I always thought about my life. How is my life is surrounded by such illogical and rhetorical things?

I am emotionally attached to so many beings such as friends and cousins, acquaintances and classmates, colleagues and neighbors yet I have no logical and biological need for them.

I suffer because their actions and words somehow hurt me. From time to time, yes but still...

How can a person care for what they think about them? It's not their life, it's not their problems..., they don't know your needs like you do..., they don't dream as you do..., they don't think the thoughts you conjure.

Then why?

I understand such stuff about parents. They are too invested. They took care of us when we were young.

We are younger versions of themselves, so they try their very best to give us what they couldn't have. (And I am not complaining).

We are their hope in vain.

They are looking for themselves in us, hoping we appear perfectly fine specimens (which rarely happens).

But we forgive them.

We forgive them for pushing their high expectations on us because they mean well.
They are nice, mostly.
They care for us more than all social nincompoops do in this universe.

But when it comes to your dreams, your ideas, your hobbies, music(which is also an unexplained and illogical phenomenon), and stories, your peers come in.

They accept you.

Stand beside you.

Support you in your most stupid ideas and thought.

Why?

Why not parents come here? They claim to love us unconditionally.

Acquaintances want to know how's your job going on? And somehow assume that I want to know that A cheated on B, C got a new job, D is getting married.

Your classmates are either interested in whom you find hot in class or can you help them get their grades up. The third scenario is they bully you for some unknown reason.

My main problem is that I don't want to care for what they do and talk about. I don't want to care what they say about me. Still...

Still, I care.

Why do I care?

Why do I play along? I fake concerns about their routine and little things.
I lie on their faces showing I am interested.

I don't think I am fooling anybody with that.

I am still attached to them. I miss them when they are not around. I think about their opinions all the time. There is no need for that.

I know and I still care.

I am messed up.