I didn't remember much from that day, only fuzzy tidbits. Grabbing Mum's leftover packet of white powder and cutting several lines on my bedside table. Feeling the memories of her hurling all those accusations at me a few days ago as Dad had kicked her out after the incident. The powder tickling my nose and the saline tears trekked down my face, giving in to the emotional weakness she hated.

A murderer, killed my own sister.

I dug my nails into my palm, wanting Blaze's hand in mine but she had moved further away, pressed against one side of the couch. Her fingers twisted the bracelet on her wrist.

"Why would you lie to us about that?" The same accusation shone in her eyes like Bree. It seemed foreign on Travis' face as well.

"I- I just... I don't know." Fragility spilled through and I hated myself for revealing this vulnerable part.

"So you could've overdosed and that would've been on us?" Blaze's eyes watered as she looked at me and I shook my head.

"I'm not an addict." The same words echoed through my brain but they didn't sound meaningful while leaving my tongue.

Addicts were supposed to be fanatic for a hit, do anything to get their next fix. You couldn't hide addiction like I had, it was impossible. I needed the drugs but I wasn't dependent on them.

My mother was an addict, I wasn't, right?

"You keep saying that, but it doesn't change the fact that you've been taking them and hiding it from us," Travis spoke up, his voice steely in contrast to his usual nature.

"I can't do this," Bree muttered while grabbing her phone from the table. She moved past all of us and towards the door.

I shot up, grabbing her arm and she pushed me away.

"Where are you going?" I tried to stop her but she just glared.

"None of your business."

"You're going to help me, right?" The desperation leaked through and her face softened a fraction before her eyes flashed with anger.

"I'm going to tell Dad and he'll come home. He'll handle it," she murmured softly and my heart beat wildly in my chest like a caged bird.

"What about you?" My voice quivered and when she shook her head, I could hear the blood rush to the ends of my body.

"Raf, I can't anymore. Not with you and Mum doing the same shit over and over again. Go to Rehab and get this fixed."

"No, no, no. You can't give up so easily, you said you'd help me through anything." Feeling the gazes of Trav and Blaze only added to my anxiety when I reached to pull Bree back, but she jerked away.

"Don't," she glared at me. "That was before you lied to me."

"I'm sorry, I said I'm sorry." Bree ignored me, making a move for the steps and I barricaded her way.

"Where are you going?" Her nostrils flared at my question and I paused when she glowered at me venomously.

"None of your fucking business," I flinched at the harshness in her tone but I knew it was well deserved.

She was halfway up the stairs, when I asked again and this time, Bree whirled around, the stormy expression on her face deepening.

"Oh, just to hop on the fucking family bandwagon and buy myself a couple of pills too. You're all raving about it, maybe I should join the club." Her answer left me stunned and in that moment of surprise, she slammed the door, her footsteps echoing above.

"Raf, don't. Give her space," Blaze murmured when she saw the enraged glint in my eye.

Travis brushed past me, shooting me a look of disappointment and disbelief before racing upstairs after Bree.

When I turned to Blaze, she directed her gaze down, provoking a sharp pain in my chest. I couldn't handle it, the constant disappointment that seemed to plague me.

My hands trembled as I followed the same path as Bree, racing up the steps. My skin crawled as the walls seemed to cave in.

I took a detour to my room, slamming the door behind me. The only difference was no one followed me.

I needed the pills, craved them to numb the typhoon of anguish that was churning in my stomach.

Ransacking through my closet, my vision blurred with pent up frustration and anger. The desperation grew when I couldn't find anything, knowing it was all stuffed in the backpack downstairs.

Blaze had it. I needed her, where was she?

Glass shattered and objects cluttered as the emotions inside me reached a crest. I didn't realise what I was doing anymore.

An eruption of nerves took over and I slumped back against my bed, eyeing the mess in front of me.

Books and broken objects were scattered in front of me, glass pieces sticking to the dark carpet and I flinched.

All the energy seeped out of me as I pulled my knees up, staring through the open curtains at the evening sky. I missed Cairo.

The obsidian stretch was barren, inky clouds extending like raven claws.

However, I couldn't find the one thing I wanted to see, the tiny flickers that seemed to snuff my anger out.

Where were the stars?

Where was she?

hi! rafael's pov after a long time huh. sorry i have exams rn and hear this, i missed one test cause i fucking slept in lmaooo. thank heck i got a redo. almost cried so that was fun.

AND holy fuck we crossed 100K?!?! it literally feels like yesterday when i was all psyched for crossing 100 reads so this is surreal. thank you guys so so so much i love y'all.

thoughts on the chapter?

also, what are our opinions on a potential makeout scene?

question: what was your favourite disney show growing up? or were you a nickelodeon person? i was both tbh.

i love you guys, take care of yourself, y'all are beautiful.

love
a