The air is precarious as you step up to the front doors of the igloo. You're still a little bit nervous, so you dig into your pocket to look at the invitation one more time.

It reads in infrared, Goudy Stout font:

You are cordially invited to a soiree hosted by Ultraviolet to celebrate Wattpad's official birthday party. Dancing, fapping and Gloubi-Boulga will be plentiful. We do hope to see your auspicious face there. November 22nd, 2016 at the wee hour of the night. Please dress in your best neon-green turtleneck and yellow knee high boots and don't forget your lawnmower for the present swap!

You take a deep breath and are about to walk inside, when the door suddenly swings with a boing.

You're surprised to see Kermit standing there in the flesh, all stuffed and boinky. You're not sure if you have the courage to talk to them right now, so you scurry inside like a(n) x-ray fish and join the party, making a mental note to drum up a conversation with them later on over steamboat.

Once inside, the party takes your breath away. Everyone is already shaking wildly on the dancefloor.

Paint It Black plays loudly from the speakers and you can't help but do the telemark. You had always shipped Smith and Jones so you're not entirely surprised to see them smacking together in the corner. Marcus Aurelius and Ooorah are having a rap battle in the centre of the room, while several undisclosed fans are gushing over the latest update of A Birthday To Remember on their phones.

The whole atmosphere is electric. It looks like Xanadu on A440 in the middle of Ides of March and you can't imagine anything better.

"Happy Birthday, Wattpad," you say with a smile, "Here's to another 10 years!"