Chapter 23

<Jasper Coven>

"Hey, Jasper," Pastor Tate smiles as I walk into the sanctuary, my guitar case in hand.

"Hey," I give him a half smile and make my way towards the stage where the rest of the worship band is setting up.

It's been almost a month since Callie took me to church with her and as promised, it changed my life. Pastor Tate and the worship band have become a regular presence in my life. Sundays belong to church and any other time I have left belongs to the two angels in my life: my mom and Callie. I smile at the thought of my beautiful girlfriend as I slip out of my jacket and unpack my acoustic guitar.

"Do you have an extra pick?" Elliot, another guitar player in the worship band, asks with a grin.

"Yeah," I reply and shuffle around the bottom of my guitar case. "Here it is."

"Thanks, man." Elliot takes the guitar pick and walks across the stage.

I bite my lip and flip through the lyrics to the songs we've decided to sing this coming Sunday.

"Which one do you wanna start with?" Elliot calls from the other side of the stage.

"Um," I rub the back of my neck and turn towards him. "In Christ alone."

"Let's go." Elliot says as he begins to play.

"In Christ alone, my hope is found, he is my light, my strength, my song." I sing in a low, raspy voice

~~~~~

It's near nine o'clock which means it's time for the band to start packing up. Elliot high fives me and drops my guitar pick back into my case.

"Sounding great, man." He grins and goes to pack up his stuff as Pastor Tate walks towards me.

He sits down on the stage and I swing my legs over the edge so I'm sitting next to him.

"I'm really glad you decided to do this, Jasper; God gave you a gift and it warms my heart to see you use it." Pastor Tate pats my shoulder, a comfortable silence ensuing.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jasper." He turns to face me with the same kind look in his eye that I've become accustomed to.

"I wanted to start a music program here, for kids you know." I stutter and rub the back of my neck. "I feel like kids can learn a lot through music and I'd like to do anything I can to help out with that."

"You know, that's a really good idea." Pastor Tate says with a thoughtful expression. "You'd need to get some instrument donations, of course, but I don't think there'd be any problem with that in this wonderful congregation. Why don't we smooth out the kinks over dinner? Have you eaten yet?"

"No," I reply respectfully.

"Why don't we go get a burger or something and discuss this program of yours."

I nod and follow him out of the church, my guitar case still clutched tightly in my hand.

~~~~~

"Aw, Jasper, that's such a sweet idea!" Callie coos as she leans on my shoulder.

My truck's parked in the middle of my family's cornfield and Callie and I are laying in the back, staring up at the blue sky. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me.

"Well, I'm gonna need your help with it." I say in a low whisper, placing my lips on her forehead.

She giggles a little and closes her eyes, nodding.

"Of course I'm going to help you; anything you need."

"I love you, Callie."

"I love you too, Jasper." She smirks and opens her eyes. "You know a few months ago, I never would've dreamed you'd be saying those words to me."

"Now, you're the only person I'd want to say those words to."

"And you said you'd rather be alone." Callie murmurs, nuzzling her face close to my neck.

"No, I said it'd be easier to just be alone."

"Well, is it?" She asks, her breath fanning my neck."

"Not anymore, Callie." I reply and run my fingers gently through her hair. "Not anymore."

~~~~

Callie and I have been asking around the congregation for weeks for new or used kids instruments; so far we've received some maracas, one tambourine and a set of bongo drums. Callie's parents donated some money for me to buy more instruments and Pastor Tate has generously done some fundraising, but there still isn't enough for all for the kids to have something to play with.

I sigh and decide to go down to the basement where I shoved away boxes of toys that Charlie and I played with when we were young. After he died, I tried to bury anything that reminded me of him: both memories and worldly objects. Ms. Evans told me that wasn't healthy, but I listened to her about as well as my dad listened to the alcohol counselors. I walk slowly down the concrete steps into that dark, dingy basement that's really just a glorified hole in the ground. It's damp and cold, filled with boxes of unwanted memories and dusty old bottles of alcohol.

I make my way to a corner that's partially hidden by a water heater. This is where I shoved three boxes of toys and books that Charlie and I used to distract us from our parents fighting. It didn't do much to drown out the yelling, but it was nice to spend time with my brother. I pull out three worn cardboard boxes from their place behind the water heater and begin to peel the tape away that's keeping them bound together. My breath catches in my throat when I see my brother's copy of The Little Prince. Even now, I can hear him reading it to me while I was lounging on the tire swing; the breeze and the warm sunlight mixing with the calm in his voice. I come out of the memory and feel tears wetting my cheeks.

I slip the small, paperback book into my back pocket and go searching for what I came here for. Maybe if I have an objective, it won't hurt as much to look at these things.

After looking through all three boxes, I finally find the old instruments we used to play with. As loud, rowdy children, banging on drums and ringing bells allowed us to make as much annoying noise as possible. Since we spent most of our time at the supposedly abandoned train tracks, no one really got bothered by our "band" as we liked to call it. Charlie and I found hours of endless entertainment in pretending we had any musical talent at all; I guess that's probably where my love for music started. I draw in a deep breath and pack all of the instruments into a sturdier cardboard box before walking back upstairs.

I check my watch, my eyes bulging out of my head when I realize that I only have fifteen minutes until the program starts. I guess this'll have to do. I grab my car keys and kiss my mom on the forehead, telling her that I'll be home in a few hours. She wishes me luck and closes the door behind me as I rush out to my truck. I put the box in my passenger seat and then drive down the dirt road and towards the church.

With five minutes to spare, I walk into the sanctuary where Pastor Tate is allowing me to host this music program. Some families have already arrived and he's greeting them while the little kids take a seat on the stage where the instrument donations are already set up. I smile in spite of myself and take the box, along with my guitar case, to the front set of pews where Callie and her little brother are sitting.

"Hey, babe." I whisper and kiss her cheek.

"Hey, Jasper." She bites her lip happily and holds her little brother's hand. "Guess who's here, Henry?"

He giggles and looks up towards me.

"Jasper," He squeals and points towards me as he chews on a few of his fingers.

"That's right, squirt." I smile and ruffle his hair a little. "I'm so glad you guys came."

"Henry's been very excited about this; almost as excited as when he discovered that mom ran out of strained peas." Callie winks as we stand up and make our way towards the stage.

Pastor Tate walks towards me and pats my shoulder.

"Thank you for doing this, Jasper; I'm sure it'll mean a lot to these kids."

"I'm happy to do it." I nod and hop up on stage with Pastor Tate following close behind.

"Hey, guys. This is Jasper and he's going to teach y'all about music." Pastor Tate says excitedly and all of the kids look up towards me with their faces practically gleaming. "Let's pray and then you guys can get started."

He waits for everyone to bow their heads before he begins.

"Father God, please bless this time we have here together. Please give Jasper the wisdom to show your love to these kids and please help them to hear your wonderful message. In Jesus' name we pray, amen."

With that he leaves me with the kids as he goes to sit down with the parents in the back pews. I draw in a deep breath and take a seat next to a little girl with a pink bow in her hair. She has a nametag that reads 'Suzie' and looks to be on the verge of tears.

"Hey guys, I'm Jasper." I start off awkwardly. "I brought some instruments for y'all to play today."

I open up the box and slowly take out mine and Charlie's old instruments. They're pretty worn and most of them are scribbled on with markers. I trace the material of the tambourine where Charlie wrote his name and then hand it to Suzie who accepts it without saying a word.

"Okay everyone, grab an instrument." I smile and take out my guitar, strumming a few chords on it as the kids excitedly take maracas and tambourines from the center of the circle. "So, we're going to play Jesus Loves Me, which I'm sure you've all heard."

They all nod their heads enthusiastically, their instruments making noise in time with their movements.

"Great! So, you guys with the tambourines are going to hit them once at the beginning of every new line. It'll go like this."

I sing and point to the tambourine players when they need to hit their instruments.

"That sounds amazing guys." I say genuinely. "Now, maracas, I need you to shake your instruments slowly throughout the song."

I sing again and everyone puts their parts together.

"You guys sound amazing; you wanna play it again?"

They all nod and I begin to strum on my guitar, the tambourines and maracas joining in.

"Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak, but he is strong."

~~~~~~

"Okay, guys, so sadly our time is coming to an end, but I thought we could play one more song together." I say and run my fingers over the frets of my guitar.

"Yay!" They cheer and grab their instruments.

"So, maracas, just shake slowly and those with tambourines, I'm going to need you to pat on your legs throughout the song. Can y'all do that for me?"

They bob their heads up and down, signaling me that I can begin.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away."

I catch Callie's eye and she smiles serenely at her lap. I hope she knows it's about her; I hope she knows she's the light of my life.

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away." I sing slowly as the kids clap their little hands together.

Callie blushes and looks up at me; her lips mouth the words I love hearing from her. I love you too, Callie, only you.