"Maybe I was scared of trusting you because no matter how much I tried, there was always something that I ended up losing. And you were something I wanted to keep"

♛ R a f a e l ♛

After Blaze left, Bree and I just stood there and she gave me a worried look. No one was saying anything and it was getting frustrating.

I sighed and stomped towards my car, with Bree trailing behind. "Raf, will you tell me what's wrong" she said. "It's none of your business. I don't want to talk about it" I spoke angrily. She didn't get the idea though.

She grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around. She spoke to me like I was a child "I want to talk about it, so tell me why you're so riled up. I've never seen you angry since Mum.." At the mention of her, I felt livid once again. "Stop talking about her for fuck's sake. That woman is not worthy of being called my Mother. For me, she's just Teresa. So, shut the fuck up and get in the car and don't speak a word on the way home" I yelled at her. Her face instantly fell and I felt a pang of guilt for getting angry.

I slammed the door once I reached the car and I felt Bree enter the car after me. The atmosphere was tense and I gripped the steering wheel trying to calm myself down. "I'm sorry" I apologized to her and she gave me a small smile. "I should be sorry for bringing her up. I know you're still sensitive about her and you'll talk when you're ready". I nodded and we were on the way home.

Neither one of us bothered to speak after that, and once we reached home, we went to our separate bedrooms. The tension between us was still thick and I felt guilty for it. We never usually fought for real, just the playful banter here and there. She was an amazing twin and she was always there for me at my lowest. I felt like a prick for telling her off.

I needed to cool myself down after today. My thoughts drifted off to Blaze. I barely knew the girl, but the look in her eyes when that bastard raced off led me to worry if she would be alright. I paced the room back and forth. My head started to hurt and the torrent of thoughts circling my mind wasn't helping.

I decided to call up my dealer, Christoph. He dealt me some good shit that helped take my mind off the shithole I called my life. I needed some hard drugs right now. I was on the verge of snapping someone's neck like a twig. Presumably the fucker that punched me today.

Christoph picked up the phone as soon as I called. What can I say, he was an efficient dealer. "Hey Chris" I greeted him. "Yo Raf. What's it gonna be today, the usual?" He asked. "Nahh I need some hard shit today" He chuckled. "I got some Molly, Z-Bars, LSD, Crystal Meth. You name it and I'll send it your way". Bree didn't know I was back on drugs and I wanted to keep it that way.

After the shit that happened with Teresa , I had fallen in a dark downward spiral. Jason wasn't much of a father figure either. He was always working, never giving a shit about his children. I was living off drugs as if it were oxygen and passing out on the floor drunk. Jason was pissed at first but he tried to get me sober.

I didn't give a shit about what he thought. He wasn't there when I needed him. My addiction had gotten to the point where I would be lying on the floor unconscious at times. It was surprising that I hadn't overdosed.

Bree had begged me to stop one day, otherwise she would start taking them herself. Well, I couldn't let her get involved in all this bullshit. I was in way too deep and I needed to protect her from that. I knew I was fucked up in the head and I didn't need Bree turning out that way. She was better than me.

I had stopped for a few months for her sake when we came here a year ago and those were the hardest months of my life. I was constantly craving a hit, but she helped me overcome it when I was thrashing in my room and sweating to the point where I passed out from all the exhaustion. She wanted to tell Jason, but I stopped her. I trusted her to help me with this.

I tried, I really did but I succumbed to the darkness inside me once again and drugs became my escape. The past was a bitch to escape.

"Get me some Z-Bars. I'll pick them up at the regular" I replied and cut the call. As I went downstairs, I saw Bree was nowhere to be found. Where had she gone? Maybe out, I guess. I picked up my keys and saw that Bree's car wasn't in the driveway. She did have a car, but never bothered to drive it. Today was an exception, I guess. I got in my car and drove off to the pick up spot. It was in an alley beside a cafe in town. Quite cliche.

As I pulled up I saw Christoph waiting with a bag in his hands. I got out and handed him his money in exchange for the pills. "Be careful. If you take one too many, you'll be floating in the clouds with the angels, and I don't want my ass on the line" Christoph said and I scowled at him. "Thanks for caring, dipshit". I had taken this stuff before and even much worse. I didn't need a hazard warning every time I picked it up. I got back and drove off, not giving him a second glance.

I thought about calling Travis over. He sometimes got high with me, although he only took weed, but he never asked any questions. That was one of the many reasons he was my friend. I could trust him not to snitch on Bree. I realized Bree might be home, so I decided I'd check home if she was back otherwise I'd drive over to Travis' house and crash there.

As I pulled into the driveway, I saw she still wasn't home. I grew worried but maybe she was just cooling off after our fight today. I raced up the stairs and into my bedroom, anxious to forget today.

I ripped open the bag and popped a pill in my mouth. One pill was enough to make me escape and that's all I needed today.

I laid down in bed and felt my thoughts get blurry. Chris dealt some strong shit. No dinner for me today. I was in no condition to get up and make myself some food. I began thinking of everything. The bitch I had to call my Mum. The bastard otherwise known as my Dad. We took the cake on being a dysfunctional, fucked up family.

"I love my family. They're fucking amazing. Let's all go on a vacation and click some dandy photos to show we're normal and not a fucked up bunch of assholes" I rambled sub-consciously. No, Bree wasn't an asshole. "Not you Bree" I yelled and then laughed, trying to stand up. I felt my vision getting hazy and I stumbled.

"Bree, I'm coming to find you. Ready or not. Here I come". We were playing Hide and Seek after all, weren't we? When I got no reply I slumped back down on the bed. "Don't be a spoilsport, I wanna play Bree" I whined to the empty room.

My thoughts drifted to the girl I couldn't get off my mind as of today. Blaze. "You just wanna fuck her that's all" I started arguing with myself. "No I wanna know her. She's different". "She's just the same as the other girls" the voice in my head seemed louder. "No she's not, she's beautifully damaged" I shouted and then cringed at how whipped I sounded. I felt myself drifting off, thinking about her as I felt my eyes get heavier.

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I groaned as I felt light pouring into my room. What the fuck? What time was it? I checked my phone and saw it was 6:45AM. I bloody passed out. Why didn't Bree wake me up? That's when the events of yesterday flooded into my mind. I groaned and realized that I had to call Bree to check up on her. The phone rang a few times before she picked up.

"Hey you're up? I left for school early today. I had to get some work done. I'll catch a ride home from a friend don't worry." her tone was wavering and she was definitely lying. "Don't even try to lie to me, Bree. Look at the goddamn time" I growled and she was quick to reply. "It's not like you're giving me a whole ass blog on your life, so you're in no position to judge" her voice was growing angrier by the second.

She was right. I needed to calm down. "I'm sorry I just wanted to check up on you. You weren't home yesterday, that's why". I replied and I felt her sigh. "Yeah I'm sorry, I was out for dinner with a friend". She replied and I wondered who she went out to dinner with. She didn't have any friends. At least that's what I thought.

We talked some more and luckily she didn't see me in my passed out state as she was home late yesterday. Weird. I doubted whether she even came home yesterday, and I decided to grill her about it soon.

I brushed my teeth and quickly showered. As soon as I started getting dressed, I heard my phone ring. It was a call from the devil himself, Jason.

"What do you want?" I stormed into the phone and I felt him calmly reply. "Son, I just wanted to hear your voice". "You're a few years too late, don't you think?" I sassed back. The man never lost his temper with me though, I wondered why. "I know I'm never home son, but I care for both you and Bree. I try my best but it was hard for me too..." I heard his voice soften but I was having none of his bullshit.

"Well thank you so much for caring. Your regular paychecks are a great reminder of how you're the world's Best Father. Should I get you a mug for that, while I'm at it?" I sarcastically told him off. "I'll try to be home more, Son. I just want you to know that I know you're still not okay and I'm always here if you need to talk" his words seemed kind but I stuck to the fact that he wasn't there when I needed him. I hung up the phone and angrily got dressed. He spoilt my entire mood. Not that I was in a great one either. I had a pounding headache from the Z-Bars earlier.

I raced downstairs and noticed I was late today. I rushed off to school and ran to Literature. I couldn't bother to get a late slip. Not like I cared.

I entered the class and the witch still wasn't here. I was in no mood to deal with her anyways. I slammed my desk as I sat down, then suddenly felt someone recoil next to me. It was Blaze. Fuck. I forgot she sat next to me.

I immediately felt all my anger vanish at the sight of her. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was acting like a puppy around her. I couldn't help it. I felt something with her. I wasn't going to deny that. She was like a drug I never tried, but got addicted to with the first hit.

I went to greet her but she turned away. I knew she was skeptical and it would take some time to get to know her, but I wasn't going to give up. I knew all too well about someone not being there.

I kept glancing her way the entire class and I could feel her dozing off. I was about to wake her, when the witch herself materialised. Talk about supernatural powers. Mrs. Lively grabbed her by the wrists and Blaze immediately winced. I felt anger at someone hurting her. I was about to speak up, but Blaze murmured a soft sorry in her angelic voice. Stop acting like a love-struck puppy.

I tapped her shoulder and asked her if she was okay. By the looks of it, she wasn't. I felt her eyes widen but then they immediately hardened as she haughtily replied, "Why do you care?". That one sentence of her hurt me more than I cared to admit. It was clear she was hurting. How could someone be so blind as to not notice it? I indeed wasn't going to let this go. I knew what it felt like to be alone.

Before I could stop myself, I pulled her hand into mine and rubbed soothing circles, trying to show I was there. I felt her relax and I felt glad that I had a calming effect on her, like she did on me. But she immediately jerked her hand away as if she realized where we were, and looked ahead.

I remembered at that moment, she also had a boyfriend. Even if he was an asshole, she cared for him. The atmosphere tensed and we ignored each other for the rest of the class.'Way to fuck it up, Hernandez' I muttered to myself. She raced off after class and I didn't see her again.

At Lunch, me and Travis went to our spot on the roof of the school. Smoking a joint, we sat in silence. It was like that with him most of the time, but it was never uncomfortable. He was a goof, the complete opposite of me. Maybe that's we vibed so much. I felt my thoughts drift to Blaze. This was happening a lot in the past twenty-four hours. I barely knew the girl but she was intriguing and I wasn't going to give up on her.
up.

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After lunch I had History. I made my way to class and sat in my seat. The teacher droned on about some war, but I was the least bit interested. The door creaked open, and in came Blaze. Every time I saw her, I always felt a warm feeling in my chest. Here I was, acting like a hormonal teenager again. I had a feeling it was going to be that way no matter how frequent we met.

If she was here, that meant she skipped the last three classes yesterday. Probably crying over Aiden. I felt my blood boil at the memory of her tears but willed myself to calm down. She made her way over to the last row and I noticed a free seat next to her.

One thing I had observed about her was she always tried her best to stay hidden and out of everyone's sight. She hid her face in the hallways and avoided practically everyone in class. Maybe that's why I never noticed a beauty like her before. Once you saw her, she was impossible to forget. There you go again with the soft behaviour.

I moved next to her, not giving a shit about what the teacher thought. I saw her widen her eyes when she noticed me and she glared while saying "What do you want?" She looked so adorable. Anger didn't suit her. I wanted to break down the walls she hid behind and show her how much she deserved. I grinned as I replied, "Nothing. I just want to know you, sweetheart" I felt her smile as I called her that but she hid it quick

"Don't call me that" she grimaced. "Well what do you want me to call you, princesa?" I smirked. I couldn't help flirting around her. I loved how she blushed at each strange thing that came out of my mouth. Weirdly, it turned me on. 'Get your mind out of the gutter, Hernandez. She's not that kind of girl. She's a keeper' The voice inside me said. Damn, I sounded like a grandma.

She tried to be angry once again "Don't call me anything. In fact, stop talking to me" I shut up after that but like I said, I wasn't going to give up. "Yesterday was the first day I saw you sweetheart. And can I say that boyfriend of yours is an asshole to hurt you" I spat angrily and she grew scared as I clenched my fists at the mention of him. There it was again, the fear etched across her face.

"He's never hurt me. He's an amazing boyfriend." I could tell she was lying to protect him. I was quick to retaliate and told her I would've fought back if she wasn't there. The words she said next hit deep. "You're no one to judge me or my boyfriend. Also, I wasn't crying because of him and if it wasn't for you suddenly taking an interest in me and interfering in my life even though you barely knew me, you wouldn't have been punched. I'm sorry, but I think you should stay away from me" she whispered. After saying all that she still said 'sorry'. This girl was going to be the death of me. But her words definitely hit a sore spot.

I smiled as I genuinely replied , "It's only been a day, but I'm sticking around. And that punch didn't even hurt". I had to add the last part. Her pussy boyfriend was a weak asshole and I wasn't scared of him. Blame it on the fragile male ego.

She smiled but glared at me and I could tell she was still angry. "I'm serious when I say stay away". I could see that she was struggling to stay strong. I didn't say anything after that but wondered if I should leave her alone. The period flew by and we avoided each other.

She wasn't in my next class and I started thinking maybe it was better if I left her alone. I was a fucked up guy. I had way too many issues and I didn't want her getting involved with someone like me. Even though she was lying about being happy with Aiden, they had been together for a year and half. There must be something there. I was no one to interfere.

She was right in telling me off. I was too much of a burden and Teresa had made that very clear. Not that anyone knew that, but they were better off kept in the dark. I was a self-destructive asshole and Blaze didn't need that in her life. She deserved happiness. I felt my thoughts get dark again as I craved another hit. Maybe one too many this time.

I kept myself from bugging her again when we had Chemistry together.

We didn't sit beside each other either and I zoned off in the class, not bothering to hear what the teacher was saying. I was too far gone to care anyways. I thought maybe Blaze would let me in, but she had made it clear that I was to stay away.

A girl so beautiful and amazing like her couldn't be associated with an asshole like me. I wasn't going to ruin her life. I had ruined enough for a lifetime. I was a disappointment for everyone around me, I didn't want to add Blaze's name onto that long list.

Mrs. Reynolds, the Chemistry teacher was droning on about some project we had to do. I couldn't care less and zoned out. But I suddenly heard mine and Blaze's name being called out together. We were paired together.

Fuck. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. How was I supposed to stay away now?

Hey Babes! So that was the second part in Rafael's POV. What do you think of his father? Is Rafael a little too harsh on him or does he deserve it? There are still heaps of skeletons to uncover.

So homeboy does drugs. Phew. Just to clarify, I don't support anything that can damage your body and your well being. Stay away from drugs. In the words of Chase Atlantic, Moral of the story: don't die kids. We are going to ignore how they also write all their songs about drugs though.

If you find me talking a lot about Chase Atlantic, just understand that they are my OBSESSION. Don't judge, we've all got one of those.

What do you think happened with Raf and his mum? Rafael still doesn't know Bree and Blaze are friends.

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